Chapter 7

Warning: Mention of abuse

“Mark, are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? You seemed really serious.” Jungwoo said feeling a bit worried.

Mark shook his head, “It’s not a big deal.”

Jungwoo sighed, then press his lips into a line, “Fine,” he said then took a breath before he began to explain to Mark, “It’s hard to admit this...but what if it’s possible Lucas...might actually like me,”  Jungwoo was so hesitant on even saying that. He could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth. Mark furrowed his eyebrows but before he could say anything Jungwoo continued, “I know it seems crazy, it's just these past two weeks he’s been driving me crazy. The things he’s been doing, it makes me want to believe we could be more.”

Mark shook his head squinting his eyes, “I don’t know Jungwoo, I just…” Mark wanted to tell Jungwoo how bad he felt things would turn out, how there didn’t seem any way Lucas could like Jungwoo back, but what could he do? Jungwoo was in love, and Mark wasn’t about to stomp on Jungwoo’s feelings. He wasn’t about to tell his friend there was no chance, but what else could he do to protect him? “Why…why exactly do you feel that way?” Mark said softly, not sure how exactly he should go about the situation. Maybe it was possible, Maybe Lucas felt some way towards Jungwoo.

Jungwoo bit his lip gathering up all his thoughts, “Last week, when we were over at my house, when he ate cookies that day, something happened,” Jungwoo hung his head low, he didn’t know how to tell Mark.

Mark swallowed, he knew exactly what Jungwoo was going to tell him, and he took a sigh, “I know, I saw what happened,” he said before Jungwoo could continue.

Jungwoo’s eyes widened, leaning back a bit, “You...saw?” he tried thinking back to that day to see if he had remembered if he saw Mark, “How?”

“Yeah, I kinda came in earlier than you thought. I...don’t know what to say,” Mark said remembering the scene of Lucas and Jungwoo.

“That's...when it all started. Then he started meeting up before school after that had happened. Today...he even hugged me before you came, and..he held my hand,” he watched for Marks reaction. Not surprised, Mark stood up with a fist. Jungwoo pulled Mark back down, “Mark, I don’t want you to get mad. We both know Lucas if anything all this is just his way of teasing me, and I just want to believe there is more to it.”

“I don’t care, this, I need to get straight with him,” Mark said turning to Jungwoo angrily.

“No,  These past two weeks have been hard. I mean I try to be happy. In the moment it feels amazing, but I always end up hurting, I think about what you tell me, and it eats at the back of my mind, and I completely understand where you are coming from, but what am I supposed to do. I just...can’t do this anymore.” Jungwoo said then took a deep breath, “But I don’t want you to do anything.”

Mark furrowed his eyebrows confused, “We need to do something, how are you ever supposed to move on?”

“You right, but that's why...I want to do it. I’ll tell him how I feel.”

“Jungwoo,” Mark started, “You, can’t.”

Jungwoo shook his head, “I can, and I will. I don’t want to avoid this,” he said getting up from his bed, “Hey, maybe everything will turn out fine,” Jungwoo said with a weak smile. It was the fact that Jungwoo was at his breaking point, he had to do something before his feelings would consume him, and Mark knew that.

Mark watched as Jungwoo walked to his bathroom to get ready for bed. He fell back onto the bed and covered his eyes with both his arms. He wanted so bad for Jungwoo to be happy, but he knew even if he tried to do something it wouldn’t be much help. He hated that he had so much doubt about the situation, but he couldn’t help it, despite all the evidence Jungwoo laid out he just didn’t believe. He could even tell  Jungwoo still had his doubts as well.

It was the next day, and Mark looked at Lucas and Jungwoo laughing to each other in the back of the class. Despite the smile on Jungwoo’s face, he could see the slight falter in Jungwoo’s smile as he looked at Lucas. He didn’t know When Jungwoo was going to tell Lucas, and all Mark wanted to do was make sure nothing would go down, at least not today.

When class ended Mark wanted to go straight to Sicheng, but he knew his friend was more important, especially now. He met up with his two friends after class and gave Jungwoo a reassuring smile. “Let's go,” he said. Today he’d go with his two friends home.

Mark walked close to Jungwoo as they walked themselves down to the bus stop. He watched Lucas’s every move. Nothing much was different today than usual, so he assumed Jungwoo wasn’t planning on telling Lucas that day.

The bus came quickly and the three boys got on. Per usual Lucas and Jungwoo sat next to each other, while Mark sat behind them. He watched the two closely, and they seemed happy. If Mark had to be honest, he loved seeing his two friends smiling and laughing with each other, he just hoped that it wouldn’t change.

Soon enough the bus got to Lucas’s stop, and he got up and left after saying goodbye to the other two. Mark Quickly got up and sat down where Lucas had been sitting. He looked to Jungwoo as the bus began to move away, “When are you going to tell him? I was worried you’d tell him today,” Mark said with a concerned smile.

Jungwoo shook his head, and extended his arms out in the air stretching in his seat, almost hitting Mark in the process. “I’m planning on telling him this weekend when he and I hang out,” Jungwoo said settling back down in his seat.

“Are you sure you really want to do this?” Mark asked.

Jungwoo silently nodded his head, then looked out the window.

The bus ride soon ended.

The next day came, and since he wasn’t worrying about Jungwoo to much, most of his thoughts that day consisted of Sicheng. He felt bad telling him he was going to meet up with him again, yet not doing it.

When school ended he walked with his two friends to the bus stop to go home with them again. He didn’t want to, he wanted to see Sicheng, but for some reason, he couldn’t get himself to go. I mean what could he say to his friends? He hated that he kept Sicheng a secret, but he wasn’t ready, he didn’t know how to go about telling his friends to be completely honest, especially now. There was too much going on with his friends to just tell them about Sicheng, but he would eventually have to.

Again everything seemed fine that day on the bus ride home. Mark leaned against the window and just stared out with many thoughts in his mind. When Lucas left, Mark was so deep in his thoughts he didn’t move to sit next to Jungwoo.

Jungwoo found it strange not only that Mark didn’t come to sit down next to him after Lucas left, but also the fact that he was awfully quiet that day. Jungwoo felt bad, he felt like it was his fault Mark was acting this way. Putting all his problems on Mark like that.

Jungwoo turned around and tapped on Marks Knee, “Mark,” he started as he caught Mark’s attention, “I don’t want you to worry about me, You should think about yourself first.”

Mark pressed his lip into a line breathing in with his nose, “I can’t help but worry.”

Jungwoo put on a small smile, he was thankful that Mark was worried. He knew Mark would be there for him when things would happen, but that was also Mark’s downfall. He always worried too much about other people more than himself, “You know you care too much,” Jungwoo let out a small laugh, “I’m glad you care but don’t let my problems get to you. Don’t go home and worry about me, cuz I know you will. The last thing I want for you is to be stressed over a problem that isn’t yours. I’m fine, I’ll be okay. ”

Soon enough the bus came to another stop and Jungwoo got off. He waved at Mark as the bus pulled away.

Mark sat there and thought about what Jungwoo had told him. Jungwoo was right, he cared too much, especially about the people he found most important to him. It was great that he worried but it’s just that he worried way too much to the extent it would stress him out. He hung his head low and knew he’d eventually be home most likely worrying about Jungwoo, and it honestly wasn’t that necessary, at least not to the extant he usually worried. He had to distract himself.

When the bus came to his stop he didn’t get off, instead, he rode the route all the way through again, until it stopped back near his school. He quickly got off the bus throwing his backpack over his shoulder as he ran back towards school.

He glanced at his watch as he ran. It was a bit later than he would have usually came when he had class duty and he just hoped that Sicheng would still be there. He walked up to the door and opened it.

The lights were off in the room, but there was enough sunlight coming in from the large opened windows in the back for Mark to see