Kim Youngwoon had many regrets, and maybe this is one tops it all off. His eyes lowered to the unconcious body of Jongwoon and forced himself not to cry. How ignorant has he been this past few months to the point that he didn't notice the sunken face of Jongwoon, the dark bags underneath all the make up. His fingers trailed on Jongwoon's cheeks and sighs deeply. He shook his head and took his eyes away from him and stared at the resting feature of both Heechul and Jungsu.

It was decided that the oldest members would stand by Jongwoon tonight and in the morning, since the oldest members were the most busy of them all at daylight, the younger member whose schedule can be easily arrange will change cycle with them, specifically Ryeowook, Donghae and Sungmin. Youngwoon sighs and rubs his eyes, it was almost daylight judging from the changing color of the sky. 

He checks the time and noted that it was quarter to 3- almost 2 hours has passed since the Doctor announced Jongwoon's confinement- and It was time to change with Jungsu, he had been guarding Jongwoon for almost 2 hours by now. But, he decided against it as he saw the peaceful look on Jungsu. He could last a few more hours for Jungsu to relax. He turns his attention back to the patient.

"Jongwoon, I promise that i will never be this ignorant anymore of you, so please... wake up.."

...

It has been almost a day and Jongwoon is still lying in bed motionless. Heechul rubbed his hands together as the crease on his brow deepened. He forced himself not to cry, Heechul himself knew that his mouth has no filters and he blabbers on everything even if he knew that he might hurt somebody. That was one of the things Heechul hates about himself. Especially Jongwoon is someone he oftened teased about his clumsiness. His words more or less might have led Jongwoon's depression to grow tenfold and Heechul can see the effects of his words.

He sighs and sunked in besides Jongwoon's bed, his hand trembling as he took hold of Jongwoon's hand and clasped it between his palms. He raised it up till his forehead came in contact with it.

"God, Buddha, someone, anyone.. please just let Jongwoon, my dogsaeng that I failed, wake up. I promise, I will be better to him, I.." Heechul's tears spilled and dropped on the forearm of Jongwoon's arm and trailed on to the bed.

"Heechul-hyung.." A deep voice whispered from behind, Heechul felt a pair of heavy hands on both of his shoulder, probably to help him stop his trembling. He leaned to the touch and twisted his body slightly to lean on Siwon. Maybe it was the guilt that was eating him up since Heechul had been a bully on the confined member, maybe it was because heechul had been very personal on his teasing that caused Jongwoon to lay there on that white bed that Heechul hated to see ever again after his accident a few years ago. He doesn't know anything anymore, all Heechul wants now is just for Jongwoon to wake up. 

To show that delicate smile, to hear his weird laugh, to hear his beautiful voice, to just see Jongwoon awake and alive. 

Heechul would exchange everything just to see that.

...

It has been 2 days since Jongwoon was confined.

Ryeowook played with the cloth on the lunch he made for him and Donghae, its almost 10 in the morning. Heechul and Siwon left a few hours ago, and it was Ryeowook and Donghae's turn to take charge of guarding Jongwoon. Donghae still had a schedule to attend to which will end at 11:30, which means that Ryeowook will be alone with Jongwoon for an hour and half.

He slid the door open, quietly. He teared at the sight of Jongwoon, his hyung whose eyes has been closed tight for 2 days straight. Ryeowook hasn't seen a glimpsed of Jongwoon since the time he was at the hospital 2 days ago. He worked hard to clear the schedule he had today for him to spend the whole day with his Jongwoon-hyung. He placed the packed lunch on the table, took it apart and stuffed the extra food in the fridge that he made for the next batch whom will replace Ryeowook later at night. 

while he was on his knees, stuffing the food inside the fridge. Jongwoon's eyes started to flutter open.

It was bright, is Jongwoon dead? Is he in heaven? 

After a few moments of just blinking, his eyes adjusted to the light and realized that the bright light came from the window. He recognized the structure of the room as a hospital room. 

No, it couldn't be.

He was saved? he didn't die?

Jongwoon sat up and tiredly looked around the room. He saw Ryeowook, stuffing food inside the fridge besides the closet.

Jongwoon was just so tired, he didn't want to breath anymore. He didn't want to be saved. 

He slipped his feet on the side of the bed, quietly taking the covers off himself. He tried to stand up, but his feet were just pure jelly and he fell on his knees. But it made no noticeable sound whatsoever as Ryeowook's still facing the fridge.

He paid no heed and made his way towards the window, opening it harshly, he didn't care if Ryeowook noticed it. He doesn't care anymore. He just wants to rest. To put an end on the hell he called a life.

"J-Jongwoonie-hyung?" Ryeowook called out, but Jongwoon ignored it and stepped on the window frame. He saw the dark and murky clouds, which indicated an upcoming rain fall and he smiled bitterly.

"Even unil the end, darkness always greets me first." he whispered and threw himself out. 

"HYUNG!!!"