When your heart is heavy

Live!Man...

 
It was February 7, Sungkyu and Woohyun were out in Chinatown, at the Queen's Bakery, placing an order for a cake to be made the following day (Woohyun's birthday).

 Sungkyu pointed at this one slice of taro cake and begged Woohyun to buy it, "C'mon! I've been sober for over two months, I deserve it!"

 Woohyun spoke after a sigh, "Fine, but it's coming out your bank account."

 "I have a bank account?" Sungkyu was confused, "since when?"

 "You get paid for your work, remember? I thought I told you," Woohyun said while directing the lady behind the counter to get the taro cake.

 "How come you've never given me my bank card, then?"

  Woohyun looked back at Sungkyu with condescending eyes, "You serious? You're a recovering alcoholic. Giving you access to loads of cash is like...hold on, let me think of an example," Woohyun immersed himself in thought before being asked by the lady to pay up.
The two left the store and headed for Woohyun's bike that was parked down the street. 

 "I got it!" Woohyun exclaimed with much excitement, "it's like filling a house with bacon and letting a dog loose inside."

 "Okay..."

 Sungkyu sat in the sidecar and Woohyun mounted the bike after putting his helmet on. After returning to the church, the first place Woohyun headed to was the bathroom. Sungkyu went to their room and took his slice of cake out of the bag with much eagerness. He ate it sloppily, with the cream that topped it falling to the ground, "oops, Woohyun'll clean it." Sungkyu wiped his hand on his pants before loosening the scarf that hung around his neck, " aahh! " Sungkyu went as he called himself dumb for not noticing that he still had cream on his hands. As he was removing the scarf, the cross that hung around his neck hit his collarbone all of a sudden, prompting Sungkyu to hold it in his hand. He set the scarf off to the side and then removed the cross from his neck as well, never actually letting go of it.

He held it up and smiled, "Woohyun actually turned out to be a nice friend," he mused aloud.
 

Then he dropped it and the mind attacks started again. Sungkyu ripped the shirt he was wearing and started pounding at the floor, "Help me!" he cried out. Whispers began filing his ears, "Kill yourself already," " Kill your friend. It's all your fault!" Visions of blood flowing down the ceiling and down his arms caused Sungkyu to stretch out his hand, as though reaching for help.

His hand managed to grasp the necklace that had dropped to the floor and he was at peace again. This time Sungkyu was fully conscious of what happened, "What's wrong with me?" He looked at the cross with bewildered eyes. He was on his knees. He reached for his scarf that was laying on the cot and held it close to his chest, "What's going on with me?"

 He inspected the necklace and noticed the striking similarity it had with the threads that made up the scarf, "Is this..." Sungkyu stared intently at the necklace and saw the strand of hair that was intertwined with it, "this isn't a black thread?" An all consuming wave of confusion swept over Sungkyu. His mouth stayed opened as he kept staring at both the scarf and necklace. He swallowed his spit and decided he was going to set both of them off to the side, but within reaching distance. 

As soon as he let go of both, he started to struggle between what was reality and what was mere hallucination. Sungkyu was gasping for air, stretching his hand to reach for anything, thinking a giant fiery pit had opened beneath him, "Nayeon!" "Woohyun!" he cried out. Then in a moment, he saw Nayeon stretching out her hand to grab hold of his, he closed his eyes and desperately stretched his hand out further until the two finally made contact. He opened his eyes and saw the scarf in his hand. "What's going on with me?!" 

 "Sungkyu!" Woohyun shouted as he ran into the room.

 Sungkyu was drenched in sweat and taking deep breaths to control his breathing.

  Woohyun glanced and at the scarf in Sungkyu's right hand and then at the necklace that was in his left.

 Sungkyu looked up, "Woohyun, something's very wrong."

 Woohyun's shoulders dropped, he took a seat besides Sungkyu and placed his hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry, man."

 Then he confessed to Sungkyu how the scarf (and the necklace that contains its thread) seems to be the only thing that allows him to stay connected to the real world; that without it, he falls to the darkened realm of insanity. Sungkyu had a hard time accepting it, mumbling, "No! It can't be!" But he was forced to, seeing for himself what happens when he loses physical contact with either of the items.

Sungkyu stayed angry the rest of the night, glancing at the scarf often, with the thought of "Why?" smearing all the corners of his heart and mind. His eyes were dim, he felt as though dying would be better than to depend on something so trivial as a mere scarf and cross necklace. He closed his eyes, praying for a good night's rest at the very least. Woohyun took small steps and covered Sungkyu with his blanket, "don't want you to catch a cold on me." Sungkyu ignored him. Woohyun made a noise in his throat, "Maybe you can look forward to my birthday tomorrow, at least? We'll have cake, that'll be good," he told Sungkyu in an attempt to cheer him up. He didn't get a response, though.

Around 3:17 a.m. Sungkyu woke up from another dream. He was transformed, of course, as he kicked Woohyun's cot, "Wake up!"

 Woohyun quickly got ready, all the while thinking, "We only had a month of peace, couldn't we have gotten just a little more?"

 Sungkyu made sure the necklace was safe and fastened the scarf even tighter around his neck, now knowing his life depends on it. He left first, heading for Echo Park Lake. Woohyun followed him as well he could, but his motorcycle was too slow to catch up. He started to doubt: whether his bike was more of a liability rather than an asset.

The moment Woohyun arrived at the scene, he saw Sungkyu doing his best to put up a fight against a person donning a golden armor. The fog was not as thick that night.

 "He's-" Woohyun gasped.

It was the same armored angel that had spared the two of them just over a month ago.

Woohyun approached the battle scene with extreme caution. He saw Sungkyu was losing decisively and felt impotent. "What can I do?!"

 The angel held Sungkyu by his neck and punched his gut, causing Sungkyu to spit out a tremendous amount of blood.

 "Sungkyu!" Woohyun cried out.

 The angel's interest was piqued as to who shouted. His eyes pierced into Woohyun's soul as they made eye contact. He tossed Sungkyu like a rag doll: his body fell at Woohyun's feet. Woohyun quickly dropped to his knees, begging for Sungkyu to get up, "Don't die on me!"

 The angel slowly walked in Woohyun's direction. He had a solemn look on his face, and spoke with a disappointed tone, "He's not dead yet." He stopped in front of Sungkyu's body and kicked it lightly. 

 "Leave him alone!" Woohyun protested as he threw himself on Sungkyu, attempting to shield him.

 "Are you next?"

 Woohyun felt cold, he had fought demons alongside Jaejoong and the fallen angels alongside Sungkyu and never really had he felt this afraid. No experience he had gone through could be compared to the present moment. He prayed for help.

 "Praying won't help."

 Woohyun looked up, hesitantly speaking, "You won't...you won't get away!"

 The angel crossed his arms and smiled, "I could kill him if I want. He is nothing."

 Sungkyu coughed up some blood, "Woohyun- He already killed ten people tonight. I was too late," he coughed up some more blood, "I'm sorry."

 "It's not your fault."

 "Oh, yes it is- you just don't know," the angel interrupted with a slight chuckle.

Woohyun cradled Sungkyu's head, trying to get him to sit up. 

 The angel started to play with the skull that dangled around his neck, "You know where I got this from?"

 Woohyun gulped, "No! You fiend!"
 The angel crouched, keeping his eyes on Woohyun. "They lied to you, you know."

 "What?"

 "Your organization lied to you," he marveled over the skull as he continued, "You want to hold it?"

 "What?!"

 The angel took off the skull (it was attached to a necklace) and tossed it over at Woohyun. Woohyun fumbled, and so the skull bounced on the moist grass and rolled some feet away.

 "Oh! your poor friend!" the angel taunted.

Woohyun was confused, "Sungkyu's right here-"

Then it struck him: it was Jaejoong the angel was talking about.

The angel cut in, "I killed that vampire. Do not fret, he made it to heaven. He'll see you if you get there, if you even get there. You two have an idolatry problem."

Woohyun pushed Sungkyu aside and rushed to get the skull.

 "They lied to you. He's been dead for over two months. That's why the flesh has completely decayed and fallen off."

 Woohyun cried as he noticed a strand of silver hair lodged in a crack.

  "They didn't tell you, because they knew you would lose it, like" he dug his finger into Sungkyu's side, "this ugly one, right here."

 Sungkyu was trying to get up, but the angel stomped him down.
 "Woohyun!"

Woohyun was lost in a world of sorrow. He kept whimpering, "Jaejoong..."

 The angel took some steps backwards and allowed Sungkyu to stand up, although he was struggling to do even that. Sungkyu took these steps in Woohyun's direction that resembled a badly injured dog, limping and limping, doing his best to even keep his balance.

 "I'll let you live for today. But first, how about this?"

 Sungkyu finally made it to Woohyun and embraced him. He never turned back to look at his foe.

 "Until October 8, I will allow you to live. Carry on and see how many of mines you can seal. If you seal all but me, then I'll leave peacefully. If you die, I'll follow along with my desire-" the angel twirled around and paused as he breathed in deeply. He continued, "Behold, it is written of me in the scroll, A body you have prepared for me. I have come to do your will, to cast judgement against an ungodly nation."

 Then he laughed before his long white beard, "We'll only fight you in this province, for it's name is oh, so fitting!" then he disappeared.

 

Sungkyu was urging Woohyun to get a hold of himself.
Woohyun wouldn't answer. He was curled up in a ball, cleaving onto Jaejoong's skull. Sungkyu was shaking him gently, "Come on, Woohyun- we got to get home." He wasn't getting through Woohyun at all. Woohyun kept whimpering, "I had a- a feeling," he sniffled and then wailed without restraint.

 Sungkyu was sitting down beside him, wondering how he could help, yet also sharing in his pain. He glanced at his white scarf and resolved to help Woohyun. "Stand up, Woohyun," he told him with a gentle voice. Woohyun didn't respond, he only kept sobbing.

 Sungkyu took a sigh, saddened by the sight of Woohyun. Then he helped Woohyun get on his feet, he was limp, with Sungkyu being the only thing keeping him up. He then picked Woohyun up, put him on his shoulder, and walked with some trouble to Woohyun's motorcycle that was parked at the curb. Sungkyu grunted with pain as he walked, but he carried on even so.

Sungkyu sat Woohyun on the sidecar and placed the helmet on him, even strapping the strap on his chin, he secured the seatbelt and spoke with a concerned voice, "You have to," he sighed, " you have to move on, it's hard- I know, but" he clenched his fist some, "we can't fall to the pit of despair. Not now." Sungkyu looked up at the black sky for a brief moment before he sat on his seat. They then sped off with their church as their destination. Woohyun still sobbing, finally looked up and saw Sungkyu's scarf billowing in the wind as he drove. The sight of the silver cross around  Sungkyu's neck caught his attention as some moonlight reflected off of it, prompting Woohyun to cry some more.

Once at the church, Sungkyu undid Woohyun's seatbelt, took off his helmet and carried him on his shoulder to their room. He sat him delicately onto his cot and was waiting for him to say a word, but Woohyun never even looked him in the eye- his eyes were glued to the floor as he clutched the skull between his arms.

Despite Sungkyu's countless attempts, Woohyun never once spoke a word, only sobbing with whimpers intermittently, until well into the morning.

 

Sungkyu (now human again) pulled open the curtain, letting some sunlight in. "Some of the sun's warmth," (it was a warm morning, around 80°s) "might do you some good," he said, not expecting Woohyun to respond.

Sungkyu looked at Woohyun, as he saw the redness of his eyes and the skull still lodged between his arms. He took a seat by him, "You want to bury that outside?"
 

 Woohyun nodded, his voice was hoarse, "yeah."

 Sungkyu looked around for a shovel, and surely enough, found one in the storage room. He came back to Woohyun and saw him sobbing. Sungkyu approached him, "I found the shovel." Woohyun got up and was disheveled, he seemed as though even a slight breeze would be enough to knock him down.

Sungkyu held Woohyun by the hand and walked together with him out to the grounds behind the church. Sungkyu was about to pierce the ground, but Woohyun stopped him, "I'll bury him." Sungkyu relented and gave him the shovel, Woohyun gave him the skull to hold.

Sungkyu sighed with much sorrow as he looked directly at it. The ground was not as soft as Sungkyu thought it'd be; Woohyun's hands began to bleed as he kept shoveling. Sungkyu saw and tried to take over, but Woohyun wouldn't let him, "I have to do it," he said with a melancholy tone. When the hole was three feet deep,  Woohyun dropped the shovel and gestured for Sungkyu to pass the skull.

He knelt and gently placed the skull into the cavity. He drizzled some dirt atop the skull and then began to seal up the hole. The two then stood in silence as they looked at the makeshift grave. Woohyun quietly whispered a prayer, and then fell to his knees as he began to sob once more.

Sungkyu sighed, knowing where Woohyun was coming from. He gently squeezed Woohyun's shoulders to tell him he was there for him, but Woohyun swatted his hand away, "I want to be alone," he said between sniffles as he wiped his tears. Sungkyu nodded and stepped backwards. He stared up at the blue sky and took in its beauty, hoping Woohyun would be able to overcome his loss. He then consented to Woohyun's wish and left, heading back to their room. 

20 minutes or so later, Woohyun entered the room, heading toward the direction of his safe. He unlocked it and took out the crystal blue bottle that was hidden in there.
 

"I thought that bottle held some kind of poop or something," Sungkyu thought aloud.

Woohyun, without even facing him, replied with a hoarse voice that was heavy with sorrow, "No- that was just a joke," he opened the bottle and tilted it to the side, allowing a small, smooth, white stone to fall on his palm, "It's something special."

 Sungkyu, curious, got off his cot and went to look at the stone, "What is it?" 

Woohyun tightly grasped it and held it close to his heart, "Now, it's a memento. It's precious to me."

 Sungkyu took the hint and guessed it belonged to Jaejoong.

Woohyun smiled, a lone tear trickled down the apple of his cheek, "We had a lot of trouble getting back this stone..."

 Sungkyu rubbed Woohyun's shoulder, "Just let it all out, if you want. I'm here for you."

 Woohyun turned to look at Sungkyu and greeted him with a tearful smile. He clutched onto him and cried profusely, "I didn't even get," he choked, "to say goodbye!"

 Sungkyu patted his back, "It's okay. It's okay. I'm sure he's up there praying for you now."

 Woohyun felt terible, his head was heavy, his body was trembling and the knot in his throat would not go away- his sadness would not go away; he didn't want it to go away, he just wanted to cry and cry.
Woohyun drew himself away and sat in his desk chair. He stopped crying after a long while. He was slowly regaining his composure as he went through the memories he shared with Jaejoong. He held up the stone and smiled pleasantly as he marveled over it. Sungkyu kept his eyes fixed on Woohyun the whole time and smiled once he saw him smiling.

 "Want some coffee?" Sungkyu asked.
 

"Sure," Woohyun softly replied, and then he added, "We have to pick up my cake..."

 Sungkyu smiled tenderly, "I'll go pick it up, don't worry."

 "Thank you."

Sungkyu came back from bringing the cake an hour later. Woohyun sliced into the small ice cream cake he had ordered after blowing the candles Sungkyu set up. He served Sungkyu and the two sat, eating, sharing stories about their lost ones.

 

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TrueBoice101
For another similar tale, check out the link for my latest story :)
https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1443770/death-of-a-princess

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DucksandWerewolves
#1
Chapter 15: Wow... Just finished this story and it was seriously good... Love it, great job author!! ♡
DGNA_Forever
#2
Chapter 15: So, I have finally finished reading this story, and I quite enjoyed it. The yearning and sadness Sungkyu carried with him all these years was somehow heartwarming, and I love that he stayed faithful to Nayeon, even though he couldn't be with her anymore.
And the friendship between Woohyun and Sungkyu was great, and I loved Woohyun's character. He was so loyal and a great friend. I felt his pain when he lost Jaejoong, and he was such a complex character. Thank you for writing this. It was nice and I liked how it ended, too♡.