Jungsu never felt so hopeless in his life. His whole body shook in nervousness and fear as he watch from the sidelines, Jongwoon was carried into the ambulance with the speed of light. It was happening too fast. He was so confuse that he didn't notice the arms that wrapped him, didn't notice the tears that his fellow members shed, didn't know that the manager was infront of him.

"Jungsu. Jungsu." The manager shook him gently as the ambulance's door closed. He didn't know what to do anymore other than break down in sobs. He fell on his knees and watched the ambulance drive further away. "Jongwoon..." He whimpered between sobs. He faced the manager, dread and regret surely written on his face. "I... I could have prevented this.." He muttered, then someone pulled him tight into a warm- almost reassuring embrace. "We could have.. I've always known that Jongwoon was slowly breaking down.." Kangin whispered.

He pulled away and stared at Jungsu in the eyes. "For now, lets go to the hospital." Jungsu nodded and stood up with the help of Heechul. Heechul wrapped his arms around Jungsu, "Lets be strong, Jungsu-ah..." He whispered in Jungsu's ear and moved away. Jungsu nodded numbly and wrapped his fingers with Ryeowwok, who was shivering more than him.

Be strong, Jungsu. For the members... For Jongwoon..

...

They arrived in the hospital within record time. He never thought a van could travel that fast. Jungsu could feel his heartbeat throb in his chest once more, he felt faint with every step he takes inside the hosputal. His last visit here wasn't a nice memory in any way he sees it. He shuffled closer to Kyuhyun, who rubbled his hands over Jungsu's. They arrived at the front desk, and the manager did all the talking. The members was too shaken up to speak either way.

They rushed towards the emergency departmen where Jongwoon arrived at. And they were told to wait in the waiting room for news.

Jungsu dreaded every second that passes by.

He was getting more nervous, more fearful, and more regretful. 

The silence that hovered the room was devastating. It did Jungsu no good and locked himself within his thoughts. 

"Did.." Someone spoke softly, Jungsu raised his head to see Donghae looking at them with teary eyes. "Any of you known of Jongwoon-hyung's situation..?" Jungsu gulped and tried to speak, but he couldn't. He just couldn't open his mouth and speak without breaking down in sobs.

"I... found out a few months ago.." Kangin said, his eyes hovering over each member. Jungsu bit his lips. "I saw him drinking his pills, and... he decided to open up to me..." Kangin tightly closed his eyes to stop his tears from coming out. "He has been suffering for years under depression and anxiety attacks. But, Jongwoon kept strong...Well, until today.." The last few words were barely above a whisper but every person in the room heard it.

Ryeowook struggled to breath as another wave of tears came crashing down and leaned unto Sungmin's embrace, sobbing. 

"Why didn't I notice?" He whispered, "I was the closest one to Hyung.. How could I have not notice it? Why?" He said, his voice a little bit louder. That brought the attention of the room to him. Sungmin tightened his embrace and gently drew circles behind Ryeowook to calm him down. The atmosphere of the room dropped even lower and only Ryeowook's sobs were heard.

Heechul bit his lips and dropped his face on his hands, his shoulders obviously trembling. "I.. don't want to go through what we've gone through with Teukie and Kyuhyun to happen again.." Heechul said, Siwon brought the older into his embrace. "Chullie..." Jungsu muttered. His grip on the hem of his shirt tightened, he could taste the metallic taste on his lips as he bit on his lips again. "I don't want to almost lose another member again." Heechul added between sobs.

"I, too, knew of Jongwoon's situation ever since our debut.." He started, the member's eyes shifted to him. Jungsu wavered if he should continue or not. But, he had to. He opened his mouth, hands trembling. "Every members health file is sent to me as that was my responsibility to know the limits of my members. And i found out that.. Jongwoon suffered depression, but Jongwoon then assured me he won't lose. And I believed him and after years... I forgot about it wholly." 

The room remained silent, waiting for Jungsu to continue. jungsu's palms began to sweat. Kangin placed a reassuring hand on his shoulders, encouraging him to continue. "And I started to see signs, and it was so obvious- How could have I ignored it?" He stuttered. 

"Jongwoon had been eating less and lesser this past few months- to the point that he started skipping meals altogether..." Shindong said, his eyes downcast. "He always give me almost all his meals- and I hadd to force him to eat sometimes.. Was that also a sign?" He asked quietly. Eunhyuk looked up from the floor and looked at Shindong.

"Manager-hyung said that Jongwoon-hyung should lose weight- that he was too fat and should keep watch of his weight." Eunhyuk muttered, "And Hyung was already dieting at that time.." Jungsu's eyes hardened, Jongwoon had liver problems that caused him to gain weight more easily. The fans understand and loved Jongwoon for it- then the feedback from their performance 2 weeks before crossed his mind. 

How cruel can the world be to Jongwoon?

All of them were deep in thought, but was snapped back to reality when the door opened and came in the doctor whom had Jongwoon under.

He had a small smile on his lips as he entered. "Kim Jongwoon is okay now, we managed to get more than half of the sleeping pills from his stomach and he should wake up tomorrow or the day after tomorrow- for now let him rest." Relief flooded each member, and the stress on their shoulder was released as it slumped in relief. 

"But, I suggest that when he wake up... show him that you appreiate him, I've seen many cases like this in the past and some came back after only weeks." jungsu could see the exhaustion from the Doctor's eyes, he could almost feel the stress and fear of the doctor in every cases like this.

So he smiled, a thankful one. "Thank you Doctor- thank you very much." He bowed to the point where his face was inches apart from his legs. The other members followed their leader. "Thank you for saving Jongwoon." 

The Doctor smiled. "Raise your heads, now Jongwoon is transfering room, all of you obviously can't all be in so I suggest you that only 3 will be left in room. Don't be too loud okay?"

"We won't. Thank you very much."