“Who are they, Nayeon?”

 

It was a sharp dagger that struck straight through Mina’s heart. She couldn’t believe what she’s hearing. This is not real. With her hands trembling, she took Momo’s hands desperately hiding her stream of tears.

“M-momo? It’s me Mina” she gathers herself positioning herself in front of Nayeon.

Momo’s brows furrowed, confused at the situation and suddenly she felt her head aching.

“I-it hurts” she mumbled, touching her temple that is still wrapped with bandages. They immediately called the nurses to check on Momo.

 

“Please wait outside” one of the nurses told them as the doctors also arrived at the room.

Mina stood lifeless in front of the door. The words keep echoing in her head like a broken record. It was just like yesterday when they are determined to live their life together in a far away place. They were inseparable, they were unbreakable. Who are they, Nayeon? With the last ripple of the words in her mess of a mind, she broke down in tears, collapsing on the floor as she felt her knees very weak.

The doctors went outside after giving Momo pills to keep her sedated.

“What happened to her?” Nayeon asked the doctor. The doctor heaved a heavy sigh before revealing the situation.

“Ms. Hirai Momo has retrograde amnesia, which explains why she couldn’t remember recent memories prior to her accident, she may only remember events from the past or years ago. This is caused by the traumatic head injury she got from the accident. I hope you could help her, don’t pressure her to remember the things she couldn’t remember as it will cause her much more pain. There is no known treatment for this, and it may last for years or worse, for a lifetime.” The doctor felt sorry for delivering the news. Everyone is crestfallen but Mina took the hardest blow. Depression is an understatement to what she’s feeling now, she feels her world is falling apart and her spirit is crushed.

Mina tucked her knees, crying silently as she buried her face on her knees. What the doctor said just adds up to the weight of her now frail heart. Everything is just too much to swallow. Why does it have to be our memories that are gone? Does the world really don't want us to be together?

 

++

 

Nayeon was summoned by the police officers, since she’s the only one that was in her sound mind to receive their information.

They are now in a closed room of the hospital and one of the investigators took his mobile phone to show her something.

“Momo’s accident was not an accident. It was an attempted murder” the man initiated. Looking at her with curious eyes.

“There were no leads or any clues as of the moment, but we’re sure, that one way or the other, that the suspect belonged to the upper class with the car that was used. As of date, we couldn’t identify to whom it belonged. We just wanted your inputs on your relationship with Momo”

Nayeon suddenly felt chills all over, and one man popped out of her mind. Hyunbin?

But she knew Hyunbin has an alibi that night as she saw him appear on a live event that night. It wasn’t him.

 

She knows she doesn’t have enough information but she feels that Mina’s family is the one who wanted to get rid of Momo with all the circumstances they are in. With Momo around, the engagement plan will be in vain.

 

++

 

“I’ll take Momo back” Nayeon decided and Mina peered in disbelief at the statement.

“Who gave you the right to just do what you want?” The younger girl rebuts as she’s not ready to hand Momo over. They are outside Momo’s room, Sana and the gang already went home.

“So you’re still clueless, huh?”

Mina couldn’t understand what the girl was implying.

“Did you know that what happened to Momo was not an accident? Did you know that your family is the main culprit in all this mess? Now, do you think you have the right to be beside her, when the reason why she’s hurt might be because of YOUR family?!” Nayeon is sure. Though the investigation is not yet final, everything just directs to Mina’s family.

Then it hit her hard. Mina felt closing up with the realization. She couldn’t respond. She couldn’t even defend her family or herself. Nayeon could be right. Maybe, she’s the one who really caused all of this. Because of her desire to be happy, Momo’s wellbeing was sacrificed.

 

“I can take care of her, and she only remembers me. Seeing you might give her a hard time so please, do the honor of leaving now. That’s the least you can do to her Mina, you being around her might put her in more danger” Nayeon added.

It was like a curse. Being a Myoui really is a curse. She should have known better before someone so dear to her suffered. But it all happened, and she felt her chest tighten at the realization. She should’ve not involved herself with Momo from the very start if she couldn’t even fight for her or protect her from her family. She should have not pushed herself in the singer’s life if she will just put her life at risk. She felt defeated, by fate.

She gave in to Nayeon’s wish. She left, out of the hospital, or rather, out of Momo’s life.

 

++

 

“Nayeon, did I forget a lot of things? I mean, what happened after your auditions?” Momo is curious, she heard that she has retrograde amnesia and she’s sure there were lapses with her memories.

“N-no not really, w-well, I was accepted in the lead role for the movie After Moon. And you were busy writing songs, doing gigs here and there” she partially lied.

“I see, I’m glad” Momo mumbled.

“What about the people who are with you when I wake up, do you know them? Do I know them, perhaps?” She inquired.

“T-they just happened to be your acquaintances in your gig and common friends” Nayeon couldn’t count how many times she had lied. Momo just nodded, trying to absorb everything the older girl was confirming.

 

Nayeon is now packing Momo’s things, and today she’ll be discharged from the hospital.

Momo felt strange being with Nayeon now, maybe because of the pills she’s been taking. But she could only trust the girl, why wouldn’t she, she’s her girlfriend after all, right? She followed the girl’s tracks as they rode a cab.

She was quiet the whole ride, staring blankly at the leafless trees manifesting that the spring is around the corner. Her mind drifted to a series of thoughts. Losing some of your memories is strange. It’s like showing up for a movie after it’s started. She’s sure she missed something. She doesn’t know if it’s important or not. She wanted to just go with the flow and do her best to lose herself in the story and hope that the gaps don’t matter. Later, she just can look it up, or someone will remind her, or maybe it’s perfectly fine to not know.

 

++

 

“Why are we here?” Momo was surprised. They are now at the front of Nayeon’s new apartment.

“We moved in this place Momo” she lied again. She already brought Momo’s things from her old apartment to this place before she brought the singer here. She’s afraid that her memories will come back if they go to their old apartment.

The place feels foreign to Momo, maybe because she’s forgotten this place, she thought.

 

Entering the house, she roams around every corner and every room, nothing’s familiar for her.

“Where’s my guitar?” Momo suddenly looks for an important piece of her life.

Nayeon felt a lump on , the thing is, she threw the guitar that Momo’s currently using since she felt that it was Mina’s gift with how expensive it looked. She gave her the old one she’s used before.

“Here, you haven’t replaced it since.” she said.

“Really?” Momo took the guitar and positioned it in front of her, strumming a chord. Momo noticed there was a crack that didn’t look recent, also the strings don't look like being used often. But she shrugged it off, she didn't want to confuse her head with those simple things and accepted the truth from Nayeon.

 

Nayeon was busy fixing Momo’s things in their cabinet. Momo scoots closer to the girl.

“Are those my things?” She asked and Nayeon was a bit startled at their closeness. She felt her face flushed, it was a long time ago when they used to be this close. It’s as if she’s back to their old ways where Momo doesn’t know the things she did.

“Ahh yes, I’m just organizing these” she nervously said. Momo suddenly took an item from her folded clothes.

“This looks expensive” the singer wrapped the red scarf around her neck. She felt cozy wearing those. Nayeon instantly diverted the topic.

“Momo—, I know you’re hungry, come, let’s eat first” she dragged the girl towards the kitchen.

 

++

 

Mina locked herself up in her room. It’s been days since she last saw Momo and everyday feels like hell. She was miserable. If only she could be reborn from a more common family. If only she met Momo in some other circumstances. Maybe it wouldn’t have led to this. She’s not sure when her heart will stop aching. Maybe if she could just bury her feelings and wake up feeling nothing. Maybe this is for the best. Mina with Momo doesn’t exist. Me being around Momo would put her in danger. I should just accept my fate.

 

Suddenly a knock stopped her from her train of thoughts. Then a familiar man entered her room looking worried.

“Mina, I just heard what happened. Are you okay?” Jin-young asked, concerned about Mina’s feelings. There was a momentary silence. Mina didn’t know how to respond to those kinds of questions. Of course, she’s not okay. But what would change if she answered.

“Jin-young, please bring me somewhere”

 

Mina decided to go for a stroll. It wasn’t just a normal walk in a park or something. For her, it held a deeper meaning when she walked uphill towards their favorite spot. It was like every memory they made in this special place was erased.

She stopped walking when they reached the top where you can see the beauty of Seoul and the beautiful sky that embraced the city. She looked up, reminiscing all the memories she had with the singer. She held her breath as her heart started to break. She couldn’t help but to cry thinking about the girl. Maybe it was all a beautiful dream, meeting Momo, falling in love with her. Maybe she’s just a part of her imagination and now she’s back on her feet to face the reality of being a Myoui. With the last tear that escaped her eyes, she wished.

Be happy, Momo. Goodbye.

 

++

 

Momo felt her heart suddenly tighten without any reason. Like a sharp pain when you lose someone dear to you. Leaving an empty void in your heart. She couldn’t describe the feeling. It felt like something important was missing.

 

She looked intently at the girl beside her, like finding the answers on her face. There was nothing, the pain in her heart still lingers. Why does my heart feel so empty? Am I doing things right? Am I missing something important?

She shook her head, erasing the unwanted stir of emotions she’s feeling now. She wanted to believe that what she has now is what’s important. This is her happiness. This was her definition of contentment. Nayeon was and will always be her rock.

She’s trying to continue what she believed where she left off, she’s writing songs again, trying to be as successful as Nayeon.

“Nayeon, did I already submit songs to producers?” Momo inquired, but Nayeon felt her cold sweat covered her body with the question. She tried to hide her uneasiness and gulped.

“Y-yes you did but you can rest with writing songs for now, uhm, you should focus more on your recovery Momoring” she smiled, trying to disguise her uneasiness.

 

++

 

“I missed my best bud.” Jeongyeon uttered. They just finished their performance and now they are sitting in their usual spot, with Sana.

“Me too” the drummer said, feeling his heart sank at the realization that two of their friends could no longer hang out with them.

“I’m more worried about Mina” Sana knew that her best friend was hit the hardest when Momo lost her memories. She is devastated. Momo was Mina’s world. She was her strength, her everything. And not remembering her is like throwing away their sacrifices, their promises. Sana has witnessed some of those. And she just feels bad that it has come to this point where everything they’ve fought for was all in vain.

“What about Mina?” They curiously asked.

“She’s giving in to her father’s wishes. I mean, I understand, there’s no point in retaliating now that Momo couldn’t remember her” Sana thought that’s the reason why Mina submits to her father’s plan. Little did she know there's a deeper and more severe reason for that.

 

++

 

It was like the hands of fate were all in favor of Jin-young’s plan. Mina is now at the office, sitting across from her in this conference table waiting for Mr. Myoui to arrive.

With a creak of the office door, the president appears.

 

“Good morning Mr. President” Jin-young bowed his head in respect and Mr. Myoui took a seat at the front.

Mina also took a bow and sat right after. She didn’t say anything.

 

“So starting today, Mina, you’ll be assigned to be a General Manager, I’m glad you are finally choosing the right path” Mr. Myoui said, feeling pleasant that her daughter is now doing what she needed to do.

Mina felt her heart constricts at the statement. It was like telling her that being miserable is the right choice. Like, she hasn’t even a choice to begin with. She was born to be miserable, bearing this curse.

“I will do my best, Mr. President” she faked a smile. She needed to do this. So Momo will be spared. All the circumstances point to her father as the main culprit. She doesn’t want to mess with someone this powerful to hurt her dearest Momo. Even though the girl doesn’t remember her, even though it kills her inside, she wanted Momo to live happily. Also, keeping her father at check might also lead her to the truth about Momo’s case.

I will find the truth no matter what.

 

++

 

Being the General Manager is a heavy responsibility and Mina felt the weight of her position. But maybe it wasn’t bad at all when it keeps her mind busy with work and occupied so she will be free from constant agony.

Jin-young suddenly visits her office carrying a boxed dinner.

“I see you haven’t eaten your dinner, here, I bought us some” he stated positioning himself at the front of Mina’s desk. Mina didn’t move a muscle, she continued what she’s doing without even looking at him.

“Why are you doing this? I thought you hated this?” He suddenly became curious by Mina’s decision to submit to his dad’s plan.

“Yes I do hate this, but do I have a choice to begin with?” She rebuts and he was shut off by the statement.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you that” he clicked his tongue. Trying to get rid of the heavy atmosphere around them, he unboxed the meals and gave them to Mina.

“Here, you should eat first. We don’t want our General Manager to have an empty stomach while doing the reports.”

“I’m not hungry, thanks” she abruptly said, not wanting to be disturbed. Jin-young was out of his mind when the next question slipped his mouth.

“Do you miss her? Momo?”

 

Mina suddenly stopped what she’s doing with the mention of her name. It was still hard, she thought she did her best to not disintegrate at the mention of Momo’s name. But all of her facade came falling apart with just that question and her resolve to be strong came crashing in front of her.

She felt dry up as she tried to swallow hard.

“Please mind your own business” she regained her composure and returned to what she’s doing.

Jin-young saw Mina’s eyes, they were wet, and red.

You’re still crying every night, aren’t you? Your eyes don’t lie.

 

++

 

Part of Mina’s job is to pay an ocular inspection or a corporate visit on one of their malls. Walking towards the entrance, her eyes couldn’t deny what she saw. It was Momo, and she’s with Nayeon, arms linked with each other. She felt her heart drop seeing the one she loved the most, the one she wanted to spend her lifetime with, doesn’t even know she existed.

If she could, she would snatch Momo away from Nayeon. But she couldn’t. The circumstances wouldn’t allow them. Just seeing Momo happy should be enough for her. She wanted to believe that it’s the best for her. But her heart hurts like hell to see Momo happy with someone else. She knows she’s being selfish but it was really painful to watch.

With all these emotions, she decided to cancel her visit. She turned her back, she wanted to leave this place immediately as she felt suffocated. She couldn’t keep her tears from falling as she entered her car and released her grief.

 

At the back of her mind, she wanted Momo to remember her. She wanted to cry for her name. She wanted to tell her she loves her so much that it hurts. It hurts that she couldn’t do anything for her. It hurts that she’s the reason why this all happened. She wanted to apologize. There were too many unsaid words. But all she could do was cry in silence, alone.

 

Her heartache led her to this bar. She wanted to wash down her sorrow with bottles of liquor. She wanted to believe that being wasted would erase the pain that’s been piling up in her heart. Sometimes she just wanted to feel numb. She gulped a shot, after another shot and another shot. She couldn’t count how many glasses she drank, but she couldn’t stop.

 

++

 

Momo went to the bar where she used to work about a year ago. She wanted to perform and work here again since she doesn’t have a source of income as of the moment and she doesn’t want to burden Nayeon to keep paying for her.

It feels home. This is the bar she’s very familiar with, it may be small but the owner is very kind.

“We’re glad you’ll be working again with us Momo. Our customers have dropped since you stopped working here” the owner said, praising her.

“Thank you, Nichkhun for accepting me again, I’ll work hard I promise” Momo felt relieved that she can continue working here again after ages.

“No worries, you can start tomorrow if you want or when you’re ready. For now, you can enjoy the night and drink, it’s on me. Order anything you want” Nichkhun said gleefully.

Momo took the offer and she wandered around the familiar place, looking for a seat. She settled to a corner of the long bar table as she comfortably sat at one of the high chairs.

There were lots of people drinking tonight. Most of them are old men, but there were a few problematic teenagers as well, indulging themselves to this intoxicating ambience of darkness.

It wasn’t new to Momo, this kind of place is her second home. She’s used to people smelling alcohol here and there. People passing out because of drunkenness, and people fighting due to alcohol’s influence.

Her eyes suddenly spotted a woman, not just a woman, but a very attractive woman in her corporate attire. She looks familiar, she thought. I think I’ve seen her in the hospital. The girl is emptying every bottle of beer in her bucket. She looked so depressed, and lonely.

Momo’s eyes were glued to this girl. In a moment, two old men approached the girl but the girl didn’t mind them, still draining even the last drop of her beer. Momo felt her finger twitch at the sight of those two filthy guys that approached the defenseless girl. She couldn’t sit still watching the malicious eyes of the guys staring at her. When one of them took advantage of the drunk girl as he pressed her dirty hands on her waist, Momo lost it.

She hurriedly ran towards them and grabbed the man’s collar dragging him and threw him on the floor. The people around them were shocked at the sudden commotion and Momo didn’t stop her urge to throw punches to this corrupt and filthy man. She almost smashed his face. She didn’t know what’s gotten into her but she feels her rage was too high with the sight of the girl being taken advantage of.

Even with the alcohol in her system, Mina felt her mind come back to its senses and her heart skipped a beat when she saw Momo appear in front of her and fight the man who is attempting to do nasty things to her. Why do you always appear in the most unexpected way? The older girl is now dragging her outside the bar, holding her arms, her back facing her. It felt like their first encounter.

They are now outside across the street and Momo pants hard in exhaustion with the earlier scrimmage. She’s still holding Mina’s hands and immediately releases them upon the realization.

Momo couldn’t describe what she’s feeling right now. Looking straight into the girl’s eyes makes her uncomfortable. She looked away but her heart is still restless.

Who are you, really?

 

Momo remembers the girl, she’s the one inside the hospital room the moment she opened her eyes. “She’s just an acquaintance”. Nayeon’s statement echoed in her head. She wanted to believe that that’s just the case but why does it feel otherwise. Why does this girl’s eyes feel like looking into her soul?

“You don’t belong in this kind of place. You should be more careful”

Momo managed to say, still not having eye contact as she’s afraid to be lost in her eyes.

Mina was speechless, frozen on her feet. She has lots of things to say. She wanted to hug her, to kiss her as she missed everything about Momo. But she couldn’t. The tears escaped her eyes trying to suppress her pent up emotions. But the effect of alcohol kicked in, and the words came out voluntarily.

“Do you really not remember me?” Mina said, more like begging.

Momo felt a sharp pain in her heart, like chains gripping her insides and she could barely breathe. The question felt like a plea. But she couldn’t bring herself to even describe what she’s feeling.

“You’re an acquaintance, as far as I know…” Momo tried to hide the strange feeling she’s getting when around this girl.

“R-right. I am just an acquaintance, nothing more, nothing less. I’m sorry for the trouble and thank you for saving me.” Mina immediately hails a cab trying to escape the uncomfortable atmosphere caused by her lack of self-control. I shouldn’t have asked that. What am I thinking?

She’s torn between revealing herself to Momo, her heart desires to be open to her. Her inner self wanted Momo to remember everything. But when reality suddenly kicks in, she is brought back to her senses, her fears of losing Momo completely resurfaces.

Pull yourself together, Mina. She reminded herself, but a tear escaped her eyes.

 

++

 

Momo should be content, she used to be happy with only the two of them together, she and Nayeon. But why does she feel like something’s not right. Why does she feel suffocated being with the girl who is her world? Everything just feels absurd.

Nayeon is happy, her eyes are glowing everytime it catches her stare. Her soft touch doesn’t feel the same anymore. She feels terrible. She couldn’t deny that ever since this accident, she’s not her usual self like she imagined it to be. She thought it’s okay to be lost in the middle. But her heart is longing for something else.

 

“Nayeon, did I cheat?” Her curiosity has been invading her mind and she couldn’t help but to ask.

 

Nayeon suddenly felt chills, the memories of their messy break up took over her head, feeling disgusted by herself. Momo didn’t cheat, but she did. She cheated on her when she became selfish. But now, she’s trying to pick up the pieces back and when Momo’s memories are lost, she feels like it was fate that led them back to this. Like the heavens were at her side that it happened that she could reset her life back to how it was. Now, this question stirred the feelings that she tried so hard to bury. Like Momo’s been digging up the past.

 

“H-how can you say that? Of course, you didn’t.” Nayeon felt her insides flipping with just the word ‘cheat’.

“Nayeon, I don’t think I am the same person, I feel like I have cheated on you between the gaps of my memories that I couldn’t remember. I feel like my heart is too far away from you now” Momo bravely expressed what she’s feeling at the moment. She doesn’t want to hurt the girl but she wants to be fair in telling her what’s inside her heart and mind.

“I-it’s okay Momo, I understand, you don’t have to push yourself to be the same person. Just be yourself and I will always be here” Nayeon assured but she couldn’t deny the sound of her heart breaking when the singer said those things. She knew that she lost the girl a long time ago, but she’s still hopeful that things will work out just fine.

Nayeon hugged her, and her touch felt foreign in her skin. She used to love this warmth, but now it doesn't. There are so many questions in her mind, but the answers are so few. All she knows is that she doesn’t love Nayeon like before.

 

++

 

Time flies so fast, Momo is now back on track with her passion in creating music. With an optimistic mindset, she’s now pushing her luck to submit her music to one of the top entertainment and music companies.

I can do this.

She took a mental note to keep her composure strong. She has to be brave. It feels like the first time she’s submitting songs to producers but the nervousness is familiar.

Stepping inside the building made her stomach flip upside down. But her resolve is stronger. She made her research that this company is taking good care of their artists and will really give them enough exposure to build their name. She really hopes that they can consider accepting her talent.

“Ms. Hirai, you can come inside” the secretary guided her towards the office of the music producer.

Entering the office, it feels warm. Not intimidating at all and she could feel a sense of serenity, her nerves suddenly calmed down with the approachable aura of the man.

“Good morning” Momo bowed after greeting him and the man stood up raising his hand for a handshake.

 

“Good morning, I’m Ok Taecyeon, nice to meet you, Hirai Momo?” The man gave her a kind smile and she immediately took his hand.

“Y-yes, I’m Hirai Momo” she confirmed. Taecyeon pointed his hand towards the empty seat in front of him, signaling for Momo to take her seat.

The singer understood the gesture and took the offer. She handed him the memory card that contains her songs. Taecyeon took it and started to listen to them intently.

Suddenly, the look on Taecyeon’s face brightened. He snapped his fingers as something popped up in his mind.

“This is your voice right?” He reconfirmed and Momo nodded, dumbfounded about his sudden change of mood, but in a positive way.

“Oh my goodness, I finally found the mysterious singer!” He cheerfully said. Momo couldn’t keep up with the sudden turn of events, she’s confused.

“Sorry, I was just as surprised as you. I’ve been looking for the owner of that voice. An anonymous person emailed me a long time ago. It contains a very beautiful song, but there was no information about the sender or the singer so I was lost at that point. Don’t you remember this song?” Taecyeon narrated as he played the song on his laptop on loudspeaker.

Be my only one.

The name I want to call you by.

Let's hold hands and walk along.

On rainy nights,

Or on lonely daytimes,

Please color me with your shiny lights

I’ll do better when

You promise me we'll stay together…

Momo hears her heart break as the song resonates in her mind. She’s sure it was her voice, she felt that this song was so meaningful to her. Fragments of that moment has been flashing in his mind, the blinding lights of the bar, the people listening to her while singing, she can see two people beside her that looked like her bandmates, and she’s sure there was a girl whom the song is directed to, but her mind fail her to remember everything. But the feelings are there, she was swept off her feet while listening to her own song that she didn’t notice that a tear escaped her eyes.

“Are you okay?” The producer asked, his brows furrowed with concern.

“S-sorry I was just a bit sensitive these days. Y-yes that was my voice” Momo wiped her tears and pulled herself together.

“Ah, I see. Anyways, I want you to work with our team. I can see you have a bright future with your talent.” Taecyeon commended.

 

“Thank you very much for trusting me, I will work hard. Please take care of me” she bowed as the producer tapped her shoulder in acknowledgement.

Momo was still disoriented with all that’s happening. She’s still not over the fact that she’s composed music for someone who she’s sure is not Nayeon. Suddenly a face flashed in her memory, it was the girl that she saw at the bar whom Nayeon said was an acquaintance, as far as she knows her name is Mina, remembering the scene at the hospital. Was it her? But why?

 

++

 

Momo was about to leave the building premises but a man bumped her on her way towards the glass door.

“Sorry” the man in a suit said hurriedly but when he glanced at her, she felt shivers run through her spine. Why am I feeling these goosebumps?

 

The man was evidently surprised as well. But he kept his composure at check and looked away. Suddenly a uniformed personnel approached him.

“Mr. Jin-young, you left this in your car”

Jin-young? Do I know him? It sounded so familiar. What is this strange feeling? Like I am very wary around this man.

 

Momo has unlimited questions but unanswered. She dismissed the thought but the uneasiness still lingers.

 

++

 

It was a busy day as usual for Mina, she just had a meeting with one of their holding companies under the Myoui Inc. umbrella which is the OKT Entertainment Corporation. The meeting was hectic but it turned out well when the music director said that they have signed a new artist on their label. It wasn’t new since every now and then they are signing artists on a regular basis. But not everyone can become successful, business is just like that, no risk, no return.

Entering her car, her phone suddenly rang.

“Yes, Jin-young?”

“Are you done with the meeting?” Jin-young asked as he was also done with his appointments.

“Yes, I just finished. Why?”

“Why don’t we go out for dinner, I’ll book a nice place now” he suggested. Mina isn’t fond of eating outside lately but maybe it wasn’t that bad of an idea just this once.

“Sure, just send me the address and let’s meet there”

 

++

 

“I said it’s okay, we can celebrate at home” Momo was hesitant about Nayeon's idea of eating at a fancy restaurant to celebrate being signed by the OKT Entertainment Corp.

“Please— I just want to treat you to a nice meal. And it wasn’t just a corporation, it was OKT! You should be proud!” Nayeon gleefully said, proud of her girlfriend’s achievements. Momo sighed in defeat.

“Okay, I give in, but just this once, and I’ll treat you next time.” Momo smiled and pats Nayeon’s head. She couldn’t deny that Nayeon’s presence has helped her to recover faster, she’s been taking care of her and is always beside her through ups and downs. But these past few days, she’s been indifferent, she could no longer feel the love she used to feel for the girl.

 

They are now inside this lavish restaurant, fortunately, she was dressed fine, thanks to Nayeon who personally picked her clothes, she’s not out of place.

When Nayeon is talking to the waiter, Momo’s eyes travel around and she can't help but notice a familiar girl walking towards the entrance. She was eye-catching with her very elegant aura. It was Mina.

“Momo? Momo?” Nayeon has been calling her but she was lost in her own world with the sight of the girl who just entered the restaurant.

“S-sorry, what is it?”

“I said, you wouldn’t mind eating a steak?” Nayeon asked again.

“Steak is okay” she said but her eyes are still following the girl that already had piqued her interest. Ever since their encounter at the bar, the girl has been invading her confused mind. Are you really just an acquaintance?

 

In a moment, a man enters the premises. He’s the man I bumped into in OKT Entertainment. Momo managed to recall where he saw the man and the strange feeling came creeping up inside of her again. And when the man walked towards Mina’s direction, she felt disheartened. She felt her heart drop seeing the girl smile a little at his appearance.

 

++

 

Mina saw Jin-young enter the restaurant and when he waved his hand, she smiled a little. But her peripheral vision saw the person she’s been wanting to forget and to move on from. Momo? And she’s with Nayeon. Her smile immediately went away at the sight. But she couldn’t take her eyes off of her as she's talking with Nayeon. Nayeon is all over Momo, her arms caressing Momo’s arms and the singer is just accepting the affection. In a moment, Nayeon smacked Momo’s lips. Momo was startled by the act, but her eyes met Mina’s, staring at her while her lips were against Nayeon’s.

They were looking at each other. Lost in their own worlds. But Mina broke eye contact as she couldn’t stand seeing them intimate.

She cleared and excused herself from Jin-young. She doesn’t want anyone to see her tears as she’s sure they will fall anytime.

With a hurried step, she went to the washroom. She feels suffocated. Why do you always appear at the most random places? Why do you always make it hard for me?

Mina thought she’s strong enough. Everyday was a battle for her, and it made her stronger than before. But seeing the person whom her heart was longing for, all her resolve instantly crumbled in front of her eyes.

She harshly wiped the tears that escaped her eyes. She has to be strong. With a look in the mirror, she pulls herself together.

 

Returning to her seat, her eyes always find Momo. And it makes her uncomfortable when Momo’s eyes are glued to her, like finding the answers in her eyes. She’s not wrong though, Momo is really interested in her.

 

Her agony came to end when the two stood up, leaving the place. She felt her lungs were able to breathe again. Jin-young saw her troubles through her actions.

“Is there a problem?” He asked and Mina shook her head.

Jin-young tried so hard to keep up with Mina’s wall all this time, and this is his first step to keeping her comfortable again around him.

“You know, I am still your friend. You can always lean on me when things get rough” he said, his eyes looking at Mina with concern.

Mina felt relieved at the statement, all this time, she feels she’s alone. She always has this wall to keep her from getting hurt further, she’s been wounded enough, and a little trigger to her frail heart may lead her to break down.

“Thanks, Jin-young” she acknowledged his offer.

 

++

 

Momo’s schedules are not yet final in OKT Entertainment so she still has a few days to perform in the bar which Nichkhun owned. Now, she’s situated in front, singing some of the songs she composed. It was the only thing that’s permanent, performing has always been her comfort zone.

 

An applause ended her performance. When she was about to take her seat, she saw Mina again. She wasn’t sure why they always end up seeing each other more often. But she doesn’t hate it, it’s like fate wanting them to meet unexpectedly.

 

Lately, Mina always finds comfort in drinking. It wasn’t like her at all but these past few days have been harder. When Momo’s around, she feels her heart always about to explode. And today is no different. She’s been going around these kinds of places and it just happened that this place was near where her meeting was held earlier.

 

It was already past midnight and Mina is still there. Momo felt this strong sense of responsibility, she assumes, and stopped Mina’s arms to drink further.

“Stop drinking, you’ve drank way too much than you can handle” Momo said, still holding the girl.

Mina, in a not so sober state, chuckled with the statement.

“How did you know?” And she stared into Momo’s eyes.

Momo felt the words were deeper than they seemed. But she swallowed and kept her calm.

“Let’s go, you’re just putting yourself in danger.” Momo said, referring to the last incident that can happen again with the girl being defenseless when drunk.

“Why do you care? Just leave me alone” she retorted but Momo isn’t the one to give up. She grabbed her and pulled her outside the bar. Mina tried to pull away but Momo was stronger and she managed to take her out.

Mina swats her hands releasing from the grip and the singer jolted her head to look at Mina who is not really stable on her feet. You’re drunk.

Momo is intently looking at her eyes, like finding the gaps on this bizarre connection with the girl. She feels like there are underlying memories that the girl is trying to keep.

“Why do I feel like you are intentionally avoiding me?” Momo asked, voicing what she’s feeling. She’s now staring at the dark orbs of the younger girl like solving the labyrinth of truth.

 

Before Mina could answer, the rain started to fall, and it showered. The singer instantly took Mina’s hands and ran towards the nearest waiting shed. They were literally soaked. It doesn’t look like the rain will stop soon.

 

“Did you bring your car?” Momo asked and Mina shook her head.

“I don’t think the rain will stop soon, and we might catch a cold if we stay here longer. Let’s just check in there” Momo pointed to the hotel nearby.

 

Mina felt things just happened so quickly and she lost track of the sequence of events. Now, she’s standing on her feet inside the hotel room with only a queen sized bed.

“They don’t have extra rooms since we didn’t book ahead, so we have to settle in this room.” Momo explained as she’s now looking at the cabinet to find some towels.

“Here, you can use the shower first” the singer handed her the towel and robe and Momo sat at the small chair beside the coffee table, drying herself with the towel while waiting for her turn.

Mina snapped out of her thoughts and quickly entered the shower. Her mind was a bit hazy with the alcohol in her system but when she felt the warm water against her bare skin, she sobered up a little.

She couldn’t believe that she’s all alone with Momo now in this tiny room. And it freaks her out that she might spill what’s been on her mind with her presence. She’s afraid that she might give in to her own desires and everything she’s worked up for will be in vain and the cycle will repeat. She couldn’t erase the fact that she’s a Myoui, that she’s supposed to be doing what she's been asked to do in order for Momo to live peacefully.

Realizing that she’s been inside for too long and Momo might be freezing outside, she ended her train of thoughts to finish at once.

Wearing the robe, she went outside and gestured to the singer that she could take her shower. When Momo entered the shower, she took a seat on the bed, her hands trembling. Why am I feeling so restless?

 

She heaved a heavy sigh, wishing that at the release, all her panic would be gone. But when Momo stepped outside the shower wearing only her robe, Mina lost her calm. Little did Mina know, Momo’s been fighting her own battles inside her head. Ever since their encounter at the bar, Mina’s been running through the singer’s head. She’s unsure why she’s so attracted to this girl. It feels wrong, since she’s with Nayeon, but at the same time, it feels right.

 

To clear away this heavy atmosphere around them, Momo laid at the other side of the bed, positioning to sleep.

“I’m going to sleep, don’t worry I won’t take up that much space” Momo said referring to the spare bed space for the younger girl.

Mina was glued to her sitting position, and she saw Momo closed her eyes, drifting to sleep. She couldn’t help but to stare at her features, she missed this closeness. She missed seeing Momo this up close, like memorizing every part of her that never really left her consciousness. Momo is still free-loading in her heart rent-free and it drives her crazy. She missed her eyes that used to be looking at her with warmth, her nose that used to tickle her everytime Momo buried them in her nape. Her lips, those lips that make her whole world turn upside down.

What would it feel like again? Your lips against mine. Mina failed to control herself as she’s now leaning closer to the singer. In a heartbeat, she pressed her lips against Momo’s, her eyes shut closed at the contact. It felt right, her body tingles at the contact, feeling all her heart beat raising. She missed this so much that she couldn’t help but to tear up.

Breaking the contact, she was shocked when she opened her eyes and saw Momo’s eyes were open, looking at her with eagerness. The singer uttered.

“Don’t stop.”

 

++