because today it's my birthday, I'll be generous with a faster update! enjoy! :D

It was a dream.

Or so Donghae thought when he wakes up in the next morning, groggily scratches his body with eyes blinking, trying to wake himself up as he grabbing his phone on the nightstand, checking if there’s any important messages from his work.

There’s none.

He put his phone back before he turns his back, only to found Hyukjae was sleeping peacefully on his bed.

It was real.

He momentarily gasps in silence, wondering how come Hyukjae is on his bed only to remember that the latter asked if he could spend the night since it was already too late for him to go home. They only slept together in a bed. Platonic sleeping, if Donghae could describe the situation?

No taking off clothes involved or anything.

No.

Nope.

Sighing, Donghae takes his time to admire Hyukjae’s sleeping face—things that he rarely seen since they started to have job and became proper adult and live separately—as his fingers slowly ruffles Hyukjae’s hair, smiles as he remembered what happened last night.

It was too good to be true, actually.

Hyukjae shakes his head gently, trying to stop anyone who trying to mess with his sleep as unconsciously muffling “Stop it…” before he slowly opens his eyes, about to tells off someone only when he realizes it was Donghae. “Hey—oh, it was you.”

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” Donghae chuckles but his hand doesn’t stop ruffling Hyukjae’s hair as the latter grunts in reply. “Good morning?” Hyukjae blinks several times, trying to wake himself up by adjusting the sudden sunlight rays to his eyes. “Or do you want to sleep again? It’s still seven after all.”

Hyukjae shakes his head, squirms before he stretches his muscles while softly groans before he looks finally at least a bit more awake than before. “No, it’s okay.” He gets up before leans to Donghae, softly pecks his cheek as smile soon grows on his face. “Morning.”

God, is he still dreaming?

“I don’t think I can getting used to this…” Embarrassed, Donghae soon chuckles when Hyukjae unconsciously pouts in return, being more adorable than he already is. “But it’s nice.”

Hyukjae hums, “Of course it is.” He sheepishly stifles a laugh before he says, “I’ll go make breakfast.” and gets off the bed to go to the kitchen, leaving Donghae who’s still on the bed but soon he appears again in front of the door, adorably only shows his head. “As usual?”

Donghae gulps, slowly feels attacked by the sudden adorableness of Hyukjae that he never knew he had. “Uh, sure?” The older man’s head bobs in reply before left him again, only to make Donghae sighs in relief.

It feels like a dream.

A dream he doesn’t want to end.

Actually, it still feels like a dream to Donghae.

Nothing changed after they started dating; they only returned to normal like nothing happened like they never felt awkward to begin with. The only thing that changed is that they often exchanged kisses when there’s chance but only as far as soft kisses.

Donghae isn’t really mind, though. He prefers this way rather than being suddenly being cheesy and squishy just because they are dating only recently.

What he didn’t expect is Hyukjae was actually the type who’s more proactive by often initiate things first more than he is.

The first thing Hyukjae would do when they met is a peck on his cheek before smile that Donghae secretly loves plastered on his face, blushes lightly seeps his cheeks as he greets by hey, long time no see or hi there or any greeting that suits the situation. Always.

And often ended up Donghae asked if it’s okay for him to kiss Hyukjae on the lips in public because the latter looks too adorable to not to which the older man quickly nods.

Not that Donghae mind, but still.

It feels unreal.

Dating is great and all, but….

There’s something that makes Donghae still feels uneasy although he’s supposed to be happy with the result.

Donghae was in the middle of finishing his project when Siwon approached his desk, smirk plastered on his face with his strong eyebrows arched than he usually does, implying he knew something that Donghae wouldn’t rather know.

He still shows no reaction, silently rejecting Siwon’s presence, by fingers still tapping the keyboard harder, trying to tell Siwon that he doesn’t want to have any tea he has at the moment, but it only makes the older man approach even closer before an arm slings on his neck.

Only to strangle Donghae off.

“Hey! Let go—!” Donghae groans as both of his hands reflexively grab Siwon’s hands, trying to get his hand off him, but there’s no use since the older man only strangle him harder. “Dammit, Siwon, let go!”

He can tell Siwon rolls his eyes without him seeing as he says, “I think you forgetting something?”

“I—no??” He’s struggling letting go of Siwon’s hand, by the older man being more buff than him, which is makes him stronger than him, and which is make it hard for him to shrugs him off. “Hey, let go of me!!”

The older man sighs, finally letting go enough to not strangle but tight enough for a hug as he leans his head on top of Donghae’s head, snickers as he asks, “Heechul-hyung said that it worked out?” Oh, that’s what he was trying to dig. Donghae scoffs, but he doesn’t let it shows—not that Siwon can see his response from their position, but still. “How long it has been?”

“It’s been three weeks, I think?” Donghae finally lets Siwon do whatever he wants as he starts to type again, returning to his work. “Why?”

Siwon hums, “Well, it finally worked out so I don’t have any complain.” He hums again, but soon he asks, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but is it just me or you don’t look happy at all?”

Huh?

Is he?

“Me?” Donghae blinks, but his fingers still typing while sometimes his right hand grabs the mouse to edit the missed content. “How so?” He does have some worries but he is content enough by what he has now, so why?

He can feel Siwon shrugs on top of his shoulder, but he still responds, “I don’t know, but it looks like that?”

Sighing, his fingers finally stop as he finally done with his work, finally giving Siwon attention he needs by looking up, only frowning his forehead more when he thinks about the older man’s question as he asks again, “How so?”

“I said, I don’t know! My gut said so!” Siwon grumbles, looks as frustrated as Donghae is. Although Donghae knew that Siwon doing this to him because he genuinely worried about him, but him being vague about it only frustrate him even more. “Wanna have a drink at my place after this? Maybe you can pour your hearts out with some drink?”

Donghae shakes his head, “I already have a plan with Hyukjae tonight.”

“Ohhh, sticky to each other as usual, huh?” Donghae shush him with a flick on his chin, grunts so what as he finally shoves Siwon off his head before he sends his work to the director’s secretary for a further action. “Where to?”

“None of your business?” Donghae scoffs, but soon laughs when Siwon’s expression suddenly sank in disappointment. “Nothing much, probably just watching movies in Hyukjae’s place with chimaek like usual.”

“That’s so…”

“Bland?” Chuckling, Donghae only smiles as he says, “Yeah, I know.” He checks his table clock. 8 pm. He promised Hyukjae he’ll go as soon as he finishes his work but he did say that he’ll probably come at 9 in case something coming up at work. “Any ideas, then?”

“I don’t know, dinner at fancy places or something?” Siwon tilts his head, pondering of any good ideas that probably useful for his little friend. “It’s kinda difficult when it comes to Hyukjae, so…” he stops, staring at Donghae for a second before he says, “Hey, what about a vacation instead?”

That’s not a bad idea, actually, but… “Well, now it’s not the time, though. Hyukjae has gigs this month and I don’t really want to break his pace so I’ve been visiting his place instead.” He sighs as he turns his chair to Siwon who has been leaning on the wall of his workplace, probably thinking other ideas that he can accept. “Hey Boss, can you give me some time off when the time comes, then?”

“What’s your total percentage of your work of this month?”

“Probably already passed ninety percent as usual?”

“Well, for the love of my friend’s life,” Siwon gets up, a little smirk off his face as he pats Donghae’s head—although the older man knew he hated it very much—as he says, “Wait until the end of this month and we’ll see?”

“Don’t pat my head, dammit.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Siwon sighs, “I’ll send some ideas by messages later when I had one, then.”

Donghae chuckles, though. He really glad he has Siwon in his life, being supportive friend and all. “Thanks, really.” Siwon only nods as he pats Donghae’s head again. “Can I go home now?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He probably needs to demand some explanations from Siwon later for saying he doesn’t look as happy as he supposed to be later.

The priority he has now is to contact Hyukjae that he’ll come to his place earlier than he promised.

They really ended up watching movies at Hyukjae’s place with chimaek as Donghae predicted.

Not that Donghae complained, actually, since he knew how busy Hyukjae these days is.

Hyukjae has been working as a choreographer since they graduated college eight years ago, pursuing the dreams he always had since he was little, instead of looking for job that his degree should get—both of them were majoring in Business. He did actually look for one, but immediately quit a month later as he finally found that although he likes his major, the job isn’t really for him.

Donghae was the one who suggested him to look for dance-related job since they used to be in a dance club back then in the college and he knew Hyukjae had the skill to make the job out of it, by him looked his happiest self when he’s dancing right on the beat, totally enjoying the moment the beat drops and lost in the music as he dances like there’s no tomorrow.

Now Hyukjae is one of the top choreographers in his workplace after through much hardships. He’s the most popular when it comes to giving strong impacts at the first sight, which is the reason why many companies get him to choreographing their new groups for a strong impact debut.

On the other hand, Donghae did get a job as his degree should have, which is being an accountant in a company that he only knew it was Siwon’s when it was his two years working there. He got promoted pretty fast, since he knew how to work efficiently and accurately, and is in a stable position as the executive director on his department, which helps him to relax a bit now since he doesn’t have to work as much as he used to back then.

The most important thing is that now he got to spend his time more with Hyukjae as the time they get older, since the latter doesn’t have fixed schedule and it was hard to match up their schedule back then.

“Hey,” Hyukjae suddenly speaks up, pulls Donghae to reality as the younger reflexively turn his head to him. “You’re busy tomorrow?” He shakes his head. No, he’s not. Tomorrow is Saturday and with his position in the company right now he doesn’t have to do the little works anymore. “Wanna spend the night here?”

“Is your preparation of the gig already done, though?” Donghae frowns. Hyukjae nods in reply. “Isn’t this already a week before the day?”

Smug faces slowly plastered on Hyukjae’s face as he grins, “Yeah, but I’ve done most of it so it’s okay, I can cut some slack. I’ve been sleeping less than four hours for a week now, I deserved some rest.” Donghae only hums as his fingers start to gently ruffles Hyukjae’s hair. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, though.”

A smirk appears on Donghae’s lips as he slowly asks, “Aww, do you want to sleep together later?” His eyes went crescent as he saw Hyukjae isn’t answering by words but by a light redness on his pale cheeks that he can clearly see even in the darkness they have right now—to enjoy the movie more, Hyukjae said. “Should I cuddle you later?”

Hyukjae’s lips open for a while, wanting to say something but soon feels hesitant as he turns tight-lipped and looks away from Donghae. Donghae’s still waiting, as it’s the first time Hyukjae acts this way to him and he’s waiting for what will happened next.

And then Hyukjae, by him still looks away from Donghae, finally murmurs by the pressure the younger man unconsciously gave to him, “…you can do more than that if you want.”

“Hmm?” He teases the older man by leans closer to Hyukjae, narrowing their proximity as he says, “What’s this? Is Lee Hyukjae trying to seduce me now?” Hyukjae hangs his head even lower, trying to avoid Donghae, seems like he realized what he said earlier. He laughs, though, before messing with Hyukjae’s hair and says, “But no, I won’t.”

Hyukjae abruptly raises his head, “… why?”

He sighs. He knew soon or later they need to talks this out, but he didn’t expect it’ll come this soon to him. “I… think we need to take it slow.” And I’m not even sure if you’ll still want to be with me since all of this dating thing is only a trial—a trying phase—for you but he shoved it down to his throat, not wanting to ruin the moment. “We’ve been only dating less than a month, after all.”

The older man sighs, “That’s true, but…” Hyukjae stops, seems hesitant at the moment as he asks, “Don’t you wanna try a bit?”

“Are you in heat?” Donghae get smacked immediately. “What’s the rush, Hyukjae?”

“I’m not! I—I just,” Hyukjae sighs, “You know what? Forget that I said anything about this.” He was about to get off the sofa before Donghae pulls him down for a hug. “Hey—!” Donghae laughs his heart out as Hyukjae’s trying to get off his laps but his arms strong enough to held him down. “Let go of me!!”

“Okay, let’s hear you out,” Donghae hums as he tightening his hug around Hyukjae’s waist, buried his face on his shoulder as he inhales the sweet scent of his. “What do you want to try, though?”

“I… don’t know? Anything that’s more than kissing?”

See? “You know…” Donghae gently let go of his arms off Hyukjae’s waist, sighing as he lets the latter off his laps. “You don’t have to force yourself to work this out.” Hyukjae frowns, but Donghae sighing again, “I don’t want you feel obliged to do this just because we’re dating.” He bits his lower lip, looks away from Hyukjae as he says, “Nobody’s rushing you.” and we’re just trying, trying to date—but he shoved it down to his throat again, holding himself to not ruin everything.

Hyukjae sighs in disbelief. “What are you saying?” Donghae blinks, what’s with his tone? “Listen to me, Lee Donghaek.” The older man sighs again as he finally sits beside him, supporting his head by his arm on the backside of the sofa while his eyes fixed on Donghae, “Wanna hear a secret?”

“… what is it?”

“I…” Hyukjae’s fingertips began to make a contact with Donghae’s cheeks, trails to his jaw as he exclaims, "I've been dreaming about you.” Donghae’s eyes already locked in Hyukjae’s, but he still shows no response. “Guess what it is.”

“Me being feast in your eyes?” Hyukjae sighs, hand reflexively slaps his cheek gently, baffled with his nonsense. “I don’t know? What is it?”

“I’ve been dreaming with us wearing nothing.” And he stops, expectant glints in his eyes. “Wanna hear the detail?” Donghae immediately shakes his head. “I wasn’t trying to rush it, okay? We’re dating, aren’t we? I just want to do things that couple do,” His thumb gently rubs Donghae’s lips as he smiles “Hugging, kissing, love making,” he leans for a peck before his smiles grow wider, “Will I do this if I feel forced?”

“Hyukjae—”

“Can’t we?” Hyukjae’s fingers trail to Donghae’s neck, smile still plastered on his face. “We don’t have to go all the way if you want.” He stops, bites his lower lips as he asks—or pleads, Donghae can’t really tell. “Please?”

There’s no use of Donghae rejecting Hyukjae if the latter really wants it—of course he wants to touch him too, he has been holding himself to not advancing their relationship to the next base since he’s been afraid, he is afraid, he’s afraid of hurting Hyukjae in the process.

Being hated by Hyukjae is the least thing he wants in his life.

“… I just don’t want you regret it.” Donghae finally speaks up. He really does. “I might sound like a coward, but back then when you avoided me was the worst thing I’ve experienced in his life.” Hyukjae gently put his arms around Donghae, pulling him for a hug. “I just don’t want that to happen again.”

“I’m sorry about that,” He pats Donghae’s back gently, drawing circles to calm him down. “I was confused back then,” He softly chuckles, “Being asked to marry out of blue is really confusing, you know.” Donghae murmurs sorry in a weak voice. “’Huh, can I really do that?’ was what I thought, ‘Am I even ready to spend the rest of my life with this idiot?’” He lets out a strangled sound when Donghae weakly punch his stomach. “But now I’m sure I could, since I can’t image my life without you in it anymore.” Donghae pulls back, only find Hyukjae smiles the sincerest smile he’s seen in his life. “What do you think?”

Donghae’s still unsure, by slowly asking Hyukjae, asking a confirmation, “Do you meant what you said?”

Hyukjae strongly nods as he replies, “Yes, I am.”

“So, you don’t think this as a trying phase anymore?”

“Huh? What are you saying?” Hyukjae frowns, “I thought we’re dating for real?” Donghae’s eyes widen in surprise, which only makes Hyukjae’s frown goes deeper. “What, don’t you say you’ve been holding back because you think I was playing with you?”

Strongly shakes his head, Donghae rebuts Hyukjae’s blatant remark—which shoots right to his heart because how damn true it is—rather flustered, “No, I mean, I didn’t think you were playing with me—” he goes more flustered when all Hyukjae responds are sighing in disbelief, “No, no, listen to me! Back then you were the one who said we can try dating first so I was thinking that you—”

“I did say that but that doesn’t mean I don’t date you seriously!” Baffled, Hyukjae rolls his eyes as he heavily sighs, seems like he understood something Donghae didn’t know. “So that was why Siwon said you looked unhappy!”

“No, I’m not—wait, Siwon?” Donghae’s the one who frowning now. “You’ve been contacting Siwon these days?” That’s weird. They are indeed close since three of them met back then they were in middle high and have been spending time together since then, but Hyukjae rarely reply or pick Siwon’s call since he thought that the latter would often starts clinging into him when he replies and it’s annoying to him—that’s why he’s really surprised when he heard Siwon’s name out of Hyukjae’s mouth. “I thought you don’t like contacting him and would rather meeting him in person?”

Hyukjae blinks, realizing of what he said before yelps, immediately covers his mouth and about to get off the sofa but Donghae’s holding him down, pulling him to sofa again only to make both of them falls, by Hyukjae on top of him, still covers his face in redness seeps on his face.

There’s no way Donghae would let him run away once again, not after he knew what’s up!

At least there should be any explanation of Hyukjae suddenly being contact with Siwon, there should have be!

“I, uh…” Hyukjae reflexively buries his face to Donghae’s chest, not letting the latter to see the face he made right now. “Let’s say that I asked his advice and… yeah.”

So that’s why Siwon was trying to dig some info from him before! “Why?”

Hyukjae buries his head more, which actually makes Donghae wants to curl and bury himself, not knowing what to do with the situation, because both of their position is really compromising and the older man being this cute doesn’t help him at all. “Since… I want to be better partner to you?”

“And he told you to seduce me?”

“No!” Hyukjae almost looks up but realizes he still couldn’t control his facial expression so he cancelling the idea by burying his head again. “That’s… that was… my own initiation?”

God.

Oh my God.

“Oh my God, Hyukjae,” Donghae sighs, tries to force Hyukjae to looks up by lifting his chin so he can look at him better but it only makes the latter buries even deeper. “You’ll be the death of me, seriously.” He slowly gets up as he uses his other arm to prevent Hyukjae from falling, back leaning on the sofa as he waits Hyukjae’s embarrassment died down while laughing, rather baffled by ups and downs of their conversation tonight. “We’re really stupid, aren’t we.”

Hyukjae groans, “Be glad that I’m willing to stick with you, dammit.” which only makes Donghae’s laughs grows fonder. “Oh God, why did I say that…”

“Why, I liked it, though?” Donghae pats Hyukjae’s hair now, tries to soothe the older man so he doesn’t have to feel embarrassed anymore. “It was rare of you being this honest.” He laughs when Hyukjae hits his chest in return. “How long are you gonna stay this way, by the way?”

Hyukjae doesn’t answer immediately—he stays still for a while before hums, trying to get his attention as he whispers, “… can you carry me to my bed?”

So Donghae does, by carefully lifting Hyukjae, securing his arms around him so they won’t fall as he walks to the older man’s bed.

“Hey,” Donghae calls as he put Hyukjae down, leaning to his ear as he whispers, “I love you.” pulling himself back to see that Hyukjae already in the same shade as tomato, fresh and red. “Very much.”

Hyukjae still manages to smile, though, which makes Donghae’s heart feels attacked (did Hyukjae do this on purpose? Donghae could never tell, actually). “Me too.” As he laughs in embarrassment, he exclaims, “Wow, when I think about it again, it sure is embarrassing more than I thought…”

Donghae thought he can push prank a little bit more as he asks, “You still up for trying it out?” while smirk plastered on his face, only to be replied by Hyukjae’s scoff no, you ruined the mood. “Well, what about a cuddle instead?”

Hyukjae answers Donghae with stretches both of his arms, welcoming him for a cuddle, which the latter reply by receiving his arms and both falls on the bed, only makes them giggling afterwards.

He really thought he can get used to this, with Hyukjae opens up more to him, with both of them re-learning about each other that they didn’t know they had when they were still in a relationship, getting fonder with each other as they learn about it.

Yeah.

He can get used to this.