That same night in Renjun's bedroom, he was crying, looking for his phone. He was going to call Lina, or Chenle, his old friend from China who never answered the phone anymore. He had screwed up, so he thought if he was going to screw up, go all the way, then he kicked them out.

He looked under a pile of clean clothes Jaemin had washed, but he hadn't bothered to fold yet and found his phone, he pushed the power button, and found out it was dead. He screamed out in frustration and shoved the whole pile of clothes off his bed and plugged his phone up on the charge. He calmed down a bit and laid down on his bed and decided he would take a short nap until his phone was done changing, so he got under his blanket and closed his eyes.

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When Renjun's eyes opened, they were met with the harsh light of the sun, realizing that his "short" nap had turned into sleeping till 3pm. He grabbed his phone and called Lina. "Hello?" 

"Hey Lina" Renjun said, his voice weak from all the crying and screaming he did the night before.

"Are you okay?"  she asked over the phone, concerned and half knowing from past experiences what he did.

"I messed up. Again. They keep coming back. I don't know how I'm gonna do this." Renjun rambled, starting to cry.

"Baby don't cry." Lina said. "They still care, I swear they do. They called me yesterday and I talked to them, Renjun you should take therapy."

"No, no no. I don't want to take therapy, I want it to stop, I want it all to stop" Renjun  cried into the phone. "Lina please."

"I'm so sorry honey, I can't." Lina said. "I would come over, but I'm actually on break at my other job and we have a meeting in ten minutes."

She sighed as she heard the phone fall, and more painful sounding crying that made her want to cry herself. Then Renjun picked up his phone, hung up and threw it at his mirror, not  caring that he'd get beat when his mom saw it. (I've thrown my phone at my mirror it was fun ;)))))

Renjun tried to calm his self before he did something he'd regret. He took deep breaths and laid down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, he didn't know what he'd do, his mom had barely been gone for three days and he hadn't had the peace he wanted. Renjun then decided that he'd go see his dad's grave at the cemetery.

He threw on one of his hoodies and put in his shoes, then walked out the door, completely forgetting that Jeno would be coming by to drop off his food. When he was walking, he decided that he'd stop by a shop to buy flowers. He stopped in a flower shop and looked around. While looking around, he spotted a woman that looked familiar to someone who he'd seen before but he brushed it off, "hello, may I help you?" She asked.

Renjun looked at her, "Yes." She walked towards him, "what flowers are you looking for?" She asked, wiping her hands on her pants. "Um I don't know, I'm going to my dad's grave and I wanted flowers." He said quietly.

She nodded, "Jeno!" She called, Renjun froze as Jeno came from a room in the back of the store, "Yes." He said, not seeing Renjun. "I need you to keep him company while I find some flowers, it might take a bit." She said as she left.

Jeno nodded at her and walked over to him, still not seeing it was him until he looked down and saw Renjun, "Renjun." He said. Renjun was looking down at his shoes, "hi." He whispered. "Look, I'm sorry for whatever I did yesterday." Jeno apologized. "No no, it's my fault." Renjun daid, shaking his head rapidly.

"Why are you getting flowers?" Jeno asked. Renjun finally looked up at him, "for my dad's grave, I'm going there after this." He explained. Jeno nodded understandingly, "do you want to come?" Renjun asked quietly, "if you don't want to that's fine too." He added quickly, looking down again.

Jeno nodded, "okay. I'll go with you." He said, smiling.

Renjun nodded shyly as Jeno's mom came back with the flowers, "here you go dear." She said handing them to Renjun. Renjun put the flowers in one hand and dug in his pocket for his wallet, "don't worry sweetie, they're free." She said stopping him. "Mom can I go?" Jeno asked.

She nodded and looked over to see new customers walk in, then walked over to them. "Wait a second, let me get my jacket and wallet." Jeno said as he ran to the room he came from. Moments later he ran out with his jacket on, "okay, let's go." He said, then followed Renjun out the door.

They were walking down the sidewalk, to the cemetery when Renjun broke the silence, "Jeno if I tell you everything would you tell Jaemin for me?" Renjun asked quietly.

"Of course." Jeno replied, nodding. Renjun in a breath, "okay do you want to hear about my dad, my mom, or both?" He asked.

"Whatever you're comfortable telling." Jeno replied.

Renjun sighed, "that doesn't help, so I'll tell you everything." He said, then proceeded to tell Jeno all about his anxiety, depression, and his mom before and after his dad died.

By the time Renjun was done they were at the cemetery and Jeno was left at a loss of words, "oh." Jeno said. Renjun rolled his eyes, "Yeah."

They entered the gate of the cemetery and walked down one of the many paths, Jeno occasionally stopping to read one of the graves that Renjun had read hundreds of times before. Then Renjun stopped walking and faced one of the graves. He kneeled down and whispered a few words to quiet for Jeno to hear.

Then he stood up and handed the flowers to Jeno, then kneeled back down to clear out any weeds that had grown since the last time he came, "I used to come here everyday to talk to him." Renjun said to Jeno, "then my mom started....doing more." 

Jeno nodded understandingly. He watched as Renjun gently brushed the dirt off the top of the small grave and talked to it. Then he stood up and took the flowers Jeno was holding before and put them in the vase that was beside the grave.

"Sophomore year when they let us go out for lunch, instead of going to the cafeteria, I used to go here and eat." Renjun said.

Jeno just listened to him talk and didn't interrupt. Renjun stood up for the last time, "we can go now." He said.

They walked back down the path they came from and went out the gate. "My mom has the food in her fridge in the shop if you want to go get it." Jeno said.

"Okay." Renjun said. Then Jeno led him back to the shop, Renjun feeling as calm and peaceful as  ever.

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