I was listening to a song when this idea popped up in my head.
(I also blame the people who wanted Taehyung to suffer after my last fic :c )

Song: Ed Sheeran - Happier

Please Note: I love both Taehyung and Jeongguk and would never want anything hurtful to happen to them <3 
They deserve all the happiness in the world!!



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It feels like my life has been on halt for one month now.

Things which made me happy before just feel like a pain now. It reminds me of you. Every time I sit down and force myself to do something productive, I end up thinking of you again. The games we played, the food we shared, the little things we’ve done. It all comes back to you.

It’s hard and I don’t know for how long I can go on like this but I know I deserve it.

I hurt you.

I never meant to but there is nothing I can do about it now. It happened and I’m suffering the consequences now.

You left.

Sometimes all I can think of during the day are your beautiful eyes. I’m unable to do anything but sit on my bed and think back about the days you were mine. The days I was allowed to hear your beautiful voice and see your stunning eyes every day. And the days I could adore your cute smile, which reminded me so much of a bunny with your front teeth sticking out ever so slightly.

But the thing I miss the most is the way you feel in between my arms, the way you would turn to look at me with that sparkle in your eyes, the adoration and love in your eyes whenever you did.

We spent so much time together, in my apartment, it kills me inside but I can’t seem to leave. Leaving those memories would mean leaving you behind. I can’t. I’m not ready yet.

I know you’ve moved on. I saw you with another man a few days ago. You were walking with with him, one of your hands wrapped around his waist while he held onto your hand tightly. You were both smiling brightly. A smile I haven’t seen from you in a long while.

You looked happier with him than you ever did with me.

It hurt to see you like this, even though you deserve the happiness and I know someday, I will be able to move on too. But right now, all I can think about and see is you. I just need more time.

Another bottle emptied, I fling it to the side, cursing under my breath. I should have bought more. I need more. But I can’t find it in me to leave my house. I don’t want to face reality, haven’t for the past month really.

Sometimes a few of my friends drop by to check up on me. They’re worried, I know but I don’t care enough. I don’t want to make any effort to try and convince them that I’m fine. Because I’m not and hiding it wouldn’t do anything either way, they’d know anyway. I’m a bad liar.

They ask if they can do anything to make me feel better but they can’t. The only thing that would be able to mend me would be you. And I know I can’t have you. Not anymore. Not after what I’ve done.

Maybe some day you will be able to forgive me.

Maybe one day we can be friends again.

But even as I think this, I know it’s impossible. I will never be able to see you as a friend anymore. You’re so much more to me. And I know it’s foolish but there is nothing I can do about it. I love you, still and I don’t think that will ever change.

Maybe one day I will be able to love someone else. Maybe.

I know you’ve fallen for your new lover already. Can see it in the way you hold him and laugh with him. Your laugh is beautiful. It’s so melodic. I always loved it. I wish you could laugh with me again the way you did before but it’s impossible.

And while you’re moving on with your life, move on from the love we shared, I can’t do anything else but sit in my house and hope that maybe some day things will change again.

Pathetic.

And even though I know it’s stupid, I will be there for you if your new lover breaks your heart. Why? Because I could never deny you. I don’t even know if you’d come to me for comfort when it happens. You would probably go to Jimin, he has always been better at comforting you in difficult situations. But some part of me hopes that you will come to me. That you will seek my comfort again.

Is it foolish to hope so?

Maybe… but I can’t stop myself from doing so.

I’ve always been foolish when it comes to you.

A sigh escapes my lips as I run a hand through my hair, feeling the alcohol slowly numb the pain of my heartbreak. I’ve been doing this for the past month and I should probably stop but I can’t bring myself to care. It’s the only way to forget about you.

The doorbell pulls me out of my thoughts and I sigh yet again. It’s probably one of my friends. Namjoon or Jimin. I appreciate their efforts but I don’t really want to deal with any of them right now.

The doorbell rings yet again, followed by a barely audible knock.

Sadly, I know my friends are persistent and probably won’t leave before getting a good look at me, making sure that I wasn’t letting myself go completely. And even though I am consuming a lot of alcohol, I still bother to dress properly so I dare to say that I’m not letting myself go fully just yet.

I get up and make my way to the door surprisingly normal. The alcohol wasn’t having as much of an affect as usual since I didn’t have enough to drink for today yet. I needed to change that as soon as whoever was at the door, was gone again.

I open the door with force, startling the person behind it efficiently and for a moment, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.

There, standing in front of me, I saw you.

I needed to blink twice to realize, that you were indeed in front of my door. Why are you here? Was I dreaming again? I was simply staring at you, unable to do anything.

A small sob brings me back to reality.

It was from you.

I finally look at you properly and that’s when I see the tears streaming down your cheeks, your arms which were wrapped tightly around your own body and the pleading expression in your eyes. You were shaking violently.

“Jeongguk...” I rasp out and I could see a clear flicker of uncertainty in your eyes. Are you doubting your own actions? Are you doubting me? Do you really think I would ever be able to reject you?

“T-Tae...hyung...”

You use my nickname but quickly add the rest of my name to it, still unsure. It causes me to snap out of the trance I’ve been in since I’ve opened the door to face you.

I take a step back and open the door wider, creating enough space for you to enter if you choose you wanted to.

No matter what I do, everything comes back to you.


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Thank you for reading this short thing ❤