Hannah sat with knees pulled up to her chest. With her fingers growing unexceptionally cold, just as usually when put to strong stress – she wrapped her palms utterly in the edges of her sleeves. Her face colored with pinkish stains, another result of the nervousness she felt.

With a cheek leaning onto one of her hand-wraps, while trying to remain focused on what was playing at the TV screen, she kept on stealing glances at her new roommate sitting right beside.

His dark, auburn hair which misbehaving stands glittered with reddish in the bright light of sunbeams falling through the window. Again, Hannah had to admit that this color paid tribute to his cool white complexion. Was it so pale because he stayed in a cat form for a while? Went through her mind as she frowned that her brain even took her there to wonder.

No matter how much she tried to push such thoughts away. Hannah had to admit that while looking at him from the side, his nose truly seemed as squishy as the cat’s which she had a fresh image in memory. That cute cat she used to pet so many times. Rub behind ears and onto its belly… she almost choked on the saliva she’s been trying to swallow.

To which she gain herself an another judging look coming from Suga as she coughed twice. She grabbed onto her phone and tried to ignore his enquiring expression. Wanted to seem not so swayed by his overwhelming presence in her – till yesterday – private space.

Since the fridge was still empty, Hannah filled the table with snacks she’s been stashing in the kitchen’s cupboards. Was she feeling ashamed when he glared at her for proposing a cup of instant noodles instead of a fully-balanced meal?

Maybe…

Except of him throwing few more shady comments about her empty fridge and of how he stared to doubt if she was even a human, they didn’t talk much as she felt too ill at ease.

Hannah neglected him and before getting on the couch had another look at the ‘Contract’ – a whole of 10 rules the two of them just signed being hung on the fridge. It was her, who placed it there and made sure it stays up by pegging it to the surface with four, vegetable shaped magnets. Two crying carrots, a smiley tomato and a blushing cucumber. The ones she bought while going shopping for the first time since moving here. Were they tacky?

Yes. Hannah sighed. But doesn’t each home have such? Few pitiful souvenirs bought at a moment of joyful forgetfulness. Those which seemed nice the moment you bought it, but with time turned into a piece of garbage. The one you still didn’t feel like throwing away only because it reminded you of the feeling you had.

Did it really happen? She asked herself and then looked at the person being the cause of her current distress looking at the cup of slowly swelling noodles with a disillusioned expression.

With just that, he irritated her.

Though his face remained stoic. As a great observer she always was, Hannah found noticing those small changes affecting various muscles of his face, as a piece of cake.

Easy as it seemed. It certainly wasn’t her piece of cake.

Wasn’t it because of how with time, she learned how to avert her eyes away from people? Their disapproving changes in expressions. Slight brow movements or mouth twitching. The way how easily they could just stop listening to another person, because of how, if it simply wasn’t their opinion – other points of view actually stopped mattering.

The ability to see through people, seeing mind reflected on their faces – all that irritated her. Made her feel deceived. Going through one comedown after another, she finally enclosed herself in the fictional world. The world she made the rules and felt at peace in.

“If you have somewhere else to go right now? Somewhere where you can eat for free?” Hannah glared him back in the eyes as he hesitated in taking a portion together with chopsticks from her hands “Then go there now. Leave! Spare me these judging eyes and comments of yours.” she snorted.

Though he sighed displeased. It was quite satisfactory when he took it from her right away. She felt even more triumphant when he dug in.

Cooking was never something she felt invested in. To plan up her diet and assess how nutritious each of her meals be. No, that’s was not her. If she was hungry, she ate & drunk whatever she wanted. That caused her to rip hair off her head sometimes due to her weight – but this was just how the things were.

Either way, with time – bothering herself with unfamiliar people’s opinion stopped mattering. That happens when you cut down contact with them to a bare minimum...

An opened bag of honey butter chips laid on the table. To keep busy and focus on something less awkward than him. To think less of his purpose in staying there with her rather than straightforwardly asking him – Hannah dug into the pack and started munching the chips.

It was not her fault that she liked to mix various flavors. Out of other snacks, there were: double stuffed oreos, cheeseburger tasting pringles, red bean mochis, another pack of smoky bacon chips, swirly potato chips and a six-pack of mini-bottled banana milk. That’s just how she was.

One could say that such mixture could cause quite a stir up someone’s stomach – but it was not Hannah’s case. She never backed down when it came to snacks and new tastes. Wasn’t her stomach made out of steel? She used to think.

But now she was sitting together with him. Feeling her insides turning upside down at the slightest touch of food on her tongue. Darn it... Hannah thought and put the chips bag away.

She looked to the side one more time to find him eating in silence.

Both of them sat on the orange couch in the middle of the living room, the one she ordered via web not so long ago and enjoyed laying on so much. Laying alone – should be highlighted in here. Hannah pouted.

To find her fate intertwined with his at the moment – Was it really the most awkward situation she ever found herself in? Hannah tried to search for the answer and uncontrollably sent her brain onto a ride through the hall of all horribly cringe-worthy moments she go herself in till now.

While sitting side by side with a guy you just (technically but still) spent the night with. As much as it was a fact, her heart truly seemed unable to find peace while thinking about it. Thought nothing – except daunting amount of skinship – happened.

Can it be heard in this silence? She thought of her heartbeat with one palm put to her chest and glanced at him with the corner of her eye while trying to remain unnoticed.

Hannah tired to avoid memories of her past. She didn’t tend to over analyze them too frequently, but when the time came to be reminded – those of embarrassment stayed the most vibrant. Why? The answer was that she never wanted to make the same mistakes ever again.

Though she tried hard no to, reliving those situations mortified her the same as if she was pulled back in time.

Every time she tried to snap out of it, stop this pathetic slide show of her ‘best of – Hannah’s worst moments’, already another situation took the spotlight in her memory.

How her name got simplified the first day of middle school and she was called "하나" (hana) meaning one by that group of classmates and how much it always irritated her to hear. Though she used to not pay them any attention at first. With time passing by, almost all teachers ended shortening her name as such. They even used it in a joking manner, only to prick her whenever her scores were not satisfying enough.

Hannah couldn’t count how many times she ended up as a class volunteer for… basically everything. Whatever the mass suggested, was taken gladly into account by those teachers who treated school as not a place of spreading good word & positively influencing all those young minds. To them it was rather a pathetic stand-up stage to which they could force anyone on just to entertain themselves.

As One she stayed. For years. Hannah sighed to which she did not notice but received a questioning glance from her new roommate.

Like that she also missed how he emptied the noddle cup in a span of few minutes. Leaving nothing and even drinking the broth till the last drop.

Hannah grimaced with pain at being reminded of how the kids used to for her bowl-like cut hairstyle in 5^st Grade. The one she regretted having so much it hurt. Though so long ago, it still ached her at heart to be humiliated like that in front of others. Now she knew that the girl who started that back then was just jealous of the attention Hannah got from the home-room teacher.

If that girl – Park Sohye was her name, knew that the attention given by the teacher at that time was only the outcome of pity he felt towards the child of a slowly falling apart family. Hannah thought with a sour expression.

Did he feel that I needed such attentiveness from him? Hannah asked while thinking about Mr. Yo, a 30-year old man at that time. Though she had to admit that it felt good being praised and put into spotlight, it brought her nothing good later on. Where was Mr. Yo when other kids started mocking her?

Ever since then, she started growing her hair and opposing any kind of attempts of her parents trying to trim her sliding out of control hairstyle.

Plus that one moment at kindergarten which was going to hunt her forever. When during one of the field trips she was so afraid to stay alone and straying away from the group that asking to use the bathroom seemed like an impossible task at that time. That day she peed her pants in front of EVERYONE!

Hannah face palmed herself as it was THAT one memory, which even though so many years passed, still remained as the one which was able to crush her confidence at the spot.

Was any of those situations similar in any aspect to the one she found herself now in? Defeated, Hannah slid to the very left edge of the couch while Suga occupied the middle of it, still concerned with her behavior.

With one ear listening to the show playing on the TV in front of them, the seemingly popular drama ‘Moments of our love’ as the title said – and the other ear focused on Hannah’s erratic heartbeat, he found himself confused and very eager to know what was going on inside her head.

While she searched for the alike situation in her past, just so she could find hints. A scenario she could play along with in front of him just to survive this ‘living together’ thing – Hannah’s brain took her to college years already.

Skipping by that one miserable confession she received from a senior guy with way too mach self-admiration for himself, which kept on pouring with each of his words. As she was supposed to feel grateful he noticed her… No… Hannah thought while glancing at Suga one more time.

It’s still not it. She felt.

The grasp around her pretty much empty and filled with few chips stomach somehow seemed way too familiar with how nervous she felt while renting a flat together with those two barely known to her at that time girls from other majors. Though they were completely different, their desperation to find a place to stay brought them together.

I didn’t get close to each of them for almost two whole years. Hannah sighed and crossed arms in front of her chest.

Not thinking about them ever since moving out felt as if she was trying to erase their existence from her life. Their presence, opinions and friend-preferences didn’t matter to me at that time. She thought and this time got red-handed by Suga’s piercing gaze.

It took her a moment to look away. Would she really treat him the same as those two girls from the past? Hannah asked herself and with a speeding up heartbeat focused eyes on the TV screen.

Talking about a thing called ‘perfect timing’ – The moment of the unexceptionally handsome male lead confessing his love and affection for the nerdy girl came on. Typical love story? Hannah thought.

Seeing that and immediately considering the companion she had near and the overgrowing silence between them, sent her heart on another skyrocketing journey. Panicking, she reached out for a remote laying between them to change the channel. Little did she know that he planned to do the same, but in order to rise the volume.

In a second or two, his hand casually wrapped around hers.

Hannah looked at him with pinkish stains on her cheeks growing redder. What is this? She thought and while leaving him in pure awe. With no chance of saying a word – she ripped her hand away from underneath his and stood up.

While trying to keep her breathing as steady as possible she threatened him with her index finger and all heated “One more rule – NO TOUCHING!!!” she snapped and in a hurry rushed to her room. Closing the door behind her back with a loud thud!

Suga sighed and ruffled his hair when she disappeared. He looked at his hand while biting onto his lower lip defeated, still feeling the warmth she left behind.

Exactly such reaction he was afraid of.

It took him so long to get this close to her and now here he ended. Definitely behind the walls she – as he assessed – been building around herself for a while now.

Though he knew it was too soon to expect anything. Her rejection left him anxious. With that devastating emptiness developing inside his chest. Growing with each second, he was alone again.

It was the feeling he wanted to get rid off from his everyday life so much.

He could hear Hannah’s steps despite the walls and closed door separating them. For a good while she wasn’t able to calm down was as he understood it. He heard her voice, few cusses and squeals. Then few threats aimed as someone or something he found eager to know.

“Mr. Carrot?~” he mumbled after overhearing.

Few minutes passed before her room grew silent.

Weak & tired, effecting in him still feeling hungry from using his morphing ability way too frequently a day before – he decided to dig through the food left on the table and wait.

Wait until she was ready.

One step at a time. He thought.

The sun was already setting outside. Filling her bedroom with warm orange colors and its many pastel variations.

For Hannah, it were hours that passed before she found enough will to get up from bed. The one she laid and stared at the ceiling from ever since throwing a tantrum. Her plushie bunny right next to her.

Was just a slight touch something to get so worked up on? She asked and patted it’s head apologetically for previous release of her frustration on it’s poor body. Though she tried to strangle him a while ago, he did not seem to care and returned the bunny smile no matter what.

After leaving Suga behind and now with the unchanging feeling of being at a loss, Hannah reached out for her laptop. She looked at her palm – the one he touched – while waiting for the windows 10 to be ready to use.

How come her hand still felt like burning?

It felt similar to the warmth which the blush coloring her cheeks gave her. However now, while being inside her base, the safe space of four walls – the one he confirmed not to enter with the sign, Hannah gradually found the tight grasp around her guts lessening.

Sighing, she grasped her flushed cheeks with both hands, hoping their coldness would help to get them back to the normal.

Was I too excessive? She asked herself after regaining composure. To react at a slight touch in such way? Hannah wondered and with the laptop on her knees, made herself comfortable on the bed. Content with her thoughtfulness, she dug through the pack of ginger cookies left on the bedside cabinet since last time.

As Mr. Carrot seemed rather lonely the way she just left him – she quickly pulled it into a hug and left it resting right beside her.

Wasn’t I trying to actually get closer to people? Hannah asked herself while thinking of her recent – unpublished & unfinished stories and the human factor they lacked, as the editor pointed out.

Though she tried to get out of her shell, wasn’t it her weakness?

A sense of not knowing how to react to unknown people. The power it had over her – exactly like the Kryptonite being Superman’s nemesis. Only in her case, it was in this unseen for the human eye fluid form paralyzing her body, rather than in green crystal.

Default wallpaper of her pc greeted her when the system was ready. Though 3 years now have passed since she bought it – completely personalizing it wasn’t her thing. How could she even, if there were no photos she could use? Realization of that came whenever she felt depressed enough.

“Alright!” Hannah tried to remember what she actually wanted to check inside while munching on another cookie.

Can I even google it? Went through her mind as she opened the browser. But how could she name the circumstances she found herself faced with?

After a moment of trying to find the right words – the sound of her fingers typing filled the room.

“Changing shapes”? “Morphing”? “Shape-shifters”? Rather than finding something what could help her find answers to questions she actually was unable to ask the involved person sitting outside – the internet took her to the side of it.

Love story gaming sites, romance novels, a whole amount of art dedicated to fictional characters. Hannah sighed once more in frustration and went back to the more 'proper' research. The scientific or historic explanation of it all.

The web told her about Therianthropy, a word coming from Greek. Speaking of a mythical ability. Where with therion meaning “wild animal” or “beast’ together with anthropos meaning “human being” it described creatures capable of shape-shifting.

While being there she read of Skin-walkers – humans with power to magically turn themselves into animal forms … “can also transform into more powerful jaguars and pumas” She read. Shamanism, animal spirits and Japanese yokai’s. All these information going through her head left it spinning as she even ended up going through the “100 Facts about cats”, “How are cats better than dogs” section.

Too absorbed in all of the facts/points of view she’s been trying her brain to digest, she did not even realize when the night came, filling her room with darkness. Only weariness of her eyes, outcome of staring at the bright screen light as she haven’t any of the lamps – caused her to snap out of this utterly unsatisfying and unhelpful knowledge tour.

Hannah put the laptop aside to close it and if it wasn’t for the loud grumbling that came from her stomach, she would’ve probably wrapped up and fell asleep. Without washing at all! Whatever with it! She thought, but it was her stomach which demanded FOOD and as well as she knew this type of feeling, It was a given that she wouldn’t be able to sleep while hungry.

Could he be asleep already? Went through her mind as she bit onto her thumb and slowly got on her feet. Barefoot – she sneaked close to the door and took a deep breathe before placing her hand on the door handle. A bit should be enough to see how is the situation outside? Hannah thought and glanced through the gap.

In a distance, she could see the light coming from the TV screen being reflected on the wall leading to it. Its brightness playing with her ability to see at dark, had Hannah see nothing but black space as far as around 3 meters ahead.

With the furniture layout in mind, she stayed assured that going to the fridge & back without a sound is going to be easy. It’s not the first time since I’ve done it. She tried to push aside any reminders of hesitation.

Was he still on the couch? She wondered thinking he must’ve probably been immersed in some other drama. Or he fell asleep there?

The snacks she left there on the table were also an option, but she couldn’t risk facing him again today. What was she going to say to him? The poor girl thought.

Yes… sorry, you must’ve been shocked for my sudden outburst. The deal is, I tend to be like that sometimes. She facepalmed herself as this kind of talk, explaining why she acted in a certain way while being judged – was what she detested the most in her life.

As quietly as possible, without turning the nearest light on she opened the door a bit wider.

The fact that she had no idea where he was, or out of where he could jumpscare her – just like at the market this morning – made her gulp nervously. Hannah wished to not face him again this night... the awkwardness is going to be unbearable. She thought with fists clenching.

While gently stomping on the floor, she managed to take two small steps ahead – only to find a thick, rather round object on her way. As somehow her pace was too swift while being faced with the unexpected obstacle – she tripped over it.

A shriek left as she fell. More scared of what she was going to hit while meeting the floor, she drawn her forearms to front hoping it’ll minimize the impact somehow.

It hurts. Hannah cringed after falling flat and tried to find her left elbow. The one with which she hit the floor first. She rolled onto her back and started massaging the bruised part with a high-pitched groan.

After doing so, Hannah felt the impact radiating on her left hip and knee as well. Then through the rest of her tensed up body. This time a pain-filled moan came out of . Her heart skipped a beat r two when with squinted eyes, she noticed them.

A pair of eyes glistened in the dark.

Like those of a wild animal. The ones that has been just set on a pray. Hannah gulped in pure puzzlement.

“Hannah-yah?” she heard his voice and at the same time felt him sliding his hands from her bruised knee up to a hip. It took her breath away after his palm traveled higher and stopped to check on her scratched elbow. He was close. She felt the warmth of his body hovering only few inches above her.

One of his hands wrapped at the back of her neck. “Did you hit your head?” Suga asked.

After realizing that it was his fault. That it was him laying on the floor in front of her bedroom’s door “No… It was you?!” she wanted to yell at him but her voice sounded faint instead.

“What were you doing there? In front of my door.” Hannah neglected the fact of his hands being on her still, as somehow his touch helped to ease the pain.

“Waiting.” he replied, concern heard in his voice.

“Huh?” too hungry and at pain, Hannah pushed his hand away from her forearm. “Why didn’t you use the couch or … bed in the other room?” she tried to roll to her side and speak more coherently.

“To use Grandma’s room.” he started “It's not right.” Hannah heard him justifying and herself felt a prick at heart.

True. She thought as she had the same feelings towards that room. The only one she didn’t redecorate or dared to sleep at herself ever since moving in.

When he drawn away form her and turned the closest light on, she saw his bothered face and eyes looking at her with worry. At that moment, she realized that he changed into the clothes she bought him at the market.

“Just a scratch and few bruises.” he stated softly while carefully inspecting her limbs.

After seeing him being so rapt about her well-being, Hannah felt another onrush of embarrassment swallowing her. Caused not only by how she acted towards him before but also about the whole web reading of mythical creatures and their abilities. She somehow felt wrong and stupid for neglecting him as a human, for treating him like a research object rather that a boy he was. The incarnation of everything she’s been writing about in her stories? An entrance to the fantasy world she’s been creating in her head.

Though she had no idea of his origin – he was there with her.

Hannah looked away from his face to hide her flustered expression.

“I know that you don’t want me to touch you.” Hannah heard him saying while one of his hands still wrapped around her forearm. This time she caught herself on actually not minding that. She realized and glanced back at him.

“Li-listen, it’s been a while…” Hannah stuttered while trying to maintain the eye contact with him hovering only an arm-length away from her – “… since I had someone… this close.” she ended not so sure if she was able to articulate her thoughts clearly.

Close? Are we close? Are we meant to be any way? Oh dear… she rolled her eyes at a loss, too overwhelmed by the speed of her own thoughts.

“What I want to say – is that I’m sorry for before.” Hannah added and then after a moment of silence, she furrowed her eyebrows after feeling how he bent her arm and leaned closer to reach her elbow with his mouth.

“What are you doing?!” She blurred dumbstruck when he the mini-graze she obtained there after a fall. Her cheeks reddened at the spot.

“Disinfecting.” Suga replied surprised she didn’t find the answer obvious. Hearing her heartbeat speeding up all of a sudden and that rather entrancing reaction on her face – he leaned further to see it more clearly from up close.

“If you get hurt like this. I don’t like it.” when he said it with such honesty in the eyes, her heart jumped inside. Was the tingling she felt in her chest quite enjoyable actually? She asked herself.

Hannah sat up abruptly and pushed him aside till he fell on his . “Get off me.” she mumbled while “Can you stand by yourself?” he asked and tried to reach out to help only to be met up with a glare.

Without replying she got up and hobbled to the living room. She glanced at her left elbow with pursued lips and this time her own finger to then slide it by the small injury. What’s with this guy?! Hannah sighed with eyebrows furrowing.

It was when her stomach grumbled again, that she saw a pile of empty snack packs being left on the table. There was nothing to eat there…

What’s more – Hannah recognized the two hermetic boxes pilled up on the side as well. The one’s she had pizza rests from two days before and a slice of chocolate cake as well.

Her stomach grumbled, but this time much more painfully. Was that feeling way more crippling now, that she was aware there was nothing to eat?! Only a bit of rock frozen chicken and few dumpling she had in the freezer. Hannah grasped her forehead in disbelief.

“What is it?” he even dared to ask after stopping right beside her.

Hannah looked at him with risen eyebrows, not sure if this was some kind of a joke. Or was she just being delusional.

“Did you eat it all? What was in the fridge as well?” she asked while pointing at the mess he left at the table. Realizing that she didn’t like it – left him scratching his nape shamefaced.

“I was too hungry, I guess.” Suga replied and tried to give her that innocent smiles of his, the one he’s been gifting those elder ladies at the market with.

“BUT ALL OF IT?!” Hannah burst out with heated cheeks.

“I’m sorry!” he pulled his palms together, begging for forgiveness. “But didn’t I tell you the fridge was pretty much empty while we were at the market?” he casually added fuel to the fire.

“IT WAS ENOUGH FOR ME!” Hannah grasped her unsatisfied stomach. “What’s more – if I only knew that you had such an appetite…” she huffed and puffed “I wouldn’t have offered you my supplies and probably would’ve put a lock on the fridge!”

Hannah ended and carefully sat on the couch. She hid her face in hands “I’m hungry too~ you know?” she cried out defeated.

Suga grasped her wrist “Then lets go!” he stated.

“Go?! Where? At this hour??” Hannah felt to weak, plus way too lazy to get dressed properly and go out.

“Who’s gonna see us? Those people are either going to be drunk, too absorbed in their outing or night shifts they’re going to.” He assured her.

“I don’t know...” Hannah tried to shake his hand off her wrist.

He realized that and rather forcefully pulled her up. As she was back on her feet – he lead her towards the open balcony door.

“Hey!~ Where are you leading me?” Hannah felt too dumbfounded to understand what he planned to do and pointed at the entrance door to the apartment with one finger.

“Let’s go!” He stopped when both of them were outside. Warm night surrounding the city around. Bright moonlight was lighting the metal railing he easily jumped on.

Hannah looked up at him effortlessly finding balance as if he was some circus performer or gymnast Olympic champion. Now she could see it. The unnatural for a simple human being weightlessness in his movements as he crouched at the railing in front of her.

“Are you going with me?” Suga asked with a hand drawn out at her direction.

Too amazed by the way he looked. With the wind gently caressing his flowing, dark hair and uninterrupted moonlight illumining his posture. Giving it a type of halo, she wasn’t even sure if anyone could not be mesmerized by after seeing.

In a spur of the moment, somehow enchanted by that glistenining in his eyes – she drawn her hand at him.

An extremely high-pitched squeal left as he pulled her up in the air and set off into the dark. She found his neck and put her arms around it while he gently wrapped one hand around her waist and the other lifted the back of her thighs gently.

He kept running through the roofs of neighbor buildings as if it was just some hurdle race for exceptionally fit people. Hannah could already imagine it being a thing in the news. Not knowing why, but she felt tears filling her eyes – sliding off her eyelashes as air brushed through them.

Hannah was glancing around with her face nestled close to his collar bone. His touch did not bother her as much. Having him trespassing in &  out of the borders of her comfort zone ever since appearing in her life did seem to be quite refreshing – Hannah thought.

“Ready?” she heard Suga out of the blue after finally getting used to the amount of dazzling, city lights passing by.

“Huh? For what?” she asked him but instead of a reply, felt his grasp around her tightening. He besot her with a dazzling smile. The one too stunning with how relieved and happy he truly seemed.

Seeing that weakened her defenses.

“Kryptonite~” Hannah mumbled into his collar right before the jump. The ultimate free-fall which she had no idea if they were able to even survive but at the same time never knew could feel so…

... liberating.

Swallowed by the dark, the two of them disappeared in the abyss of the night.

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