fly great escapes with you

 

 

Sooyoung’s hand reached the table with a loud bang. Joohyun didn’t even look up, she continued typing away on her laptop.

 

“No,” she said. These days, Sooyoung decided that she would persuade Joohyun into going somewhere with them, to get her out of the sweet cocoon of her room. After the night at the pub, she kind of, sort of pulled herself together to finish the article—and while on a roll, she finished another three. Working on the fourth. This was a miracle on its own, and Sooyoung was so adamant on ruining it for her.

 

Joohyun peeked at Sooyoung. She quickly saved her document. Turned out it was a wise thing to do because the next thing she knew was another, slightly smaller bang, as Sooyoung slapped the laptop shut.

 

“What if I didn’t save?” Joohyun asked, eyes unimpressed as she took in Sooyoung’s worked up expression.

 

“I know you, you nerd, you save after every freaking word,” she rolled her eyes, hands still pushing on the laptop to stop Joohyun from opening it again. “Now, that I’ve got your attention—we’re going to the beach.”

 

“It’s half a day away. I’m not going.”

 

“We’re gonna camp there and head back the next morning. You can afford two days of chilling. I also know that you’re ahead of your work. You can’t say no.” Her hand moved to ruffle Joohyun’s hair but midway she thought better of it and pulled back.

 

“Who’s coming?” Joohyun narrowed her eyes.

 

“Just the four of us.”

 

“Who’s driving?”

 

“Wendy.”

 

Joohyun thought, bitterly, of how lovey-dovey these two will be on the trip. Her mind unhelpfully provided her pictures of them as Wendy is driving and Sooyoung sits on the shotgun, their hands intervened halfway. Or them kissing in the sunset and making Joohyun take photos of them doing so, oblivious of the brewing fury in her stomach. That was—not ideal.

 

“I’m not going.”

 

“Why? Is it because of Wendy?” There was something else behind the question and Joohyun felt like she needed to tiptoe around it.

 

“I like Wendy,” she said. She wasn’t lying at least. “I just don’t feel like stuffing into a car, travel for like 10 hours, bathing in sweat and dirt to get 2 hours of relaxation on the beach. And I hate camping.”

 

She was a simple woman. She liked her place air-conditioned, preferably squishy clean and uncrowded. She liked taking cold showers during the day if it was too hot outside and especially liked if she didn’t have to watch her soulmate kiss her best friend. And this trip symbolized everything she hated.

 

(Besides all the reasoning, the number one reason was that spending a lot of time with Wendy, crowded in a car was not good for her. She was already too deep.)

 

Sooyoung narrowed her eyes, “You two are awfully awkward since we watched Yeri’s performance. Did something happen?”

 

Joohyun hoped that the panic she felt didn’t show on her face. She waved.

 

“Nothing happened. We’re awkward by default, that’s all.”

 

That was not all, but Joohyun didn’t feel like admitting that what she thought was fatigue indulged delusion of maybe liking Wendy a bit too much than it should be allowed in these certain circumstances, was real. Too real. The next day of the performance, she woke up from a dream full of kisses and cheesy lines shared with Wendy, and worst of all she enjoyed them. She woke up giddy and giggly until the moment it dawned upon her that she was in trouble.

 

Sooyoung considered for a second, then simply scoped Joohyun’s laptop up.

 

“Never mind. You’ll come. I’m going to hold your laptop in hostage until the end of the getaway,” she said, the smile on her lips seemed fake. Joohyun had thought about fighting with her—and probably winning her laptop back—but she was not spending nearly enough time with her friends again, so a weekend on the beach wouldn’t hurt, right?

 

(She didn’t want to admit how she badly wanted to see Wendy, too. They met from time to time but it wasn’t enough to ease her hunger.)

 

“Are you sure Wendy is safe to drive? No offence, but she looks like someone who is a disastrous driver.”

 

Sooyoung’s smile turned into a true, bright one—it was the toothy smile that made Joohyun’s warm and glad she could do something for his friend.

 

“She has a license,” that’s all she said.

 

“Hey, that wasn’t what I asked! You have a license and you drive like a madman!” Joohyun squeaked. Both her and Yeri held traumas from sitting beside Sooyoung while she was driving and she would not sit beside someone as a horrible driver as her. She was still too young and she swears the few grey hairs she had were all from Sooyoung’s driving.

 

“So, pack your things we’ll go early tomorrow.” She walked away, laptop under her armpit. She threw a flying kiss at her friend and winked.  

 

“Park Sooyoung, answer me!”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“We… Why do we always find ourselves waiting for Sooyoung?” Wendy asked loudly, breaking the silence as she looked at her wristwatch. Joohyun grunted something inaudibly; she wondered how the hell she managed to get there earlier than Sooyoung when she knowingly left the house later than supposed.

 

Last night Yeri told her the details of the trip and that she and Sooyoung will pick up the rented car and later they’d pick to other two up. To avoid any awkward moment that might arise, Joohyun risked Yeri yelling at her for being late. And still. She was there, Wendy by her side in a cute little flowy dress that made her irresistibly huggable (and her looked great in it) and no sight of the devil duo anywhere near.

 

Joohyun felt like an idiot. While Wendy was dressed all cute and suited for a beach trip, the soul mark on her wrist too bare, too visible; Joohyun was sweating profusely in a long-sleeved shirt because she wouldn’t risk anyone spotting her mark. She’d already come up with an even though embarrassing but usable lie. She had a pretty bad rash, yes it was contagious and it would get only worse if it got wet. Both Sooyoung and Yeri gagged hearing it and were horrified when Joohyun wanted to show it to them. A success, she believed.

 

“That’s our lives. Waiting for the princess to arrive.”

 

Wendy nodded, looking at Joohyun’s miserable form. She was drenched in sweat; somehow they managed to choose a place with little to no shadowy space. She was sure that she’d died without realizing and this was hell because firstly, it was freaking hot and Satan could chill with this temperature and secondly because temptation was standing beside her and staring at her with doe eyes.

 

Suddenly, Wendy began to rattle through her handbag, pulling out a small fan. She held it out for Joohyun.

 

“There. You look like you need it.” Wendy cocked her head aside, bangs falling into her eyes—and no, Joohyun couldn’t afford to lose it right now.

 

Yes, this was indeed hell.

 

She took the fan gratefully with a blunt ‘Thanks’. 

 

“Do you have any idea who could it be?” Joohyun asked and she nodded towards the soul mark that Wendy was flaunting so freely. She knew she was walking on thin ice but it was ebbing away in her and the words stumbled out of without thinking.

 

Wendy looked up, surprised, and then looked away. Something had passed between them for that mere second when their eyes collided but Joohyun couldn’t put a name on it. She felt electrocuted and her limbs froze.

 

“No idea,” Wendy whispered. Her gaze flickered down on Joohyun’s clothed wrist and then to her eyes. “Any luck on your side?”

 

“No,” at least she was telling the truth. She was as unlucky as someone could get. This was how she lived her life.

 

Wendy hummed. She looked like she wanted to say something else but she pursed her lips into a thin line.

 

“You know, I’m kind of scared of soulmates,” Joohyun said—but she didn’t know why. She didn’t know why she shared this. Wendy wouldn’t care, right? She felt like she could tell her because Wendy was the safest person she’d ever had the luck to meet. Wendy furrowed her eyebrows and looked at her like she was trying to solve a puzzle but a piece was still missing.

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe because it’s not a promise. The universe says that yeah, you two belong together—but there’s no guarantee that you would stay together. Like Sooyoung and Seulgi. The universe put them together, made them perfect for each other—and why? Just so that they could get separated. It’s a one chance thing, if you blow it you’ll be forever doomed for loneliness. I think it’s cruel. And scary.” As Joohyun talked, she couldn’t risk looking at Wendy because she felt like she was spilling a bit too much already—and felt like Wendy could see through her if their eyes met. Shame and embarrassment filled her as the silence stretched between them. “Ah, I’m sorry I’m like this. The hot weather is messing with my mind and I’ve been cooped up in our apartment for way too long for me to even attempt a normal conversation.”

 

She felt a tender touch on her arm and slowly, she glanced up from under her lashes. Wendy was studying her face.

 

“You don’t have to be ashamed because you feel like this. I understand,” she said. The sincerity in her voice told Joohyun that she wasn’t miming, she really understood how she felt. This was a first—there was no one yet who told her that they understood how she felt about soulmates. No one shared the sentiment or at least tried to accept that she had this fear.

 

And it was her soulmate, after all.

 

She wanted to ignore the growing fondness in her heart but it was impossible to do so.

 

“It’s a hard thing to understand—why the universe plays us like it does—and you know what, I don’t want to understand it. I don’t want to know why it offered us to find our soulmates if being soulmates are real after all or it’s just our mind desire to believe that the same soul mark means that we are destined to be. It’s easier to accept. People don’t want to think they’re alone.” Wendy’s grip tightened around the material of Joohyun’s sweater.

 

“I would prefer not knowing who my soulmate is,” she said absentmindedly. She wondered whether or not she told too much, led Wendy to discover that they were soulmates. Wendy’s eyes stayed on her face for a moment too long, something like pain reflecting in them.

 

“I would prefer, too.” Her voice was so raw that it surprised Joohyun.

 

She also pondered about what would be Wendy’s reaction to finding out Joohyun is her soulmate. Would she be glad? Would she be repulsed? Joohyun had been lying since the appearance of the mark, lying to everyone who was dear to her. Would she think that she was a bad person for this, for trying to protect Sooyoung? Would she think that she doesn’t want Wendy, that she wouldn’t want Wendy as her soulmate?

 

There was a dull ache in her heart. Overthinking never did anyone justice.

 

“Wendy, I—” she began but she stopped herself. They ended up in the same place when they were at the bar, pulling towards each other yet there was a barrier between them. Joohyun wanted this barrier to get higher so Wendy could not reach her. It was a useless wish.

 

She had to stop it now.

 

“Yes?” Wendy prompted. Joohyun took Wendy’s hand into hers and squeezed it.

 

“Wendy, I hope you’re not as a ty driver as Sooyoung or I’ve to decline the invitation to join the trip and go home, hide under my covers and pray that you’d not run over me with the car. I swear to God, sitting beside Sooyoung in a car is a traumatic experience I cannot forget,” Joohyun rambled as she watched Wendy’s expression turning from bitter to surprise to mirth. It was a nice change, whenever she talked with Wendy there seemed to be a permanent furrow of her brows and only smiled when Sooyoung was around. She liked this.

 

“I can assure you—I’m worse,” Wendy’s smile was wide and toothy, eyes full of mischief.

 

“Then, thank you very much for the invitation, I have got urgent things to do. Goodbye.”

 

“Nah, rest assured I’m not the ‘run over everyone’ type. I’m the ‘I refuse to go faster than a snail’ type. I hope you’ve brought something that will entertain you because it’s going to be a long drive.”

 

Joohyun clicked her tongue in distaste, “How did you people manage to get a license?”

 

Wendy shrugged. “Sometimes I wonder, too.”

 

“That’s not making me less scared, you know.”

 

A car honked and both of them winced in surprise. Then Sooyoung’s head peeked out of the car with a wide smile on her face, pushing the horn again. “Beep-beep es!”

 

On the other side, Yeri pushed open the door, some 80s bubble gum pop playing in the background. “Get in losers, we’re going on a trip!”

 

Joohyun made a mental note not to leave these two alone again anytime soon because of trouble but make it double. Besides her, Wendy let out a long sigh and shared a glance with Joohyun. Not only the driving style would make the trip longer than necessary but the devil duo too.

 

“I already want to go home.”

 

 

***

 

 

Joohyun was about to strangle them. Life without friends didn’t seem that bad at that very moment. Or she just needed to ditch them and get some new friends—but she was too old to get new friends. She literally went nowhere she could get new friends—her social life was pretty much dead. Plus, that was a whole lot of awkwardness and she was not about to do that. Friendless that was it.

 

Yeri was screeching the lyrics of Eye of the Tiger beside her, while Sooyoung gave out guitar solo impressions. All the while, Wendy was going with like 50km/h on the highway, knuckles white as she held into the stirring wheel and other cars honked for a long time as they passed beside them.

 

Joohyun just wanted a passing moment of silence. Just a moment when someone wasn’t screaming in this tiny, closed place; when there was a break between quarrels so she could quickly recharge.

 

She counted back from ten to one, for like the hundredth of time but it didn’t calm her down. Her palms were prickling with a desire to fight the two and her leg to push the gas pedal until they were going with the maximal speed.

 

The music changed to Barbie Girl and Joohyun lost it.

 

“Okay,” she began as calmly as she could. “Please Wendy, as soon as you find an exit, let’s go there.”

 

“Why?” Yeri asked, puzzled by her reaction.

 

“I need a break from you,” Joohyun deadpanned.

 

“But it’s the start of my road trip playlist! The hottest tracks are still back, you can’t kill the vibe right from the start!”

 

Joohyun looked at her and the hell that had been raging in her must have reflected in her eyes because Yeri gulped and understandingly nodded, silently agreeing that yes, a break would be nice indeed.

 

“I think there’s one a few kilometres away,” she told Wendy. The driver nodded, her eyes already searching for the said exit.

 

“You’re such a party-pooper, Joohyun,” Sooyoung moaned but she knew that she could only get away with it if she slowly lowered the volume of the radio. She did so.

 

“Be grateful I warned you before I lashed out.”

 

Joohyun felt the momentary calmness surround her, the windows down and the wind catching into her hair. She couldn’t remember the last time she was on a road trip. They missed them—they were always fun and she was sure this would be too once she got adjusted to the others. She was a tad bit hot but she could manage. She took in deep breaths, trying to recharge as quickly as she could because she knew her friends and they could go without talking only so much. When she opened her eyes, Wendy’s dark ones caught and locked them into a merciless gaze. She looked worried as her eyes ran up and down on Joohyun’s face, back to the road for safety reasons and again on her.

 

She glanced at Yeri, who was sitting beside her to make sure she wasn’t paying attention—she didn’t, she was busy sulking about her ruined road trip party—and she mouthed ‘I’m okay’. Wendy looked relieved, turning into her signature smile that made her cheeks fuller.

 

(She wanted to pinch them.)

 

“What are you smiling at?” Sooyoung asked intimately from Wendy but the car