"Oh - god - oh - god - oh - god - oh -" Jisoo chanted in rhythm with his heavy footsteps. A painful stitch pricked his side every time he tried to breathe and his lungs felt like they were going to burst anytime soon. Sweat made his black robe stick to his skin.

"A faithful servant does not use the names of his gods in vain," the head-monk chided without turning his head nor slowing down. His voice sounded relaxed, no trace of strain perceptible although he was already nearing his seventies. "And a healthy body is the vessel for a healthy soul."

Jisoo had a hard time swallowing the snarky remark that lingered on the tip of his tongue. He had learned during the first week that cussing was frowned upon in the monastery - but old habits were hard to break.

"How... much... further?" he instead managed to gasp between laboured breaths.

"Four kilometres."

"Oh god."

*

"-soo! Hong Jisoo!"

Jisoo startled awake at the harsh jab in his chest and almost toppled over. The monk in front of him did not look impressed, the stick he had used dangerously close to Jisoo's face.

"This is the third time you fell asleep during meditation! Leave if you can't get your act together!"

Jisoo hunched his shoulders in an obvious display of guilt while the other aspirants around him snickered.

*

Jisoo,

mom is doing better. The new treatment is finally showing the results we hoped for. Dad is still concerned but he's not talking to me properly so I don't know what exactly is going on. You know that he likes to burden himself to keep us happy.

Jimin is asking for you often; she's really excited about finally attending elementary school. I know you're not allowed to call but maybe you could at least sneak out a letter for her? She really wants to tell you about all the new things she has learned. Last time I called, she was talking for half an hour straight.

My situation has settled as well. I finally went to work again yesterday and the wounds are healing nicely, so no need to worry. There will be scars left but nothing I can't handle.

I hope you're doing well and I hope you're still happy with the choice you've made. Your last letter sounded a bit discouraged, especially the part about your strict schedule.

If something is wrong, please tell me. We can figure something out together. That's what family is for, right?

Stay safe and healthy.

Jihwan

*

Jisoo lay curled up on his futon, every part of his body screaming in pain. He had overdone it lately but he needed to prove that he could do it. That he was taking this whole thing seriously. He needed to prove it to the monks and to himself. If he got kicked out, he would become a burden to his family. Again.

His brother's most recent letter crinkled between his fingers, the ink already smudged in some places.

*

"Congratulations, aspirants. Throughout the past year, you have proven your determination and faith, and that you are ready to take on the responsibility of being novice monks. May the following three years guide you on your way to enlightenment. We welcome you in our ranks."

*
 

Jisoo,

mom's condition has worsened over the weekend and she might need to have another surgery soon. But don't worry, I've got it covered. I'm still getting benefits after my accident and I can use them to pay the medical bills.

Dad has become very reclusive. Jimin says he goes out at night and only comes home in the morning. I think he's working an additional job and it's taking its toll on his health. Jimin stays over at my place a lot so I'm considering to move back in with dad and her. It would cut costs and she wouldn't be alone at night. Recently there have been some incidents in the neighbourhood so I'd prefer to be there, just in case.

I know that you're bad at expressing your feelings but even if you don't say it, I know that you worry about us. And I'm not going to hide anything from you since you have a right to know, even though you're so far away. You applied to that monastery to be "out of the way", didn't you? I heard you when you were speaking to mom and I saw how much you were pondering your choices afterwards. I don't think that reason is a good one but I hope that by now you've learned to love what you're doing.

I'm proud that you got accepted as a novice and I hope you can keep up the good work and become a full-fledged monk one day. Jimin is bragging a lot about you at school. In her imagination you're already head-monk, leading your own temple. Also, she said she wants to do a temple stay one day, just to see you. I haven't told her yet that your monastery doesn't allow outsiders.

We miss you. Don't force yourself for our sake.

Jihwan

*

"No, no, no! You have to chant the sutra before you attack! How often do I have to tell you until you get it into your stubborn head?!"

Jisoo held his stomach, grimacing in pain. The priest in front of him looked fed up and he sincerely shared the feeling.

They had never gotten along.

Jisoo took a deep breath and tried to free himself of the resentment he felt - although the older man made it quite difficult. "Yes, teacher. I'll do better."

"I can't believe I have to spend my valuable time training someone as hopeless as you. Keep being a monk, working fields suits you more than fighting."

Jisoo clenched his teeth to stop himself from lashing out. It wasn't like he had picked that particular class out of his own free will. It was part of the curriculum and nobody knew that better than that old bastard.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to calm down. Everything was alright. He had learned to keep his temper in check. He was a better person now. And this particular priest was known for his cruel punishments.

"What are you waiting for?! Again!"

"Yes, teacher!"

*

The shrill sound of a bell ripped Jisoo out of his dreams rather abruptly. He shot upright at once, slightly dizzy at the sudden movement, and searched for his roommates as soon as his eyes had adjusted to the dim light.

Shinwon was climbing out of his futon with obvious difficulty while Rowoon was already at the door, peeking outside.

"That's the first time they're attacking at night. What's going on?" Shinwon's voice was a mere whisper.

Jisoo ignored his question but a knot of unease had formed in his stomach. The attacks were getting more and more frequent. "We gotta get to the assembly hall."

He reached for the other novice and helped him climb to his feet while Rowoon held the door open for them.

Without exchanging another word, they sprinted down the corridor, following the higher-ranked monks.

*

"I have informed the authorities of our situation several days ago but until reinforcement arrives, it is our duty to protect this holy place from further harm. We have fended them off for tonight but tomorrow we will increase the guards around the perimeters. It hurts me to say, but everyone - even aspirants and novices - will have to do their part. Together we will overcome this trial.

Now, let us pray for the s