Jongwoon felt that he was at the edge. Like he was standing on a cliff and only one step remains before he falls and disappears into oblivion. He leaned against the van, as the staff sets up the fan meeting. He decided to come early since he had no schedule alligned before the fanmeet and he wanted to a whisk of breath air before he was confined inside the hall and meet the fans of his bandmates. 

He knew that he was one of the least popular members, or maybe the most unpopular. He knew that his mediocre singing voice was popular in the song, but the person singing wasn't, all they needed was his voice. He sighed and took a sip out of his steaming hot coffee and shivered under the cold weather. 

"Hey you!" A person called from the side, he paid it no heed and continued drinking, "Yah! Are you deaf!?" Someone smacked him in the head, he blinked in shock. He looked at the person whom smacked him and saw a staff person who held a frown on his face. "What are you doing chilling around? Can't you there are many things that needs fixing, Super junior comes in 2 hours! Hurry up and do what you are being payed for!" 

He stood there in disbelief for a few seconds, that caused the staff person to turn red. "Move now!" He shouted, And Jongwoon felt horrible really. He was a part of Super junior and here he was not recognize by a Staff person who was in charge of his group. Wow, So that was how low his existence in the group was.

"I'm sorry, Hyungnim.. What do you need me to do?" He asked in a small voice. The gruff man looked around and pointed at the boxes. "Pick those boxes up and move them to that truck over there. Do it quickly." Then the man left satisfied. Jongwoon laughed to himself.

He placed both of his hands over his face as tears threatened to fall. 

This is one of the most embarrassing moment for Kim Jongwoon. He showed his face to the man and he didn't even recognize him as a member, he wore something that basically screamed Celebrity. And here he was carrying boxes for his fanmeet. 

Ahh, who was he even?

...

An hour of carrying boxes, his manager found him and scolded him for doing the work staff had. But he was much more ashamed of himself. But he has to keep strong and smile for the fans, even though he had very little of them. He was ordered to stay in the van and not go out until s arrived. Jongwoon has sharp hearing and he heard the manager curse under his breath and his regret of bringing over Jongwoon early. 

He smiled brokenly as he went in the van. 

He no longer cried when things fall apart infront of him. He wonders idly if this is what people call being broken?

...

The fanmeet started and his eyes locked with the staff personel earlier. He saw the man's face contorted into a twist of confusion and panick, but Yesung smiled at him. Which made the staff personel more terrified and hurriedly went inside and hid away from Yesung's eyes. 

The fanmeet started well and it improved Jongwoon's mood. The fans made him feel good about himself even though he was getting less gifts than the others his fan made it up for him. He had a genuine smile for the first time in a while as he speaks with the fan. he appreciated the little gifts they give him, the beautiful smiles they offer to him. 

He offered the newly arrived fan with a sweet smile, he accepted the card she gave him. "Open the card oppa!" She says sweetly. Yesung nodded and opened the light blue card and saw the hint of bloor read. His brow furrowed and opened it fully. He snorted at what he read.

"LeAve suPeR JUniOr." He reads out loud and drew the attention of Eunhyuk and Kaingin who was besides him. Kangin was about to retort but the staff man held him. Eunhyuk glared at the girl. But all Jongwoon did was laugh. He smiled brokenly once more infront of the girl, who still held on her innocent smile. He mouthed the words that only he girl understood.

The girl was dragged away by the staff, and the members crowded around Jongwoon but all he did was laugh. This was all he needed, just one more push. And then he falls into oblivion. 

He can finally rest.