December 31st,

New Years Eve

This night also goes down as one of the most important in my life, right after the day we met.

Your parents weren’t too keen on us going out together, since it was New Years Eve, and especially because it was a college party. I remember the looks they gave me when I came to pick you up. Your dad was scowling the entire time and your mom looked like she was worried sick and nothing had even happened yet.

Not like there was going to be anything of interest at the party but I wasn’t going to let them know that. What would be the fun in that? Your parents were always such sticklers with you, I’m sure it did them some good to let you hang with the infamous ‘wild child’ and his friends for a night. 

The night itself ended up being more fun than I originally thought it was going to. You hit it off with everyone instantly, even though I had to be by your side the entire time. I even promised I wouldn’t drink and kept it through the night.

I’m really glad I did.

Because if I hadn’t kept that promise I probably wouldn’t have been able to remember what had happened towards the end of the night. I was in the hall, watching you sing and dance with Hoseok, Yoongi off to the side laughing his off. I couldn’t help but laugh along with him, though, you two looked completely ridiculous. But I don’t think you seemed to care. You had a huge smile plastered across your face and your arms were thrown above your head. I swear I could feel your laugh resonate through my chest it was so loud.

And then the music died down and the countdown started. Hoseok left to sit by Yoongi and you were left in the middle of the room, looking for me if I were to guess. You looked so lost realizing I wasn’t right there next to you. It only made me smile even more. You finally found me in the corridor, jogging to stand next to me, sliding up to my side. 

There were no other people near us but you didn’t hesitate to stand as close to me as you could. You grabbed onto the sleeve of my jacket, hoping I wouldn’t take notice of our proximity, but I did. I noticed every movement you made, regardless if you wanted me to or not.

As the countdown hit 5, I’ll never forget the moment our eyes locked, and your hand intertwined with mine. The room was roaring, shouting the numbers as loud as they could as the clock ticked idly by.  But, in that moment, I don’t think either one of us seemed to notice. I think we were both to enthralled with each other to do much but stare at one another, until you stepped forward and kissed me. 

It was amazing. 

I had thought about what your lips would feel like on mine for literal months and they were as soft and as sweet as I had imagined, even more so in reality. Everyone around us were cheering and screaming for something we didn’t really care about. In that moment, it felt like we were the only two people in the room.

I remember the smile that split across your face when you pulled back, your hands moving from my neck to my shoulders. I clutched your waist and held you against me, afraid you’d think it was a mistake for some reason or another; but, when you leaned in again, I felt like the world had stopped and I was on cloud nine.

God, Kook, we fit so well together. 

Our bodies, our hands, our lips, every “I love you” that was shared between us- all the things I wish I had realized and appreciated sooner before everything went to hell.

Love you always,

Namjoon