The last time I saw him,  his beautiful orbs were filled with unshed tears. 

The last time I talked to him,  he refrained himself from cursing on me, his beautiful lips quivered badly. 

The last time I hugged him, he didn't even hug me back and I didn't feel the warmness. 

The last time I stared at him,  he didn't look back at me even once. 

Maybe if he did,  things would be different now. 

Maybe. 

Everything was my fault to begin with,  who am I kidding?

Lying on my uncomfortable bed,  I stared at the ceilling in a daze. Wondering if I could be happy if I didn't made that one stupid decision. 

Regret is all I felt right now.

Can I somehow fixed my mistakes? 

Would he forgive me? 

I'll pray for tomorrow to be kind to me.. 

----------

I almost lose my sanity when I arrived at his apartment which were basically empty. The furnitures were wrapped in white sheets and hell,  the apartment was dusty,  an indication that no person is living there for a long time! I was feeling rather hopeful earlier because the password never changed but the moment I stepped into the apartment, all my hopes were crushed. He no longer lives here! 

At that time, I could only replay all the sweet memories we had there. He would cook whenever I got home and then we would cuddle while watching tv. All that precious memories ran through my brain and I felt my heart ached badly. 

But he kept his one promise. 

He never sell this house. 

"Even if we break up one day, I think that I'll never sell this apartment because it holds so much memories. I'll move out and you can stay here since you pay more for this"

And my heart ached more. I always told him that I hate it when he said this house was mine. I bought it for the two of us. 

I reached for my phone in the pocket and dial a number that I'm sure 100% the person on the other line will pick up my call. 

A familiar voice greeted me happily and I almost smiled listening to it. Almost. 

"Yah hyung!!  Where are you? You're supposed to tell the members first if you're going to discharge. The fans are upset that yo-"

"Dongwoo" I called to him firmly because I know that is the only way to get him to focus on what I say. He stopped talking immediately. I sighed as I pinched my nose bridge,  feeling fatique all of sudden. 

"The old apartment is empty. Where did he go? "

The silence on the other line told me that Dongwoo was not going to let me know easily so I begged him. 

"Don't you want to spend your time with your family first since you've just got discharged. You should go back to Jeonju for now-"

"Dongwoo! I spent a week with my family for your information. Damn, just let me know where he is won't you? " I was suprised at how pathetic I sound but I don't care.  I really missed him that I think I'm going crazy. 

"I'm sorry hyung,  I can't tell you that. All that I can tell you is that he's currently busy with his musical schedules these days.  Maybe you can ask the managers so that you guys can meet up? "

"I can do that but will he want to meet me? "

Dongwoo sighed. "Honestly I don't know hyung. You were aware of what happened between the both of you before you got enlisted. I just hope that you guys can fix it. Can you do that for me? "

"I 'll try Dongwoo-ah. Can you help me with one more thing? "

"What is it? "

" Can you send me the managers'number and his new number? "

Dongwoo sighed again. "He'll get very upset if I give you his number. That can't do. I'll just send you the managers' numbers"

"Yah!  Since when you learn how to disobey me? " Sunggyu almost gasped at Dongwoo's actions. He used to respect him the most. What happened? 

He could heard Dongwoo's chuckles on the other line. "Well lets say that I got used to this since two years ago. I didn't know that having some power is this great"

"What do you mean ? Don's start saying ridiculous things here"

"Ah,  I forgot that you're back now. Now the title are back to you, leadernim. I must get used to your command once again"

Sunggyu frowned although Dongwoo can't see him. "What are you talking about?  I clearly gave the position to Woohyun"

"I don't know what happened between the both of you but I'm sure you are. Don't ask me. Two weeks after you got enlisted,  he suddenly spoke to the CEO that he couldn't  do it, being a leader "

"And? "

"Sajangnim obviously passed the position to me duh,  since I'm the oldest in Infinite. I can't refuse it"

The new information made my heart ached even more.In the past he would always said that he would be the most ideal leader to Infinite.  I uttered a soft 'okay' and I ended the call. 

-------------

I walked aimlessly through our neighbourhood. How the place seemed like it hadn't change at all during the time I was gone. I smiled looking at the toddlers playing at the nearby playground. If he was with me,  he would not hesitate to approach those children and mingle with them. He would talk animatedly to them and would not hesitate to buy them some ice creams too.

Feeling so drained suddenly,  I sat on the nearest bench. Looking at the bright sky,  I wondered if the sky would be brighter if he is here with me.

I hurt him so much this time. 

I wondered if he can forgive me. 

I looked at the number that Dongwoo sent me. Did I really have the courage to call the managers ? And then speak to Woohyun? 

But I missed him. We didn't see each other for two years already. The members used to visit me in the military when they are not busy but Woohyun never did though he always send me some food through the members. 

And with that determination,  I pressed the call button. 

.

.

.

No answer.  Maybe I called at the wrong time. 

I was about to put my phone away when the number called me back. I accepted it quickly. 

"Sunggyu ah.. Its been a long time. Shouldn't you greet and say hi at the company? Sajangnim is quite upset that you got discharged without telling him"

I chuckled, " Yes, its been a long time hyung. I'll greet sajangnim and the rest of the staff later but for now can you get Woohyun for me?  I want to talk to him " I asked in one breath. 

"Woohyunnie?  Ah.. he's busy rehearsing right now. They just started and it might take hours to finish. Is it urgent? " The manager kindly asked. 

Its urgent for the state of my heart. 

I wished I could say that but thinking back,  I shouldn't be bothering him when he need to focus. Back then when I was having musical schedules, he was always so understanding.  

Does he even know that I'm back?  

Maybe he doesn't even want to know anything about me anymore. 

"Sunggyu? "

"Ah..hyung.. its okay if he's busy. Say hi to him for me" The manager was quiet for a while before he spoke again. 

"You need to fix this the first thing after you came back from the military. What are you doing for days,  not contacting anyone besides your family? Even the members were surprised as they knew you got discharged from the fans"

The managers knew,  the managers always knew about my relationship with Woohyun. 

I pinched my temple. I was an idiot and still an idiot even after two years. 

"D-did he ate? " I couldn't help myself from asking. 

The manager sighed and I didn't like it. "You know how he is. He barely ate these days and I had to make sure that at least his blood pressure doesn't get too low "

"I miss him" I blurted out. 

"I know but I can't get him now. He'll be distracted even more. Please, if he is distracted he'll take longer time to finish the rehearsal. He need to rest. He just got back from Japan two days ago, he's tired enough"

"Where did he live now? "

"Sunggyu.. "

"Our old apartment is empty,  I checked it earlier"

"Why are you even d