The farthest Kim Jisoo knows about relationships is holding hands.

On her senior year in high school, a guy she once called her lover held her hands for the first time. It was a perfect moment. Min Yoongi reached for her palm as fireworks signifying the end of their school fair lit the night sky.Tons of colors splashed against the bleak darkness of the night, and at that moment, Jisoo can barely breathe. Her heartbeat drummed against her skin and she was left wondering if Yoongi can hear it. She looked at his figure staring at the wonders above them when his eyes suddenly met hers. A small smile escaped his lips and she can't help but to mimic him.

Jisoo knew what they had was love. She had to convince herself it was love.

Their link, ironically, ended there. Events swiftly spiraled into uncertainty when he suddenly said he doesn't want her anymore. Yoongi wasn't really a big part of her life but he was her first. For a time being, his fingers around hers was her map; her guide. For the clumsy lines sprawled against his smooth palms lead her to places and memories she never seemed to forget. 

They broke up after 2 months of dating but instead of pain, she felt relieved.

Maybe, she never wanted him.  

Her second shot at love happened in the university. Jisoo, being the type A person that she is, let the panic of final examinations caught up to her like a virus. So when a ball hitting her ankles disrupted her frantic study session,  she seethe in frustration. Whoever did it will surely have a taste of regret.

A tall guy with an innocent demeanor her. He kicked the ball too strong, he said. Be careful next time, she said. Her revenge plan disappeared as he flashed his contagious smile.

His name is Jinyoung and unlike Yoongi, he promised to never let her go. Their first meeting ended up with a coffee, disguised as Jinyoung’s way to make it up to her, which lead to countless dates thereafter. Still, holding hands was the only thing they shared.  

Her encounter with him taught her an important thing: promises are nothing but empty words. Much alike to his promise of keeping her forever.

Because after a year of their first meeting, he left for Australia.

Postcards,  gifts,  letters were sent but Jinyoung never came home. A week without him was hell. Two months was constantly telling herself to keep her together. Three years? Life without him felt normal.  

The deliveries stopped at second year and she treated it as their silent truce. Whatever they had has to end. Jinyoung will never come back.

That day, Jisoo uttered a muted goodbye when an airplane rushed above her.

Maybe, he never wanted her.

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Corporate life is an endless limbo of hell for Jisoo. She hated he