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Aftermath Haunting

Hei was more exhausted than she realized, because when she finished warning the crew to light their lanterns, she barely finished striking two of the lamps in her own cabin before collapsing into the bed next to Baekhyun. To her relief, he didn’t stir from his spot, surprisingly asleep.

The possibility of nightmares whispered to her, but she was too tired to care. There was also the very real threat of the shadow creatures, but there was enough wax in the lanterns to keep them from burning out and she barred the door tightly, so she brushed the thought away. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow, for once lying a distance away from Baekhyun.

It was Baekhyun’s hoarse yelling that woke Hei up. She heard her name, then something she couldn’t decipher, and then she was sitting awake staring at Baekhyun.

He seemed to have also woken himself up too. He was hunched over his knees, clenching the blankets and staring at the last of the lamplight, sweat beading on his forehead. Hei heard him take a sharp breath, then another.

She was still tired, but the fact remained that he had had nightmares bad enough to wake him in such a way, and that made her slightly more lucid. Hei touched his arm. “Are you alright?”

Baekhyun took a shuddering breath and looked towards her. His eyebrows drew together. “You’re okay,” he whispered.

Perhaps the nightmare had been so bad that it wiped away the fear—temporarily—that he’d hurt her, because Hei offered a hand to Baekhyun and he took it. She wrapped her fingers around his, and his hands tightened in response.

Baekhyun had nightmares, she knew, on rare nights. They had never been bad, and he had dealt with them quietly on his own. Even the worst of it, after Regiis, felt like a fraction to this.

Carefully, Hei wrapped her arms around Baekhyun, hoping that he wouldn’t pull away. He didn’t, to her relief, but returned the hug, burying his face in her shoulder. “You’re okay,” he murmured like a mantra. “You’re fine.”

Hei squeezed his hands. “Go back to sleep.”

“Will you stay?”

She nodded. He seemed to be reassured about that, too exhausted to think more, and eased back down onto the bed, arms wrapped around her. It was far from how they usually were, but if Hei closed her eyes, she could pretend it was normal. She leaned into Baekhyun’s chest, searching for his familiar heartbeat, and drifted off too.

He was gone the next morning when she woke up, his side of the bed cold, although he had tucked the blankets in around her. Despite that, she couldn’t fight the chill that crept down her spine.

***

Jinqiong was informed of the shadow monsters, as Hei had named them, but she hadn’t seen them. By the time she made her way upstairs for her shift with Junmyeon, the darkness had cleared from the waters, and they were travelling through grey seas and grey skies once more. She supposed it was a good thing, though, given that apparently Chanyeol’s power was the only thing that was successful against the monsters. Invisibility and water wasn’t going to do much.

Junmyeon was even less chatty than usual, which meant he practically didn’t say a word. Jinqiong perched on the railing again, watching the horizon as he steered. Nothing happened during the whole shift, and she was about to find Luhan for information about the gem when she crashed into Byun Baekhyun going downstairs.

He had slept, according to Hei, but she looked just as troubled as she had been before. Now, staring at the man before her, Jinqiong couldn’t tell if he had gotten any semblance of rest for days. He still looked absolutely shattered.

“Did you talk to Hei?” she blurted out, even if his expression was enough of an answer. Or, if they did talk, it hadn’t gone well.

Baekhyun looked at her, eyebrows drawing together. “Pardon?”

“Hei said you’ve been avoiding her,” she replied. Jinqiong realized a little too late that it wasn’t really her place to pry, and she wasn’t really fancying striking up a conversation with Byun Baekhyun either. Still, she couldn’t back out, and given that Hei had gotten nothing out of him, she wondered if she could give it a go. After all, he had been avoiding Hei because he was scared of hurting her. Jinqiong was by far his least favorite person aboard the ship, so at least he had nothing to be worried about.

Sure enough, irritation flashed across Baekhyun’s face. “It’s none of your business,” he said sharply. “I’m grateful that you came when you did and stopped my father, but it’s between Hei and me.”

Jinqiong felt bad for him—she really did, and she knew just exactly why Baekhyun had been so terrified. But he wasn’t the only one suffering, and it was clear that him keeping his distance was doing nothing to help Hei.

“Hei’s my sister,” she told him pointedly. “She’s currently carrying your unborn child and going through hell, quite literally, and the last thing she needs is you ignoring her because you’re afraid of hurting her.”

It came out a lot harsher than Jinqiong intended. It hit her the moment the irritation on his face turned into anger. “What do you know?” he snapped. “It’s that easy to you, isn’t it?”

She met his gaze. “Song Hei isn’t made of glass, and the fact that she’s more scared for you than for herself proves that. She’s not frightened of you.”

Baekhyun’s scowl deepened. “You don’t know,” he started in a low, dangerous voice. At least it was obvious he wasn’t walking on eggshells around her. Another indication that Byun Baekhyun didn’t care about her at all, but Jinqiong supposed it was a good thing. “You don’t know what it’s like to be forced to carve up the person you love with your own hands. You don’t know what it was like to say things to her that you knew she hated and would scare her and hurt her. Stop pretending that you’re some saint trying to fix this whole situation when you don’t understand a thing.”

“Saint?” Jinqiong echoed incredulously. “You think I’m trying to play hero? I’m trying to say that you’re not the only one suffering right now, and you’re making it worse for Hei to have to shoulder everything. You’re not just scared of hurting her. You’re scared that after that, she’s scared of you, so you’re keeping your distance. Because you couldn’t protect her this time.”

Baekhyun’s face was dark. “Since when did you care about Song Hei?” he snapped.

Something truly ugly rose inside of her at that accusation. “You’re not the only one who can care about her,” she bit back. “And right now, I’m sure as hell doing a better job of it than you are.”

Baekhyun looked like she had struck him across the face, and Jinqiong wondered if he would hit her. “Bull,” he spat. “If you cared, you wouldn’t be leaving after all of this again. After you’ve used all of us. If you cared, you would’ve sacrificed something, but the only thing you’ve done is ask us for our sacrifices. None of yours.”

Jinqiong opened to say something, but she wasn’t sure what there was anything to say. She was leaving, after all. There had never been another option when she thought about it. In the beginning it was a simple decision, one that didn’t require any thought, but now it brought an unwelcome tug to her chest. Still, there was nothing else to do but leave. The accusation struck deep, and she ignored the sting.

The only thing you’ve done is ask us for our sacrifices. None of yours.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” Baekhyun asked. The venom in his tone was bitter, and Jinqiong realized that while his words hit home, so had hers. “You’ve asked everything of Song Hei, and she’s given it to you because she cares about you. But what did you give in return? You said she’s literally going through hell? Isn’t it because of you that all of us are?”

When Jinqiong didn’t reply, Baekhyun his heel. “I thought so,” he said harshly. “So maybe you should consider yourself before you try to lecture me.”

Where was he wrong? Nowhere, really. She hadn’t done anything for the crew but demanded this of them. Even then…

“Hei doesn’t need your protection,” she told Baekhyun, and he spun around to look at her.

“What?”

“She’s not some porcelain doll,” Jinqiong replied against all common sense. “Maybe you’ll find it easier to get over if you stopped treating her like such. She’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself, and the only thing your distance has done is hurt her. You might tell yourself otherwise, but the only reason you’re doing this is because you can’t get over your own fear.”

Baekhyun blinked once, then twice. Then a cold anger washed over his features.

“Get out of my sight,” he said in a low voice.

Jinqiong couldn’t help herself. “Look at you,” she taunted. “So righteous. Ignoring Hei because you love her so much. And sending me away because what? Face it, you’re mad because I’m right—”

Baekhyun flung his arm out at her, and a sharp gust of wind knocked her off the steps going to the helm. Jinqiong landed awkwardly, barely managing to roll to avoid the impact, her still-injured leg throbbing at the action. Anger flashed across his face, untamed and livid, and she saw Baekhyun move again, no doubt summoning again. At least he had absolutely zero worries about harming her. Which was great, because she was also looking for a fight to pick.

Jinqiong darted out of the way as he sent another sharp gust of wind in her direction before drawing her daggers. If Byun Baekhyun was going to kill her, then she wasn’t going to stand idly and let him.

“This,” he snarled, “was all your fault. We would never have returned to the gates if it weren’t for you, and yet—”

“Yet what?” Jinqiong demanded. Baekhyun drew his cutlass, and she tossed her dagger as hard as she could at the blade. “This is all my fault, so you’re blameless?”

Her aim was accurate enough to knock it from his fingers. It tumbled uselessly towards the deck, but her dagger also went skidding along with it. The ship jolted, waves churning, and she wondered briefly if it were smarter to disperse the situation instead of riling Baekhyun up more. Still, he’d attacked her, and her head was roaring, demanding for a fight, anger from his words clouding her senses. She had hit spot on, but Baekhyun had too.

“Well?” she goaded when Baekhyun reached for his own knives. “Why don’t you do Song Hei a favor and get rid of me right now, and spare her the tears when I leave afterwards?”

He threw the knife. It hadn’t been aimed for anywhere fatal but for her leg—or at least Jinqiong thought so. She moved away and slashed at Baekhyun with her own dagger. He parried, both of them left with one weapon each, and Jinqiong focused on his blade, turning it invisible and—

“What the hell are you doing?” Junmyeon demanded.

Both of them froze. At least they had the common sense to do so.

She heard Junmyeon’s steps when he came up behind them, eyebrows furrowed and a hint of anger on his face. Jinqiong hadn’t even heard the door open. “What’s wrong with the both of you?”

Baekhyun was breathing hard—not from exertion, she thought, but probably anger—as he dropped his arm holding the knife. She could see the barely contained fury when he looked at her, but his gaze didn’t linger. Roughly, he sheathed his knife and went to pick up his cutlass.

“What were you doing?” Junmyeon asked again. “We’re in the middle of Hell’s Gate, and you’re both fighting like children? There’s no one on the helm, for heaven’s sake.”

Baekhyun seemed to realize. He pressed his lips together, jaw ticking, before he moved past Junmyeon. “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

Junmyeon glanced at him as he strode for his own cabin. He didn’t look angry anymore, just slightly worried, but he didn’t say anything to Baekhyun as he disappeared inside. Jinqiong struggled to even out her own breathing, anger begging at her to continue. Being cooped up on the ship had her itching for a fight. Or perhaps it was Baekhyun’s words that did that.

“I expected you to have more common sense,” Junmyeon told her.

“Then you really don’t me well,” she snapped back.

He raised his hands in a placating gesture. “I don’t know what happened,” he replied. “But Byun Baekhyun’s not exactly the most stable right now, and you know that very well.”

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