Kyungsoo's POV 

It was December 31 of 2018 and we,  EXO along with our families were in the dorm celebrating for the upcoming New Year with foods just enough for us. 

"It's going to be 2019 in less than an hour and I would just like to say how happy I am to spend my 2018 with you guys, EXO. It has been a memorable year and let's make 2019 more memorable.  EXO SARANGHAJA!!" Suho, our leader, shouted.

"EXO SARANGHAJA!!", we shouted back while I looked every single one of them, smiling, feeling grateful to have such loving and caring members and families especially ........
to the person I longed for how many years. 

I was happy.  Really. 

I didn't know this happiness would replace with great amount of sadness the next day.

[BREAKING] Exo's Kai Rumored To Be Dating Blackpink's Jennie

I just looked at my phone and was blinking, praying that it was just a dream but it was not. The article was real. Their pictures were real.  Everything was real.  

And the next thing I knew, tears were already streaming down my face along with my heart shattering down the floor. Why?  Why do I have to be this hurt? Why do I have to fall in love with someone who will never love me like the way I love him? Just WHY does it have to be HIM? WHY? 

It HURTS.  IT ING HURTS. 

Again. 

 , I almost forgot this already happened before. It was with Krystal and at that time, my love for him was just starting to bloom and it had to be shattered to pieces just like that. I remembered, I didn't come out of my room for a few days with nothing to do but cry the whole night and cry again the moment I open my eyes and remind myself that Jongin, the guy I fell for already has someone to be called his'. I was a bit thankful that we didn't have any schedule and the members thought that I was just resting but little do they know, I was just moping in my room not wanting to interact with one of them especially him. 

And yet, even though this happened, my heart still yearned for his' like mondays yearning for weekends. My heart still calls out his name even with my lips sealed. I still hear his voice even when I cover my ears. 

And honestly,  when they broke up, it gave me a little light,  a little hope that he could see me but NO....  He found someone that wasn't me.  

I was too lost with my thoughts that I didn't hear my door creaking indicating that someone came in, shut it back and locked the door. That someone gave my shoulder a little squeeze telling me he was there beside and when I looked up,  I saw a concerned face looking at me who is obviously breaking down infront. Sehun.  The only person that knows about my romantic feelings to Jongin.  

"hyung.... " he called out with obvious concern in his voice
"I'm so stupid, right?", I sadly laughed a little
"you're not stupid hyung. you're just in love", he sat infront of me and hug me tight while patting my head.  
I didn't know what to do and what to say so I just cried silently in his arms. 

THIS ING HURTS. 
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Author's POV

It was a few days after January 1 that Kyungsoo decide to come out of his room. 

From the moment he read the article,  he refused to come out which Sehun understood and just let him be. He excused to his other hyungs that Kyungsoo was sick and needed to rest. Some wanted to help but he politely refused and insisted on taking care of Kyungsoo which eventually the others agreed on to.  

Kyungsoo was really thankful to Sehun. If it weren't for him, he would've starve for days and still moped around the room. 

But now,  he is determined to move on and not let his world revolve around Jongin. It was a little late when he come out of his room, dressed. He was walking down the street with his beanie and mask on so no one could recognized him. He went on to a cinema and picked a movie not so famous. He then ate at a restaurant all alone looking at other couples walking hand in hand and sighed everytime. When he was finished,  he looked at his watched and decided to go to a playground for an hour or two. He walked with heavy steps leaving the restaurant and went to a playground just across the restau