The rain taps furiously on the solemn window in the complex, and Taekwoon uses it do distract himself. He takes time in wearing the suit Hakyeon got him just a day before, unfolding every indent and stretching out the fabric before him.

It's nothing too special- just a black suit, but the last time Taekwoon had anything alike was at his graduation. He eyes the pricy fabric and smiles a little. It should cover everything.

“Hyung, are you ready-” Wonshik shouts from the bathroom, but halts when he sees the other standing motionless in front of the clothes.

Taekwoon doesn’t reply, instead, he keeps watching the fabric. It’s something he never thought he’d be doing, but should be done.

“What’s wrong?” Wonshik comes closer, carefully watching the other’s expression.

A few moments pass before the older turns with a soft reminiscent smile.

“I’m ready.” He declares, picking up his suit and walking to change. Wonshik stays in the other room, dumbfounded, and he looks at his dog for answers. Badass his head to the side and makes a confused  sound, and in reply, his owner shrugs.

Heavy knocks on the door pick his attention, and he heads quickly to open it.

“Kim Wonshik!” Hakyeon shouts, “Do you know how long am I waiting in the car? 15 minutes!” He yells, and steps inside, “Why do you make your hyung wait for you?”

Wonshik starts blabbering an answer, but the two quieten as Taekwoon steps out, wearing the black suit, with his dark hair pulled back and tied. He looks different, so different from before it’s alarming.

“Sorry,” Taekwoon says quietly to Hakyeon, “I was having trouble with the tie.” And walks past them, down the stairs.

There’s some sort of flame around him, Wonshik notices. It’s nearly intriguing to see Taekwoon become so vibrant, unlike the grey washed man he was before. They follow him out, no one saying a word.

Wonshik wants to see what Taekwoon will do.

He sits down in the office, with Hakyeon and Wonshik behind the door, absent from the room to his request. He feels uneasy, but somewhat determined to go through this.

“I’m going to ask you a few questions,” The man in front of him explains, sitting on the other side of the table with a notebook open before him, “I’ve got your file, but I need to know more, is that alright, Taekwoon?”

Taekwoon bites his lip to the sound of his name spoken by a stranger. It’s odd, but he could never get used to other people calling him by his name when they’re not close to one another. He nods nonetheless.

“Can you tell me how you and him met?”

Taekwoon closes his eyes. He does remember bits of it, since it was nearly 4 years ago.

“I was studying for my degree, and he was a new student back then.” Taekwoon avoids speaking out Jongup’s name, “He didn’t know anyone, and I offered to help him. Then, he dropped out of school and decided to become an actor. I told him I have a crush on him, and he told me it’s mutual. Then..” Taekwoon trails off, trying to digest the memories, “We just started dating.”

The detective smiles warmly, soothingly, “Thank you.” He says, and Taekwoon doesn’t know why.

“How was the relationship at the beginning?” The older man asked.

The younger thought for a while, his eyes averting the other’s gaze. He looked at the table, finding many distracting little gadgets on it. It’s painful to remember those days, they were good memories turned back, rotten with time.

“He made me feel wanted for the first time in my life.” Taekwoon mutters silently, his hands picking on one another under the table, trying to cool off some of the sweat. He knew this would be hard, but it’s merely the third questions, and he still has time. There are probably so many other questions that he’d have to answer - for his own good - but he feels suffocated.

“He told me he would take care of me, and do anything for me.” The words cause his stomach to churn. He remembers them in his voice, fresh like a bleeding wound, “He bought me things, and told me that I should move in with him. He really cared about me-” Then he corrects himself bitterly, “Acted like he cared. That was for a while, where everything was about making me feel wanted.”

“What happened later?”

Taekwoon drops his gaze, “He.. told me that if I really cared about him like he cared about me, I should give my everything to him.” He swallows.

“And I believed him. I thought doing less than everything would be ungrateful, and I think-” He frowns, “I think it was because of the way he treated me at the beginning.”

Hakyeon’s eyes are crossing from the man pacing back and forth in front of him.

“Shikie, stop it.” He whispers, but loudly enough for the other to hear, “I’m as nervous as you are, but you can’t keep on going like this.” The older scolds.

Wonshik halts, then passes a hand through his red fiery hair and taking his tongue piercing between his teeth. He looks out of place - a man tattooed and with colourful hair, along with piercings standing in a grey suit in the office. He looks misfited, and it picks on his nerves even more. He isn’t quite sure why he’s behaving like this, he only knows he does, and he isn’t sure where the will to go through everything for someone he doesn’t know really well comes from, he just knows it’s there.

“It’s been an hour and a half.” He tells Hakyeon, who is sitting on the offered chairs in the waiting room. There are other people there as well, each one with their individual story, or so Hakyeon believes.

“I know, Shikie, and I know you’re stressed, but please remember it’s for Taekwoon. The agent said it could take up to five hours.” He tries to calm the younger to no avail. Wonshik finally sits next to Hakyeon, but chews on his fingers instead. Hakyeon winces at that, since Wonshik is a mechanic and it’s disgusting, but chooses not to say a word.

“Did you feel like you didn’t have a choice?” The man, which at this point, Taekwoon notes his name is Jung Yunho asks him.

“No.. not initially.” Taekwoon says calmly, as if nothing of this is bothering him. As if nothing about those memories drives him mad and makes him want to hide for good. To drop the case. To just go back to Jongup and tell him that he’s sorry, and he just wants his boyfriend back, like they used to be.

Yunho allows him to take his time to answer.

“I believed that I’m being ungrateful, that Jongup has done so much for me that’s it’s only natural I’d do this for him, when in reality I don’t..” He takes a deep breath, “I don’t think he did all that much for me.”

“What did he do for you?” Yunho writes something down his notebook, and Taekwoon focuses on trying to read it backwards while answering.

“He always got me new clothes, every week or two, and he took me to a hairdresser often, saying I will look and feel much better after this.” Taekwoon looks away from the written words, “I think.. I think in the end he did all of those things just for his sake.”

Yunho nods, and writes down another line.

“Thank you for everything. Let’s take a break before we continue? I bet your friends are nervous.” Yunho smiles warmly, and stands up, gesturing for Taekwoon to do the same, “Do you think 15 minutes will do?”

Taekwoon nods and leaves.

When he wakes up, the lady that was next to him last night isn’t there. He makes a muffled groan, and turns to face the other side, groggily. He spots her, doing her makeup - which he thinks is ugly but never said so - and she spots him waking up.

“Did you sleep well?” She asks in a loving voice, smacking her lips on one another, spreading the horrendously coloured lipstick on them. Hongbin nods, trying to appear as angelic as possible, he knows this one likes it.

“Did you, noona?” He asks as well, leaning on his arms to take a look at her. She’s been great so far, very lenient with him spending money, and he didn’t have to do much. She wanted him to come with her every now and then to her house, where she’d invite all of her friends and their respected dates, gossiping and bragging about her life. Hongbin on the other hand, would have to join the guys in the balcony, either offered to smoke with them - which he always denied, or join in a conversation about football. He likes football, so he cares less about that, but the life she’s leading is so fake it’s like intervening with a doll house.

She gave him her credit card pretty quickly, telling him that her sweetheart should be able to get himself whatever he likes. So he did, still does.

“Yes, I always sleep well with you, Hongbin.” She replies, and brushes her short dark hair. She’s probably leaving to work at the TV station soon, which is Hongbin’s cue to go home as well.

“But Binnie, you’ve been spending awfully lot lately.” Oh, he doesn’t like the sound of that, “Let’s cut down in the expenses, alright? Make it from three million won to two?”

He hums as an answer, and watches her blankly as she leaves.

He’d have to find a new noona to court soon.

Hongbin has been doing this for a while, and he knows, he knows his life shouldn’t look like this. He knows he should find a stable job, do something he likes and get married like everyone. Live off his own money.

But this is too easy. He’s good looking, and his charisma is well endowed, so he finds himself easily running into one desperate noona from another. They’re all playing pretend, all so desperate for love and other things Hongbin can never give them. So for now, he’s just their pretend-boyfriend.

Some call it ion, but he doesn’t want to think of it that way. He wants to think he’s filling someone’s gap and gets payed for that. Even though he knows how wrong it is. He never thought of himself as a man of virtue.

Still groggy, he finds a taxi home, his apartment not very far from Hakyeon’s. It’s as big as the older’s, and far more decorated. He throws his clothes to the laundry bag, and after changing into fresh ones, ones that don’t reek of the other woman, he sits down to drink coffee. It’s easy living like that.

Around an hour later he texts a friend, asking whether he’d like to meet, but the other declines, saying he has to work. Right, Hongbin has to work too.

He takes his time in finding a good pair of top and bottom that match up and bring out his defined muscles, but also don’t make him look too much like an adult. He settles for a white button shirt, with dark purple pair of tight pants. He throws over himself an expensive coat, cream coloured, and turns to fix his hair.

This noona likes pulling at his hair a lot, and he always ends up with it being messy like that. Each time, he’d spend at least an hour placing it back and make it look more alive.

He doesn’t really care for doing any makeup this time, rather then only covering up some mundane  blemishes. He looks good, and it’s easy to look good like that, so he goes out to an excessively pricy coffee shop, where he’d usually find more noonas.

He has about four noonas right now, each one asking him to be something else, each one pretending to be something else, and with ease, he fits into the role. Acting as their boyfriend of a long time, acting as a newly found lover - each one with her own story she fits Hongbin into. Each one grants him with her dazzling credit card, and allows him to get whatever he wants because he treats them well enough. That’s what he wants to think.

As soon as Taekwoon walks out, Wonshik drags him with outside, so Wonshik could smoke. While the older looks relatively calm, even though somewhat pale, Wonshik looks buzzing. He looks like he could run for a marathon if he’d want to because of the energy rushing through him.

“How did it go? Was he nice, hyung?” Wonshik asks while lighting up a smoke, his eyes never leaving Taekwoon.

The older nods, and watches the rain still going around them, it never stopped ever since the morning, “He just asks me a lot of questions.” He tells, “He’s really nice.”

“Good.” Wonshik breathes the smoke out, “Did he tell you anything about the trial, yet?”

“He only told me I don’t have to be there.” Taekwoon shrugs, and drops his gaze to his now wet shoes, “Are you alright?” He then directs at the younger, seeing how worked up he is.

Wonshik sighs, and a grey cloud comes with it, “I’m.. Worried.” He confesses, “I’ve never done anything like this before, but I want to do it.” He truthfully explains.

“You want to do it?”

“I don’t know why,” He bites his lip, “You make me want to do this.”

“I’m sorry..” Taekwoon replies automatically.

“No, no, it’s not a bad thing, I guess.” Wonshik looks at the dark sky and takes the last inhale of the cigarette, “I guess I’m just confused.” Is all he allows himself to reveal, and walks back inside.

Taekwoon finds himself sitting across Yunho once again not very long after. He doesn’t think to much about Wonshik’s words, not right now at least, because he has to be focused on something else.

“Did you catch up with your friends?” The investigator asks.

Taekwoon nods, and almost slips back to thinking about what Wonshik said.

“Let’s carry on. I promise this won’t be much longer, alright?”

He nods again.

“What did you do when he threw you out, you said before he did that multiple times, right?”

Taekwoon hums in reply, “I think it’s about five time he threw me out, and once that I ran away myself.

Yunho nods, “So what did you do? Did you go somewhere specific? Talked to someone?”

“No, I mean-” Taekwoon looks away again, “I went into a church each time, just because I never really been there. I didn’t talk to anyone, I just sat there, waiting for him to call me and tell me that I can come back.”

“You didn’t talk to your family?”

Taekwoon shakes his head, “He always told me that my family would be ashamed of me if they knew I’ve been thrown out, and that he’s the only one not ashamed enough to take me back in.”

The investigator nods, writes down something then looks up, “When he was upset with you, he’d hit you, correct?”

“Not all the time.. I tried to avoid getting hit as much as I could, so I did everything to please him.”

“When did he start hitting you?”

Taekwoon bites his lip, then speaks uneasily, quietly, “He introduced me to his friends one night, and I told him I don’t like them.” He explains timidly, “I told him I want him to go somewhere with them and let me sleep.”

Yunho nods, singing him to carry on.

“He told me I’m being disrespectful, and that’s why I have no one.”

“No one?” Yunho asks.

“No friends,” Taekwoon clarifies, “And he asked me if I know what it feels like to hear me saying those things. I said no.” He whispers, voice and body stuttering to the tension, “He dragged me to our bedroom, and while his friends were still there, he punched me really hard in the ribs.”

Yunho writes down as he speaks.

“Then, he dragged back to the living room and told me to keep quiet or he’s going to punish me again for mistreating him and being ungrateful.”

“Thank you Taekwoon.” Yunho sums it eventually, making the sum of hours he had to sit in that office and talk to a total of 5. The younger wonders if Wonshik and Hakyeon are still outside, but gets an answer for that as soon as he steps out and gets a hug from Hakyeon, and a worried look from the other. Taekwoon decides to deal with what Wonshik said later. Now, he just really wants to go home.

His eyes trail around the coffee shop, and settle on a few lonely ladies. One looks like she’s in her forties, and that’s too old for Hongbin, so he marks her out. Another one with a pretty smile and plump lips is alright, until she places a cigarette to . Hongbin doesn’t like that, so he crosses her out as well.

He’s left with two choices, both pretty noonas that look lonely, doing nothing but watching their phone in boredom and scrolling through what should be SNS. He chooses the closest one, a one that’s dressed in a luxurious yellow dress, and has a furry coat in black above it. Those aren’t really winter colours - Hongbin notes - but he can make do with that.

“Hi.” He smiles his playful smile, “Can I sit here, noona?”

She looks taken aback, they all do at the beginning. After a few seconds, she blurts him a positive answer and he goes through his regular routine of making it look like he’s really interested in her. She buys it with no trouble, and they go to her apartment soon enough.

Her house is in Gangnam, and it’s been a while since he has been there with a noona, everything seem to change, as always. It’s a good choice, he thinks as he looks at the woman driving back home, she’s not very old, and probably stupid as all of his other noonas. She’d give into him easily, he just has to work a little longer.

By the end of the day, he returns home, after that woman - which name he can’t remember yet, offered to drive him but he declined. She seemed pretty dazed after Hongbin was done with her, and luckily, he got the question he was seeking after that day - “Can I see you again?”

With an innocent expression, he’d answer yes, waving her goodbye and acting clumsily on purpose.

He sinks into his sofa, and realises his evening is bare of events, what makes it a good time to shop around for the things he wants.

This time, he thinks about buying a car, which is a little more expensive than his usual spendings on designer clothes, but if he divides it with all of his credit cards, he can get away with it.

It’s easy, living this life.

But it’s awfully lonely.