The attic is stuffy, filled with all sorts of different dirt. Whether it is the dust hiding behind the few furniture he has, the grease and oil he always brings from work, or just random trash that flies in from the single window. Hakyeon told him countless times that he should move in with him, and ditch the inhabitable storage room, but Wonshik loves the sense of freedom.

Everything inside the attic consists out of things he found on the way home, or the way to work. People tend to throw away good furniture for nothing, and being the capable person he is, Wonshik finds it indulging to fix the broken.

The futon is stacked almost neatly next to the few boxes of clothes he owns, but never wears. Occasionally, the mechanic only sports his working clothes, that consist of a used-to-be white tank, and oversized pair of pants in dark blue.

He drops his bag and helmet near the door, the floor creaks in response. Gently, he tries organizing the things in his bag on the shelves stacked on the left side of the door. They’re full, and there’s rarely even place for the things already on them. He put his water bottle carefully, trying not to knock over a few old boxes of unused coffee, then roughly places his keys on the notch of a huge lighter. This is the only way to hide his smoking habit from Hakyeon.

The floor responds to every step of his, not that he makes so many of them, but it makes him wonder whether the hyung living beneath him can hear those annoying sounds or not. Wonshik got used the the wooden noises, and now he finds it homely.

After a quick shower in the second room in his apartment, he unfolds the futon and rests over it. It’s rare that he goes home early as this, even though most people are already asleep by this time. He looks at his phone, noting the hour is just a little past midnight. He should get some good sleep, as the party is tomorrow and he needs to look 'ravishing’, as Hakyeon names it.

It’s warm tonight, and the sounds from different kinds of small animals reach his ears from the nearby trees. He lives in the fourth floor, that should have been a storage floor, but as he rented it, they’ve added a window, for good measure. Now, he can hear the street below him, filled with people laughing, chatting, walking by. Animals - all sort of them, in addition to different weather situations. It should rain tonight, and he decides to close the window.

“I’m going to go with Daehyun, and you can catch a cab.” Jongup tells him, mouth half full with some protein drink. He has been working out a lot lately, and he looks much more built than the last time he showed up for a party. After all, he’s still a 'rising star’, as he calls himself, and has to prove his good looks and acting skills.

Taekwoon nods in understanding. There’s nothing new in this request. Jongup never comes with Taekwoon, as he doesn't want people to start spreading rumors. It was enough a few years back when he dated someone else, they were snapped together, and the agency gave him he'll because of that. Taekwoon would never bring him trouble, because he understands how harsh this world is. One little slip-up, and Jongup’s career could be over. Taekwoon would never forgive himself if that happens.

“He’s going to be here in an hour or two, Yongguk also. Find something to do until then.” Jongup tells him, finishing the drink and throwing the bottle to the sink carelessly. Then, without allowing Taekwoon to say anything or react, he reaches to him, pulling him close and nuzzling up to his neck. The cat watches it from afar, not wanting to get close to Jongup.

“I love you babe.” The taller whispers, and Taekwoon is smitten. He lives to hear those words, to know that his boyfriend is true to him. It’s rare that the latter talks about his emotions, but that’s too, understandable as he gets emotionally invested in his work. Jongup says it’s tiring to express his emotions all day when they’re not real, but Taekwoon knows, and he’s sure of it, that his boyfriend really loves him.

Even if he’s useless.

Even if he’s incapable.

His hyung is fussy as always. This season, he read in his horoscope it would be good for him to make some changes in his appearance, so he dyed his hair to soft golden locks, and walks with bright blue contact lenses on. His apartment is spacious, and he can allow himself walk from side to side constantly, worrying over the younger. His face sports a furrowed brow and discontent complexion. Wonshik finds it funny, he looks exactly how he looked in the past before dates.

For some reason, Hakyeon found peace in confiding with Wonshik before he had dates, in the past. He would text him all day long, asking the same questions over and over, fussing, fussing, fussing. Wonshik learned that he shouldn't pay much attention to it, as Hakyeon is attractive and a wonderful social butterfly - on the contrary of himself.

Hakyeon learned that asking Wonshik what to wear will bring him to a fashion disaster that consist of black, black and torn wardrobe in black. Not because it was his favorite color, rather than the only thing that matches that distasteful red hair Wonshik is always with. Trying to convince the younger to do anything else would earn him a laugh, and some eye rolls.

“Please, just this once?” The older asks, his voice begging, and the other simple laughs again.

“Wonshik-ah,” He tries a pet name, stopping in the middle of his march, in front of the seated man, “Please, I would send you to a hairdresser after this! I promise!” He cries out, and Wonshik does nothing but folding his arms and laugh some more.

“Please, please!” At this point, Hakyeon sinks to his knees and bows, begging formally. Wonshik quickly jumps off the high stool and brings him up.

“Fine.” He huffs out, and even though he smells like cigarettes - which Hakyeon detests - the older hugs him, excited and elated.

“Yes! Yes!” He calls out, jumping, “Thank you Wonshikie, you won't regret this!” He exclaims, and drags him forcefully out. Hakyeon only looks frail, but when the man is excited about anything, he finds his hidden strength, somewhere within the slim, tanned limbs of his.

Wonshik sighs. It’s going to be interesting indeed.

Maybe Taekwoon won't recognize him at first with his hair painted all in dark purple and black. It has been a few good years since he changed anything about himself, Wonshik recalls, and decides that it can't be that bad. He probably just got used to the red.

It’s far too hot, even for a late afternoon, and walking to the hairdresser, Wonshik out of habit wipes his forehead, sweating already. He looks to the sky, seeing the sun setting slowly, breathing in the warm air. It’s great outside, and working most days, he rarely has time to notice the sky. It’s beautiful, graced with soft clouds that drape over the horizon. He tattooed a few on his back, as if reminding himself to look at the sky more, and less on dirty parts of the cars he gets.

He’s snapped out of his daze hearing soft voices from below. Wonshik stops, and even though Hakyeon is whining about being late, the younger hushes him and turns his heels to the alley where the sound originate from. He spots a dumpster, a few boxes and much more trash. It’s all covered in dirt, and smells horrible. There aren't even any cats in that alley, so the scent must be exceptionally revolting.

“What-” Hakyeon is still fussing, “Wonshik! I don't want to be late!” He cries out, only to be shushed again. As the older stops speaking, he can finally hear clearly the soft whines coming out of the large dumpster. He walks in, and his stomach jumps a few times, notifying him that any extra moments in here, he’d hurl, and that would earn him a never ending lecture.

“Hey..” His features soften to the tiny creature trapped in the large dumpster. He gives out a smile, “What are you doing here?” Wonshik asks, and seeing that the animal has a collar, he bites his lip, and brings the tongue piercing between his teeth.

The fragile creature looks at him with fear, and it takes a few steps deeper into the trash. It cried out in pain, and Wonshik immediately rushes to get it. He earns a nauseated look from Hakyeon who looks positively frustrated when he reaches inside and picks out a small, stuttering puppy.

He grins at it, and even though the tiny dog tries to escape from him, he holds it dearly and returns to Hakyeon. The dog momentarily helped him forget how repulsing the odor of this place is, but when he gets to Hakyeon, he can finally breathe and the puppy seems to relax a little.

“Kim Wonshik-” His hyung starts in a lecturing tone, only to be broken by the younger’s pout.

“He looks ditched. Someone threw this guy away, in the trash.” He explains, and starts walking towards where they wanted to.

“You can't be insinuating that you’re taking the puppy with you!” Hakyeon exclaims, but walks after him nonetheless. When the latter doesn't reply, he groans, “You’re living in an attic that you can cross in five steps, Wonshik! You can't take in a puppy! And from the trash!” Hakyeon is always so fussy, it’s irritating now.

“Hyung.” Wonshik begs, and he doesn't really need anymore words. He’s more a man of action than words. They continue their walk to the hairdresser, now as three.

Taekwoon plugs his earphones in, and rests against the bench. He sighs. He doesn't want to sweat in his suit, but on the other hand - he has no choice. Even in the shade, it’s warmer than usual. His raven hair starts to stick to his forehead, and the suit feels uncomfortable already. The man looks to the apartment from afar, and he’s sure he can see the figures of Daehyun and Yongguk, as well as his boyfriend’s.

He has met the two before, and they didn't like him quiet much, but they were Jongup’s dear friends, so he couldn't do anything but let them be. Only a few months later did Jongup say that his presence makes them uncomfortable, since they’re far more wild than he is, and it feels like 'a brick is dragging us down’. Taekwoon understands, since he isn't a very interesting person anyway. It’s a bonus to him too, since it’s the only time when he can go and be outside without going to shops and having to inform Jongup exactly where he is.

He knows that his boyfriend cares about him a lot, and it’s only the little he can do in order to repay him.

He sits in silence, not even listening to anything on the earphones. A few hours pass this way until he finally calls up a cab, gets in and sets his way to the party.

The first thing he notices is how crowded it is. Perhaps it’s the loud music that blasts the whole duplex and roof the party is set in, or maybe it’s the actual amount of people. Taekwoon can't really put his finger on that. He gets in, showing the invitation and heads straight to the roof noticing that Jongup is already there with his other labelmates. Daehyun, Yongguk, Himchan, Junhong, Youngjae. They’re all there, laughing, looking happy as Jongup also laughs with them. Taekwoon’s heart flutters to the scene. His boyfriend is rarely this happy with him.

He sets in a place where he can watch from afar but keep himself busy too. He learned from other parties that rumors can start even if he’ll stare at Jongup for too long, or too intently.

The roof is tiled with glassy tiles, and lined with a tall, transparent fence. On the outskirts of it, there are some medium tropical trees, and soft LED lighting, shining like starlight.

He sits under one of the trees, on a bench offered to those who dislike being in the center. A reporter comes to him after a while, asking whether he’s the new model everyone is talking about, and Taekwoon softly declines the accusation.

The party seem to halt when they pass in whispers that Cha Hakyeon is here.

Taekwoon can hear murmurs of different people exclaiming in awe, how could this Hakyeon person act so and so, bring so and so. He isn't even sure he has seen that man in those parties. He knows that Cha is a successful actor, and ever since his debut, he had nothing but incredible movies and dramas - everything that Jongup dreams of.

That’s why Jongup hates him, and Taekwoon too. It causes him to break down many times, saying how unfair it is, and how Cha is nothing but a that sleeps around for roles. He says that it’s impossible for someone so ugly to get such good jobs when he’s not that much time in the industry.

“Excuse me?” Someone says, and Taekwoon is back to the party occuring around him. His eyes lift from the floor, moving from black shiny shoes, to black tight pants, to a blazer that’s styled with different fake military pins. The face is recognizable, but Taekwoon can't make the click.

“Hello?” The man’s low voice is muffled by the loud beats, and the latter realizes that he hadn't said anything when the other asked for the first time.

“Yes?” Taekwoon asks back, looking finally at the dark purple hair, and the interesting piercings on the man’s brow.

“Can I sit?” The man says, gesturing at the bench. Taekwoon shrugs in reply, and only then the memory strikes him down.

His eyes widen, but he keeps his calm complexion. It’s that mechanic. The one that refused to work without Jongup’s consent.

“Why are you here?” Taekwoon asks, knowingly he sounds rude.

Wonshik smirks and brings a cigarette to his lips, yet to light it. What an odd man, Taekwoon thinks. Does he not care about his reputation at all?

“My friend didn't want to be alone, but he’s a real social butterfly, so I’m left alone.” He laughs bitterly, “And you?” Wonshik lights the cigarette, waving off the smoke, careful not to leave any next to his friend.

“That’s none of your business.” He simple replies, and looks away.

Wonshik laughs, and it bring him back to look at him, astounded.

“I should start translating that to something related to that boyfriend of yours.” Wonshik takes a drag and jokingly says, “How come you’re not with him? Are you two still denying it?”

“Please stop talking about this.” Taekwoon asks miserably, “I dislike the smell of cigarettes, it’s disgusting.” With that, the older gets up and mixes in the party.

Taekwoon wants to be alone in this sea of people. Frankly, he wants to be away from the person that knows so little about him, and yet reads him that well. He grabs a few shots of something alcoholic and heads inside, beneath the roof. He doesn't expect Jongup to be home tonight, nor does he expect him to pay attention to him right now. The man takes the stairs down, reaching to a large apartment, full of actors and other rising stars. He knows no one, and it’s best this way. He takes a seat on the sofa, away from the heart of the party, and drinks the fifth shot for today. At this point, his mind seem hazy, but not enough.

It’s common for him to cry at home after those kind of parties, even though he isn't sure why. Sadness that has no reason, as everything in his life is just as it should be - he lives on his own, with a boyfriend that loves him and works hard. He has the cat he always wanted, and the computer he always wanted, so everything is just great.

But tears keep falling, and this unsettling feeling is too stubborn. Jongup suggested once he'd go to a therapist, but Taekwoon denied the offer. He doesn't want to taint his life with therapy, because his life is good. Taekwoon is good.

After that, Jongup simply told him to it up and quit crying. So he did, when Jongup was home.

Now he cries alone.

“That wasn't nice.” Taekwoon hears the already familiar voice, and groans, turning to the source of it to his left.

In the soft lighting inside, he can finally see how different Wonshik looks from the other times they’ve met. He could have passed for being an actor, if it wasn't for the piercings and tattoos that stick out from the tips of his clothes. Taekwoon wonders how much of the man’s body is actually tattooed, and whether the only piercings are on his face.

“You should stop ogling me, your boyfriend will get angry.” Wonshik snaps him out, from his subconscious scan of the other’s body.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Taekwoon says, but those words mean nothing, probably. And yet, he has a secret to keep, and so he will do.

“You look really lonely.” Wonshik comments after a while of relative silence between them. Taekwoon bites his lip. He isn't lonely, he’s good.

“I’m not lonely.” He replies, and takes another shot. Is it the sixth? He can't recall.

“I'm trying to be your friend, but I also know when to stop prying into other people’s business.” The younger gives him off a smile and gets up, “Stay safe, I’ll see you around.”

Wait, wait. Taekwoon thinks. He doesn't want to be alone right now. He can't even see that well anymore, and the noises from the party sound like one grand cacophony to him.

“What?” Wonshik asks.

“What?” Taekwoon asks back.

“You’re holding my hand.” The younger replies, and Taekwoon immediately drops his eyes to watch the scene. He is holding Wonshik’s hand. When did he do that? His confused look triggers some laughter above him, and the voice sounds like it belongs to that mechanic, but he isn’t sure.

Someone asks him something, but he still looks at their linked hands. It feels odd, holding another hand, and not Jongup’s. His hand is much more bruised, shaped with beefy fingers, when his boyfriend’s is much more delicate and soft. Oh, his boyfriend.

He pulls his hand away, and looks at Wonshik with fear. Jongup won't like this.

“Where do you live?” Wonshik asks him again, perhaps for the third time, and only then the older registers that this is what he has been asked earlier.

He tells him the address, and some time later, he finds himself in a cab, with Wonshik starting at him with intent. As if Taekwoon will break like a ceramic decoration.

The streets move fast, faster than he’s used to, and it throws him off orientation for a little. He’s dizzy, but something- someone is holding him.

A couple of moments later he’s in his apartment.

Wonshik places the man on the couch, smiling at the daze. Taekwoon is drunk, and as a friend, he couldn't leave him alone. Throughout the drive, he heard from him that Jongup won't show up tonight, because of his friends, and that he should be home alone.

“Wonshik-ah.” Taekwoon calls, and it’s the first time he hears the older say his name, let alone in such adoration.

Wonshik hums in response, and crouches in front of the unfocused one. Taekwoon is stunning, even when peppered in red and his eyes are glazed. His dark hair sticks to his face, but those feline eyes are attractive nonetheless, even if hidden.

“Stay with me.” He says softly, “I don't want to be alone.”

Wonshik sighs, “I can't, your boyfriend won't like this.”

Taekwoon frowns, “I don't want to cry.” He says.

“Cry? Why would you cry?” He takes the liberty of moving some of the glued hair, uncovering the man’s eyes.

“When I’m alone, I’m crying.”

It sounds awful to Wonshik. So he stays.

He starts thinking that there might be something bothersome with Taekwoon’s boyfriend, as he carelessly left Taekwoon, and unaware of those tears. Maybe it’s the man himself, or maybe it’s Taekwoon, but something isn't right.

Wonshik decides to sleep on the sofa, while the older sleeps in bed. He will get up early tomorrow, and disappear before he would cause any trouble.

Yes, he would do that.

NOTES:

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