Chapter 9 - Internal Battle

She couldn’t believe her ears. She still feels like it was a dream. To hear such honest confession from Chawon is a little unbelievable. There’s no way Chaewon would like her that way; as more than a friend.

But her actions prove her words. If Chaewon doesn’t like her that way, why would she kiss her?

Minjoo tosses in her bed, sighing heavily. It’s been hours since Chaewon left and Hyewon, her mom as well as her step father returned, but she can’t stop thinking about the kiss. She’s going so deep into the thought.

The biggest question that really bothers her mind is; does Minjoo actually ever like Chaewon back?

Minjoo has no answer to that. Yes, she sounds like a jerk, but that’s the fact. She could’ve reciprocated the kiss because it was a thrilling moment, not because she instantly liked Chaewon back.

Yujin still owns her mind and heart, somehow. And that’s why it’s complicated.

She turns on her phone’s screen and the clock shows 4.00 am. She’s so screwed. She still has school the next morning yet here she is, still doesn’t get a proper sleep.

Minjoo shifts her position in the bed, turning her back on Hyewon and closes her eyes.

Screw the time and school!

***

She’s already running late for school. It’s too late to regret now. Minjoo literally asked herself for this when she decided to sleep for good only after 4.00 am passed.

The result for her lateness is a detention. The teacher almost can’t let her enter the entrance gate but she almost begs on her knees, breaking the teacher’s cold guard.

It can’t be helped that she shares a class with Chaewon. When she has to raise her hands above her head and stands at the back of the classroom on the teacher’s command, Chaewon shoots her a glance, raising her eyebrow.

Minjoo shrugs from the distant, and focuses on the teacher in front of the classroom although she can barely understand what he’s talking about. Her mind is too busy thinking about how exactly she needs to face Chaewon today.

***

Ahn Yujin runs along the jogging track, the camera follows her movement from the back.

She’s currently filming a revive drink commercial alongside another young male CF star, Ji Hansol. The filming has been going on for many hours already. She’s actually getting too tired to move.

Especially with her mind is all jumbled up and messy. She’s not feeling too well to carry on with the shooting when her brain is in such a critical condition.

The director calls for a break upon seeing Yujin’s poor performance.

Great! Just exactly what she needs.

She ignores his rage and nagging as she goes to rest in one of the armchairs. Yujin sinks her back and closes her eyes to clear her mind and thinking.

Being a star and a famous person seems great, glamorous and wonderful. But the truth is it’s a lonely thing. Yujin loses almost everyone she trusted on, and only a few true close friends remained with her but they aren’t the same.

They aren’t Wonyoung; the person she used to trust and rely on the most.

When they were in middle school, Yujin was already popular and casted to film commercials at such a young age. With her tall height and fine body proportion, they thought casting her as a model wouldn’t be of any harm. Especially that she’s also really athletic.

Jang Wonyoung, the girl she dated in school didn’t do sports actively like her so she wasn’t as popular as Yujin. But once Yujin went to her filming site, Wonyoung would keep her company and pretended to be her manager for the day.

It went like that for a while and Yujin found it lovely that her girlfriend was with her the entire time. She could never get bored of the girl. Even during a break from filming, Yujin found herself continuously staring at her gorgeous girlfriend, gawking at her beauty. Wonyoung was her light, her air, and her everything. She couldn’t imagine what she’d do without her.

But fate was really playing with her; when one day the director that used to cast her for commercials suddenly became more interested in Wonyoung, since the girl literally “grew up” and became prettier in front of him because she’d always be at the filming site for Yujin almost everyday.

Wonyoung was a tall kid, taller than Yujin even, and you could say there were no other kids her age that would match to her beauty, even Yujin. So this one day, he started offering Wonyoung to be a part of his casts and join the rookie star clique, she suddenly rose and became a lot more famous.

That one time Wonyoung shot a “party” commercial with two boys and had to act affectionate and lovey-dovey with them, Yujin exploded.

“CHOOSE; THE BOYS OR ME?!”

“What the hell are you talking about, Ahn Yujin?!”

“HOW COULD I ACT FINE WHEN YOU HELD HANDS AND HAD TO KISS HIM IN FRONT OF ME?!”

“IT WAS JUST A PRETENSE- GOSH I NEVER EVER KISSED HIM!”

“ONCE YOU GROW UP AND GO TO HIGH SCHOOL THE DIRECTOR WILL TELL YOU TO KISS FOR REAL! I DON’T CARE; QUIT THE INDUSTRY OR YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN!”

It was a huge fuss. Yujin was losing control of her temper and Wonyoung almost lost her mind. In the end, instead of making things right, the both of them avoided each other and they couldn’t reach to a mutual agreement. They broke up, parted and separated by nature.

Wonyoung eventually quitted after filming her last accepted commercial offer three months and a half later, only for Yujin to call off their relationship completely because she had started to see another girl for a few days and hoped Wonyoung could remain as her best friend instead.

The female lead slowly opens her eyelids after feeling a few droplets from her eyes and her cheeks wet with her tears. She can’t tell if she ever regretted doing that to Wonyoung, because meeting and dating Minjoo are also one of the best things she had ever experienced too in her 18 years old of life.

She loved Minjoo. She really did. When Yujin first saw Minjoo’s goddes-like photos in the dating apps, she knew she fell in love at first sight.

However, with Wonyoung still lingering around her like an Earth rotates around the Sun, is not easy. The girl sticks with her anywhere, every time. It’s hard to resist her.  She makes Yujin’s heart shaking.

And she loses her direction of life.

***

“Minjoo, wait!”

Chaewon is chasing after Minjoo who seems to be avoiding her for the whole day on purpose. She’s wondering if the girl has any regret about the kiss, thus this reaction.

Minjoo is indeed running away from her, but it seems like Chaewon won’t give up anytime soon. When she reaches the school gate, she’s surprised that Chaewon has already caught up to her pace and now closing the distance. She doesn’t know the older girl can be quite athletic. Impressive!

Chaewon seizes her wrist on impulse and Minjoo has to reluctantly halts her fast steps. The both of them are catching their breath as the silence engulfs them for a brief moment.

“Why are you running away?” Chaewon asked, panting. She really used all her strength and took long leaps just so she could catch Minjoo on time. Talk about the power of love.

“W-Why are you chasing me?” Minjoo is seriously bad at hiding her emotion. The look on her face, the language of her body and the exaggeration in her voice. There’s no way Chaewon would have believed Minjoo wasn’t running away from her.

“You avoided me. I’m hurt.”

Minjoo instantly glances up and locks eyes with Chaewon’s, only to see the older girl was telling the truth. The reflection from her eyes cannot possibly deceive her emotions.

“I’m sorry,” she said, lowering her head down. Shs truly feels sorry for hurting the precious child.

Kim Chaewon is the precious child.

“Did you leave Hiichan just to chase after me?” She changes the topic, not necessarily to evade from the real thing, but it’s because she genuinely cares about the mochi.

Okay, that’s slightly a lie. Minjoo did mention Hitomi because she wants to delay the time from talking about their feelings.

“Hitomi already left way before me. She’s walking home with Miu, Nako, Moe and Wonyoung.”

It’s honestly no surprise for her. All of them already acquainted closely before Minjoo came into their lives, probably before Chaewon too.

“I see.”

Minjoo can’t find a courage to look into Chaewon’s eyes anymore. The older girl’s gaze is too strong, penetrating not only her head but also her heart.

Chaewon is growing impatient. She can’t take Minjoo’s silence any longer. She wants to clarify and make things clear between them now. If Minjoo can’t accept her confession and reject her love, then Chaewon will respect her decision.

She’ll stay away from Minjoo if that’s the girl wishes for too.

“Let’s go somewhere comfortable and cooling, so we can talk.”

Chaewon grabs down her hand and holds it securely. They take a taxi and go to a destination that only Chaewon knows where.

Minjoo feels her heartbeat accelerates faster by her touch. Why is she feeling this weird butterfly sensation by this simple skinship? Maybe it’s Chaewon’s unexpected love confession that influences and affects her mind, body and heart to feel like the way she’s feeling. The heat on her face is inevitable.

***

They go to a snack cafe where Chaewon is familiar with. Well, the place gives off a nostalgic feeling as soon as she steps in. She hasn’t come in here for a while but she still vividly remembers her wonderful memories here.

“They barely change anything here,” Chaewon said as her eyes wander around the cafe before the both of them settle down at the table beside the wall covered in chocolate wallpaper, and there were handwritten messages on the wall with each table is provided with a pen marker.

“When I was young, I used to come here with my father and waited until my mom finished her shift,” she started to open up about her past, and Minjoo is suddenly hit with guilt and sadness upon Chaewon’s talk.

“I really liked it here, it gave off a warm vibe and the ahjumma who worked here was so nice to us, letting us sat and waited here even for many hours. Sometimes she even gave us free service on the loyal customers card, hehe,” she chuckles, but Minjoo senses a hint of sadness and bitterness from her voice and expression.

“So your mom worked around here?” she asked so she can distract the girl’s mind for a little.

“Yeah, the salon is actually across from this store on the corner. I heard dad first met her here when she was on a break.”

Minjoo watches as Chaewon smiles at the thought of that; her parents fell in love with each other and got married. Somehow, she wishes that smile will be painted on her face forever, though she knows it’s impossible when at the thought of her blood parents can also shatter her heart.

“Sounds lovely,” she said slowly, carefully. Chaewon beams but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, aching Minjoo’s heart.

“Sometimes I wish my mom and I didn’t have to leave home so abruptly so we could have time to pack my dad’s photos as well as the photos from his and my mom’s wedding. Now they’re all burned and thrown into trashes by his mother.”

Minjoo cringes when she heard what the older girl had told her. “How can a grandmother did that to her own bloodline?” She still can’t believe such person exists.

“Things...just happen like that sometimes “

They grow quiet for a while as a woman in her twenty comes to the table to serve them tteokbokki and ice teas. Chaewon glances up in bewilderment since she hasn’t ordered anything until the woman clears up her confusion.

“It’s on the service. My mom said you have to eat a lot.”

She scans the woman’s face for a while and realizes something a bit later. The woman must be the ahjumma’s daughter who used to treat her and her father for free in the past. They look similar.

“Thank you, unnie,” she said, smiling cutely.

“No problem. You’re all grown up now, kiddo!” the woman replied, recognizing Chaewon as well.

Minjoo witnesses the scene unfolds in front of her, right before her eyes, and her heart is quickly filled with warmth. She feels like her heart always becomes so soft for the girl.

And her body reacts so actively for the same girl too.

***

They have arrived at Minjoo’s house and suddenly the both of them feel so reluctant to part. They don’t want to call it a day now just yet. So both Chaewon and Minjoo just stay there, let the silence and the breeze take over them, even just for a moment.

“If you feel like I brought you there as an attempt to make you to fall sympathy and feels something towards me, then you’re right,” Chaewon jokes and Minjoo immediately breaks into a fit of laughter, and the both of them laugh simultaneously. It’s wonderful how they’re able to joke and laugh freely together like that.

Her laugh is so beautiful. Chaewon wants to see it always.

Chaewon slowly exhales the air, sighing heavily. She really wants to stay with Minjoo for a bit longer, and maybe kiss her too. But she doesn’t want to ruin the night. Not when she has yet to get the answer from Minjoo herself.

“So, tell me, you were running away from me, right?”

Minjoo blinks. Her eyes are dim under the dark sky. Chaewon can’t read what the girl has in her mind.

“Honestly…” Minjoo looks away and fidgets her fingers. “Yeah, I was running away.”

She sees the disappointment in Chaewon’s eyes and nothing breaks her heart more than hurting the precious child.

“But- you have to know I wasn’t doing it because I didn’t completely like you or anything. I really, really like you too Chaewon, but I am confused now and I can’t-”

“Can I kiss you again?” Chaewon cuts her off, having the girl completely taken aback.

“W-What?”

“I’m asking your permission right now! Can I kiss you again and let you have the answer you’ve been searching for?”

Minjoo grows quiet, unsure of how to react to such a ridiculous question.

At some point it sounds ridiculous because kisses should happen naturally; like the one they had yesterday, not to be asked through a permission like this one.

“I-I don’t know,” she answered finally.

Chaewon covers her face in her palm, stifling a groan from the back of . She wipes her face at once and lands her gaze on Minjoo’s pretty face, gulping at the beauty.

“I don’t think I can wait anymore,” she said, stern and breathy, as if she’s using all of her remaining last of her strength for this moment. “Seeing you right now makes me lose my mind because I can’t touch you. I want you. My heart, my mind, my body, desires you.”

Now Minjoo gulps at Chaewon’s bluntness. She never expects the older girl can be so bold, shameless and frank.

“Goddamnit!” Chaewon hissed as she runs out of patience and fidgets on her spot. “I’m being serious here, Kim Minjoo.”

She can’t act calm and collected anymore. Minjoo knows she is responsible and has to do something about it.

“Okay fine!” she declared, as her eyes shoot a sharp dagger to her class president. “I want you too! I don’t think I can hold myself back either when you can’t even get a control of yourself.”

Chaewon’s lips finally curve up, smiling widely at the answer. She leans closer and cups Minjoo’s face gently. “I won’t leave you with any regret.”

“You better be, koala!”

The gap is closed and they lock their lips. Chaewon wraps her arms around Minjoo’s neck and the latter’s arms are on the back of Chaewon’s lower abdomen.

The kiss is so magical. Minjoo feels so enchanted that she doesn’t want the kiss to end. Chaewon is just as engrossed in devouring Minjoo’s lips as well.

They break apart for a moment and move to search for a more appropriate place to continue their heated make out session. Minjoo leads Chaewon to the garage where her stepfather parks his car, fortunately, leaving the vehicle behind while he went to work because it broke down.

Chaewon throws her backpack to the ground and Minjoo copies her action. They resume to kiss and Chaewon is impatiently taking the uniform coat off from Minjoo’s body while Minjoo also helps her undressing her own coat.

Their hands roam around their bodies, feeling their chests pumping in excitement and bursting out of happiness.

So this is the answer that Minjoo has acquired for her feelings, getting completely absorbed in exploring the world she’d never been taken to before, finally experiencing the thrill.

***A sneak peek of annyeongz's past and Yujin's struggle about her relationship problem. Now we're finally reaching the original plot of the story, where Chaewon is *ehemehem* with Minjoo. I initially wanted to make this story a little ier with a little rated contents, but since they're still high school students in this story, I don't think it's appropriate to elaborate it that way so I adjusted this to be more innocent than the original plot lol. I hope you all have fun reading this chapter. And please don't hate Yujin lol >.< I'll make her a better person in the future xD