They both try. Again. And it works, kind of. They still work like they used to. They even laugh, make jokes in front of the camera. It’s funny how when you try hard enough to pretend, you can really fool yourself into believing anything. When will they stop doing the same thing over and over again?

Maybe not living together anymore helps. It helps forget. But then there are the moments when Yongsun turns off the lights and lies in her bed at night, and she realizes some of that hurt never really goes away. That those haunting moments will always be there, because she could never forget Byul’s eyes when she said she didn’t want this. She chose not to do pursue this, and even if it’s gotten so hard fighting that feeling, she’d do it for them. For all four of them. It sounds selfless, but really, she was terrified and she needed something to tell herself.

It’s just past noon and Yongsun shuffles up in line at the coffee shop by their company. It’s packed with office workers and students alike, so much so the tip of the line reaches the glass doors to the shop. Yet they all wait patiently. Caffeine. It’s a drug. She used to come here with Byul after lunch occasionally when they had a full day at the company, another routine that’s changed, small details no one but them feel. She orders and leans against the wall in a corner, waiting for her order, the coffee aroma giving her some sense of comfort. She watches the barista try and manage the rush of customers during the lunch hour, the coffee sloshing slightly over the cup as he places it down on the counter in a hurry.

“Unnie! Did you get more than one order?” Yongsun looks up to see Wheein sidling up next to her. She must’ve barreled through a few people to get to where Yongsun was. “Please say yes.”

“Yeah. I got enough for you guys and the staff. You think I don’t know your lazy asses by now?”

Wheein just grins back at her. Yongsun rolls her eyes at the dimple that dips in one cheek and Wheein reflexively loops one of her arms around Yongsun’s.

“I’ll help you carry.”


“You better.” Yongsun chuckles.

They juggle the trays of coffee cups between them as they stroll back towards the company. The wind blows Yongsun’s jacket open and she shivers a little, unable to pull it close with both her hands occupied. Wheein trails beside her silently, obviously hesitating in saying something as she takes side glances at Yongsun every few steps on the sidewalk. After a minute, Wheein gives up glancing and stares at the concrete slabs in front of them as they walk. The walk feels like an eternity longer than normal.

“What is it?” Yongsun murmurs. She’s partly guessed what Wheein wanted to talk about. The four of them haven’t talked about the weirdness between her and Byul, which had to be an elephant in the room, at least it had to have been a couple weeks ago when she almost fell apart. She was a mess. She’s still a mess.

The four of them talk about everything together, but Yongsun was somewhat glad Wheein and Hyejin has been giving them space. There’s a guilt that encompasses her as they talk, it wasn’t fair they had to deal with the problems she’s created.

Wheein throws her a questioning look, almost surprised Yongsun brought it up. “Uh... Unnie, you okay?”

“Yeah.” Yongsun pauses, because how could she begin to explain all this? “I’m sorry. Things will get better. We just... we worked it out. It’s fine.”

Wheein looks at Yongsun, fighting an urge to just hug her unnie to make whatever it is okay, and unsure how to deal with this sadness that won’t stop emanating from her eyes.

“Did you guys fight? Is unnie avoiding you?” Wheein asks a little guardedly, like it wasn’t all she wanted to ask.

“You could say that.” Yongsun sighs. “I'm sorry, we'll be better. Don’t worry. We’re...it's complicated.” She guesses even with their best attempt at pretending it was still just as obvious. She only hopes that it wasn’t the same with cameras. She genuinely misses the time when everything was easy, when they could come to work and act like complete idiots with each other. Now, she's consistently at her wit's end, unable to do anything but apologize and try and move forward.

Yongsun holds the glass door open with her back as Wheein enters the building. Wheein looks up at her for a moment and a look of understanding flashes back at Yongsun, as if she could see Yongsun’s unspoken plea to give her more time. So she just nods back and follows after Yongsun with the door closing behind. Yongsun is glad with the silence, it gave her a free pass at having to convince someone she was okay again. She took solace in Wheein's silent presence, hoping desperately that time would solve everything.

//

Yongsun stares at the scraps of paper in front of her, most of them lyrics she jotted down as she thought of something on the way to an event, or waiting in line at the coffee shop. She tries putting it together, piecing it into a story.

It wasn’t really coming together. She stares at ceiling, then stares at the pieces of paper once more. In a huff of fury, she crushes one of the pieces into a ball, and throws it across the room with a groan of frustration.

Once upo