o23

Crossroads

Just when Hei was pretty sure it couldn’t get any worse, she crashed into Jongdae as soon as she got out of Yuxuan’s cabin. 

She had initially been intending to go up to the deck and somehow try to clear her head (or actually sort things out properly, because a large part of her still refused to believe what Yuxuan said. It was absolutely absurd, but she kept on wondering if she’d wake up or if Yuxuan would come out and tell her it was a joke and she just had a terrible case of seasickness that could be treated later). She would then have to sort out what to say to Baekhyun and how to say it and when to say it, except the beginning two weren’t that hard—the when to say, however, was a huge problem. Because there was no time in the near future that she could think of that was even a relatively good time, and this wasn’t something she wanted to or should keep from Baekhyun. 

Jongdae pulled her out of her thoughts. “What’s wrong?” he asked, and Hei turned around, already feeling like she’d been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to. 

“What’s wrong?” she echoed. Her voice sounded much more composed than she felt, and Hei wondered briefly where the calm even came from. “What do you mean?” 

Jongdae lifted a shoulder in a helpless gesture. “Song Jinqiong’s in a bad mood and I think the only thing that can placate her is my head on a platter, but that’s pretty normal. Why did you come out of Yuxuan’s cabin? Are you sick?” 

“Seasick,” Hei corrected. “There’s been pretty bad storms, especially because we’re so close to Hell’s Gate, and I asked her if she could fix up something.” 

It wasn’t a lie, and that was the problem, because Jongdae took it without batting an eyelash. “The storms have been pretty bad,” he agreed as she swallowed the guilt. “You haven’t sailed for a while too, right?” 

Hei winced. At least that was real. “Not really,” she replied. “I guess I’m not used to it anymore.” 

Jongdae sighed. “It feels nice being on sea.” 

“Say that when you’re in Hell’s Gate,” she grumbled as they headed up the stairs. The nausea had gone with whatever it had been that Yuxuan had given her to drink, although it hadn’t helped the least bit with the dread. 

The fresh air was welcome, nonetheless, carrying the scent of salt like usual. Hei took a deep breath, wondering if it would be even near enough to clear her ahead. 

Jongdae touched her shoulder. “According to our maps, we should be nearing Hell’s Gate pretty soon,” he said. “We’ll actually be there in a day. Baekhyun says midday tomorrow if the winds hold up.” 

That made her feel worse, but it was easy to play off the dejection because they were going to Hell’s Gate. “I’m excited,” she told him drily. 

Jongdae rolled his eyes. “I’m not,” he replied drily. “But if we are to go through the sectors and we manage to go to the two we haven’t been in before, I think it would be interesting to see what the powers of the other family leaders are. It might even help.” 

Hei raised an eyebrow at him despite herself. She could almost pretend everything was as normal as it could be entering Hell’s Gate again. “Before you get ahead of yourself, you do remember what the sectors are? And are you sure you’re not excited? You sound excited enough.” 

Another eye roll. “I’m not,” he said. “But, well… it’s useful information. The only sector we can cross right now is the fifth, and even that’s not ideal. It might be worth a shot going through the other two, and if there’s a way to stay close to the edge so we can switch back into the fifth sector as quickly as possible, then maybe it could work. Just to see what it’s like.” 

The last time they’d been in the fifth sector the ship had nearly been torn to pieces by the kraken, so it wasn’t that bad an idea. Maybe it was possible that they wouldn’t meet any worse monsters, or maybe they’d crash into a second kraken. Or encounter something so powerful that they wouldn’t have time to fight back before being pulled underwater. It was all a possibility, and Jongdae was right that perhaps going through another sector was a better idea. 

“You have a point,” she finally said. “But still. Maybe the second sector is actually just empty now.” 

Jongdae shot her a look. “None of us believe that. You don’t either.” 

She pressed her lips together. “But we’re not certain either.” 

Another small shake of his head before he patted her shoulder. “I was going to grab a drink in the mess hall,” he said. “I’ll see you later. You should probably tell Baekhyun if the seasickness gets worse. Maybe his steering is that terrible.” 

He turned away before he could see her flinch, and Hei got out a half-hearted goodbye before Jongdae had disappeared down the corner. Hell’s Gate was just another reminder. They’d barely made it out alive last time. And this—without the second sector, it was going to take more than a miracle to get everyone out alive. The crew was going in knowing that full well, as did she and Baekhyun, but there had been one factor she hadn’t accounted for. And, really, she didn’t have the right to keep it as her decision. 

But what else? Baekhyun would turn the ship around without hesitation. He had been reluctant already, and it didn’t require much to push him to a tipping point. This was more than enough. I’m pregnant was probably enough to abandon it completely and sell Jinqiong off to Junsu, and she couldn’t do that either. 

Those were the only two options. The third was jumping off the ship, and it was beginning to sound very appealing. 

With nothing but more things to worry about after the conversation with Jongdae, Hei headed for the cabin, hoping that Baekhyun wasn’t there. There was one day until Hell’s Gate. If she told him after they went in, maybe he couldn’t turn back? Or he could just go back through the gates. She didn’t know. Maybe if she convinced Baekhyun to drop her off at a safehouse, they could still free Taeyong and separate Jinqiong from the gem. If only there was more time.

Hei was so wrapped up in thought that she didn’t even see Jinqiong until there was a sharp tug on her arm. Before she could react, she had been pulled through a door—her cabin, she realized, and then all but slammed it shut behind them. 

Problems forgotten for a second, Hei stared at Jinqiong with wide eyes. “What’s gotten into you—” she started. 

“We’re turning back right now,” Jinqiong hissed. 

Hei stared at her, too surprised to say anything. The interior of the cabin was too dark for her to see much, and the lantern, a couple paces away, had died a long time ago. 

“Come again?” she asked as she freed her wrist from Jinqiong’s grip and moved for the light. “We’re a day from Hell’s Gate, Jinqiong—” 

“We can find another curse to break. Jongdae can look for Taeyong some other time. You can’t—” 

“Why so suddenly? And you know it’s not that easy to just… find a curse to break. We only know about Taeyong and Junsu.” The match struck, and Hei held up the lantern. She nearly dropped it when she saw Jinqiong. 

Her sister didn’t look as angry as she sounded, but she looked actually frightened. The lighting was far from perfect, but her face was completely drained of colour, and despite the disapproving dip of her eyebrows she actually looked… worried? Or was it guilt? 

A creeping suspicion niggled at the back of her mind. The last time she’d ignored it had put her in the worst spot ever, so, slowly, she managed, “Did Yuxuan say something to you?” 

“No,” Jinqiong snapped. “No, Yuxuan didn’t say something, but the walls in the cabins below deck are unbelievably thin and you can hear a lot of things from cabins beside yours.” 

Cabins beside yours. There was Jongdae’s cabin, Jinqiong’s, and then the one Luhan and Junmyeon were currently sharing. She’d seen both of them before she had found Yuxuan, and it had been so quiet that Hei was certain there had been no one there when she had spoken to Yuxuan. Except Jinqiong, apparently. 

felt unbelievably dry. “We can’t turn back.” 

Jinqiong rounded on her. “Are you insane?” she demanded. “Maybe Baekhyun’s right that this whole thing was because I’m selfish and I dragged you all with me, but—” Her voice broke for a second and she trailed off, looking as if she were struggling to regain her composure before continuing, “but I’m not cruel. I’ve heard about how bad Hell’s Gate can and will get, and there is no way you’re going in there when you’re pregnant. I have no right to ask you to risk your life for me in the first place, but this—either you tell Baekhyun to turn back right now, or I will.” 

It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over her. “Don’t,” she got out, and it sounded like a plea. Hei swallowed thickly and tried to find her voice. “Jinqiong, please. You can’t.” 

She was fixed with a hard stare. “I can. I can go right now and tell Byun Baekhyun that you’re pregnant and we both know he’ll turn the ship around in an instant.” 

“You’re not giving me a choice—” 

“Because I’m sure you’re going to make the wrong one!” Jinqiong jabbed a finger at her. Hei flinched back. “I already know what you’re going to do. You’re going to be all self noble like you’ve been since day one and you’re not going to tell your husband about this and you’re going to keep quiet about it until we’re in Hell’s Gate and there’s no turning around. That’s what you were planning, right?” 

She hesitated. “I don’t know,” she protested weakly. “I just found out. I didn’t even think it through properly.” 

Jinqiong was unrelenting. “That’s what you’re going to do. And I won’t let you.” 

“This just isn’t about you.” 

“It’s about Lee Taeyong? It doesn’t change the fact that this is too dangerous. Forget it. I’m telling Baekhyun whether or not you like it.”

Everything Jinqiong said made perfect sense. Part of her wished Jinqiong would walk out of there that moment and tell Baekhyun just to make things easier for her. But it wasn’t enough, because with some sudden surge of anger Hei couldn’t pinpoint, she snatched Jinqiong’s wrist. “Don’t,” she snapped. “This isn’t for you to decide.” 

“Not for me to decide?” Jinqiong echoed incredulously. “Maybe I’ve been the absolute tiest sister ever, but no matter what, there is no way I’m letting you go through Hell’s Gate when you’re carrying a child.” 

“Junsu will kill you if you wait longer.” 

“And maybe that’ll be for the best,” she snarled back. “I’m not you, Song Hei. No doting husband that’ll mourn me if I get as much as a scratch on my arm. Face it. What do you think Byun Baekhyun will do if either you get hurt or his child? You can deny this all you want, but your death will have much more impact than mine will.” 

That’s not true, she wanted to protest. But Jinqiong wasn’t exactly wrong either. 

“Jongdae will care,” Hei finally got out. “So will I. So will other people.” 

She got a bitter look in return. “Other people,” she parroted mockingly, “and then you’ll get over it soon enough. Look, you’re jeopardizing all of us if you go into Hell’s Gate like that. I’m better off on my own.” 

She felt herself freeze. “What do you mean?” 

“Junsu,” Jinqiong replied. “You know what my power is. Invisibility. I can evade Junsu for a while longer. If I’m not around you, it’ll be easier anyway. It’s easier to hide one person than to try to run with eleven. This was a good plan and all, but it was never a solid one. What do we know about the gem that we can even use it to free Taeyong? What if we can’t break that curse? And now you have more of a reason to turn back.” 

“We’re less than a day from Hell’s Gate,” Hei protested weakly, “You can’t just give up like that.” 

“I’m not giving up, except I’m not following the same plan as before.” 

It was probably a low move, and Hei regretted it as soon as she said it, but the question had genuinely been bugging her. Jinqiong was right; she wasn’t cruel. But that didn’t mean she hadn’t acted selfishly many times. And it definitely wasn’t enough for Hei to place a finger on just where the sudden conviction from Jinqiong had come from. 

“Since when did this affect you so much?” she asked. “I don’t mean it… I don’t mean it that way. But you sound—” You sound like Baekhyun? You sound like you actually care and you’re placing this above your own life, and that hadn’t been the case when you came to us in the first place?

“I sound like I care?” Jinqiong gave a stiff shrug. “I said it already, Hei. I dragged you into this mess because I needed a solution, but I’m not cruel. Byun Baekhyun’s been an and I still want to slap him half the time he says things, but neither of you deserve this. Especially you. And especially because you’re forcing yourself to do this because of me. I don’t need that again. I don't need someone’s… someone on my conscience like that.” 

“We can think of another solution,” she tried. 

“No, there aren’t any.” She folded her arms. “Look, this should be a happy moment for you and Baekhyun. You should be telling him and planning a new room for your kid and whatever, not worrying about going through Hell’s Gate for me. I won’t let you. Not when you’re pregnant. So either I tell him or you do, and I’m pretty sure that you’d rather be the one to do that.” 

Hei hadn’t even realized she was biting her lips until she tasted blood. As much as she hated it, Jinqiong was right. Baekhyun deserved to know, and she needed to tell him. If he were to decide to turn back and abandon the whole mission, he had every right. And as much as she wanted to help both Jinqiong and Taeyong, she simply couldn’t. There were other more important priorities. She didn’t owe Jinqiong anything. 

“Do you really think you can make it another six months on your own before Hell’s Gate opens again?” 

The frown began to appear on her face again. “What?” 

“Junsu’s going to hunt you down.” Her voice shook for a second, but Hei managed to keep it under control. “Even if you manage to mask the gem’s magic the whole time, he’s still going to be after you. And maybe this is stupid, but you’re still my sister, and that means I’m going to do everything I can to help you. I don’t care what you think about it.” 

“Would you care even if I wouldn’t do the same?” Jinqiong leaned forward, eyes blazing. The look on her face was so intense that Hei wanted to take a step back, but she stood her ground. “Even if I told you that a two weeks ago, I’d leave you there to die if it meant that I could be free of the damn gem and Byun Junsu?” 

“You’re here now, aren’t you? Offering to go back even though you know very well you might not have another chance?” 

A scoff. “Who says I didn’t?” 

“Then answer the question.” 

Jinqiong didn’t move or speak a word for a good couple of seconds. Crossing her fingers that it was a good sign, Hei started, “Just give me half a day to think this through. I technically found out the same time as you and I haven’t really had time to clear my head. Just… don’t tell anyone for the time being.” 

“Baekhyun won’t be happy about it.” 

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