Jin

Brushing a towel through your hair you tried not to get your shirt too wet as you let the wet strands fall back around your shoulders. That shower had been exactly what you had needed. The warm water had caused all your muscles to relax and it seemed as if some of the weight you had been carrying around today had finally fallen off. Now your relaxing evening could start. It had been a busy week, schedules had been hectic and filled. Those were the only times you regretted becoming an idol, when your job would barely allow you to meet up with your bed during nighttime. But the end was coming closer, promotions were almost over and in a few more days you would actually be able to tell all your friends and family you had vacation. That word sounded so strange to you, it was one you hadn’t used for a while. You’d have five days off. To others it might not seem like a very long time, but for you it was enough. It seemed like a dream actually, too good to be true. If only your boyfriend would have been able to share those days with you, they would have been even better. But Seokjin had his own schedule, and he wasn’t rewarded with a few free days just yet. It wasn’t always easy for the two of you to find a way to spend time together. You were always so busy, living past each other and doing your own thing. But tonight was yours. He had invited you over, had shoed the other boys away so that you had the dorm all to yourselves. He had promised to cook you diner and had told you that today you’d be able to put your feet underneath the table and just sit and enjoy his company. What else could you possibly ask for? He could be quite romantic sometimes if he tried. 

Moving your neck from one side to the other you rarely felt the muscle ache you had had earlier that day, it seemed like a hot shower was the perfect remedy. Throwing the towel into the laundry basket you gazed up into the mirror one final time. He had told you to get comfortable, so you had simply crawled straight into your pajamas, guessing that you didn’t need to wear any fancy clothes as you were in his presence. You wouldn’t care if he would show up . No, to be honest you definitely wouldn’t mind. You grinned at your own reflection before you turned off the lights and left the door open, letting some fresh air inside of the room. Marching down the stairs the wonderful smell of your favorite dish already traveled into your nostrils. He was being such a sweetheart, he was so much more than you could have asked for. He always tried so hard to make you happy, to make you smile and to make sure you were healthy. There were moments you were afraid that he forgot to think about himself. Patting into the kitchen on your bare feet you could see that he had outdone himself. The table was set for two, a few candles lit in the middle of the square. Everything looked perfect and it was much more than you had expected. To you even a take out meal would have been wonderful, as long as you were able to eat it with him. But who were you to stop him if he wanted to cook for you, he was magical in the kitchen. You weren’t so bad yourself, but somehow you could never tip him. Looking past the table you could see him standing behind the stove, his fingers curled around a wooden spoon as he stirred it in a big pot. 

Smiling brightly you crossed the distance between the two of you and you wrapped your arms around him as soon as he got within reach. The fabric of his shirt was so soft that you felt like you could fall asleep on him. “It smells amazing in here.” You commented, pressing a peck against his shoulder before curling your neck around him so you could see how far done he was. Waiting patiently you expected him to make a smug comeback, or at least crack a joke about your your complement. But he remained strangely silent. “I was actually thinking just now, how about after dinner we watch that movie you’ve been wanting to see? I can make the both of us some hot chocolate.” You suggested, a plan you had come up with when your mind had been wondering while you’d been standing under the rays of water. The excitement you expected was once again ascent as he answered you with a little ‘sure’. Was it wrong from you that you had accepted his offer to cook you dinner? He was probably tired enough himself and he had also earned this free night. All of a sudden you felt bad, afraid that you had taken advantage of him. “You’re never this quiet. What’s wrong?” You mumbled quietly, curling your hand around his as he held the spoon. He sighed before his fingers loosened around the wood. You watched him as he spun around, holding onto the cabinet behind him as he faced you. He tried showing off a little smile, but you weren’t an idiot. You could tell that he was in no mood to smile, it was obvious by the expression written all over his face. Worry seeped through you when you realized he looked off, nothing left of the giggly guy you had left here before you had gone upstairs. “Your eyes are red, have you been crying?” You asked, and he quickly brought his hands up towards his face, wiping across his cheeks, as to hide the traces. Blinked his eyes a few times he quickly shook his head, clearing his throat before he spoke. “No sweetie, it was the onion. I’m fine.” He assured you, pecking your head adoringly before he wanted to turn around to check on the food again, but you were faster. 

Your hand reached past him to turn down the stove, and he gave you a astonished look as he froze. “Unions my .” You cleared out as you grabbed his wrist and began to tug him with you towards the living room. You walked straight past the burning candles, your thoughts not set on a romantic night if something was bothering him. Something was wrong, you could tell and if he didn’t want to talk to you about it then that was fine. But you weren’t going to let him hide the fact that he was not alright. He didn’t need to hold up an act for you, you were his girlfriend and you weren’t going to judge him because of his feelings. You were someone he could share his burdens with, not someone he had to run away from. You forced him down on the couch and for a moment he looked like a child that got punished. A vulnerable look was visible inside of his eyes as he gazed up at you. “I’m here for you, you know that right.” You reminded him as you pushed against his chest and compelled his back against the couching. Before he got the chance to fight you off you crawled onto his lap, placing both of your legs on each side of his, pressing him down. He didn’t have a single chance to escape as you stare drilled into his. His shoulders dropped, as if he was finally giving into it. “It was supposed to be a nice night.” He stuttered, his voice breaking in the middle of his sentence. Several emotions seemed to wash over him as his eyes filled themselves with tears once more. Brushing your hand through his hair you shot him a soft smile. “I wouldn’t want to spend it in any other way than with you.” You assured him and heard the way a sob broke free from his chest. Silently you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him close, feeling the way he hugged you back and pressed his face into your shoulder, crying softly.

RM

Parking the car in the middle of the driveway you checked the time on the dashboard. You were easily, much too early. But you couldn’t wait any longer, you really had to talk to Namjoon. It had been a ty day and you needed someone to talk to, someone you knew who would listen to you and give you an honest opinion. Today you had finally done what you had promised yourself you wouldn’t, and you had no idea if you should regret it or not. A few weeks ago one of your best friends had started dating this guy, and he was a huge . He didn’t appreciate anything she did for him and talked horrible about her behind her back. For a while you’d thought about not telling her, noticing how crazy she was about him and how very much in love she was. But after things still hadn’t changed after some time, you had decided that she had to know. You didn’t want her to find out through someone else, and as her best friend you felt as if you had a certain responsibility in her happiness. The only thing you wanted for her was to be treated fairly, and that was exactly what he didn’t do. You wanted what was best for her, but that was not what she had seen in your intentions as you had honestly told her what had been going on for all this time. At first she had refused to believe you, telling her that if what you said was true that you would have told her sooner. After that she had started lashing out on you, accusing you of simply being jealous because your boyfriend never had any time for you and you couldn’t stand the fact that you had to share him with everyone. You didn’t understand how suddenly your issues had been pulled into the conversation. 

The entire cafe had been staring at you as if you were some kind of monster when she had stormed out of the door at the verge of bursting into tears. You had only tried to do the right thing, and now you were afraid that you had lost your friend for once and for all. You knew that if you would tell Namjoon about it that he wouldn’t spare you. If he thought you had been in the wrong then he would tell you and then you would understand. But somehow you couldn’t seem to put your finger on it, you didn’t believe that trying to protect her from that douchebag was a bad thing. Heaving a deep sigh you got out of the car, smashing the door behind you and locked the vehicle before you made your way towards the front door of the dorm. You ignored the way the wind smashed in on you as you rang the bell, waiting patiently. You weren’t supposed to be here for another thirty minutes, but you were sure that your boyfriend wouldn’t mind you coming over a little sooner. As soon as Taehyung appeared in front of you, you let a smile appear on your face, watching the way he held the door open for you so that you could pass. “Namjoon hyung didn’t tell me you were coming. It’s good to see you.” He assured you and you gave him a quick hug before you kicked off your shoes and slipping out of your coat. It was nice and warm inside of the dorm as scrabbled forward, looking for the person you had come to visit. As if Taehyung could tell he quickly informed you as he made his way back towards the living room where had had been watching some movie. “He’s in a room, has been there all day. I wonder what he is up to.” He thought by himself and you shook your head as you waved him off and marched up the stairs. 

There were more times that he locked himself up in his room, when he was working on some new song lyrics or when he was composing. You wondered if perhaps he was doing a v-life, because you surely didn’t want to interrupt him in the middle of one. So as you arrived at his door you held your ear against it, making sure it was silent inside of the room before you knocked your fist against the wood. For a few seconds it remained completely silent, and you wondered if perhaps he had fallen back asleep, but after a while you finally heard his sweet voice drift towards you. “Yeah!” The word sounded a little bit raw, as if he had just rolled out of bed. If he’d still be in his pajamas you were definitely going to make fun of him. But as you opened the door and stuck your head inside of spotted him sitting on the chair behind his desk, fully dressed. Maybe he was just tired. “Babe!” You cheered in greeting as you stepped inside, locking the two of you up inside of his enormous bedroom. He cleared his throat for a second, clearly surprised to see that you were already here as he twirled around in his seat and looked at you. A smile appeared around his lips as you made your way over to him, curling your arms around his neck and nestling yourself on his lap. It was the best place for you to face your concerns, it was where you felt most safe. “You’re early.” He remarked as he pressed nose against your shoulder, hiding himself from you. You knew that he still felt uncomfortable sometimes if you would see him without make up, no matter how many times you told him that you found him handsome. “I had a little bit of a collision with Allison.” You immediately said, not feeling like twisting around the topic until he would ask about it. He hummed, indicating that he had heard you and you accepted that as your sign to continue. You looked down on his hair while spoke, feeling the way he curled his arms around your form and held you close. “I told her, about Ralf. And guess what, she told me that I was a jealous little brad who only wanted to make her miserable now that she finally found someone who makes her ‘happy’.” With that last word you lifted your hands in the air and flexed your fingers. That was the biggest bull ever. 

As you sat there you listened what kind of reaction would come from him, but to your surprise he remained strangely silent. You expected him to look at you with wide eyes, astonished that you had decided to say something even though you had told him that you wouldn’t. Or at least indignant because of what your friend had said to you. But he just sat there, and for a moment you weren’t even sure if he had heard you. “I mean, do you think it was wrong from me to tell her?” You asked, continuing in the hope that if you would go on that eventually he would realize that you were talking to him and he was expected to answer. But still, nothing came. You frowned as you braided your fingers inside of his hair, wondering if something was up. Where had your bubble, wise boyfriend gone? He was always in the front row to help you, but today his mind seemed to be elsewhere. “You’re never this quiet. What’s wrong?” You mumbled softly, hoping that at least this would get through to him. It seemed as if this time he had heard you, because he finally gave you an answer. “Nothing.” He replied, his voice muted because he was pressing his face into your sweater. Frowning you slightly leaned away from him, causing that he had no other option but to sit up if he didn’t want to drop forward. “Don’t lie to me, I can tell something is bothering you.” You said as he blinked his eyes a few times, as if he was waking up from a daze. That was when you noticed the slightly different color of his cheeks, the rosy glint of his nose. dodging slightly you tried to get a closer look, but he quickly tried to turn away. “Your eyes are red, have you been crying?” The realization hit you hard, that you had been too busy worrying about your own problems that you hadn’t even noticed what was going on with him. 

A loaded silence filled the room as you studied him, wondering if you had to keep digging or not. But there was something about the look on his face that told you not to let it go. He wasn’t his normal self, whatever was going on inside of his mind it caused him to shut down. While keeping your stare on him you let your fingers massage his scalp, hoping that at a certain point he would feel sure enough to open up to you. Eventually he let out a big gulp of air, his honest expression looking at you, more vulnerable than you had ever seen it. You felt the sudden need to lock him up inside of this room until he felt better again. He had never looked at you like that before. “It’s just, all of this feels so fake. I always have to pretend to be someone else, I feel like I’m loosing who I really am.” He mumbled, his words thick and slurred, as if he had to speak past a large lump inside of his throat. Noticing the gleaming of his eyes you quickly pulled him into a tight hug, hoping that he would feel the comfort you were trying to provide him. You hadn’t realized he had been struggling with this so badly, that he had the feeling that he wasn’t allowed to be himself. you were sure that everyone would love him for who he was, and that there wasn’t a single reason why he shouldn’t be able to be his own version of himself. “I know who you are. You’re strong, and brave. You’re sweet and you care so much for your friends. You’re smart, you’re genuine, you care about everyone. And we all love you, exactly for who you are. You don’t have to hide.” You assured him, watching the way the tears rolled down his cheeks once more as you lifted his chin to look at him. You shot him a smile as you brushed your thumbs across his skin, wiping away the salty drops. He cuddled into you, holding you tightly as he let you sooth him. you decided to forget about your own problems for a while, his were much more important now.

Suga

You couldn’t remember when you had fallen asleep, but when you awoke a little while later you felt more energetic than you had done all week. The pain inside of your joints had disappeared and it was almost as if it had never been there. Your head had finally stopped throbbing and for the first time today you actually felt kind of hungry again, or at least as if you would be able to keep your food in if you would eat something. Perhaps you could even try to get some soup later on. The flu had been ruling over you for days, had kept you tied to your bed feeling miserable and slow. When your boyfriend found out that you were ill and you hadn’t told him he had been furious, going on and on about the fact that he had to know these kinds of things. But you simply hadn’t wanted to worry him, knowing that he had a lot going on already. Yoongi wasn’t one to baby you, not even during situations like these. He didn’t bring you soup or took your temperature every five minutes. Though, he had demanded you to stay over at the dorm until you were feeling better, keeping a close eye on you. Every once in a while he would ask you if you wanted to eat something, if you needed something. He didn’t get too close, not willing to get sick himself, but he was also never far away. He would probably also be glad to hear that you were slowly starting to improve and that things were going back to normal. You didn’t want to add even more stress on him, knowing that the guys had been so busy lately and that their schedules had been exhausting. But no matter how many times you told him that he didn’t have to worry about you, he simply ignored you. Actually you thought it was kind of cute, how he was trying to show off all rough and pretend he wasn’t that concerned, while his eyes would drill holes into your head as soon as you would wail or whine. 

Yet, it was better not to cheer too early, because couch tore through you as you took a deep breath. The muscles inside of your stomach and back were sore as they tensed up. It took you a while before you were able to get out of it again, barely able to get rid of the tickle inside of your throat. Your eyes zoomed in on a body that lowered itself on the edge of the bed beside you, a hand extending a glass of water to you. “Here, finish this.” Yoongi demanded in a low voice, pressing the glass inside of your hand before getting up again and crossing the room, sitting down on the chair behind his desk. You pushed yourself upright and stared at him from your spot in the bed as you took a small sip from the water. It was soothing for your sore throat. Placing it back on the nightstand you watched the way he turned himself away from you, gazing at something on his computer screen. You didn’t know why you got the feeling that something was up him. Before you had gone to bed he had actually been quite cheerful, telling you that he would buy you some ice cream as soon as you were good enough to go out again. He had actually suggested taking a break from work and spend some free time together instead. Though, now there seemed to be nothing left of that state of mind as he sat there like that, so far away from you, at a distance that seemed even too long for you to cross. You’d feel that way around him sometimes, like he had built a big cage around himself and he wouldn’t grant you access. It wasn’t always easy to guess what was going on inside of his mind. He could get angry at you sometimes, when you tried to talk to him about certain things. If there was one thing he didn’t like to do it was talking about sentimental stuff. 

Quietly you pushed yourself up from the bed, tripping towards him. He didn’t even seem to hear you coming over, and he flinched slightly when you placed both of your hands on his shoulders. His muscles seemed almost as knotted as yours and you dug your fingers into his back while staring down on his work. He seemed to be busy editing something he had composed a while ago, a piece he had been so proud of when he had firstly finished it. You frowned, not expecting him to do any more changes to it as he had been so content with it back then. Slowly the tension disappeared from his back, and he leaned back into the chair. “You’re never this quiet. What’s wrong?” You asked, cringing slightly when you listened to the sound of your own voice. You sounded like a old, fragile lady. Focussing your attention back on the man in front of you, you tried to round your head around him so that you could have a better look at him. But he wasn’t making it easy for you as he dug low, almost as if he was hiding from you. “You should go to bed, you need to rest.” He suddenly said lowly, and you noticed the strain in his words. It was almost as if he had forgotten that you had just rolled out of bed a few minutes ago. If there was anything you had done enough today than it was resting.What was causing him to be this scattered all of a sudden? Perhaps you had infected him anyway, and he was trying not to let you notice. He knew you would feel terrible if he got sick because of you. You had warned him so many times, not to have you over and to let you go home so you could sick out in your own bed, instead of spreading your germs around his room. He didn’t need a sickness to make his job even harder. “Are you feeling alright?” You asked, trying to get him to turn around so you could check on him. If he had a favor than he had to take some medicine. Maybe it was him who should be resting in bed instead of you. 

But he was not budging in the slightest. He sat there on that chair, stubbornly gazing ahead of himself. It worried you that he was acting so off, that he wasn’t saying anything, that he wasn’t talking to you. Had something happened while you had been asleep? You knew that he had mood swings from time to time, but during the time of your relationship it hadn’t been as bad anymore. “Yoongi, please.” You muttered, and you were sure he could hear the earnest inside of your voice. It wasn’t going to take much longer before you would jump on top of the desk so he didn’t have another choice but to face you. As if he could tell that himself he heaved a deep sigh, before he kicked his feet against the floor and the chair finally swooned around. The sudden movement almost knocked you off your feet. You were about to scold him, for playing these tricks on you and for being so ignorant. But then you saw the look on his face. you stilled, your words becoming silent on top of your tongue, and by the way he looked at you, you could tell that he didn’t like it one bit. “Your eyes are red, have you been crying?” You asked, stunned. Slowly you brought your hand up towards his cheek, to touch the tear strains that were still visible on his skin. But he grabbed your wrist and forced your arm back down to your side, so you weren’t able to get near him. “Don’t.” He spatted before he shot up from his chair and started walking towards the door. All of a sudden you felt a little panicked, knowing that he was closing off from you. He didn’t usually snap at you unless he was very angry. He always tried very hard to control his anger whenever you were around. There weren’t many times he would loose his cool and you surely didn’t appreciate it that he did it now. 

His hand reached for the door handle, until you spoke up and his hand froze mid air. “Stay.” It seemed like a one word conversation, but it seemed to be enough. He didn’t leave, but his breathing did become heavier, his shoulders raising and falling with a certain power. You weren’t able to tell if he was crying again, but you knew that if he was that he wouldn’t want you to see. Taking quick steps you stopped only when you were standing right behind him. Placing a single hand on the middle of his back you wished that he could feel your compassion for him. Even if you didn’t know what was going on, you knew that his struggled were real. They always had been. Whatever demons he was facing right now, you wanted him to know that he didn’t have to fight them alone. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” You reminded him, watching the way he hung his head low. You listened carefully as his sob rang through the air, an unfamiliar sound. Somehow you could feel your own eyes tear up as you listened to him crying softly, leaning against the door for support. Easily you wrapped your arms around him from behind, squeezing his back tightly against your chest. Nuzzling your face into the fabric of his shirt you let him be, knowing you shouldn’t be pushing him right now. The two of you stood there like that for a little while, as he cried and you held him. But eventually you could feel the way his hand curled around yours, holding it in a tight grip. The most important thing was that he knew that you would always be there, no matter how hard things got, he would never have to go through anything by himself. 

J hope

The music was blasting through the halls as soon as you entered the building. As you looked up at the ceiling you could tell where he was by himself, because you could only hear one pair of feet moving across the floor above you as you walked towards the elevator. When you had texted him earlier to ask him if he had a free spot in his schedule to meet up with you, he had told you that they were still at practice. But you were quick to figure out that he had been trying to fool you. Yoongi, who was a great friend of you, had texted you if you wanted to hang out with him, since they had the night off. His invitation had stunned you, so you had called him, bewildered to figure out that the guys were free while your boyfriend had told you that they were working. Hoseok had never lied to you before and you had always trusted him completely. You loved him and you would never doubt him. He never looked at any other women than you, never spoke about any other girls. If he did hang out with someone who wasn’t one of his friends he would ask you if you were okay with it, even though he knew that you wouldn’t make a fuss about it. You didn’t mind if he wanted to spend some time with woman who were his friends, what you did mind was if he would use excuses and would try to hide things from you. In your eyes you had never made things hard from him, you had never tried to lock him in a cage or forbidden him to do certain things with certain people. You just didn’t understand why he would do this. This was nothing like him and you already started thinking if you had done or said something to upset him or to make him angry. But you couldn’t recall anything. 

So you hadn’t been able to think of a better option than to call Yoongi, and to ask him about it. Even he was taken aback by the fact that his friend had lied to you but he had been able to tell you that Hoseok had been acting a little bit off lately. That he had been moody all day and that he had left the dorm later that day, without telling any of them where he was going. You don’t know why you had decided to go out looking for him, even though you knew you should wait for him to get home. You had gone to the first place that had popped into your mind, and that was the BigHit building. It was already a relief that this wasn’t the exact place he would invite a girl over, so you knew it had nothing to do with anything like that. You didn’t want to accuse him of anything, but if he would continue to lie to you than you would have to make your own conclusions. For now, he still got the benefit of the doubt. You were willing to sit down with him, to listen to him and let him tell you the honest truth this time around. Rounding the corner you walked straight towards the elevator, riding it up to the second floor. The closer you got to the practice room the louder the music became. It was as if your heart was joining the rhythm of the bass as you got out of the elevator and walked through the corridor, getting closer to the door. It was hard to figure that he was in here all by himself, while the others were all relaxing. You didn’t even take the effort to knock, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hear you anyway. Shoving the door open you leaned against the frame, watching the way he was flying across the floor. If there was one thing that never bored you it was watching Hoseok dance. 

His movements were powerful and firm, popping into the perfect places and elegant at the same time. You could only be jealous because he was able to move in such a graceful way. You had no idea how long you stood there before he noticed your presence, but the song had almost ended when his gaze locked with yours through the large mirror and they widened in surprise, his feet getting tangled together so that his landed on the ground. He deserved that, for lying to you. “Jesus, you scared me.” He wined, clutching his hand over his chest where his hand was probably beating like crazy inside of him. You tilted your head to the side as you pushed yourself off, striding towards him so that you were able to crouch down in front of him. He didn’t look as if he had hurt himself. “You scared me too, when I figured out you actually had the day off while you told me you were busy.” You immediately said, not wanting to twirl around the topic. Right away a guilty glint appeared inside of his eyes, and he quickly looked away, fidgeting with his hands inside of his lap. He avoided your stare, and somehow he looked as if he wanted nothing more than to run out of the room so he didn’t have to face you. This was the moment he was supposed to apologize, tell you what was really going on. Instead he remained quiet, his head hanging low like you had just scolded him for stealing candy out of a shop. Squeezing your eyes at him you tried not to lash out on him and demand an answer from him. If he felt brave enough to mess with you than he better had the nerve to tell you the truth as well. 

Yet, you knew that screaming at him wasn’t going to get you anywhere. You hadn’t come here to pick a fight, you had come here to get answers and you didn’t feel like having them spitted at you. So instead of grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him like you wanted to, you went for the collected way, telling yourself that you could solve this situation like an adult. “You’re never this quiet. What’s wrong?” You asked, wondering if you should be armoring yourself against what he was about to say or not. God, if he had the nerve to sell you another lie that you would kick his . You knew for sure you deserved as much as his honesty. And it seemed as if that hit him too, because he sighed deeply before he looked past you, at his own reflection. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” He started, and even though you were sure you had tried your hardest to make it seem as if you weren’t bothered by this, he was still able to see right through you. You remained silent as you studied him attentively, noticing a few details you hadn’t done before as you looked at his face. There wasn’t a single sign of your usual cheerful and happy boyfriend. His bright smile was nowhere to be found, and his expression was slightly dull and troubled. But that was nothing compared to the biggest change you saw. “Your eyes are red, have you been crying?” You asked, your voice getting higher as you shot him a concerned look. Hoseok never cried, he wasn’t one to solve sadness with tears. his shoulders slumped slightly, as if he was anything but pleased that you had noticed his distress. Now you understood why he had wanted to avoid you, why he had been so vague towards his friends. Yoongi had warned you that something was off, you just hadn’t realized how bad it was, until now. He swallowed audibly before he suddenly hid his face inside of his hands and started crying. 

To say that you were shocked was an understatement. Quickly you threw yourself down on the floor beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder in the hope to hide your surprise. You didn’t want him to feel as if he wasn’t allowed to show his sadness around you. You tugged him flush against your side, hoping that he would feel that you were genuinely worried about him. “It’s okay, you can talk to me.” You assured him, not wanting to push him into talking to you but also not wanting him to think that you didn’t care. You watched him as he lowered his hands from his face and let his tears run freely, no longer ashamed for his weakness. through his hair you waited until he felt like he was able to speak again. “This choreography, I can’t get the hang of it. I’ve been practicing for hours and I just can’t do it. It’s stupid.” He explained, quickly wiping the tears away before they could drip down onto the floor. Your look softened, realizing that he had been spending his free hours in here because he felt like he had to catch up, because he thought he was failing s and himself. You felt terrible for thinking in the way you had, for even allowing the thought that he might be cheating on you penetrate into your mind. He would never do that, and deep inside you had always known that. “You should allow your body to rest sometimes. You’ve been pushing too hard.” You try to tell him, knowing it’s always very hard to explain to him that it was okay to slow down from time to time. He was about to argue with you when you grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him down. With large eyes he let you lower him until his head was resting on top of your lap and you made sure you held him there until he stopped struggling. “So, we rest.” You said, braiding your fingers inside of his hair. Eventually his muscles relaxed against yours, a grateful look plastered onto his face as he gazed up at you.

Jimin

“Listen, just reschedule it. I promise I’ll meet up with her soon but I really can’t make it tomorrow.” You told one of your employees, hoping that she would understand. It was impossible for you to fly all the way over to Paris in one night, you weren’t even packed yet. It wasn’t easy to keep the work going now that you mother was sick. You had stepped into the family company last year and had started helping her with coordinating weddings like it was all you knew. Ever since you had been a little girl you’d known that you wanted to take over the business one day and that you wanted to hold the family name high. But now that she was unwell you had to take over her weddings as well. So far everything had been going according to plan, but this was simply impossible. You would love to visit Paris, you’d never been before. But you really couldn’t sacrifice tonight’s events for your job. It had been such a long time since you’d last seen Jimin, and now that you were finally supposed to be free and they were having a concert around town, you had promised him that you would come. You knew how you felt yourself when he canceled on you, so you didn’t want to be the one to do that to him. Even though he’d deserve to get a taste of his own medicine for once. Yet, you had recognized the exhaustion inside of his voice when you had last spoken him over the phone, and so you wanted to cheer him up a little bit. Due to a meeting running late you had missed the concert, but that didn’t mean you didn’t have any time to meet the boys backstage before they went back to the hotel. You had even brought food for everyone, because you doubted that they were taking good care of themselves during these busy times. 

“I don’t know if she’ll agree with that.” The girl on the phone stated and you suddenly got the urge to crawl through the phone and shake her, so that you could get some sense into her. How hard was it for her to understand that you were not going to travel to Paris tonight and to simply tell that client exactly that. You were sure she could give it a nice twist. You were sure that your mother had asked her to do this millions of times before, why couldn’t she do the same for you. “Then you tell her that she can find someone else to plan her wedding. Have a nice evening.” And with that you hung up, feeling slightly annoyed. Some of the employees were trying to test you, thinking you were just a spoiled brad who had decided to take the easy way and follow in your mom’s footsteps. But if that was what they believed they were wrong, and you weren’t planning on letting them walk over you. Trying to shake it off you took another deep breath as you searched your way towards the dressing room backstage, in the direction that nice security man had sent you earlier. When you finally found the right door you knocked it carefully, waiting for permission to go in. You didn’t want to risk running into any of them while they were in the middle of changing. But you soon got the heads up and you quickly pushed down the door handle, trying not to drop the food. As you stuck your head around the door you noticed all the boys sitting together, and they all smiled at you when they noticed it was you who had come to bring them a visit. “______________!” Namjoon cheered from his spot on the couch, only getting up so that he could come over to give you a hug. It felt good to be held by one of them again after such a long time. You had missed these dorks a lot. The younger ones immediately came over to see what you had brought them and were more than delighted when they realized you had brought them something to eat. Smiling brightly at him you handed them the bag you were holding, letting them attack what was inside. They were probably starving after their performance. 

Your eyes darted around the room, searching for that one person. Soon your eyes lingered on someone who was standing near the table filled with drinks, standing still while his finger was grazing along the lid of a closed water bottle. it seemed as if he hadn’t even noticed your arrival yet, too lost in his own thoughts. Staring at him for a while, now that you were still able to do it unnoticed, you figured he seemed a little off. It was noisy in the room as the boys were humming in content as they filled themselves with food, but he didn’t seem to hear any of it. He was still in his stage outfit and clearly hadn’t taken the effort yet to shower or get changed. You didn’t have to see his face to know that he was probably looked too handsome for his own good, he always did. You told the others to enjoy the dish as you quietly shuffled closer to your boyfriend, who’s back was still facing you. Quietly you wrapped your arms around him from behind, feeling the way his muscles tensed underneath your touch because you’d startled him. “Jimin!” You squealed against his back, pressing your face against his shoulder and taking in the smell of his cologne, mingled with the slightest smell of sweat. As soon as he seemed to realize it was you who was hugging him he seemed to relax a little, but he still remained stiff. You watched the way he released the water bottle from his grip, and it crashed down against the wooden surface of the table. “Hey…” He muttered softly as his fingers instead found their way towards yours, curling around your hand and holding them in his. You waited until he would turn around and hug you back, tell you how much he missed you, that it seemed like ages since he had seen you. Because that was what it had been like for you, you couldn’t stand being away from him for too long. 

Yet, none of that happened and you just continued to stand there staring at the back of his neck. It wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy this view as well, but right now you preferred the front side. “Aren’t you happy to see me?” You wailed, pretending to be upset because he was laking excitement. Perhaps he was just tired out from his rough schedule. He had texted you a few nights before to tell you how hard it was weighing down on him, and that the lack of sleep was slowly getting to him. You always feared that it would crack him one day, that things would become too much. No matter how much you told him that he should think about his health, that he should put himself first from time to time, it didn’t seem to make a difference. He lived for his job and for making his fans happy, you could as well just remain silent because you knew that he wouldn’t listen to you. Yet, it wasn’t a part of his normal behavior to stand here like this, all by himself, while the others were having fun on the other side of the room. He didn’t like being left out, he always tried to be a part of the things that happened. Though now he seemed to be isolating himself on purpose. what was going on in that beautiful head of his that caused him to be completely separated from the world? “You’re never this quiet. What’s wrong?” You asked, and it bothered you that you weren’t able to see the look on his face as you spoke to him. It was the best way for you to figure out how he truly felt. He was able to tell you lies, but he wasn’t able to hide his expressions, he was like an open book. So you loosened your arms around him and gripped his shoulders, trying to get him to turn. But it was as if his feet were glued against the floor and he was fighting very hard not to show himself to you. Frowning slightly you gave up and circled around him yourself so you could crawl in between his chest and the table. It was tight and your knees bumped against his as you gazed up at him. 

Your sudden move seemed to have surprised him, because he clearly wasn’t prepared for him. His eyes locked with yours for only a few seconds before he dipped his head, trying his best to hide himself behind his fringe. But it was too late, you had already seen it. Worry seeped through you when your mind processed the look on his face and you quickly searched for his hand, squeezing it carefully. “Your eyes are red, have you beed crying?” You mumbled, trying to catch his gaze. He heaved a deep sigh before he finally gave in, lifting his face so he could look at you. The tear strains were clearly visible on his cheeks, the tip of his nose slightly red as he brushed his hand through his hair. It was obvious something was bothering him, though he still curled his lips up into a little smile. “I’m sorry, I’m happy your here. It’s just, it’s been a rough day.” He pointed out and you prevented him from looking away again by placing your hand on the side of his cheek. If there was one thing you didn’t want than it was for him to act tough around you when he didn’t feel like it. You weren’t only here to share the happy times with him, but also the hard ones. You didn’t want him to think that he wasn’t allowed to be sad in front of you. “What happened?” You asked again, not wanting him to pile everything up inside of him and instead of him to talk to you about it. It probably wasn’t anything you could help him with, but maybe you were able to make him feel a little bit better. Waiting patiently you watched as his eyes became watery again, threatening to spill over. You hoped that with your expression you were able to let him know that it was okay. “My voice cracked half through the song, I completely ruined the performance.” He eventually confessed and you sent him a compassionate smile before wrapping your arms around him and pulling him closer. Your poor Jimin, always expected so much of himself, always thinking he was a disappointment to everyone. No matter how many times people told him that he did well, the words always seemed to get twisted in his mind. He always punished himself so much for every mistake he made. “You did great, I’m sure you did. A single mistake is nothing compared to all the amazing things you’ve done.” You whispered inside of his ear, feeling the way he circled his arms around your middle and held you close. Patting his back softly you let him cry out on you, knowing that he needed it. 

Taehyung 

It was absolutely freezing outside and you swore to god that the tips of your toes were slowly turning into eye cubes. Several people were passing you from left or right, giving you weird glances. One time a guy actually came over to you to ask you if you were lost and you needed a lift home, but you friendly declined. You were not lost, you knew exactly where you were and why you were here. The thing was, the person who was supposed to show up here with you simply wasn’t on time. With shaking fingers you once again pressed the button of your phone to light up the unlock screen, the selfie you and Taehyung had taken a few months ago when you had gone ice skating together on one of your dates lighting up. Back then you had been just as cold as now, but at that moment you had enjoyed it. Now, you were getting more and more pissed with every second that passed. He couldn’t believe he had set you up again, even after you had warned him that if he would ever forget your one of your date nights again that you would murder him. You had still texted him earlier this morning to remind him, and he had assured you that he would make it. You had really been looking forward to this. You had reserved a table for the two of you at some cosy restaurant and while you were out here, starving, you had to stare at those couple having diner with candlelight while you were freezing out here. Oh god, he was going to get it when he got home. Stuffing your phone inside of the pocket of your coat you were about to walk away when all of a sudden you heard some quick footsteps rush into your direction. You could tell who it was just by the sound of his shoes hitting the pavement and you debated inside of your mind if you should stand still or walk away. 

In the end you just kept moving, deciding that you had waited long enough. He was thirty minutes late and you were sick and tired of him not showing up. Right now the only thing you still wanted to do was to crawl up on your couch and to drink some hot chocolate while giving your boyfriend the cold shoulder he deserved. Yet, you soon felt someone taking a hold of your wrist, the fingers curling softly around your joint and forcing you to a halt. Somehow you couldn’t make yourself wiggle free and so you let him catch up on you. A part of you wanted to hear his excuse, in the hope that it was better than all the others he always gave you. The ones where he told you that he got stuck at work or he had lost track of time. It was always the same, yet you still hoped for something different. How could you be so naive? You waited until he came into view, stopping right in front of you. He was panting, catching his breath with big gulps of air, it was obvious he had been racing over here. So at least he had figured that he had made a mistake. The streets were dark and the streetlights were barely making it possible for you to see the look on his face, but you could tell by his posture that he was feeling bad. And he should, he had ever single reason to feel bad, and guilt, and ashamed. “I’m sorry…” He started and you could feel something explode inside of you. You had never gotten angry at him before when he stood you up, you had always tried to reason with him, try to put yourself in his shoes. You always tried to understand him and tried to empathize yourself in what he must be feeling. But why couldn’t he do that for you? Why couldn’t he think about your feelings when it was about time to leave practice because he had promised to meet up with you? What was so hard about that? 

“I don’t ask for much Taehyung! One night! One ing night! I just want you to be there when I need you to! Why can’t you ever be here!” You yelled, ripping yourself free from his grasp and marching off, your heels clicking angrily against the gravel. It was as if something was boiling inside of you. It wasn’t like you were being impossible. You were his girlfriend, what did you even mean to him if you couldn’t ask for a little bit of his free time once in a while? Why did his work always have to be more important? You got it, he was an idol and he needed to be with his band members, he had work to do and he couldn’t always spend time with you. You understood that he was tired sometimes, that he just wanted to crawl in bed after he got home from long days at work. You always tried to be there for him, you tried to cheer him up when he needed you to. Was it so hard for him to realize that you also needed some attention from time to time? You were his girlfriend, not his personal manager. And to be honest, you were also tired, of having to deal with this all the time. Entering the parking lot you searched for your car keys inside of your bag, stopping underneath a lantern so it could provide you some light. Yet, as soon as you realized he was shuffling behind you, his gaze pointing towards his feet, you couldn’t help but feel bad. No matter how much you told yourself that he was in the wrong, that he had deserved you to lash out on him for once, you still felt bad. Normally he would have come up with some excuse by now, trying to stand up for himself and try to calm you down. He should be coaxing you back inside of the restaurant and try to make up for what he had done, but instead, he just stood there. Lowering your back you watched his body language carefully. His drooped shoulders, the way he had shoved his hands inside of his pockets, the way he hid his eyes behind his fringe. Something was up, but you had been too busy being mad at him to notice. 

“You’re never this quiet. What’s wrong?” Your voice was still too stern, too harsh for this conversation. But it wasn’t like you could suddenly force all the anger out of you. It was still there, but you were trying to hold back. Watching him shrug his shoulders but remain completely silent in front of you, you got suspicious. Taking a big step towards him you crossed the distance between the two of you, and you took your time to curl your fingers around his chin and lift his head so he had to face you. For a second his gaze drilled into yours before it quickly jumped away and he tried to make himself look even smaller. Studying his featured you quickly jumped to conclusions. “Your eyes are red, have you been crying?” You asked, a little shocked by the sight of his tear strained cheeks, which you hadn’t noticed before in the dark. Your eyes widened when all of a sudden his forehead scrunched and a sob came over his lips. Instantly your arms curled around him, pulling him in close. It wasn’t often that you got to see him cry, especially not like this. His body shook a he circled his arms around your waist, holding onto you. You couldn’t believe that you had been scolding him while he was in this kind of state, you felt terrible. “I can never go anything right…I up everything.” He slurred into the crook of your neck, his tears rolling into your jacket. Brushing one of your hands up and down his back you braided the other one inside of his hair, hoping that he would calm down. You hated it if he said things like this about himself. You could tell something had happened at practice that had caused his distressed, and instead of making him feel better you had been adding oil to the fire. “Of course not Taehyngie… You’re only trying your best, it’s the only thing you can do.” You muttered, holding him a little tighter. It didn’t matter if your toes were going to fall off from the cold, you weren’t planning on letting him go until he was feeling better. 

Jungkook

It was late and it was dark when you finally arrived at your porch and you were so happy that the day was over. You were sure it was the longest day you had had in a very long time. Resting your head against the carseat you watched the lights that were still on inside of the house, indicating that your boyfriend had waited up for you until you returned or he had gone to bed without turning them off. He still wasn’t used to the fact that s were no longer around to do it for him. It had been a few months since the two of you had moved in together, and so far you were glad that the only thing you’d had to worry about so far was him shutting down the lights before going to sleep. Heaving a deep sigh you reached for your bag on the passenger seat before you finally climbed out of the vehicle, making sure to lock it behind you. The four winkers flickered against the dark bricks of the house as you busied yourself searching for your keys. Pushing aside your phone, wallet and other useless things you kept inside of your bag you eventually found them at the bottom. The iron was cold against your touch as you picked them up and searched for the keyhole in the door. It took you at least three shots before you were able to shove it inside. Jesus, you were a wreck, you really needed your bed. Twisting the key you heard the way the locks opened one by one until you could no longer turn any further, which was your key to head in. Pressing down the handle you entered in the heated hallway, feeling the way your cold fingers started to tingle. You hated these times of the year where it would be cold during the mornings and evenings, but when it would be too warm during the day, making dressing properly almost impossible. Placing the set of keys on the small table in the corner you smiled when you spotted the picture frame on top of it, showing a picture of the two of you on one of your first dates. 

Kicking off your shoes and slipping out of your jacket you placed both of them neatly in the closed down the hall before you began making your way towards the living room. His soft snoring reached your ears before you’d seen him. A smile instantly popped out on your face. It was so sweet from him that he tried to stay up until you came home, even though you were sure he was just as exhausted as you were. It didn’t mean that the two of you lived together now that your careers had gone downhill. You were both still as busy as you’d ever been. Silently you shuffled into the direction of the sound, only to stop in the middle of the doorway. The sight of him propped up on the couch was quite an adoring one. He was spread out on the sofa, his head lulled to the side so it wasn’t even resting on the pillow anymore and his arm had fallen off, his hand brushing against the floor with each breath he took. He looked so much at ease, all of the worries missing from his features. Zooming in on his face you noticed the way his mouth hung slightly open, his long lashes resting on his cheekbones. There were small red spots spread across of his cheeks and small red circles visible around his eyes. A frown appeared in between your eyebrows when this thought popped up into your head. His eyes weren’t supposed to be red. Slightly worried you walked over to him, moving down on the edge of the couch, trying your best not to wake him. The tear strains you saw on his cheeks surprised you. What had happened while you were gone? Lifting your hand you brushed it through his hair, watching the way he scrunched his nose before his eyes fluttered open. It seemed as if he didn’t really know where he was at first, but eventually his gaze focussed on you and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 

“Hey…” He said softly, his voice a little bit raw as his fingers reached out for yours. Tugging them out of his hair he held your hand cradled in his on top of his chest. His hold was soft but firm as his look wandered away from you, his thoughts already drifting off again. A part of you expected him to start talking about how his day had been, like he usually did after the two of you saw each other after a long day. Or ask you how you were, which was another way for him to start a conversation, but he remained silent. “How are you?” You asked, realizing that nothing was about to come from him. You sensed that something wasn’t right and you weren’t sure if you should drag it out of him. It was late and you were both tired, perhaps he didn’t feel like talking about it. But as he shrugged his shoulders, heaving a deep sigh, you knew that you couldn’t let it go. There was something about the look in his eyes that caused your gut to get the feeling that this really couldn’t wait. There seemed to be a certain weight pressing down on him and knowing that it had made him cry was enough to know that it was serious. “You’re never this quiet. What’s wrong?” You asked him, and by the way he stared back at you, you could tell that you had surprised him with your question. He probably hadn’t expected you to notice anything. But sometimes he seemed to forget that you knew him better than he realized. His mouth opened, then closed again, as if he wasn’t sure what to say. You didn’t want him to doubt trusting you, you needed him to know that he could talk to you about his feelings, even if they weren’t happy ones. Everyone always expected him to be happy, but not you. So you decided to take another step forward, knowing that this could either cause him to open up or close off completely. “Baby, your eyes are red. Have you been crying?” 

For a minute it remained completely silent inside of the room and you were afraid that you had lost this encounter. You really wished he would stop piling everything up inside. Yet, as if on cue his bottom lip suddenly started quivering slightly and as he pushed himself upright on the couch you could see his eyes fill themselves with fresh tears. Stunned, you sat there as he circled his arms around you, pressing his face into the crook of your neck. Taken aback when a sob rattled him you wrapped him into a tight hug. Something wet fell against the side of your throat and you could feel actual sorrow rip through you as you heard him cry. Jungkook wasn’t a crier, whatever had caused him to get this upset, it had to be serious. “It’s okay…” You muttered softly, patting his hair soothingly in the hope that it would make him feel better. He squeezed you a little closer and you let him. Right now you wanted to be his rock, the shoulder that he could cry on. You wanted him to remember that you would always be the person who was there for him, no matter what. So when his sobs turned into hiccups you slowly lowered the both of you back onto the couch, making sure he could nestle himself into you. cuddling him against you, you felt the way he hid his face against your chest and heaved a deep sigh. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” You muttered, combing your fingers through his hair. For a moment you thought he had fallen asleep on top of you, but after a while he lifted his head, his red eyes locking with yours. Sending him a sad and compassionate smile you wiped away the leftovers of tears from his cheeks. “Thank you, for being here.” He suddenly said, astonishing you. Stretching your neck you quickly pecked his lips before you drew him close again, feeling how he made himself comfortable. “Of course, always.”