Last chance.

Every time she moves, she thinks of it as her last chance. Amidst the sea of people, Kwon Eunbi continues to move her arms along with the beat. From far away, the music she is dancing to is faint and the busy crowd of Hongdae is to blame. She tries her best to match every beat, to make sure that she is as smooth as the waves of the ocean. The sun is now setting, her silhouette glows orange, like the blazing fire of her passion. Her body is at its breaking point, her mind, too, but she keeps dancing; because only then she feels free.

Since it is getting dark, the streetlights were then opened. Eunbi thought of those to be her spotlight; and the crowd, her audience, her loyal fans. She tried to focus by living in this dream world of hers. It pains her to see that these people surrounding her does not recognize her one bit. It’s like adding salt to her wounded pride. She tries to be optimistic by thinking that it might be because she changed her hairstyle or probably because her face became more mature. And again, she is enveloped by the dark clouds of her insecurities and shortcomings.

Casually strolling with her friends is Lee Chaeyeon. She was forced into going to Hongdae by the two younger girls bickering in front of her. If she had the freedom to choose, she would stay in her apartment, practicing for the upcoming dance competition. Her mind is floating, trying to find another thing worthy of its attention unlike the endless scoffs of Lee Seunghyeon and Jo Youngin. Her ears picked up music; it was faint but she was sure it was something that she knows. Without knowing it, she dashed towards the sound. She does not know exactly where she’s going but she trusts her sense of hearing.

In the middle of a noisy crowd, Chaeyeon found a girl drenched in her own sweat, dancing to the beat of Superlove by Tinashe. Chaeyeon could not get her gaze off of her. She looked so professional; maybe it was in her moves or the way her expression changes every second. It was when their eyes met for a split second that Chaeyeon felt like her heart dropped. It was her aura; it was this irresistible force that keeps you drawn to her. She was perfectly cut out to be an idol. In Chaeyeon’s mind, she thinks this girl is about to debut and is just trying to gain attention by performing in the streets.

Her body is growing weak from the endless dancing. She wants to stop, drop to her knees and let her tears fall. Eunbi’s body wants to give up but she knows she can’t—she shouldn’t. She knows that once she stops, it’s over. Everything she’s worked hard for will be for nothing. She was afraid to go back to square one. She does not want to succumb into the abyss of her negativity. It was too tiring and draining for her; let alone, traumatic.

•

Last chance.

It was as if the answer to her problems called out to her from the crowd. For some unknown reason, her eyes found another pair of eyes staring back at her. She immediately shifted her gaze; scared that she would get lost in those eyes. She found it hard to concentrate after that encounter. All of the thoughts she has been suppressing began to resurface. She wants to blame that person for making her lose focus but it would not make sense; she is just a stranger, someone she will never meet again. As her darkest thoughts began to take over, Eunbi felt her tears slowly falling down. Her face is covered in sweat and tears but despite of that, she still manages to complete her dance and give killer expressions. 

Right after she finished, she was met with the warm applause of the audience—Eunbi never felt more proud. Her eyes scanned the crowd; and she knew she was looking for someone in particular. The cheers drowned the sound of her racing heart but she can’t help but keep looking for that person. She is confused as to why she wants to find her but her gut feel tells her it’s the right thing. After bowing for too many times that she did not bother to count, Eunbi began running. She does not know where her feet are taking her but she shifts her head from left to right; trying to see if that person is there. Again, she does not know why but it feels like the right thing to do.

•

Chaeyeon did not want to leave halfway through the performance. She would’ve chosen to stay—just like how she wanted to stay in her apartment. The problem is her not being able to say no to her dongsaengs. They might be a huge pain in her but she loves them and will not leave them alone for a few minutes; what happened earlier was an exception, she wasn’t in her right mind.

“Unnie, why did you suddenly run off earlier? We were calling for you but you ignored us,” Youngin said as she pouted and crossed her arms. Chaeyeon was just about to explain when Seunghyeon started talking, “I thought you said you wouldn’t leave us? We thought we would get lost and not find you. You’re so mean!” When she finished, she copied Youngin’s pout but instead of crossing her arms, she put her hands on her waist.

Seeing the two girls, who, by the way, are only a year younger than her, throw a fit, Chaeyeon can’t help but smile. She pulled the two closer to her; dragging Seunghyeon was a bit hard on her part because the younger girl is taller than her. “You two are so cute!” Chaeyeon remarked, but she was met by scoffs from the two. Other people might feel really bad when faced with this situation but Chaeyeon is different. She knows exactly what to do so she just smiled and continued to drag the two younger girls to an ice cream stall.

Chaeyeon would’ve complained because of the endless whining from the two but she is thankful for adaptation for making her immune to their tantrums. As soon as they got to the stall, the inner children in Seunghyeon and Youngin were unleashed. Chaeyeon couldn’t help but smile while the two girls in front of her point at every single ice cream flavor their eyes could see. It was this sight that made Chaeyeon’s heart warm but she felt like something was missing. All those years with these two, she was alright, but now, she feels like there’s a missing piece in her; and she does not understand why she thinks it’s her.

When they got what they ordered, they sat down on a bench nearby. Seunghyeon then asked Chaeyeon why she suddenly left them in the middle of Hongdae. “That is because my mind couldn’t take the sound of you two fighting so it decided to take matters into its hands and find a peaceful place,” Chaeyeon jokingly said as she reached for a tissue and wiped the ice cream off Youngin’s face. “It wasn’t peaceful there though,” Youngin said when Chaeyeon finished wiping her face. “You mistook peace for being the absence of noise, sweetie,” Chaeyeon said as she bopped Youngin’s nose with her index finger. “Then what is peace if not being quiet, unnie?” Seunghyeon curiously asked.

“It is feeling serene and comfortable. Music gives me peace,” Chaeyeon’s voice slowly turned into a whisper: “and in that moment, she gave me peace too”. 

“Music gives you peace and what?” Seunghyeon, obviously intrigued, asked. Chaeyeon just smiled and said nothing.

•

Last chance.

She kept on running like her life depended on it; as if the only thing she needs to stay alive is with that person. She’s been searching for minutes and she feels her legs getting weaker by the moment. Who wouldn’t feel weak after dancing from dawn to dusk? She does not understand where she’s getting her strength but she knows one thing: she needs to find that person—it’s now or never.

She suddenly stopped; she didn’t ask for it but she did. It was only at that moment that her exhaustion caught up to her. The adrenaline rush she had a few minutes back is starting to die down. She could feel that she would pass out any moment. Her vision begins to become blurry but she tries to shrug it off by blinking multiple times. Her breathing becomes heavier; until her breath becomes shorter. She balled her fists, convinced that it can help her regain her strength back but her body just couldn’t take it anymore. For the fifth time this week, Kwon Eunbi h