Playlist: Day6; I Would / ONE OK ROCK; Heartache / EXO-CBX; Someone like you

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Esther had suggested a walk along the beach to clear your head, and you agreed. Esther still didn’t know about your parents – you’ve never told anyone except… except Brian. Thinking of him still left a bitter after-taste in your mouth, one that was hard to swallow. The beach was now an ambivalent place for you – you’ll always remember it as a place where you lost your parents, but also a place where you spent happy moments with a special someone. Well, at least, someone that used to be special to you. You don’t know why you even agreed to go to the beach – for closure maybe. To visit the place one last time and never come back again. All you knew was that you nodded when Esther asked the question and soon, you were slipping on your slippers, walking side by side with her down the familiar path to the beach.

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Once at the beach, Esther and you just sat beside each other on the beach, watching the last embers of the sunset over the horizon. Esther was still worried about your health so every now and then, she would glance at you from the side of her eye. You caught on quickly, and with a soft smile, you said:

“Don’t worry about me Esther, I’m fine. Feeling much better than before.”

“Physically, sure, you’re getting better. But… emotionally…?”

Esther waited in bated breath for your answer – but truthfully you had none to give her. Despite all the time you had to yourself in the past few days, you did not stop to process all that’s happened. You simply tried to…survive. So instead of talking about your feelings, you avoided the topic and stated facts instead.

“Brian and I broke up.”

“That was not what I asked.”

“But that’s the only thing I can tell you. We broke up. We’re over. There’s nothing left to say anymore. That’s it. This is…it.”

“Don’t you want answers? Some closure at least?”

“The video says it all. It has provided me with all the answers and closure that I need.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously! What else can there possibly be, Esther?”

“I don't know. Anything. Anything is better than this silence and blank face after the breakup.”

“You know me Esther, before any of this happened. I just have this blank face because – ”

“Because that's just how you are. Yes, I get it! But still, don't you feel anything? I mean, you’re so quiet now… which is such a huge contrast from when I found you…”

“Perhaps I cried myself dry that night. Washed all the emotions out so I can’t feel a thing anymore. I don’t have any feelings left for him.”

So, what even if I do? He's already gone back to her. And that was the deal anyways.

Esther offered nothing more in return, she simply stared at you long and hard, like she wanted to say something but ultimately, she didn't. Finally, you decided to break the silence first.

“Anyways, isn't tonight date night with Jae? I heard him asking you just now.”

“He did but...”

“But?”

“But I wanted to spend time with you. Girls night out you know?”

You knew what she truly meant though; she was afraid that you'll feel lonely if she left you alone to go on a date with Jae.

“Don't worry about me, Esther. I'm perfectly fine with some alone time. So why don't you go to Jae now? I bet he's prepared lots for you.”

“It's ok, really. We can go tomorrow...”

“Esther, that wasn't an offer. I’m asking you to go.”

“You're seriously ok with that?”

“Yes, I'm serious.”

On cue, her phone lit up with Jae's name and she stared at you before staring back at her phone.

“Pick up the call and go. I'll be fine.”

“Alright then, I'll go. You know where to find me so come and get me if you need anything ok? Don’t wait up for me and get back safely.”

“Yes ma’am, have fun!”

With her phone to her ear, she left the beach in search of Jae. You stared at her retreating back till you can’t see her anymore and when you turned back to face the sea, you spotted someone in your peripheral vision. Your body froze as it processed the familiar gaze of someone. Oh, that all too familiar gaze. Your body reacted before you even caught a glimpse of his face and you knew without a shadow of doubt that he was staring at you right now.

“You know, you can just sit – this is a public space. Also, I would appreciate it if you'd stop staring at me.”

You heard the shuffling of feet before someone plopped down on the patch of sand beside you. From your periphery, you caught a glimpse of that familiar raven hair and silver dangling earring. His voice that came a second later confirmed your suspicions.

“How'd you know it was me?”

You wanted to say this: Of course, I know it's you. Every fibre of my being has been programmed to recognise your presence, to respond to you. For the past few months, you've around me for so long – how could I possibly not know when it’s you?

But instead, the words that came out of your mouth were as followed:

“I just guessed. Turns out that I'm right that's all.”

“Rachel, I – ”

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