{Pic credit: we.purple.them instagram. I don't own the pic or the edit}

Rather than confidence or seriousness, Kwak Dongyeon’s eyes looked at her with tremendous tenderness. Sohyun never saw this version of him before. She never uttered a word and just stood up in a daze and moved out of the crowd. Understanding her intention to speak privately, he followed her to the open space in the terrace. Leaning over the railings on her side, she waited for him. “I’m not 16 anymore…”, she spoke through her breath.

“I’m 24 and you’re 22… Now, I won’t retract back after brushing you slightly like the waves, I’ll stick on to you like the beach sand and will always accompany you till the shore…”

“I like your poetry, I’m a fan of your words… but I don’t seem to incline towards your content…”, she told him bearing a sad smile. “Why is the second chance is very difficult to come by?”, she questioned herself.

He inhaled in the city air which didn’t seem to give him the freshness. “If we had been honest with our feelings in our past…”

“We would’ve been the happiest couple in the world…”, she completed his sentence.

They smiled at each other at the realization of the time which slipped out of their hands. The bitter feeling between them lost its colour at the heartfelt words.

“Tell me this Sohyun-ah…”, his words turned her head, “If you are 16 again, if we went back to the past, with our memories intact… will it be anything different?”

His question got her silence as a reply.

“Did you just realize that it has nothing to do with age or did you just realize that it had everything to do with him?”, he gave her a puzzle before taking his leave.

Later that night, on seeing Sohyun coming out of the bath in pyjamas, Yeri who had been restlessly walking around her room waiting for her, crossed her arms and spoke firmly, “Are you really hosting the award show?”

Sohyun hummed saying, “With Heechul sunbaenim and Shin Dongyeop sunbaenim… It’s already official!” and took her seat in front of the mirror while gathering the moisturiser. As she applied the lotion on her arms, she saw Yeri’s glare through the mirror and smirked at her cute reaction.

Not giving in, Yeri fast paced towards the mirror and leaned on the vanity table blocking the mirror while facing Sohyun. Griping her hold on Sohyun’s shoulder, Yeri spoke seriously, “There were articles… about you, being the host of a music award function and about him being in a relationship with a celebrity!”

“So?”

“All that I can do is… show you his girlfriend in the award show… I can’t help you to avoid him, this year!”, Yeri spoke angrily.

“I can’t wait!”, she said teasing her.

“You’re gonna regret accepting that hosting offer!”

“I’ll regret later… It’s time to sleep now…”, Sohyun while adjusting her pillow on the bed.

“Don’t come crying to me!”, she warned strongly and went back to her room after slamming the door shut.

The festival night came, the backstage was buzzing with the staff, stylists, makeup artist, the sound engineers and stage directors. Amidst them, Sohyun walked through the hallway gathering her long dress and her MC cards towards the stage. Standing on the stage, she looked at the spectacular view of light sticks held up by fans under the night which beat the stars in the sky.

Holding on to her senses and her MC card, she stood in front of the cheering crowd and the ceremony began. Like the MC card instructed, she introduced BTS. The moment she saw his face on the live monitor waving at the millions of fans who were screaming for him, she realized that he is not her Tae anymore but V of BTS. When even a glance towards his side became difficult, she got enlightened that he didn’t just leave her town that night, but he has left her very roots.

Remembering her place on the stage, she held on the mic and put her acting into use by taking the role of a MC who never discerned the difference among the artists and an ex-lover.

Soon, she found herself sharing the stage with him at the same time. His stare burned her. Not knowing where to see and what to do, she stood with a blank mind, staring into the blank space between the stage and the audience. The fringes which itched her eyes never got disturbed by her hands which got frozen by his obvious look. She never wanted to meet his eyes, but her hindsight had him. Knowing his obvious gaze at her, even breathing seemed to be uncomfortable.

He lost himself at the sight of her who once filled all his life. But it was then he realized that she had diffused in him like the salt in the sea. At the distance where he can just stretch his hand to grasp hers, he stood fixated, unable to close that gap.

Gripping on the cards and carrying her dress, she took her steps towards the centre of the stage after their acceptance speech got over. But when she heard him pronouncing ‘Sohyun-ah’ to greet her, she felt the blizzard of thoughts bashing inside her like a storm. Like an island, she felt the darkness encircling her. She learnt that the sun which gave her warmth can also burn her with the heat.

The moment he saw her walking away from him after just a bow, in that fraction of the second, his mind out. He gathered his sense when the members discussed the performance. He listened to them, but the only thing that resounded in his mind was, “The daily life that I live without you, is that a life?”

The time sure gave them hindrances beyond blockages.

As soon as, he finished his performance, he rushed backstage to find her, but he couldn’t. The after effects of performance, never allowed him to run in search of her. Nor the staff allowed him to wander around the backstage.

While the members were on the cloud nine on receiving the award… somehow, at that moment, Taehyung’s cheerfulness got overshadowed and he felt lost. Members who knew the reason behind his grief, let their silence and existence accompany him.

But Jungkook came forward saying, “You’ll get another chance…”

“So, ‘Let’s wait for another year’, is that what you’re saying?”, Jimin commented on Jungkook’s futile effort to comfort him.

Suddenly, Taehyung’s eyes lit up. Regaining his spirit, he held Jungkook’s hands saying, “You’re right! A genius! We need a chance…”. He dragged him out without saying anything else. While rest of the members stood dumbfounded, Jimin ran after them to prevent any incidents.

Holding Jungkook’s hand tightly, Taehyung knocked on someone’s styling room. Reading the name tag on the door, Jungkook got flustered and tried to break away from his hold. Before he could break free and before Jimin could stop them, the door opened.

“What a pleasant surprise! Haven’t see you in a while!”, Taehyung said forcing an excitement over his face, and his eyes sneakily looked into the room in search of her.

“She isn’t here!”, Yeri put a full stop to his search.

Taehyung nudged Jungkook saying, “Greet her! She is the one who got swept in the dating scandal with you!”

His words flustered Yeri.

“How are you, Yeri-sshi?”, Jungkook threw in a nervous smile. And Jimin who felt awkward with the situation, bowed greeting her.

Taehyung raised his brow signalling Jungkook to speak up. “My friend wants to ask you something…”, Jungkook started.

Jimin joined saying, “We told our friend that you wouldn’t judge him for asking such request. But he would not listen…” Taehyung felt pleased at his words and nodded along smiling.

“Can my friend ask a favour?”, Jungkook asked her. “We wouldn’t want you to think it’s weird that an idol-”

“Don’t beat around the bush!”, Taehyung’s instruction interrupted him.

“He likes someone!”, Jungkook abruptly told her.

“Tsk”, Taehyung’s words escaped unconsciously as he got pissed off at his declaration, “I haven’t told her yet… that I still like her!”

“But he wants to tell her…”, Jimin spoke.

“But I’m scared. There is some 10 % of hesitancy… What if she said no?”, Taehyung spoke his thoughts.

“Wait, wait, wait!”, Yeri stopped their drama and asked Taehyung, “So, you are that friend?”

Jungkook nodded and said, “And your friend is the one, my friend likes…”

“Which one is it… Among my friends?”, Yeri asked messing with Taehyung’s temper.

Taehyung took all her hits and calmly pronounced, “Kim. So. Hyun!”, stressing every word.

“There were many articles about your relationships… that’s why I asked to confirm!”, Yeri rubbed the salt.

“I understand… There were articles about you and Jungkook too, right?”, Taehyung fought back.

“What do you want?”, Yeri yielded.

“I want to meet her… to seek for forgiveness…”, Taehyung spoke through her with his sincerity.

Yeri hesitated at first, but his intention to apologize earned a soft spot. She can’t make decisions on her behalf and at the same time, she didn’t want her to fall into the loop again. After suffering the complex dilemmas, “I’ll ask her…”, she said reluctantly.

Taehyung smiled and said, “Thanks…” and turned towards Jungkook saying, “Get her number…”

“Huh?”, Jungkook flustered.

“For discussing the meet up…”, Taehyung calmed him

Seeing Taehyung getting ahead of himself, Yeri said firmly, “But, if she says no, then it’s a no!”

Taehyung nodded and took his leave while whispering, “Jungkook-ah, delete her number after I get Sohyun’s, ok?”

Yeri fumed at his audible whispers and slammed the door shut expressing her displeasure.

Weeks went by as they spend their time waiting for the schedule to clear out. Despite Yeri’s warnings, Sohyun accepted his invite for a meetup. As per the best friend’s conditions, the meetup arrangement and messages were passed on only through Yeri and Jungkook. Rather than a date, Yeri insisted using the words ‘meetup’, thus emphasising and reminding the purpose for the meet.

Even on the day of their meet up, Yeri tried her best to convince her into not meeting him. But, seeing Sohyun dressed up in a casual tee and skinny jean made her feel relieved. “It’s good that you know it’s not a date!”

“Yeri-ya… I know I clung onto him in the past… But things have changed… I have changed…”, Sohyun said softly.

Yeri hugged her tightly giving all her luck to Sohyun. “I’ll be always on the standby. So, call me when you feel like… okay?”

Sohyun hummed in response and took her leave with a confident smile.

The blue sky soon turned dark and Taehyung arrived at the restaurant earlier and waited for her. When the owner came in to take the order, he saw him taking deep breathes and trying his best to calm his heart. “A date?”, the owner asked, doubtingly, since his casual wear is contradicting his nervous stature.

“A meetup…”

The owner smirked saying, “Guess you’re meeting with an important person…”

He nodded and breathed out his tension.

“Should I take the order after that important person comes?”

“Yes please…” Before the owner exited the room, Taehyung called him asking, “Can you turn on the TV and tune into the historical drama?”

Realizing who his date was, the owner gladly did what he asked for.

“How do I look?”, Taehyung asked adjusting his tee.

“Like a nervous person waiting to meet his crush!”

“Is it obvious?”

He replied with a wide smile and took his leave with the unopened menu book.

Unlike that date, this meetup gave him chills. Rehearsing the conversation, he waited while looking out for the sounds of her footsteps.

Instead of sound of the heals against the marble floor, like he had expected, he heard the soft squeaks of shoes. He immediately rose on his feet adjusting his wrinkled shirt and combing his soft and lush hair with his fingers. As the sound of the footsteps approached, his heart beat rose and blurred his vision. Taking deep breathes again, he tried to gather himself.

As she walked into his vision, he stood dumbfounded in a daze. But, her poise, her hesitant eyes and inaudible voice hit his senses. As an exclusive search, his eyes fell on her clear eyes, cheeks which always bore a tinge of pink, her lips that spoke and kissed him.

Gripping the long strap of the handbag that extended till her waist, she walked up to him with confident steps and reluctant eyes. As she passed by him, his gaze that never gave her space to tuck her long velvety hair behind her ears, stayed brushing her cheeks. But to her, it was a déjà vu for having been experienced his relentless eyes on her during the award ceremony. Emotions shot up the hormones recklessly and heat rose to her face which condensed as the thin layer of tears lining her eyes. As they stood in the vast silence, the owner never dared to intrude and left the frame.

There was a resounding pain which extended from her heart to temple.

The surge of inexplicable emotions chocked his voice.

Love never came when they searched for it. But, when love came unannounced, their heart shouted out aloud.

The eyes that meet never ceased the relentless gaze.

“How are you?”, soft and gentle voice escaped through his breath.

Rather than a reply, “And you?”, she asked as tears welled in her eyes.

“Did they tell you I was sick? Or gonna retire from the industry? Or disbanding?”

As she shook her head in denial, he gave her a wide smile while listening to her saying, “I read the article… that you are gonna release a new albu-”

“Can I hug you just once?”, he beseeched cutting in her sentence.

At the mention of his question, she stepped in and hugged him without another word.

Their love rested in what they saw as the unseen… Love existed by itself and as everything else. Like the moon which waits patiently in the sky, even if the night leaves it; their love lived within each other even when their body separated from each other.

Before he could decipher the moment and hug her back, she withdrew immediately. Wiping her tears that rolled down her cheek, she said, “Don’t look at me! I’m crying like a child…”

Before the tears could escape his eyes, he wrapped his arms around her, tightly holding her in an embrace.  Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he said, “I can’t believe you’re here… It feels like a one-day dream…”

At the fall of his tears over her shoulder, she felt a growing pain in which plundered her words. Breaking the hug, she shook her head repeatedly refusing to lose herself in the moment.

Reading the confusions in her face, he spoke, “I didn’t mean to disturb you… Sohyun-ah. I just wanted to say sorry…”

She broke her gaze away from him and looked down to hide her tears under the eyelids.

Through the stifling emotions, his words struggled, “I’m sorry… for having been so difficult… for letting you go… for having met you… for falling in love with yo-”

She interrupted him saying, “I…”, with tears blurring her vision she handed over a necklace, “I… came to return this!”

Understanding what she meant by the return of the gift that she had been keeping safe all long, the pain grew and resounded inside him. He shook his head and tied the hand that was wearing the couple bracelet behind him, while refusing to receive the necklace. His reddened eye fought back his tears as he desperately uttered, “Did you ever think of me?”

“Every single day…”, her whispers told him while stretching out her hand to return the necklace.

The instant her words reached his ears, he wrapped her in an embrace. Breathing out his relief on her shoulders, he smiled.

Not hugging him back, she spoke softly, “I’m leaving for Australia… and I won’t come back… to you”

His smile vanished without a trace. He freed her from his embrace and his quivering eyes and shivering voice called out softly, “Sohyun-ah…”

“Tickets are already booked… Flying tonight… I just came to say my good by-”

“You think we can live in peace? Our life will be so good together-”, his voice quivered.

“We are opposites”

“We love each other…”

“Stop it!”, she cried out and then her voice softened, “Please…”

“I can bear you not liking me… but you do and won’t admit it!”, he spoke spitting the truth gently, “But I admit! I love you whole heartedly-”

“I’m not ready for this…”

“But-”

“Neither are you!”, she cut in his sentence. “We are too different…”, she uttered shutting her eyes tightly, veiling her guilty eyes and his truth-seeking eyes.

Following the language of her eyes, he read out aloud, “You love me…”

“Please, don’t make me cry…”

“Should I beg instead?”

“Please, please… stop it, please…”, her tightly shut eyes which never opened only let the tears slip away.

As her words stung his eyes with tears, he carefully asked, “Give us a chance…”

Sohyun’s phone rang interrupting them. She opened her eyes and slid her hand inside the handbag to get the phone. On seeing the caller id, Sohyun looked at Taehyung saying, “I have to go now… She is waiting for me”

He took a step towards her and with his fervent words, he asked, “Give me this one chance…”

“It won’t work”, she said as she took a step back.

“I don’t want this separation to become our only bond… Separation isn’t a bond!”

She took a step back again saying, “Please hear me… we will just destroy each other…”

His eyes fell on her feet that took a step back. “Sohyun-ah just give me a chance… Just. One. Chance”

No matter how much he stresses the syllables, she looked into his eyes and shook her head refusing to give into his words. “What do I say?”, she uttered helplessly and walked away tearing her gaze away from him.

“Say you love me…”, even his words of frustrations pleaded her as she walked away.

“Bye…”, her tears spoke guilty more than her voice as she left him in the vast silence.

She walked out in a daze towards the car where Yeri is waiting for her. Opening the front door, she took her seat with her clouded mind, hand bag on the shoulder and necklace in her hand.

When she took her seat, Yeri’s eyes found the spiritless Sohyun and the necklace. “What happened? Why didn’t you give the necklace?”, she shot the questions at her.

Her preoccupied mind didn’t let her questions to get to her brain. She looked up at the road ahead which were full of red break lights cautioning her.

Yeri caught on to her silence and quietly drove off to the airport.

While the Seoul city went to sleep, loneliness prevailed, and Taehyung sat with the candle inside the restaurant enclosed by the glass walls. As he stepped out of the restaurant to board his van, he saw the snow which began to spread far and inhaled the air through mouth feeling suffocated by the emptiness that surrounded him.

When the door opened, he was surprised to find the entire BTS group inside waiting for good news. But as soon as his helpless smile greeted them, their questions drowned in silence. after the few taps on his shoulder and grips on his hand.

After they crossed two intersections, he uttered, “I’m hungry”. Those two words were enough to put an end to their questions. Supporting his chin over his palm, he looked out the window blinking repeatedly to not let the tears form but…

When everyone’s eyes sympathised with him, J-hope brazenly asked, “Did you hear her calling you Tae?”

He shook his head negative and with downcast eyes he spoke, “She never even called out my name… While I poured out my yearnings for her and made her cry…”

“Love really hit you!”, J-hope said wearing a smile. “Love is really a fan of lucifer!”, he exclaimed.

His smile puzzled Taehyung. But there was neither another question asked, or another word uttered.

The night which felt long and never ending saw the breaking dawn.

In a few hours after that night, Taehyung got back on track to prepare for a concert. His casual smiles and talks never vanished. The members caught on to his forced smiles and empty words but decided to leave it to time. But the occasional touch of sullenness in his face soon became frequent, which worried them. So, they decided to let Jimin talk things into him after their concert.

After the pass of the waning moon, on the night after the concert, Jimin found Taehyung in the hotel terrace looking at the sky through the eyes of the camera. Hearing Jimin’s footsteps, Taehyung welcomed him with the smile and leaned on his back on the floor while starring into the night sky with the camera. Lying beside him, Jimin asked, “Its dark, do you see anything through that camera?”

Taehyung shook his head.

“Then wouldn’t telescope be better than camera?”

Taehyung smiled at his question and showed him a picture he took after browsing through the files in the camera.

“Wah!”, Jimin exclaimed on seeing the picture. “That’s impressive”, Jimin exclaimed with his eyes fixated on the picture.

“Every frame I captured were the ones that I admired… not taken to impress others”, he said with a sly smile. “That was yesterday’s sky… filled with thousand moons…”, Taehyung described the picture. “Those yesterdays can’t be brought back right?”

Jimin gave his silence to his rhetorical question.

“That’s why I love photography… They are special, because only they possess the quality to freeze time…” Taehyung put the camera over his chest, took out his phone from the pocket and showed Jimin a photo saying, “Whenever I see this picture, no matter how many years passed, I will be 21 only and a young guy in love, in a relationship with the one he love…”

Jimin looked at the photo where Taehyung smiled with Sohyun while they were enjoying a date. “You’re really smiling there… not just showing your teeth”

Taehyung let out a quick smirk saying, “When we started our idol group, there were days I used to be sad… mulling over our unrecognised fame and other things… No one would have noticed, but she would come to me, and just ask ‘What happened?’ That was enough!”, he grinned in disbelief, “That one word had the power of the Sun’s gravity in pulling me away from my misery. It always set my heartbeat racing! Spirited enough to go bash up a bunch of harmless guys…”

On hearing him, Jimin let out a quick laugh and asked, “So what is she to you now?”

“I really can’t explain what she meant to me… or what she means to me now… But all that I wish for is to keep her in my sight always…”

“I think you two bid farewells to each other without shutting doors… that love returned… but it hesitates in a distance. Instead of engulfing it, go near it and talk tenderly…”, Jimin spoke his thoughts.

“I think I professed my love too soon… it was too much for her to take it…”, Taehyung sighed out loud.

Jimin hummed in thought. But as soon as he saw Taehyung’s wide grin, Jimin’s entire being wanted to back down from encouraging whatever Taehyung was thinking of doing.

“So, I have to meet her…”, Taehyung said spirited.

“Again?”, Jimin flustered.

“To apologise…”

“Again?”

“Tsk!”, Taehyung glared at his annoying reminders.

“We have only two days off… everyone is planning to sleep off their tiredness but-”, Jimin left his questioning in the middle knowing that he won’t get the response he wanted. So, he modified his question to, “How are you gonna meet her?”

“I suddenly fell like meeting my cousin, Hwayoung… and coincidentally she is in Australia!”

“Even if she isn’t… I think you’ll drag her there…”, Jimin muttered.