At the warmth of his lips against hers, her eyelids fluttered suffering a dilemma, where heart told her to close her eyes while brain said the otherwise. Taken aback by the sudden kiss, she leaned back to withdraw. But he kissed her while closing in the distance until she was stopped against her seat.  While receiving his kiss for a second longer, there occurred a usual duel between the heart and brain, where the latter took the win. So, the hands which she lifted to embrace him, landed on his chest pushing him with strength, but still gentle. Shutting her eyes tightly, she pushed him until he broke the kiss at the grown distance between them.  He withdrew to look at her disquiet eyes and immediately widened the distance between them.

When she saw him being shattered from inside by her act, she felt something weighing her heart down. But, as soon as he looked away after withdrawal, she gathered her composure and took her hand to pull the handle of the van door to open but stopped on remembering the public location where their van was parked.

On seeing flustered Sohyun, Taehyung, not meeting her eyes, softly uttered, “Sorry…”

Unable to deal with the awkwardness and frustrations, she faced the window and said, “We should stop-”

He cut in her sentence, “I understand. I’ll stop here…”, he said curtly

His unexpected and immediate response turned her head towards him. With a brow raised, she asked, “Will you ditch me here or drop me home?”

He gave her a sharp stare which explicitly expressed his anger at her comprehension of his ‘stop’. Before he could lose his temper, he diverted his attention and looked at the road ahead with knitted brows uttering, “I’ll see you home” and started the engine.

In the 1 hour of travel home, only the sound of the traffic accompanied them. But those never reached them as thoughts flooded the way. Questions and words piled up to get uttered, but only the silence spoke. As the distance between them and her house decreased, the speed of the vehicle reduced. When her house was just around the corner, he felt reluctant to send her off like that. He took his legs off the gas pedal but couldn’t step on the break. So, he just rolled the vehicle down the slope rather than driving it. As the vehicle halted in front of her house, Sohyun saw him through the corner of her eyes and got off after a head bow and without a word.

The night sky was clear with full of stars, but it rained in their sky.  

Her next day started with the buzz of her phone with his text which read,

Waiting for a sweet smile … Are you smiling at my text now?

His text made her smile, but she didn’t reply anything to him or rather she didn’t know how to respond to it. Ignoring his text, she got ready for the day. Getting into comfortable Tee and shorts, her morning started with a French toast. After keeping the phone aside, her hands reached out for newspaper, but the phone buzzed again.

My heartbeat has gone missing since I met you. You’re the thief!

She gripped her hold on the phone unable to bear the cheesy lines and the cringes. To save her phone from being thrown away by his messages in the future, she texted him, ‘what are you trying to do?’

I am a poet who got spoiled by your sight!

Balling her fist to put up with those lines, she typed, ‘Stop with those cheesy lines!!!’

Shall I speak honestly? Or will this do?

Honestly?

I asked for something that nobody has dared to… Why won’t you give it without a fuss? I’ll be grateful if you bestow it upon me!

What?

I asked a tiny bit of your time; a tiny bit of your love and a tiny bit your lust.

Those are bare words… can’t you polish it?

You didn’t like it when I sugar coated before… anyways, don’t say no!

Isn’t that too much to ask for?

No! That’s actually very simple.

That’s too much effort and pain.

Not at all… You can flirt with me when love strikes you and get high with me when you feel down!

Taehyung, please!!!

It’s alright. It’s common to get angry or to get struck by coyness. You’ll get used to it, so don’t worry about it.

How are you hearing ‘yes’ in every ‘no’?

Sohyun-ah, what’s the purpose of dreams if we aren’t happy?

What’s the point of dreams and happiness, if we aren’t peaceful?

While I speak with love, why do you aim a knife at me?

You went on full circle now? You’re bringing that again?

To be honest, I dreamt of being close to you. But I did come a little closer and even kissed you. Despite all this, is it right to deny our love?

Please, don’t do this… don’t make me cry, again!

After that message, he never asked for anything or said anything. For the next few days, her inbox didn’t have any message from him, while his draft box got piled up with the unsent messages for Sohyun.

Memories of that day slapped her as it kindled the past. It never failed to leave her wondering, ‘Why do every moment melt away with heavy heart?’

The silent days took his soul away. His world of imagination and expectation crumbled on him, as it made him question himself, ‘Are my desires a sin?’

The weekend visited again… Rather than ‘it’s already been a week’, ‘it’s that weekend again’ resounded in their mind. Thankfully, to give her thoughts a break, Yeri and Sohyun planned to spend their weekend in the pet café. As Yeri was getting ready for the day out, Sohyun sat on her bed staring at the wall while spacing out.

Yeri entered her room saying, “Sohyun-ah, I’m ready, let’s go!”

Her words brought her to world. Sohyun stood up startled and rushed to bathroom exclaiming, “ahh… I spaced out, Yeri-ah, just give me 15 minutes, okay?”

Yeri stood puzzled on seeing Sohyun washing her face in a hurry. “Sohyun-ah, why are you washing your face?”

“I’ll get ready soon!”, Sohyun spoke hastily.

Yeri rushed to the bathroom and held Sohyun’s hand which had soap lather, saying, “You got all ready!”. She held her shoulders and turned her towards the mirror, to show her makeup done face splashed with water.

“Ah…”, Sohyun let out a small realization mark.

Struck by Sohyun’s absent mindedness, Yeri cried, “Sohyun-ah, are you alright?”

“I’m okay…”, Sohyun said lightly, “Shall we go?” Sohyun took her sling bag and took a step to walk out.

Yeri grabbed her arm stopping her and said, “Your makeup is all smudged in the water…”

Sohyun sighed and plopped on the bed sighing again.

Yeri sat beside her and looked into Sohyun’s eyes to read her.

Sohyun softly uttered, “Shall we talk lat-”

“There is no use of talking later… talk now-”, Yeri told sternly. As Sohyun parted her lips to utter something, Yeri continued her sentence interrupting her, “… not with me, but with him!”

“What’s the need?”

“‘What’s the need?’ You should’ve slapped him when he kissed you…”, Yeri spoke all worked up, “Confront him… Don’t bottle your words and ask him why he did that? How can he do that?”

Her words somehow struck a chord in Sohyun.

“You’re not wrong in any way! Don’t play guilty or victim! Does your cool characters exist only in dramas?”, Yeri nailed every word into her brain.

Sohyun eyes wavered in thought for a second, then stood up and took her steps without replying to her.

“What are you doing?”, Yeri asked puzzled.

“Getting ready to confront him…”, Sohyun replied with a confident smile.

Holding the magazine in his hand, sitting in the comfortable spot of the familiar restaurant, Taehyung waited for Sohyun who initiated the meetup suddenly. Somehow, even without the sound of the footsteps, he sensed Sohyun walking in the corridor towards their table and turned his head towards the door which will soon witness her.

As the door slid revealing Sohyun, the magazine slipped from his hand, as his eyes got hold of her walking in all her confidence and a short smile which acknowledged him.

They sat facing each other and silence. She rested her crossed hands over the table, and he place one arm on the table while rubbing his nape with the other.

Without any further delay, she started calmly, “You… don’t do this. You said ‘as friends’, do friends behave like that? If you were expecting something more than friendship, then why did you say that in first place?”

As she spoke, his mouth was agape and looked at her dumbfounded by her question.

“How can you behave this way?”, she asked again.

Confused by her words, he straightened his back and took his hands off the table asking, “Which way?”

“Last weekend! In the van…”, she explained.

Understanding what she meant, he asked, “You still insist that what you feel for me is friendship?” Receiving her stare as reply, he leaned towards the table resting his arm on it and looked into her eyes, “I kissed your forehead first, you didn’t object. Is that friendship? Then I kissed your lips….”, he raised his brow and continued, “…slowly, you didn’t stop me! Isn’t this love?”

Sohyun leaned back on her chair withdrawing her arms from the table and averted her eyes from him.

“Didn’t you feel the sizzling atmosphere?”

His question drew her eyes back to him.

“There is chemistry in the way you look at me…”, his eyes gazed into hers.

She averted her eyes away at his words.

“Even if you avoid my gaze, you know I’m looking at you right? You know how I look at you right? Can’t you tell why?”

Sohyun breathed out through with the lack of words.

“That atmosphere is even here now… I can’t handle this distance between us… I want to be by your side, sit there with you… hugging you… your hair…”, he sighed out loud and pursed his lips to stop himself from pouring his thoughts. But all that he uttered was, “I know… you want that too, but won’t admit it! I tried my best to stay under the cage called ‘friends’, but when I saw you beside me, I lost it…”, he continued in broken words, “our times… old memories… my yearnings took shape and my resolution got shattered-”

“What will convince you? How do I explain the gravity of our role?”, Sohyun uttered helpless.

“Love! There’s only love between us. This is love, Sohyun-ah!”, his voice raised trying to prove his point.

“No…”, she shook her head, “Let go of me… this won’t happen. This has already happened to someone I know… fights and tears every day…”, Sohyun sighed out unable to explain further and said, “I can see only the hazzles!”

He listened to her detached and incensed, “Let’s deal with the problem later…”, he said outraged. He paused to regain his temper and continued in low voice, “In the van, that night… it’s love, isn’t it? I saw it in your eyes, that’s why I did that…”, he said firmly, “Tell me, without denying yourself!”

She breathed out as if she was breathless and her eyes wandered in search of nothing, after which she admitted, “Ok…”, she paused for a moment before she continued, “I like you”, before he gets carried away by her answer, she emphasised, “But I don’t want this! I don’t want any problem… And I don’t want this now! Do you understand what I’m saying?” With defensive tone, she raised her voice saying, “Do you understand, MAN?”

To him, those clever words of cowardice were like a harp without a melody. Clenching his teeth to get hold of his lost temper, he rose on his feet enraged and tapped the table with a loud thud startling her. “I’m crazy about you…”, his furious voice meant every word. “And I’m f**king mad about you!”, his words were more on the side of venting out his frustrations rather than a romantic line in low voice.

Sohyun was clearly taken aback and the next second, her grumpiness took over. She stood up and made her way out.

Realizing his blunder, he hurriedly ran and stood in her way to stop her from leaving, “Fine, fine…” he said hastily. Shedding all his anger, he spoke calmly, “You are practical… sensible. But don’t say ‘No’. Please, Sohyun-ah. You like me, don’t you? You feel it right?”

“How come, you never get what I say?”

“If me being an idol and you being an actress, is the problem… Then I swear, no one can prevent my life with you…”

“Don’t come after me… I came here to tell you that!”

“Sohyun-ah, Sohyun-ah…”, he called desperately.

With her brows drawn together, she looked in his eyes, at his unreasonable request and said, “Do you even know the boundary between being friends and lovers?”

“We’ll know the boundary only after crossing it!”, he said bluntly.

She rolled her eyes and breathed in saying, “BYE!” and took her leave while shaking her head at the incredulity of his words.

‘I’m sorry for burying you alive’, she apologised for every beat of her heart that night. ‘To a fish in the sea, you are like a mirage on the shore. So, I don’t dare to cross the shore and suffer on the ground’, she confessed her insecurities it a million times inside her.

Later in the night, when the members gathered for dinner, they heard Taehyung entering the dorm. They quickly got themselves busy with the food and other things on the dinner table to escape from Taehyung’s story. But oblivious to their intentions, with the wide grin Taehyung hugged Jimin from behind saying, “She said she likes me”.

“Oh!”, the short vowel escaped the member’s lips. But Jungkook cut in saying, “She said she didn’t want anything to do with you, right?”

As everyone looked at Taehyung to find the truth behind Jungkook’s words, Taehyung said pointing him, “Tsk! I told you to delete Yeri-sshi’s number, right? Are you working towards making the rumour a truth?”

Jungkook cleared his throat and swiftly immersed himself in food to prevent becoming the topic for discussion.

As the truth hit Taehyung, with a downcast eyes and spiritless tone, he said, “That’s what more or less happened! She says she likes me but doesn’t want to take it forward! What do I do?”

Jimin interrupted, “The words that comes after ‘but’ in a sentence can never be ignored, Tae!”

Namjoon who hardly interferes with members personal decisions, spoke up, “Taehyung-ah, ‘no’ means no. It’s not a short word but a complete sentence!”

Taehyung who didn’t expect such words from him, responded, “Hyung, if she didn’t like me… then, I would never appear before her. But she loves me and… she couldn’t even deny her feelings for me-”

“I’m afraid…”, Namjoon said interrupting him. “-of your emotions taking over your sense and reasons”

“I don’t want to back down without trying…”

“That’s good… but I hope you know when to back down right?”

Taehyung nodded fully deciphering the weight of his words. Taehyung lost his sleep while pondering over the reason ‘Why did I have to fall for her? She is the most beautiful and the most problematic…  Why did I fall for her… of all girls… in the world?’ Searching for the answer through the sleepless night, he arrived at one conclusion that just one night isn’t enough to find the answer for that question.

The mind that comes alive daily, dies in the day to day life. And losing a night’s sleep, had his mind clouded, but fortunately, didn’t evidently affect his practice. After the practise session, drenched in sweat, he reached out to towel, but his phone caught his attention instead. Putting the towel over his neck, wiping his sweat on his forehead in his sleeve, he took his phone and immediately tapped on the notification which showed a message from Sohyun.

While the members lied on the floor exhausted, Taehyung hurriedly abandoned his phone and went ahead to refresh himself in a shower. In an instant, he came out all freshened up wearing a casual attire still accentuating his fashion sense. Before members could wonder at the source of his enthusiasm, with beaming eyes, Taehyung announced, “Sohyun is here!”

“Really?”, “What?”, “Who?” were the questions chorused by the members.

When Taehyung was about to answer their queries, one of the staffs, came in with an announcement, “Everyone, please assemble at the lounge hall in 10 minutes. An agency’s CEO and their artist, actress Kim Sohyun has come here and you were asked to meet them…”

Members’ eyes unconsciously directed at Taehyung who stood nodding as if he was the verifying the facts. Jimin perplexed at the turn of events and asked, “Why are they here?”

“Just an informal discussion about the collaboration…”, the staff answered.

While members puzzled at the word ‘collaboration’, Namjoon assured, “We’ll be there”, and rushed everyone to get ready. While everyone was in a hurry to get showered, Taehyung leisurely worked on his hairstyle.

Members arrived at the lounge hall in just casuals because of the time constraint, except Taehyung who arrived there in style. Moving through the crowd, Taehyung had his eyes fixated on her, who was surrounded by staffs. Trying to find Taehyung among the artists, Sohyun barely managed to keep up with the conversation with the staffs. Unaware of the past between Sohyun and Taehyung, everyone introduced themselves as a part of formal introductions and greetings.

On seeing Taehyung who stood out with his style, Sohyun’s agency CEO said, “I didn’t know Taehyung is a fashionista!”

“He got many fans just coz of his looks…”, Sohyun joined in teasing him.

“And, you were listening to my songs with your eyes closed?”, Taehyung retorted gaining laughs from others and even winning Sohyun’s smile.

As the clock ticked, the discussion inclined more on the business side and the conversation got confined between the CEOs. While the BTS members dispersed one by one bored by the talk, their CEO said, “I guess, it’s a boring talk for everyone. Sohyun-sshi even took her time off her schedule just to visit us… so, how about we show you around our agency?”

“Deh (sure)…”, Sohyun said politely. “That’d be nice”

While one of the staffs showed Sohyun around, Taehyung sneakily tagged along with them. And as they got away from everyone’s sights, Taehyung volunteered to show Sohyun around which of course raised the staff’s suspicion on their closeness.

Taehyung explained, “We once did a music program together!”

“Just once?”

“Yeah… once…”, Taehyung replied.

The staff nodded smirking reading his intention and left them alone.

As soon as the staff took his leave, Taehyung leaned in and whispered in her ears, “The best moment in the past two years is… you, being here!”

She leaned in whispering, “You are lying. But it feels so good hearing it!”

Taehyung smiled asking, “Did you come here for me?”

“I came here for a good city view… and also to meet my friend, you…”

Taehyung didn’t seem pleased with her words or maybe a word. “Shall we go see the city view? To the exclusive top floor?”

Sohyun smiled nodding and said, “Ready”

Within the glass walls of the top floor, they leaned back on the chaise longue chairs facing the city and Taehyung offered a cup of coffee to her to enjoy with the view.

She carefully received the cup without brushing against his fingers. His brows furrowed as his eyes caught that.

Taking the sip from the coffee, she spoke, “Let’s be just friends Tae!”

He raised his brow at her mention.

“Otherwise, there will be too much pain. I don’t want that!”

He clenched his jaw and tried to ignore her words and look at the view in front of him.

“I don't want to lose this. If there's love between us... we can't be free. What do you say?”

Losing the temper that he held on to, with a narrowed eyes and sarcastic tone, he asked, “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?”

Chapter pic credit: Credits in the pic (ig : kth95_ksh99 ). I don't own the pic or the  edit.

Author’s thoughts:

Hello! I’m sorry for not meeting you with an update in the past weekend! *was out of town, so couldn’t keep up*

Hope you enjoyed this chapter despite the clichés like Crazy about you’ ;)