“… why Siwon’s here?”

Donghae gulps, “Uh…” he throws his helpful gaze to Siwon, who casually clings his arms around him—curse him of being taller than him—and act like it’s normal for them to be together at the moment, only replying him with a casual shrug. Dammit. He hates Siwon so much. “He… insisted.”

Donghae understand why Hyukjae gave such reaction to him, since if he were in his shoes, he would be reacting the same as he is right now, but he can’t just refuse Siwon’s request.

It was Friday night when Donghae and Hyukjae supposed to have a drink together in a quiet bar where most of its costumer are elders, having quiet date and drink while chat to catch up each other’s life, and enjoy the night like a lover should have done.

It was supposed only both of them, just two of them.

The thing is, Siwon overheard Donghae who was calling Hyukjae after work, telling him that he will be there in around twenty minutes, and the word bar comes up, which the older man immediately asks “Can I come, too?” and he has no heart to reject since he had been rejected Siwon’s offer before.

And with Siwon’s coax of I’ll pay sure does the trick.

“Hi, Hyukjae! Long time no see!” Siwon throws him a hug, which Hyukjae still looks annoyed but hugs him back anyway. “Well, I’m sorry for intruding both of you tonight, but as an apology I’ll be the one who pay for tonight.” Siwon’s automatically smiles as now he puts his arm around Hyukjae—Donghae is still curses him for being the tallest of them all. “Just think of this as a little celebration for you two?”

Hyukjae’s sigh sounds like he had given up all. Both of them know it’s useless to shoo Siwon at this point, since as annoying as Siwon is, he is still their best friend and a kind man who helped them became who they are right now. “Do what you want.”

They ended up having a drink on the corner of the bar, which shows the landscape of the night as the location of the bar is around the hill, which shows the clear night that fills with bunch of stars, showing some constellations that Donghae doesn’t know the names, but he still able to appreciate them.

Most of the talk were filled by Siwon asking about the progress of their relationship, which Hyukjae casually answers while Donghae became the listener of the crowd. It’s not like Donghae doesn’t want to talk but listening to Siwon and Hyukjae’s bicker is more interesting since it’s been a long time since three of them hanging out together like this; Siwon was the busiest among the three since he’s the CEO after all.

It reminds Donghae of their college days, and it’s nice.

“That reminds me,” Siwon suddenly says, which perks Donghae’s ears and pulls him to reality. “Have you guys told your family about you guys?”

Donghae’s eyes dilated in surprise as he suddenly remembered that, in fact, he hasn’t told anyone in his family but only Siwon and Heechul about him dating Hyukjae.

Although he is sure that his family already know his little crush on Hyukjae back then, but still, he needs to tell his mom and his brother later.

He’s sure that they’ll received it well.

To Donghae’s surprise, Hyukjae casually nods, “Yeah, I told my them. They surprisingly received it well, though.” He looks up to Donghae, “What about you?”

He timidly shakes his head. “Sorry, I haven’t.” before they respond, Donghae abruptly states, “I was too preoccupied with you to remember any of that.”

“What is this guy saying, seriously.” Hyukjae scoffs, but Donghae can see subtle redness on the older man’s cheeks. “But seriously, tell them soon, okay?” Donghae quickly nods. He’ll still do it even without Hyukjae asked anyway.

A forced cough suddenly let out from Siwon, which makes them reflexively turns their head to him with a frown. “God, I feel like a third wheel here.”

Donghae rolls his eyes, as if saying it like it wasn’t obvious enough. “Did you just realize that?” Hyukjae’s laugh approving Donghae’s remark. “See, even Hyukjae agreed with me.”

Siwon grows sullen, which ended up both of them laughing in return.

God, teasing Siwon is always fun for them.

“But anyway,” Hyukjae stops laughing, seems like he feels bad for teasing Siwon as he patting the latter’s back to comfort him. “Do you have any plan after this?”

Siwon still looks sullen, however, but he still responds anyway, “No, why?”

“Donghae and I planning to watch a movie after this,” which Donghae reflexively responds that was why Hyukjae was responding like that earlier that brings Siwon’s sudden understanding shows on his face. “Wanna join us?”

The sullenness on Siwon’s face long gone, covered with a frown and a question, “Won’t I be a third wheel there?”

“Since you already did in the beginning, why don’t you just go all the way, then?” Donghae laughs with Hyukjae’s blatant remark, but he nods, agreeing his point. It’s been a long time since they watch movie as a trio, after all, so he doesn’t really mind of Siwon joining. “Donghae always falls asleep when we watched the movie anyway.”

“Am not!” Donghae protests. “Sometimes I watched until the end!”

“Sometimes as in one out of five.” Hyukjae sighs, already faces Siwon to ignore the rest of Donghae’s protests, “If you’re willing to pay the pizzas, it is.”

Siwon still looks puzzled, however. “…sure?” he looks for Donghae, as if saying is it really okay but the latter only nods in return. He really doesn’t mind.

“Great, free pizza it is!”

They ended up watching movie that Hyukjae always wanted to watch since a week ago in his place.

Donghae is sitting on the middle of both Siwon and Hyukjae, got sandwiched as both of them equally leaning on him like a life-sized doll. He doesn’t really mind, actually, but it sure is feels heavy to be leaned by two adults at once.

And it makes his movement more restricted as he can’t really move.

“Hey, guys…” Donghae sighs, however, when both of them already in their second slice of pizza and eyes locked on the screen while he can’t even get one slice because the burden of two adults body on him. “I don’t mind being sandwiched but at least can I get my pizza? I haven’t eats any slice here…” he pouts, but eyes directly on Hyukjae, silently whining of the situation. “Guys…”

Noticing Donghae’s distress, Hyukjae only chuckles. “Sorry, sorry,” as he gets up to get Donghae a slice. “There, there, don’t cry.”

“Am not,” Donghae’s still pouting, however, as he received the pizza from Hyukjae. “I’m just hungry.” Hyukjae leans on him again, however, as he is back focusing to the movie. Donghae sighs in disbelief. “Fine, do what you guys want.” He scoffs as he stuffs the pizza on his mouth, only to be laughed by both of them in return as got patted on the head.

When it’s three of them, Donghae is the one who always got treated like a baby—which he really hates it but both of them just won’t stop babying him to the point he just let them in the end, although he would always groan when they did.

Since there’s no point of arguing it to them anymore, anyway.

Siwon soon gets up, however, taking the pizza box off the table and places it on Donghae’s laps as he says, “There. Now it’s fair, isn’t?”

“That was so smart of you! As expected from Siwon!” Hyukjae’s seal claps last only for five seconds before he takes another piece, already averting his attention to the tv in front of him, leaving Donghae who only grow sullen in return.

God, he hates them sometimes.

It was one hour later when the movie is still two-thirds, two boxes of pizza already got emptied, with Donghae slightly dozing off as he sometimes closes his eyes, doesn’t have any interest of the movie they watched anymore. He actually does like to watch movie, but his preferences with Hyukjae’s doesn’t really match unless it was about psychological or action movies, and the one they watched right now isn’t one of them.

Hyukjae knows that, but he still insists on watching with him, which Donghae doesn’t have the heart to reject. He did say that I’m sorry in advance if I fell asleep in the middle of movie to warn Hyukjae, but as kind as the older man is, he always says that as long as you’re with me, I’m okay with that which sure does the trick of him staying for a movie or two in Hyukjae’s place.

Although in the end he did fall asleep in the middle of the movie or playing with his phone, letting Hyukjae got lost in the movie while leaning his head on him.

As he closes his eyes, almost falls asleep, but still awake enough to aware of any sounds around his surroundings, Donghae hears Siwon says, “Wow, he really falls asleep.” as he can feel hand waves in front of his face, but he pretends to not aware. “That’s amazing. How can he fall asleep that fast?”

“Well,” He heard Hyukjae replying Siwon, “Since this movie wasn’t really Donghae’s favorite genre after all.”

“Huh?” the hints of confusion clearly can be heard from Siwon’s tone. “If he doesn’t like it why is he still agreed to watch with you?”

“I think because he knew that I’ll still force him to watch it with me anyway, so he just went along with it.” Well, Hyukjae isn’t wrong, though. “I’m the one who insisted.”

Siwon hums as he ruffles Donghae’s head, still doesn’t aware that the latter is actually still awake. “He must be really loves you, huh.” He feels that Hyukjae only frowns in reply by there’s no response from him. “Do you forget that Donghae wouldn’t want do anything that he dislikes?” There is still no reply. “He even won’t do the work I told him to do if he really doesn’t like the CEO or doesn’t like the company’s reputation, you know. He hates it that much although he knew it’ll bring huge benefit for our company.”

“I…” Hyukjae seems unable to say anything, by soon he goes quiet for a while before he finally speaks up, “Is he really?”

“What’s with the sudden pause?” Siwon sounds like he’s frowning in the process.

“I just… I thought that Donghae always complies just because it’s not like he doesn’t want to do it but he’s just too lazy to argue, so…” Hyukjae surprisingly only hums after that, hand gently ruffles Donghae’s hair as he says, “Oh, so it’s actually like that…”

Siwon laughs, rather in bafflement as he remarks, “A hot-headed people like Donghae won’t do something like too lazy to argue thingy, Hyuk-ah. He knew what he’s doing.” Donghae isn’t really complaining, actually, since all of Siwon said until this point is true all along. “Did you just realize that now?”

“So you were saying that this idiot tolerate me more than I thought he is?”

“Well, isn’t he?”

Hyukjae isn’t really responding after that, or Donghae fell asleep, he can’t really tell.

It was another hour later when the movie ends, with Donghae actually falls asleep after the small talk, and Hyukjae lightly shakes his body, telling him to get up. He slowly opens his eyes, adjusting the dim lights of Hyukjae’s house through his retina as he found the latter’s smile is the first one to greet him as he says “Had a nice nap?”

Donghae feels guilty, actually, for did falls asleep although Hyukjae always said he understand him, but he just can’t help it. The movie doesn’t interest him that much.

(But he did get some precious info in return, actually, from of what he heard an hour ago.)

“I… I fell asleep again, aren’t I.” Donghae sighs. He really feels sorry for Hyukjae, really. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, I’ll just pick a movie that suit your taste later so you won’t fall asleep again.” Hyukjae ruffles Donghae’s hair gently before he pulls him up to get off the sofa, “Let’s sleep. It’s already late.” Donghae blinks, half-awake as he becomes more aware of his surrounding to notice Siwon isn’t with them anymore. “Siwon’s in the guest room, said had enough for the night, if you were looking for him, it is.”

He really needs to thank Siwon later for being an eye opening for Hyukjae tonight. “Right, of course he is.” Donghae sighs before pulling Hyukjae for a hug, which surprise the latter but he doesn’t say anything as he returns the hug. “Let’s sleep then.”

Hyukjae finally responds, though. “Uh, Donghae?” Donghae only hums in reply. “You’re gonna sleep in your work clothes?”

Oh, right. He won’t, of course. “Do I leave my clothes here?” Donghae rubs his face, though, trying to stay more awake. “Where did you keep it?”

“I’ll pick it for you.” Hyukjae slowly drags sleepy Donghae to his room, carefully makes the latter sit on the edge of the bed as he leaves him to pick his clothes. “Wait.”

Donghae only replies with murmuring okay before he slowly unties his tie, throwing it on the floor and he starts to his shirt.

What time is it, again? Donghae looks around to find a clock, only to find that it was one in the early morning. Right, of course it is. By him counting the time he spent after he get off work, which is around eight tonight, and spending time in the bar with both Siwon and Hyukjae for another two hours before ended up watching movie in Hyukjae’s place for the rest, it sure is took a long time.

But why is it feels so short to him?

“Hey, here you—ooh.”

Donghae suddenly pulled back with reality as he reflexively looks up, startled by Hyukjae’s gasp. “What’s with that response?”

Hyukjae sheepishly grins, which is looks very endearing to Donghae, as he gives him his clothes. “No, nothing.” Donghae blinks in confusion. “I, uh, you took off your shirt and I just…” he reflexively looks down, only to realize that his torso fully . He must be unconsciously take it off completely when he was lost in thought. “Kind of… remembered that night.”

Ohh.

“Does it excite you?” Donghae cracks a laugh as he wears the t-shirt when he noticed how red Hyukjae’s face become. He gets off the bed before he pats Hyukjae’s head, “I’ll change the pants in the bathroom.” and almost walk to the bathroom, only to get the hem of his shirt got pulled by Hyukjae. “Huh? What is it?”

“Maybe… it does excite me?” Donghae only blinks in response. “I’m sorry, I might sound like a ert but your exposed chest and shoulder somewhat makes my heart pounds like crazy.”

Wow, that was the first time in Donghae’s life to heard someone likes his exposed torso in general. “How so?”

“I don’t know!” the tone in Hyukjae’s voice sounds frustrated but it only makes him look more adorable in Donghae’s eyes. “The lines? The shape? The way it looks defined? I don’t know? What am I even saying again?” he starts to sank in, grows embarrassed over his own action by burying his head on the bed, only left Donghae laughs in response. God, he is really cute when he’s embarrassed.

Donghae stops laughing, however, as he says, “I’ll be back.” and goes to the bathroom, changes his work pants to his jogger pants he left on Hyukjae’s house as he returns to see the latter still in the same state, curling in embarrassment on his own bed. “You’re going to stay like that?”

Slowly looking up like a scared cat, Hyukjae quietly asks, “You’re… not disgusted or anything?” Donghae, as a guest who still has good manners, cleans up his scattered clothes on the floor and folds it nicely on top of Hyukjae’s drawer’s closet, but still responds with shaking his head. “Even I’m this weird?”

“Why should I? It’s not like I mind.” Now Donghae joins Hyukjae in the bed by sitting in front of him, waiting the latter to get up. “What’s weird is, only a week ago, a person named Lee Hyukjae had this plan of seducing me and brave enough to take initiative but tonight why is he looks so timid?”

Hyukjae finally gets up, sitting in front of Donghae but embarrassment still visible on his face. “That’s… different.”

This is getting interesting to Donghae as he responds, “Okay, why is it different?”

“Because…” soon, Hyukjae sighs, “Do I really have to explain?”

“You don’t have to, but you might want to.”

Sighing for the second time, Hyukjae’s eyes meeting Donghae as he says, “Because back then I was already planning it all. Satisfied, now?”

“So to sums it all, the one I did a while ago caught you off guard?” Donghae grins as he sees Hyukjae reluctantly nods. “I don’t mind though, you liking my shoulder and chest it is.” Now Hyukjae’s the one who blinks in confusion. “Want me to show you again?”

Hyukjae immediately shakes his head, “No, please, I don’t wanna get worked up tonight.”

Laughing, Donghae replies, “If you say so.” He stretches both of his arms, waiting for Hyukjae to throws himself onto him so they can cuddle as he asks, “In the mood for a cuddle?”

His replies are throws himself into Donghae as the latter wanted, although he still grunts while he buried himself on the younger male’s chest, probably in the deep thought of why he acted stupid as always.

Donghae sees it as being adorable and couldn’t bear himself to not kiss the top of Hyukjae’s head as he lulls them to sleep.

It was on the next Friday night when Heechul suddenly contacting him, asking him whether it’s okay for him to invite Donghae for dinner, which the latter immediately said yes because who says no to free food?

In the end Heechul brings him to Donghae’s favorite taco restaurant in the area.

It starts off as a normal conversation, with Heechul sharing some little stories in his works while Donghae replies sometimes although he mostly listens. He sometimes takes a turn for telling some stories as how stupid of his friends (read: Hyukjae and Siwon) over little things, and a little bit of his works (which nothing really eventful when he thinks about it, but he’s still told him anyway).

Until Heechul asked the least thing Donghae expected him to say.

“Did you ask him to marry you yet?”

"Huh??" Donghae immediately looks up, not to forget to put his taco back on his plate, mannered enough to not reflexively throws the food to Heechul. "What's with the sudden question?"

Heechul frowns, however, "What, aren't you the one who said you wanna marry him or something?"

"I did ask him that—"

"Then how did it go?"

"But that was..." Sighing, Donghae slowly lowering his gaze, unable to meet Heechul's expectant gaze. "That was when I asked him out of blue and things got messy before become of what we are now." He bites his lower lips as he plays with the taco shell, suddenly losing his appetite. "I don't wanna risk anything for now."

Heechul's voice sounds confused when he asks, "Aren't you playing it too safe?"

"Well, better be prepared than being sorry?" Donghae bitterly smiles, the nightmare he had months ago sometimes still haunts him and turns his mood sour. "I'm content enough of what I have now."

Heechul sighs, "Then," Donghae slowly looks up, only to found the older man stares at him for a while, glints of gentleness sit in his orbs, which is uncommon sight to see. "How long you're going to wait for him?"

No words unable to roll out of Donghae’s tongue that able to answer Heechul right now.

Hyukjae dating him itself already a miracle for him, with both of them not having experience of dating the same and having no initial interest in it, let alone a marriage.

A marriage would take a whole universe to make it happen for Donghae.

He just trying to be realistic. And careful.

(And afraid, actually.)

"Well, realistically speaking," Donghae props his chin with his right hands as he looks out the window, watching the bustling night of Seoul that gets busier as the night falls deeper. "I'm not even sure if this relationship going even further to marriage."

What Donghae sees right now is the most shocked Heechul he’s ever seen, "What are you—"

Donghae's smiles still bitter as he cuts Heechul off, "I don't even know, Hyung." he pauses, avert his gaze to Heechul whose gaze still lays on him, which his eyes look both surprised and sad. "I know that I love him, but," he tried to smiles the sadness away from Heechul but it only makes the latter looks even sorry. "It still feels like a dream to me." he stops for a while, takes a deep sigh before says, "I know that it was selfish, but I just don't want to risk anything to ruin these wonderful dreams of mine."

"Donghae—"

"Sorry, Hyung," Donghae stops Heechul by grabbing both of the latter's hands, eyes locked with his as he smiles as bright as he could, "I know that you did this for my sake, but I really appreciated it if we don't bring this topic anymore."

They went silent for a while after that.

They spent another twenty minutes of chatting, tried their best to avoid the topic they brought earlier while finishing their ordered meals. Heechul went home first, however, as he still has another appointment with his client after this, but still being a mannered man by paying the meal as he promised.

Donghae decided to cool his brain off by went to a nearest coffee shop for an iced americano or two, if one didn't do the work.

The topic of marriage itself... he tried his best to not bring it up when he's together with Hyukjae.

Not that he doesn’t want to; of course he wants to marry him, that was why he asked Hyukjae to marry him at first instead asking him to date him, but it doesn’t sound as easy as hey wanna get married? oh sure it sounds great! and ended up exchanging vows in front of altar while the birds flying in the background like a great ending of a movie usually is.

He needs to think lots of things to make it happen, but the most important of all is: is Hyukjae actually wants to?

There are times when they passed pre-wedding photoshoots when they went to places like parks or cultural heritages, which the couples always look like they have all the world and ready to spend the rest of their life together with such loving eyes thrown to each other’s. He did enjoy watching them, but he can’t help himself to watch how Hyukjae would react—the older man often made some comments, however, it’s only about how the couple looks great together and nothing else.

He’s afraid that he’s the only one who excited about anything related to marriage.

Which is Donghae often made a little reminder to himself to not being overwhelmed by the happiness he had these weeks, chanting that it probably won't last forever.

It’s not that he’s being such a pessimist, but…

He is just trying to be careful and trying to not hurt both parties includes himself.

(He just, like, really, really afraid of the outcome.)