Jimin carefully pushed the door open, trying not to spill the coffee on himself. Yoongi quickly got up and took his cap from the boy’s hand. Yoongi sat back on his chair and took a sip from his coffee. Jimin shuffled to sit next to Yoongi.

“How did you know I like black coffee?”

“I guessed? You seemed like the type who would.  Although I did bring some sugar and cream just in case,” replied Jimin bashfully taking out the sugar pack and the crème from his pockets.

Yoongi smiled softly. The guy was too considerate.

“So what did you want to talk about?” asked Yoongi after a moment of silence.

Jimin sighed and sipped his coffee carefully.

“Are you awake enough for the crap I’ve been holding inside for 3 years now?” asked Jimin carefully studying Yoongi’s face.

Yoongi chugged the rest of his coffee as he replied.

“Now I’m ready. Dump it on me.”

Jimin got quiet trying to think of where to start. He starting to pull his sleeves, which Yoongi came to know was a sign of nervousness.  He sighed again.

“Ever since we were trainees I was jealous of Jungkook. I couldn’t help it. He was just 15, a small child and I knew it was very wrong to be jealous of a freaking child, but I really couldn’t help it. He was better at everything. Even if he was the youngest, he sung the best, his dancing was the best, even his appearance was better than mine, but it wasn’t the actual reason for my jealousy. I was jealous of his skills. He was quick at getting things. He’d see the dance move just once and do it perfectly, while I needed to be corrected a few times before I could finally get it. It was the same with vocals. Within a short time, he was progressing twice as much as I was. I hated it and frankly I hated him too. He made me feel so insecure. It made me feel I’m not worth anything.”

Jimin sounded so small. Yoongi stretched his hand to hold Jimin’s hand. Jimin looked up when he felt Yoongi’s hands on his and smiled softly as if thanking him for it.

“Do you still feel the same?” asked Yoongi carefully.

“Sometimes?” replied Jimin honestly, “I know that I’m talented but just not talented enough. No matter how much I work, the fans like him more. His voice sounds better, his dancing is better. No matter what I’d do, he’d be two steps ahead of me it’s so annoying. Even now he is getting a solo, while I’ll just dance to it like his ing back up.”

Yoongi tightened his hold on Jimin’s hands. He knew the feeling of inferiority all too well. Ever since Hoseok and he met Taehyung he had felt it. Taehyung was more handsome, more cheerful and much nicer than Yoongi would ever be. No wonder ever since Hoseok met him, he was in love. Yoongi knew he would never be good enough for Hoseok, but the small hopeful gremlin in his head kept telling him that maybe it was just a crash, maybe Hoseok would get over him, maybe he still had a chance. The chance died the day he and Taehyung had an argument. The sweet boy was sad that the ‘cool hyung he always looked up to’ was ignoring him. Of course the only reason Yoongi had for ignoring an angel like Taehyung were his dumb useless emotions. At some point Taehyung’s  pleadings and questions became too much for Yoongi so he confessed his feelings. He told Taehyung that he ignored him because he hated seeing Hoseok so in love with him. That he hated him only because Hoseok had a crash on the boy. Taehyung was stunned for some time before he slowly whispered that he and Hoseok had been dating for 2 months and the only reason they kept it a secret because they wanted to get rid of the tension between Taehyung and Yoongi before telling him. Hoseok and Taehyung both were too considerate. Even with his broken state, he knew they were meant to be.

He snapped himself out of the old memories and disturbed the silence of the room.

“If you felt so inferior to Jungkook, although you have no reason to, why did you agree to debut with him in a duo?”

“What choice did I have?” inquired Jimin furrowing his eyebrows, “ It was debuting with him or never. The only reason they let me debut was because he had been in the company for 2 months only. He lacked the experience and the knowledge I had due to the 4 years of being trainee. , why did I ever agree to being a useless babysitter? Was I that desperate to debut?”

Jimin was hardly keeping his sobs back.

Yoongi cupped Jimin’s cheeks and made he look him in the eye. The boy’s ears were beat red. Cute.

“Jimin, stop with the self-loathing! You have no reason for it. You didn’t debut because someone had to look after Jungkook. No one, especially Seokjin, lets people debut because they want someone babysitted. They would never debut Jungkook if they didn’t feel like he was mature enough. And they would never ever debut you unless they felt like you were worth it. Can you imagine what a waste of money and resources it would be?”

Jimin chuckled lightly.

“You sure have a unique way of consoling someone.”

“Of course, I’m not a self-proclaimed genious for nothing. But seriously, Jimin, you are very talented. Your voice is one of the best I’ve ever heard. I told you that years ago and if you remember correctly at that time you were just another trainee for me; I didn’t care for your feelings. I was honest. Your dancing is great too. I mean, I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m sure. Don’t even get me started on your appearance.”

Jimin was just staring at him, searching his eyes trying to know whether to believe him or not. All he could see in Yoongi’s eyes were determinedness and honesty. So he let himself believe that at least for one person he was enough the way he was.

Jimin’s eyes suddenly shifted to Yoongi’s lips and Yoongi’s heart raced 90km in a minute. He could practically feel the blush creeping on his cheeks. Jimin, on the other hand was just staring.

The situation was too much for Yoongi. His hands were still on Jimin’s cheeks. He had long forgotten they were there in the first place. Jimin’s eyes were glued to his lips and Yoongi’s mind might have been tricking him, but he thought he saw Jimin head tilt just a little.

Yoongi’s breath hitched as he felt Jimin slightly push himself forward. There was a centimeter difference between their faces. Jimin stopped to let Yoongi pull back if he wanted to. Before Yoongi could force his body to move just a little forward, the screeching sound of his alarm clock startled both of them.

Jimin jumped and quickly pulled back looking around worriedly. He was positively blushing. Yoongi sighed and turned it off.

“Sorry, about it. I set this just in case I’d be late.”

“It’s only 1am, we were supposed to meet at 3. How could you possibly be late?” although Jimin sounded composed but his sweater paws and red cheeks told Yoongi another story.

Jimin was still awkwardly standing in the room after the wake-up call and since the moment was lost he sat on the cushion near Hyojin’s desk.

There was an awkward silence in the room as both parties kept replaying the scene in their heads  regretting the chance they lost.

Jimin yawned loudly.

“The coffee was weak as .”

“It was less of a coffee more of a sugared cream. Did it even have any coffee in it? It was whiter as hell,” asked Yoongi trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m a sweet person. I like sweet things too,” replied Jimin with a tiny smirk on his lips.

“According to you then I’m bitter?” inquired Yoongi awfully grateful to Jimin for killing the awkward silence.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” teased Jimin.

“Hey brat, respect your elders.”

“Make me,” said Jimin sticking his tongue out.

Yoongi chuckled lightly. Jimin would be the death of him.

“Come sit beside me,” said Jimin patting the spot beside him.

“Why?” asked Yoongi smirking.

“I’m really sleepy and you seem comfy enough to make a decent pillow.”

“Wow, every time I think you couldn’t get less respectful, you surprise me,” grumbled Yoongi as he stood up to do just as Jimin ordered him.

“Well, I’m a man full of surprises,” wiggled his eyebrows Jimin.

Yoongi sat just beside him enough for their thighs to touch. Neither of them seemed to mind though. Jimin’s body immediately relaxed as he leaned on Yoongi. He put his head on Yoongi’s shoulder and sighed dreamily. He hadn’t felt that safe and peaceful for a long time.

“I meant it, Jiminie. You are one of the most talented people I’ve ever met. So what if it takes a bit more time and energy from you? The important thing is the result, and believe me the result you get is uncanny. Also don’t listen to that head you have for a manager. He doesn’t know . Just because more people lust after Jungkook, doesn’t mean he is more worthy of getting a solo. I believe you’d kick any soloist’s . I’d talk to Jin too. It’s unfair to you.”

“’Jimine?’ I love it. It’s cute,” whispered Jimin absentmindedly.

“That’s all you got from it?” asked Yoongi half-offended.

Jimin reached to hold Yoongi’s hand.

“No, I also got that you are whipped for me.”

“I’d neither confirm nor deny that,” said Yoongi squeezing Jimin’s hand back.

“Thank you, for everything Yoongi,” said Jimin after a moment of silence.

“Anything for you.”

They stayed like that for a while; holding hands with Jimin’s head on Yoongi’s shoulder. Suddenly Jimin straightened himself and pointing to Yoongi’s lap saying;

“Can I lay here? I’m so sleepy. Had a rough day.”

Yoongi blushed lightly, but nodded nonetheless. Jimin happily adjusted his body to rest his head on Yoongi’s thighs.

“You are so skinny,” Jimin said with merit in his voice.

“Not everyone has thighs like yours.”

“Fair enough.”

Jimin sounded sleepy. Yoongi more impulsively than anything reached to comb through Jimin’s hair. Jimin sighed happily. They stayed like that with Yoongi combing through his hair and admiring him. Jimin was a work of art. Every inch of him was beautiful and flawless.

Jimin shifted his body so now he was facing Yoongi. Yoongi’s eyes trailed back to Jimin’s lips. The tiredness made him completely forget that just a few minutes ago they nearly kissed. He couldn’t help but think of how things would be different if his damn alarm wouldn’t disturb them. He would have kissed Jimin. He would have known how the boy tasted.  

A very intriguing thought appeared in his head; its not too late. Not too late.

After all Jimin seemed eager enough to initiate it. Even someone as oblivious as Yoongi knew that they long ago had crossed the close friend’s line. So what was stopping him from kissing the boy in his lap?

Before he even registered he had moved, he felt Jimin’s lips on his.