Days rolled on swiftly. For Sohyun, every yesterday became today. To Taehyung weekdays had a fixed schedule and weekend had another fixed plan, reiterating.

One summer day unexpectedly brought dark clouds in the evening. The rain clouds stood tall on the trees. The breeze blew on the branch and slowly the drizzles fell on the leaves. Sohyun, who took a stroll on such evening with no one to walk alongside her, decided to take shelter in the coffee shop nearby. Without being noticed by anyone, she silently took a corner seat near the window. The small droplets on the window, the faint sound of the rain, the chill and gentle breeze leaking through the window frame engrossed her in the moment and brought moisture in the eyes.

“Like this soft rain which sprouts without notice, our love caressed the dried out paths in life… hence the moistened eyes?”, a voice spoke.

Knocked into reality by an unknown voice and taken aback by the same, Sohyun turned to find a man in his late 30’s with a gentle smile and Hwayoung beside him with a sorry face.

As Sohyun’s brows netted in bewilderment, Hwayoung explained, “Sohyun-ah, he is a director… I’m working under him… remember my mention of him before?”, she uttered hesitantly.

“But-”, Sohyun was interrupted by Hwayoung’s hasty explanation, “I told him-”, she was in turn interrupted by director, “I heard… that you decided not to take up our movie in order to pursue your studies…”

“I’ve been planning for this for a long time, so I stopped accepting offers for a while now…”

“But you haven’t read our script yet… Try it!”

“I’m sorry… I-”, she tried to explain.

“Sohyun-sshi, I’ve loved a women!”

His sudden confession took her aback. “Why-”

“Never had the courage to express… but she knew that I like her more than anyone! She would throw a smile in the corner of her lips whenever I failed to approach her, as an encouragement…”

“I don’t know why you are explaining it to me…”

Not heeding to her, “I made her wait in vain for years… now it’s been decades since I met her, the love she painted in my heart is still pristine… I am not stuck in the past… I’m carrying it with me into the future…”

“That’s like inflicting pain on yourself… Are you unable to let go?”, Sohyun asked carefully.

“Everyone needs an addiction to go with life…. And this is mine!”, he said with a smile. “Here”, he handed the script to her, “If it failed to touch your soul, then I won’t bother you…”,

Reluctantly receiving the script, she stated her reason with reluctancy, “Isn’t Taehyung in the movie?”

“Yes, of course. Our male lead”, he said calmly. “I told Taehyung… about you… He was very welcoming, the idea of you being his female lead… The vigorous youthfulness conveys its gratitude!”, a smile curved his lips. “Of course, I heard about you two and, I least care. I want the actors who can take up the characters’ traits and live as them inside the frame!”

His words left her dazzled and he continued, “You never even looked at the script to stay true to your decision on studies… I hope you leave your relationship at bay, to stay true to the decision you are gonna make on this offer.”

He lost her in the last sentence and her smile in disbelief said so. It was never easy to think far from her relationship.

“I need your love to act and your mind to think!”, he marked his end statement and took his leave. Hwayoung followed him after bidding her bye.

After exchanging the words with the director, Sohyun spent the rest of the day in a daze. His words which seemed more of a riddle with layers, slowly unraveled as she read his script. Set in a medieval time frame, the story describes the relationship between two people, which cannot be just confined in the word ‘love’. It had neither a happy ending nor a tragedy, but it sure weighed heavy in her heart. The tears would not flow but the knot in would never go.  Lines kept echoing in her head and kept her awake through the night. She tossed and turned, but neither sleep nor the comfort of lying down dawned upon her.

As the first thing in the morning, she made her call to Hwayoung. Pondering over which time to call, she decided on 10 but since it seemed far, she chose 6 .

“He-ello…”, Hwayoung’s muddled voice answered the phone.

“I need a favor… need to talk to the director”, her steady tone but wavering words made the request.

“I was expecting your call…”, she took the phone away and checked the time, “But not this early…”. She sat up on the bed and spoke steadily, “I’ll ask him… Are you free this evening?”

“Will he be available now?”

“You want to meet now?”, Hwayoung perplexed.

“Will he available to take the call now?”

 “Call? I’ll give you his number. But I’m not sure… he has no fixed sleeping or wakeup time”

“Thank you!”, Sohyun abruptly hung up.

Fortunately for Hwayoung, having another hour of sleep was worth more than a goodbye.

She made the call to the director. Rather than a ‘Yes or No’ answer to the offer, she bore lots of questions, like, ‘Why me?’, ‘What made you write this? Why does it have to be like that? Is that even possible’.

Despite these queries, the only question that came out was, “A love that is unaffected by the wear and tear of the routine…. That is ‘Love’?”

Though puzzled by her sudden question, Director could understand the reason behind her abruptness. He spoke with a smile, “Love is one, my dear. There’re just myriad ways of expressing it. One such is in the script…”

Upon his words, sad smile dawned in the corner of her lips. After a moment of silence, “I feel small…”, her tone went low.

“Remember, no one way of expressing love is superior to the other. Because love is the one state that escapes the length of time! A state of time dilation…”

“Will I be able to do it?”, her soft but resolute tone conveyed her intention.

“Will you give us the pleasure to welcome you on board?”

Things that happened following their phone conversation, seemed like a spontaneous process. Soon supporting casts were confirmed and shooting schedule were fixed. Since everything happened too fast, before people could react to the news, the shooting almost neared the end. The director was very particular about not having a press meet before the movie is released. Other than the posters, which depicted a medieval wistful love story, nothing was revealed to the public. Postproduction work lasted for a season, and then the trailer was released. Soon after the release of trailer the movie release was made. Before hype could dawn on people, or people could dwell on the trailer and its insights, the movie premier was set.

The bright red carpet leading to the theatre’s entrance, the flashing lights blinding his eyes throughout the walk, the soft sound of his heel against the stairs, the long course of empty corridor, black pillar like body guards standing stiff and still, the distant cry of the crowd, the waning lights in the theatre, familiar faces that he found in the audience, anything and everything made him anxious. He was yet to find the trace of her arrival. Walking towards his assigned seat, his eyes found her name on a seat which was next to it. In a while, she arrived and sat beside him like a happy moon. And soon, the movie was screened.

“Like it?”, he softly whispered amidst the dark theatre and the sounds.

“Wh.. what? Movie”, she whispered back puzzled.

As there was no response from him, her brows drew closer. She turned to her side to look at him. He sat there with a smile which shone brightly in the light of the projecting screen.

Looking back at her and to the screen again, he said with an endearing smile, “This moment…. Do you like it?”

She faced the screen again and went silent. Her silence prolonged in bewilderment of his words.

Realizing that she is yet to grasp his words, he spoke, “I like this…”, he paused and shook his head saying, “No, I yearned for this…”

“You mean, seeing the premiere of the movie in which we starred in?”

With his eyes fixated on screen, he shook his head slightly and said, “To sit side by side in the crowd without any worry-”

She interrupted him saying, “Can you say that again… while looking into my eyes? Looking at me instead of the screen?” Her words were soft but the cold truth beneath it splashed on his face.

He never uttered another word. The movie rolled on in absence of their exchange of words.

Leaning back on the seat he breathed out. As his eyes set on the screen, his mind played his solitude memories that he spent in her absence during the long months of separation.

The pain of loneliness never had any end. It felt like someone took away my breath, how should I live? You were the rhythmic beats from my heart… a chronic wound in my heart because of you. It won’t heal. When I looked up in the sky… it is like a familiar star vanished from the sky. I wanted a lap to sleep without having my two eyes shut. I saw you as an illusion everywhere. I was like a fish caught in the hook. Innumerable times, I died every single day, I kept resurrecting back to life yearning to see you some day. You are a women who comes in my dreams and thoughts everyday… Isn’t it possible to come to me? My existence without you… I will become a truth searching for a hide out!

Upon his recollection, he could utter only one solution, “Marry me!” His abrupt words conveyed his wish without amplifying his soft tone.

“What?!”, Sohyun uttered not believing her ears.

He turned towards her, even in the dark theatre, she felt his determined stare. “Marry me, Sohyun-ah!”

Her eyes quivered and slowly widened upon comprehending his words. Her lips drew apart breathing in the air. She was sent to the state of stupor with just two words. Her forehead knitted, eyebrows drew closer and ordeal fell upon her.

“Let’s not be cheated by time hereafter… What should I do to unite with you for ages to come? What should I do to be with you?”

Before Sohyun could bring herself to senses, the theatre lights . The dull lights turned her head and brought the out of the conversation.

The movie managed to hold every audience in captive even while the credits rolled on. The scenes that imprisoned itself into their vision, created a void, a knot in throat and tears welled eyes.

Only when the cast and director took the stage, some got back to their senses. And the remaining audience hit the reality, when the director picked up the mike asking, “Did we manage to leave an impact?”

The right question yielded strong and deafening cheer from the crowd.

The audience celebrated every frame of the movie. The movie felt like a nostalgia, few said. ‘How unconditional can love be?’, few questioned. And a famous critic commented, ‘Beware! The movie might leave you with a high that only happy associations with our past can evoke!’

They only had a heart touching script and good actors, they never had hopes. The director and crew tried out this movie as an experiment and no one expected such a good response.

After the premiere, everyone soon retired for the night.

Lying in the comfort of the bed, his question echoed in her ears, the night and its stillness robbed her of sleep. At the time when the flowers unfurl, her thoughts are perfused with thousand questions and a thousand dreams too. Within each question, there were indescribable doubts. Within each of those dream, she saw beautiful tableau.  

He spent his days in half awake. The incomprehensible look she gave him when he proposed replayed in his mind. His thoughts arose with thousand reasoning. Searching the reason for the only question, ‘Where do I find the meaning for your look, sohyun-ah?’

Lost in their own thoughts, they failed to contact each other. It was never their intention to ignore each other. They just couldn’t find the right words to convey. There wasn’t a language to express.

To not misunderstand her silence, he waited. But without brushing off the confession, she could not just start a casual conversation. To not take his words lightly, she stayed silent. Neither of them wanted to walk past on it. And without the answers… there were no purpose, there were no path and no destination.

The night visited, and the day, and then they took turns. Still no words were exchanged. Stages of stillness, blank stares, empty thoughts and occupied minds became their way of life.

‘Marriage is a big decision!’, that’s what I heard growing up. I heard it’s important to choose wisely… but no one told me what choosing means… is it choosing a right man? Choosing a right time? And what’s a wise decision? When I’m struggling to even arrive at the question, where shall I search for the answer?

Sohyun went to her hometown to clear her mind. Maybe she hoped the fresh air without the traffic, the calm vicinity and the serene environment will help her think. More than that, she hoped being by the side of her mom will give her the strength and the support. In the adolescent age, friends knew our thoughts more than anyone. Once that bridge is crossed, mother knew our worries more than anyone. There were worries that could not be shared, doubts which can never be mouthed and comforts that can never be asked… but mom was always an exclusion. Her only solace.

While Taehyung tried his best to bring his debilitating thoughts out of his mind. As a means to escape, he invited the members for a drink. His passive state, lifeless smile and moreover the reason behind it compelled the members to reluctantly agree. He brought them to a drinking tent near his college. When the members were dubious of the privacy, Taehyung explained that he called to clear the slot for the night just for them and assured that there will be no students. And, just like he said, there were no one in there and the owner was happy to welcome him. With a nostalgic smile, Taehyung hugged the owner tightly saying, “Hyung, I missed you!”

The members were a bit confused when he called the owner who is in his early 50’s as hyung. Understanding their puzzled look, the owner said, “He used to call me ‘hyung’ since his college days, to butter me up! And I gave him some concession on drinks for that!”

On hearing the word ‘concession’, the members’ eyes widened. Without any lapse, “HYUNG!”, the members chorused. The owner laughed out loud and promised to give complimentary snacks.

Laughter and smiles were spilled generously. Until Taehyung’s drunk state made him to blabber, he pointed to the entrance saying, “I laid my eyes on the path…”, he paused and everyone looked at the entrance, he continued, “Looking for the footsteps of-”. His poem was interrupted by a man walking into the tent. BTS members looked at Taehyung wondering if it was his’ footsteps he was saying about. Taehyung shook his head sideways and said, “Sohyun’s! Sohyun’s”, he repeated assuring. Upon his assurance the members looked at the owner expecting to explain about the booked slot.

The owner walked towards the members and humbly said, “He is a professor! In a college nearby, you might’ve crossed it on the way here… Will it be okay if he spent some time here?”

“We are worried if he drops any word on us to outside!”, Namjoon spoke up. “Moreover, many are drun-”

“Professor Han!”, half-drunk Taehyung ran towards the man with open arms and embraced him in a hug. Patting on his shoulder, professor muttered, “It’s good to see you… in a not so good condition”

“That’s our professor and… Sohyun’s uncle!”, Jungkook explained.

Members greeted him and invited him to join. He accepted the invite, but he made clear that he can’t stay for long.

After having a round of drinks with professor, Taehyung started again, “While waiting for her... even the evening breeze feels like a frost bite and the warmth of the sun, is burning me!”

“Stop whining. If waiting is that hard, then don’t wait!”, Professor said curtly.

Without any effect of the words and with half closed eyes, Taehyung looked at him and asked, “You might’ve heard, right?”, he shook his head to himself and continued, “You heard! You know that I proposed to her! Of course, you knew! You knew everything! Everything! EVERYTHING!”, his voice amplified. Namjoon stepped on his feet discreetly beneath the table to hush him. “Oh! I’m sorry for raising my voice, Namjoon!”, he said out aloud making Namjoon covered his face in disbelief. Taehyung looked at Prof. Han asking, “You know everything, right? You’re ‘The Professor Han’!”

Breathing out a sigh, Prof. Han said, “If you want to know about her reply, ask her!

“Oh! You’re right!”, Taehyung nodded his head. “Then let me ask you about the things you know! The stalker that followed Sohyun!”

Though taken a little taken Saback, he regained his composure and said, “I made him surrender before her! We talked about this before, right?”

Taehyung leaned in closer and whispered, “Not that fake one! The real one!”

His words shook him.

He placed his elbow on the table and comfortably rested his head on his palm. “Who will believe that? After. All. Those. Threats!”, he then continued in whispers, “After all those threats do you want us to believe that all those were done by a man you set up?”, he giggled in a muddled state. “She used to share everything with her mom, and her mom confided in you! And that’s how you knew about all those instances, right? Anyway, that’s not my point… My deduction is you knew more than that! So, my question is how?”

“There isn’t a fake one!”, he said with a straight face.

Reading his expression, “Right! What’s the use of asking it now? Why am I seeking for answers? Do I even have the right?”, his eyes welled in tears, “There were so many things I want to say and ask, but after all those, if our bond breaks, then I would rather be as I am now!” Everyone knew what he is hinting at and remained silent.

Does a wilting flower have fragrance?

Unable to handle his whining, professor spilled, “He was the real one! Through my connection in the police department, I wanted them to unofficially look at this stalker things… They found him! A stalker fan of Sohyun and a freelance reporter who was looking for scoops to sell it to the news channel. He was angry that she is in a relationship, and his desperate need for money pushed him into the choices… Either she should end the relationship, or he’ll end her career by publishing the photos. But… he was my student! I could not bring myself to destroy his life… We just threated to arrest him, and he curbed… He promised that he won’t do that again and handed over all the photos… It was an unofficial investigation, so with a stern warning we left him…”, his eyes fell low, “So, I staged such a drama… a rubbish drama, to give her some relief… to save ourselves!”

A sad smile crept in the corner of his lips.

“And I didn’t see him after that, neither did she!”, Professor Han knew that his answer and all those explanations isn’t what he really wanted. But that is all he could help with.

Taehyung looked further saddened at the disclosure of the truth, “I thought finding answers for the questions that circled in my mind would ease me… but it’s all fell irrelevant to me now! How many questions should be answered to forget that question I asked? How many truths will help me feel nonchalant about her answer? What will make me go numb?”

I should be looking or a boat to take me ashore… But am I drinking the entire ocean in order to reach the shores?

Meanwhile, Sohyun who was fighting against herself and lost her sleep, tried her last luck by lying on mom’s lap. Her mom knew she was troubled to the sky’s limit. Patting her shoulders. Her mom said, “Tell me this Sso-ya… Why did you bring him to introduce to us?”, her mo continued after a pause, “Times will change… People will change…” Slowly running her fingers through Sohyun’s hair, her mom spoke gently, “‘Everything will change’, that’s what people will say Sso-ya… That ‘things will change’, but in true love nothing changes… nothing changes for good or better!”

Her mom’s voice and words gave her the comfort and the most needed sleep. Her mom sailed her through the swirls of the sea of tears. Sleeping by her side, Sohyun breathed out all her agony.

Sleep settled in quite well before her phone buzzed. She woke up with knitted brows. On seeing her mom sleeping soundly beside her, she gently took the blanket away and quietly walked towards her buzzing phone. On reading the name on the display, her knitted eyes widened. Gripping the phone tightly in her hand, she walked out of the room and closed the doors. It was Taehyung’s call which made her to freeze. She didn’t have any answer in her hand, in any way, she did not want to miss answering the phone. Even after answering the phone, she was silent for a while. Her breath deepened, eyes welled up and her grip on the phone tightened. “Hello…”, she breathed.

“I’m not drunk, Sohyun-ah”, he said ever so softly in an apologetic tone.

Those were not the words she expected or even thought of.

“I was drunk, now I’m sober…”, he said confidently.

“Mmm…”, she hummed hesitantly.

“Why are you mumbling, is anyone by your side?”, he asked curiously, “Talk to me in whispers then!”

Her lips smiled, “You’re drunk”

“May be… but my words are heart felt…”, his voice withered.

“What happened?”, she asked noticing the change in the tone of his voice, dandy to despair.

His voice quivered, “I… I just miss you”.

Tears trickled down her cheeks. No able to say or hear further, she hung up. The grip on her phone never loosened. She could feel the sweat in her palms. With tears blurring her vision, she took her steps towards her room. Placing the phone on the bedside table, she leaned on the wall. The sobs were stifled at first as she tried to hide her grief. But his echoing words made her self-conscious cry to give in to the enormity of her grief. She sobbed into her hands and the tears dripped between her fingers. Her breathing turned ragged and gasping. As the strength left her legs, she slid against the wall and landed on the floor.

She never wondered why his words had this profound impact on her. These words were neither articulate, nor poetic. But why does his words and actions always manage to touch her? For the first time, she questioned it. She found her question! Why his words, just his words were deeply felt. Such question surged an avalanche of memories creating a blizzard inside her. While searching for the question, ‘Why his words hits hard?’, the answer hit her, ‘Because, it’s his’ words!’

Love… Within an answer, all questions, cower!

The day dawned.

In the moments of loneliness, she wanted to clasp the distances… Longed to be latched with love, she decided to take her leave to Seoul. Along with a tight hug, her mom gave all her support and strength to her decision.

On the way towards him, every second that fleets felt like a millennium. Like a swing of dusts in a storm, her thoughts fleeted. When Sohyun texted Taehyung expressing her wish to meet him, he promptly replied her by sharing a location of a hotel nearby his CF shooting spot.

By noon Sohyun reached the location and waited for him. Other than anxiousness she didn’t carry anything with her. With her hands tightly clasped, eyes on the TV and ears on the door, she got restless. And at that time, when the doorbell rang, she could hear her heart beating out of the rib cage.

“It’s me!”, Taehyung’s voice strung her as he made his way in.

The second she heard his voice, it intuitively and involuntarily told her to hide. She was unready to face him; unprepared to express; unplanned to give out words; evasive to confess her feelings. Some inexplicable fear and distress made her to run away from him. She rushed towards the bathroom and locked it from inside. With her eyes tightly shut, and hands firmly gripped on the knob, she rested her head on the door while breathing heavily.

On seeing her react like that, Taehyung felt remorseful. He never wanted that. Closing the main door, he walked towards the bathroom. Resting his forehead on the door, he slowly took his hand and placed on the door panel.

“I thought I was running towards a rainbow; I’m struck by lightning…  It feels like at the view of a splendorous illustration, I lost my vision!”, he said softly. “If you want to forget about that confess-”

“I can’t understand!”, her tears mumbled words screamed.

“What?”

“Your poetic words... I can’t understand them… can’t understand anything!”

His eyes turned forlorn as he explained, “I want you… your love… my entire being feels fulfilled when with you. Just be with me like before…”, he pleaded, “Meet me once in a while, answer my calls once you’re available and text me once you’re free… I want your love to walk with me to the end of my life, that would suffice, that alone would suffice! I won’t put forth any demands to tie you down… from your career or life or anything… I won’t bring up the marria-”

The sound of the door being unlocked interrupted him. She turned the doorknob and slowly opened the door. Her reddened eyes were fixated on the floor while she walked out. In breathes and air, she spoke, “Desire for riches, fame, status… I don’t want these worries to eat me up. Cowardice and fear have spread through my heart, these feelings have made my heart their home. I don’t want them. I want to end my sufferings… I want to end what I deemed to do. Instead I will do those task as yours… doing so, there will be no more sorrow, no more exhaustion, no more desperation, no more defeats... I don’t know to differentiate the good and the bad… I don’t know”, her which amplified had softened in whispers as she continued, “I don’t know!” She looked up at him and her eyes witnessed a coalescence of joys, forming tears. “I just know that I love you”

As droplets of her beauty drizzled softly, it brushed his soul and trundled on him. His heart mumbled in a language he don’t understand.

His arms wrapped her gently in an embrace. As his tears fell on her shoulder, he confessed, “There is no need to wish for boons anymore, there is no heaven anywhere else like here!”

He took her face in his palms and lifted to look her in the eyes. With a fulfilling smile, he closed in. Her eyes voluntarily closed expecting and welcoming the kiss. As he leaned in, their lips brushed slightly against each other’s. As he opened his lips to savor her slightly apart lips, his phone rang disturbing them. He tried to ignore the call, but a ringing phone in the shirt pocket did its best. Sohyun broke the proximity saying, “Attend the call, we have a whole life ahead of us!”

With a satisfying smile at her words, he attended the call… And his smile soon vanished!

It was his manager. He informed him that an online article speculated that he and Sohyun are dating. The speculations were made based on some photos of him driving his car with Sohyun in the passenger seat. It was taken around the time when they were heading to the movie filming site together.

Moreover, adding to the shock, they received a message that the reporters have arrived at the hotel they were in.

Soon, Sohyun’s phone rang and her agency advised her to stay in the room until all the reporters are cleared.

Unsure of what to do, Sohyun and Taehyung waited inside the room with their hand clasped together. “How did they know?”, Sohyun wondered.

“Someone in the hotel might’ve told on us… Maybe someone tailed us… I suspect the later since the photos and our location were exposed at the same time!”

“There is no way to evade them, right?”

“Yup, there is no way…”, he paused, “No way to evade them, but we do have lots of ways to face them!”

Sohyun went quiet for a moment before she uttered, “I don’t know what future holds, in fact I don’t care unless it’s with you!”

Their eyes had the determined look. With tightly held hands, they opened the door and walked out in the hallway. The reporters who were waiting at the end of the hallway rushed towards them with flashes and questions.

The source of my strength which made me to stand before them undaunted…

is it my compassion for music?

is it my passion for acting?

anger at the paparazzi?

Love for you?

If there is no tomorrow, the only forsaken thing is past. If I dig into my dark and mundane past, the only ray of light would be you, only you…

Only Kim Sohyun, (Only Kim Taehyung)

Their thoughts struck as they stood facing the reporters. Amidst them, there was this one reporter with the hardcopy of the photo in hand and asked abruptly, “Are you gonna deny this?” It was the same guy who stalked Sohyun, the guy with yellow flowers.

Taehyung proudly said, “How could I deny that moment? In my car… with my love… and my song on the radio, it was magical and… my life felt worth lived!”

“Please don’t quote that we’re ‘rumored to be dating’! We are just in love!”, Sohyun said smiling.

Meanwhile, the guards and local police arrived to clear the crowd. With no certainty of what the future is gonna hold, with just the assurance that they are gonna hold each other’s hand tightly, they were safely escorted away!”

The next day the news quoted the picture of them surrounded by reporters as, “Being trapped, yet still in love! The Stockholm Syndrome!”

Author’s note:

Hi! Its been a long time… long, long time! Really sorry for the late update.  This chapter marks the end of the story! Thank you for travelling with this story and thank you for your patience!

Caught up with life… After a long break, it took much of a time to write just this one chapter… Struggling with this for almost a week! Whatever I write, reads terrible the next day! So, I didn’t dare to read this chapter thoroughly for proof reading. So kindly excuse any mistakes in here. I wanted more for this chapter, but life is calling me back. Hope to see you all with another story! (Might take decades ;)

Hope you have a good day!

P.S: Thank you for everything:)