‹  2015 | TOP’s place  › 

Rising from his bed, TOP yawns wearily. How you can have all the luxury to rest but never feel well-rested is a mystery he has yet to solve. He has no idea what time it is, but it seems that the night hasn’t fallen yet. Damn, he had intended to sleep through the day. Reaching for the phone on his side, TOP almost instantly lets go of the damned buzzing machine. Waves of notifications flashing constantly make him feel like he’s in some kind of fictional world where someone presses fast forward. It’s kind of freaky. But it’s also sweet to think that all the notifications are from VIPs wishing him a happy birthday and sending him good vibes. Probably some of them are from his contacts and family as well. An image pops up in his head. Surely she must’ve already sent him something? Clearing his throat awkwardly as if there’s someone watching him getting all flustered at the thought, TOP picks up the phone. Apparently it’s 2:31 in the afternoon. His finger rests on the screen for a moment, hesitating to get back to some of the missed calls but then everything blacks out. It’s dead. Sighing, TOP plugs in the charger. He’s not in the mood to talk anyway. Now what’s a breakfast worthy of celebrating his new age? Or rather, lunch? Even that is quite a stretch.

TOP doesn’t like birthdays. Maybe he did get a little excited whenever the day came up when he was little, but as time went on, it felt less and less important. More precisely, he feels like something like this shouldn’t get him all pumped up, just like a kid. Even though he’s this age already, he himself knows that he can be a real big baby. It’s fun to put on a show and make himself the jokester of the day, but sometimes TOP really just doesn’t know how to act. His brain gets overwhelmed from calculating the appropriate times to switch back and forth between adult mode and kid mode, it’s really tiring. Youth won’t last forever, even though there were certain moments that almost fooled him into believing that it could. TOP groans, feeling himself getting into a grim train of thoughts. He dreads thinking about the future, today he just wants to cocoon here in his abode and watch the day goes by. At times like these, he usually wouldn’t want to be alone. He considered calling someone up but then the phone just had to die on him. Today is absolutely his day, huh?

The other members are all more than thrilled to have 2 weeks off in Korea but TOP can’t wait to get himself back on track again. He saw Park Bom once since he landed—on the very first day when he just got off the plane, even—but they didn’t manage to stay together for long. Park Bom has been staying with her parents since she’s been on hiatus and the house wasn’t exactly an ideal dating spot. She also didn’t seem to want to be seen in public or go outside anymore which he totally understood, but it still disappointed him big time. They hadn’t seen each other for months, and they won’t be seeing any more of each other anytime soon. If he can’t see her when he’s here then what’s the point of going back? He’d much rather surround himself in the lullaby of chants when he’s on stage. TOP flinches, the liquor in his glass sways from his sudden movement. Doesn’t it sound like he’s desperate to feel loved? No. No, it doesn’t. Even if it does, he’s the last person on earth who’d have to fret over that.

TOP looks at his reflection on the decor mirror. He has a deadpan expression on his face. His disheveled hair is all over the place, some strands standing up firmly without a need for any hair gel. Despite his delicate posture with one hand holding up a glass of wine, TOP looks ragged in his striped pajamas. The only thing missing is a woman to murder like in the Loser MV. TOP turns head, snorting to himself. Who does he need, right? He’s his own source of amusement. 

The doorbell rings. TOP puts down the glass and looks over his shoulder to the door. Not expecting any visitors today, he tiptoes towards the mini screen tapped on the wall. He clicks his tongue. If it’s someone he knows, he’ll just hold his breath and wait for them to leave. Come on, he’s having a moment to himself here! The screen shows a delivery man with his head hung low, possibly looking down at the huge package he’s carrying. Well, this shouldn’t take up a lot of his time. TOP opens the door. He’s barely managed to say anything when the person pushes him out of the way and barges in.

“What are you-”

He stops mid-sentence and wastes no time closing the door behind him. TOP lunges toward the intruder and quite literally nearly sweeps the red head off her feet, giving her a massive bear hug filled with affection. He’s over the moon. Park Bom gasps in surprise but doesn’t pull away. She shifts slightly.

”Idiot, this position isn’t comfortable for anyone. At least wait until I’ve taken off my hat.”

“No can do. I’m never gonna let you go.” 

“You will.” She wraps her around him playfully