CHAPTER 4: Beneficial

During her stay in Kim residence, Nayoung helped them making soju. Her favorite part is when mixing the hard-steamed rice with yeast, and put them in a liquor jug with water, giving a date label and put them in a room. She also liked hearing a bubbling sound from the fermented jug. For her, it was so relaxing.

Nayoung found peacefulness living in this village with Kim residence. Grandma and Aunt Juri made her taking part in the making of soju, Dongchan always invite her to play together, Mr. Kim told her about the history of soju, Mrs. Kim always cook delicious food, and even Dojae who somehow like to could make Nayoung felt like she was having a big brother. And of course the most important thing, Jonghyun made her feeling all safe.

Nayoung didn’t know what Jonghyun told to his family about her. Surely she knew that Kim family realizing that her being a friend of Jonghyun was too sudden, that they were asking Jonghyun about her. Nayoung even expected that they will treat her differently after they figure it out. But turned out, they still treat her kindly. Really kind even. Nayoung hasn’t felt being loved like this for too long.

Moreover when Mrs. Kim approaching her first.

"You haven’t slept, Nayoung ssi?" asked Mrs. Kim as she opened the door of Nayoung’s room.

Nayoung got up and bowed to her.

Mrs. Kim approached her as she smiled, “Why are you so formal? Just relax..”

Mrs. Kim asked Nayoung to sit on the bed with her. And with her soft voice, she asked, "If you’re not feeling sleepy yet, why don’t we have a chat?” Mrs. Kim caressed Nayoung’s hair as she said, “Tell me, what dishes you like? I will make it for you."

Nayoung was surprised at how caring Mrs. Kim to her. She even answered stutteringly, "T-there’s no need, Mrs. Kim. Thank you. "

Mrs. Kim looked at Nayoung’s eyes as she said, "May I ask something from you?”

Nayoung was surprised by the sudden request, but she had expected it. She was living and eating in her house, it was more than reasonable for her to ask for a little payment. “Uhm? Y-yes. Sure..”

Mrs. Kim reached Nayoung’s left cheek and said, “May I call you, Nayoung? Just Nayoung.. or even Nayoung ah?”

Nayoung’s heart dropped. She suddenly felt really small by thinking that Mrs. Kim wanted to ask for a payment.

“If you let me call you Nayoung, you also don’t have to call me Mrs. Kim. Just call me eomma." When hearing Mrs. Kim said that, Nayoung felt the entire of her body getting warm.

"You can also call Jju’s father as appa. You can call grandma, uncle and aunt like the way Jju called them.  Let's just say we are like a family, Nayoung."

When Nayoung hearing Mrs. Kim said that, she couldn’t hold on her tears.

Seeing Nayoung crying, Mrs. Kim looked confused, "Oh, why are you crying? Are there any words I’ve said that hurt you?”

Nayoung was even more profusely crying. Mrs. Kim who then pulled her into her arms. “It’s okay. Everything will be okay.” said Mrs. Kim while patting her back.

Her soft smell

Her warm hug

All of it was telling Nayoung that she get back a mother. A mother she longed.

Slowly, she whispered, “Eom-ma..”

I’m having a mom again..

Nayoung felt really grateful to have a new family. A family she was dreaming of. Somehow she felt like she was in a dream. If she could, she didn’t want to wake up from that dream.

So when Jonghyun asked her to get ready to go back to Seoul, Nayoung directly refused.

"I don’t want to go back to Seoul. Let me stay here, Jonghyun."

"But Nayoung ah, you have to go back. How do your studies at SNU?"

"I- I don’t want to go back to college. I'm happy to be here, Jju. Let me stay here, please." Nayoung was begging to Jonghyun with all of her heart, making Jonghyun sighed in confuse.

But then Aunt Juri came and told Nayoung,"Nayoung ah, Dojae’s appa asked you to come to the library."

Jonghyun and Nayoung exchanged stares for a moment, before he let Nayoung to go.

Nayoung left Jonghyun alone with his confusion.

Once she reached the library, Mr. Kim directly asked her to come inside the room.  

“Sit down, Nayoung ah..”

Nayoung came inside and sat across the table.

"Nayoung ah, let's talk briefly. You’re in the same university with Jae and Jju, aren’t you? "

"Ye..”Nayoung nodded.

“What major?”

“B-business and Administration.”

"Oh great! Do you want to be a great business woman someday?"

Nayoung didn’t answered.

"Dojae said that your dad is a businessman, so do you intend to continue to run his company?"

Nayoung remained silent.

"Nayoung ah, why don’t you answer my question? Is there something bothering you?" He asked.

"A-abeoji, if possible I would like to work in your factory." Nayoung replied stutteringly.

Mr. Kim was surprised to hear that. "What?"

"I love working here. I am happy to be here.” Replied Nayoung quickly.

"But you have to continue your study at SNU. How could you work here? "

"I-I’m not interested to continue my studies, abeoji." Answered Nayoung while bending her head down.

Mr. Kim heaved a heavy sigh before replying, "You know, to get into SNU, you need to get rid of thousands of other students. Now after you get in, you don’t want to go? Don’t you think it's not right? Is it not fair to them?"

Nayoung was silent for a moment before she replied, still with bending her head down. "But I didn’t like it anymore. Why should I study? I have no reason now. It will be the same with or without me study."

Mr. Kim heaved a heavy sigh. He tried to understand it from Nayoung’s point of view. “All right, then. I'll give you chance to work in my factory. "

Hearing Mr. Kim’s respond, Nayoung directly looked up and smiled.

Mr. Kim then firmly said, "I will ask you to set up distribution and marketing management in Seoul."

“Ye?” Nayoung was bewildered by the words Mr. Kim saying.

"Of course I won’t give you work by mixing the hard-steamed rice with yeast. It can be done by anyone.” Said Mr. Kim firmly.

He continued, “I see your potential to work more than that, Nayoung. Moreover, during two years Dojae in Seoul, our soju sales don’t increase. Maybe with your help, our soju could sell a lot more. How is that, Nayoung? "

Nayoung was still confused by the twist. "So I- I’m not going to work here?"

Mr. Kim smiled. "You're still going to come here. The more soju you could sell, the more often you come back here to take the stock."

Nayoung was confused. Sure, Mr. Kim is really smart to make her didn’t have any other option than to say yes.

Mr. Kim then approached Nayoung and patted her shoulder. "Nayoung ah, you are still young and smart, you shouldn’t spend your youth by working here. Look for a lot of experience out there. Study hard. By doing so, you will be able to be beneficial for you and also for others, as well as for me, your abeoji." He ended his sentence with a smile of encouragement.

Beneficial for others.

A simple phrase with deep meaning. Surely that is what life for. Hearing the words from Mr. Kim, Nayoung felt that she had new responsibility in her life. Not like the past, her life was empty and dry, which is easily blown off.

Nayoung would remember that phrase and use it to sustain her new life. An advice that she got from a perfect father, who was not even her real father.

-00 –

Nayoung then agreed to go back to Seoul. She even helped Kim Brothers lifted some boxes of soju into the car. Before they go, Nayoung hugged Mrs. Kim and promised her that she will return soon. She promised to Mr. Kim that she will sell soju a lot and come back home often. Dojae sneered at how dramatic Nayoung’s separation with his family, no, theirs.

After saying goodbye to the family, they started a trip back to Seoul. Jonghyun observed Nayoung. Different from the time they went to Daegu, this time, her eyes were sparkling like she was ready to live her new life. Jonghyun couldn’t help but to smile.

I hope that sparkling eyes stay there forever.

Arriving in Seoul, they stopped one by one to the small shops to distribute the soju. Nayoung put her attention to the distribution carefully. Kim Brothers didn’t make any objections as Nayoung was recruited to be a 'manager of marketing and distribution of soju in Seoul', that words is used by Abeoji to introduce Nayoung’s position to the family. When finished distributing soju, Kim Brothers decided to drive her home.

Actually, Nayoung didn’t want to go back to her house. If she could, she even wanted to live with Kim brothers. But she knew it was impossible. So she didn’t have another option than letting Kim brothers to take her home.

It was already at night when they arrived at Im residence. After Dojae finished parking, Nayoung invited them to go inside. When they reached the door, there came her housemaid.

“There’s no one inside?” asked Nayoung to her.

She nodded and said, “But Mr. Im will arrive tonight.”

Nayoung got silent for a while and then continued to said, “Bring here the drinks and snacks for my guests..” Nayoung said to her while she was staring at Kim Brothers with astonishments. It was reasonable for the maid making that expression. It because Nayoung never bring friend to this house, moreover two males.

"Please sit down." Nayoung said to Kim brothers.

"Woah, you have a BIG house, Nayoung." Dojae said while gazing around. "The European style comes out really classy. And the super high ceiling looks so extraordinary."

"Yup, extraordinarily... quiet." Nayoung answered bitterly.

"May I get around your house for a moment, Nayoung ah?" Dojae asked.

Nayoung nodded, feeling reluctant in her own house. Then, Jonghyun started the conversation, "You know, Hyung takes architecture at university, so I hope you understand with his behavior.”

“Oh, never mind...” Nayoung answered shortly.

Drinks and snacks were brought by the housemaid into the top of coffee table in front of Jonghyun. She didn’t even hide her intention to observe Jonghyun carefully, like he was a creature that coming out from another planet. Nayoung intentionaly made a cough to stop her maid staring at Jonghyun with that gaze.

Didn’t realize that he was observed by the maid, Jonghyun even started another conversation "Your dad would go home the night. Is it a good coincidence, isn’t it?"

Nayoung remained silent.

"I'm going to wait until your Dad gets home."

Nayoung directly looked up and asked, ”Why do you want to meet my Dad?

“Nothing. I just want to have a chat with him..” Jonghyun calmly answered.

“My Dad is someone who willingly have a chat if it beneficial for him. Time is money. If you spend his time without giving him profit, then he’s not gonna be pleased.” Nayoung told Jonghyun.

“If I want to talk about his daughter, will he still reluctant?”

This time, Nayoung sharply stared at Jonghyun. “What do you want to talk about me?”

Jonghyun took a deep breath before saying, “I want to find a solution with your dad.” Jonghyun paused a moment before finishing his sentence. “Solution for your suffering."

“You know, the solution is I’m out of this house, Jju. That’s what I want.” Nayoung told Jonghyun firmly.

Jonghyun was silent, looking for the way to tell Nayoung better. But then Dojae came and said, “Nayoung ah, there’s a car coming..”

Nayoung sighed. She knew who was coming. Her dad.

Dojae placed himself next to Jonghyun. Shortly thereafter, Nayoung’s dad was coming.

Kim Brothers bowed to Mr. Im, meanwhile his daughter didn’t even want to look at him.

“You don’t want to introduce them to me?” Mr. Im asked Nayoung.

”They are my friends." Nayoung replied shortly.

"Friends?"

"Why? Dad surprised that I have friends?" Nayoung asked back cynically.

The housemaid then suddenly entered the living room again and bowed to Mr. Im.

“Get me a glass of water." Mr. Im said to her.

She said yes and bowed again to him, and went back to the kitchen.

Mr. Im ed his blazer and sat across Kim Brothers standing position. “Please, sit down.” He said.

Kim Brothers followed Mr. Im’s instruction, meanwhile Nayoung sat next to Jonghyun .

“So, for these few days, Nayoung stayed in your house, did she?” Mr. Im asked Kim Brothers after they were being introduced.

“Yes, Sir.” Jonghyun answered.

“Hopefully, it didn’t bother you.”

“No Sir, not at all.”

“Well, please enjoy the snacks, and if there’s nothing necessary, you can leave this house.” Mr. Im said it with polite tone, but Nayoung gave him a sharp glance.

Ignoring what Mr. Im saying, Jonghyun took a deep breath before asking, "Mr.Im, do you know that Nayoung attempted suicide?".

"I know. The university immediately called my secretary to tell.” Answered Mr. Im calmly.

"But why don’t you even try to look for her?" Jonghyun bravely asked, while Dojae was surprised by his brother decision to ask. And Nayoung could only bend her head down.

Mr. Im narrowed his eyes, giving sharp gaze toward Jonghyun. Then he chuckled. “What I do is none of your business, kid.. "

"But it's about your daughter's life. Your daughter even intended to commit suicide. Were you not worried? "Jonghyun said regardless Dojae grabbing his hands tight, trying to stop the words that came out from his mouth.

"My daughter was attempted suicide, why do I need to discuss it with you? Who do you think you are?" Mr. Im replied still with his polite tone.

"I'm someone who care about Nayoung. That's it." Jonghyun said it short but firm.

Hearing Jonghyun’s answer, the corner of Mr. Im’s lips made a curve. "I think it’s not right if two men came to the house of a girl this late at night. Both of you should go home." Mr. Im said it while gesture them to go out.

Kim Brothers stepped towards the door. They stared at Nayoung and bowed. They also bowed to Mr. Im. But before leaving, Dojae told Mr. Im, "I hope you will treat Nayoung better, Sir.. Excuse us. "

Nayoung found herself shaky when seeing them get outside.

I really want to ask them to stay

I really want to follow them

I really want to hold them, because I still want to be in this dream

I’m not ready to wake up

-00 –

Once the door was closed, Mr. Im approached Nayoung and said, "What have you done? How could you have an intention to end your life? Where is your common sense, NAYOUNG?!” He asked with a high tone.

Nayoung could no longer hold back her tears. She sobbed.

"Why did you turn off your cell phone? Why didn’t you answer my phone? "

She remained silent.

"You know, as soon as I got information from university, I immediately booked a return ticket. I missed the chance to meet Mr. Kinoukuchi, to go to see you. But what I’ve got, you weren’t home, you weren’t in campus. Sangjin didn’t know where you were. I only got information from the clinic that you left with a man named Kim Jonghyun. Then I asked some people to check out his house. And you were also not there. I almost called police to report that you were kidnapped. "

When he said his last sentence, Nayoung gave sharp gaze to him, didn’t believe what he was just said.

"But fortunately, Minwo prevented me. I don’t want to deal with Police. Ah, I even had to pay some people to not spread the news" He stopped for a while and looked at Nayoung.

"Then I called your mom. She’s still in Manhattan, she didn’t know that you were trying to commit suicide. And I asked whether you call or not. She said that someone called, telling that you would stay there for a few days. Knowing you have your phone, I tried to call you again. But you didn’t pick it up. Tell me why you didn’t pick up my call?” He asked Nayoung, but she remained quiet.

“Already heard that you were okay, I immediately returned to Japan. " He paused, then started to speak again," If you didn’t turn off your phone, I could know that you were okay sooner, so I didn’t failed to get this project! You don’t know how much important this project to our company, Nayoung!" He said while pounding the table.

Then he continued while making a sigh, "Jumping off the roof? Hah, I still don’t get it, how could you do that? What happened? Are you broke up with someone? Or are you in a poverty? It’s such a fool! It could only done by crazy people or poor people who cannot stand hungry. While you've got everything. You don’t need a man, and you can eat anything as you like. I provide easy access for you to get whatever you want. So, what exactly do you want, Nayoung?"

Nayoung who had been silent, started talking, “You said you give me everything? Yes, that's right, you give everything in the world, except one! Your care. "

"Care? Do you think, i’m looking for you, everywhere, is it not a form of my care for you? "

"That’s not! Time you spend on looking for me, time that you thought it can be shortened if I didn’t turn off my phone. Time! That’s what you care Dad, not me.” Nayoung burst out.

"It's the same." Mr. Im replied softly.

"IT’S NOT THE SAME!” Nayoung said it with a bursting sob. "The time you spend for business, is not the same as you spend with me. Every day, you're busy with your business, while mom even feels happier in America. So, everyhting that you gave me, do you think they could be someone to share stories? Do you think they can give me a solution when I have problems? Do you think they could comfort me when I’m nervous? They CAN’T REPLACE YOU DAD!”

Nayoung paused to wipe her tears. “And this house, this BIG house, that for someone else looked like a princess’s castle, for me is just a hell. HELL THAT I CAN’T LIVE ANYMORE!” Nayoung yelled at her own father.

Nayoung saw her Dad tighten his fists when hearing Nayoung yelled at him.

Nayoung quickly respond, “You can’t stand to hear what I’m saying, Huh? Then hit me! Just hit me like you used to do with mom.”

For a moment they stared at each other. Their eyes met with full of anger and sadness. But then Nayoung turned and left him alone.

[The scene where Nayoung left his dad alone]

#np: It’s okay - Raina

A/N: I know the pace is slow.. But I hope you're still with me.. Please leave omments, Thank you ^^