Sorry seems to be the hardest word

SinB watched the girl’s tears fall down as she walked away. It was sad, so sad to see her leave. She wanted to stop her, yet it was as if her feet were stuck to the floor. She wanted to confort her but it would be useless as she was the main reason of Yuju’s reaction. She broke her heart and she couldn’t even say sorry to her. If she had asked her, she wouldn’t be able to explain the situation. Was it because she had no regrets ? Well, she couldn’t answer that crucial question. The other woman was still here but she seemed shocked maybe because she didn’t know that her « lover » was already dating someone else. She only discovered it when Yuju entered the room and shouted out at SinB. In reality, it was all acting because she had already felt like SinB was not single. Yet it didn’t stop her from wanting to break their relation and tonight she finally made it. She was just so happy but she couldn’t show it.

SinB you didn’t tell me that you were already in a relationship ? How could you do that ?

I did nothing …

Yes, you did, you kissed me.

Yeah I did, but there were no emotions in it. You told me to kiss you …

Why did you do it ?

I … Sinb didn’t know what to say. Maybe because I am used to obey you as you are my boss.

Well I am but tonight we went to this club as friends.

SinB was lost, she couldn’t bear the situation. She wanted to find Yuju and tell her that she is sorry and that all of this was just a misunderstanding but she couldn’t.

I am sorry Ms. Kim but I have to go.

Why ? I am sorry SinB but you can’t just leave like this.

I have to find Yuju and explain her the situation.

No I don’t want you to leave SinB, please. You should comply with your promise.

SinB wanted to complain but she stopped because it was her boss in front of her. Her boss who was the key for her to have access to a better work in the company. On top of that she was from the US and SinB wanted to live there. It was her dream and her boss told her once that she would help her but only if she worked hard. For that she worked day and night, sacrifice some times for her friends and Yuju, but that didn’t stop her. Yuju dream’s was also to live in the US and that was motivated SinB. Her boss, a forty-five-year-old woman, wanted to get close to her but SinB didn’t know the real reason. She assumed that it was in order to help her achieving her dream. Her boss had already invited her a multiple times to her big penthouse. She took her to V.I.P club and other events. SinB discovered an environment of wealth and celebrity. She enjoyed it even if sometimes she just wanted to go home to see Yuju. Her boss was very funny and she had a astonishing charism. SinB couldn’t help but admire her. During her talks with her, she would tell SinB everything about her life and SinB would sometimes share pieces of her own but never did she mention Yuju. When her boss talked about the US, SinB was seeing stars. So when earlier her boss mentioned wanting to take SinB to the US for a trip, SinB couldn’t hide her emotions anymore. Her boss offered her glasses in order to celebrate the upcoming travel. Nonetheless SinB couldn’t bear alcohol, she got drunk quickly. Both dropped their masks but only one of them was drunk. SinB was always emotionless with her boss. She kept everything inside as she was a very professional person. She was serious and show her funny side only to friends and Yuju. But with the alcohol in her blood, SinB let herself go and even went to the dance floor, something that she had never done in front of her boss before. The latter was still at the bar enjoying the view. Then she took SinB to another club without SinB being aware of it. She kind of had the presentiment that the place will solve everything as she had spied a couple of times SinB coming to this place after work. And she was right. Indeed they went to the V.I.P room and ordered alcohol. SinB was like a little girl jumping and dancing on the sofa. Then her boss asked for a kiss and at that moment the door opened. The person who delivered the alcohol was here and it was no other than Yuju. SinB even though she was drunk became conscious of her action with Yuju’s presence but it was too late. What’s worse was Ms. Kim asking her to stay with her. She couldn’t refuse so she nodded slowly. Ms. Kim offered her a drink again. She didn’t want to get drunk again but Ms. Kim insisted so she gave in.

The next morning, SinB woke up and she felt empty. She felt bad because of her hangover but also because of what happened with Yuju. She didn’t recognize the room where she was. But then, a woman entered the room.

You are awake Miss Hwang. I hope you had a good night. Ms. Kim is waiting for you in the living room. The bathroom is over there. If you need anything it, that would be a pleasure for me to help you.

SinB frowned before laying her head on the pillow. She was at her boss’ home. How she missed her own home. Even if it was only one night, she already missed waking up beside Yuju in the morning.
A few minutes later she left the bathroom and went in the living room.

SinB how are you ? Did you sleep well ? asked Ms. Kim who was looking at the newspapers while drinking tea.

Yeah thanks Ms. Kim. I did, lied SinB

I am glad you did. Then if you don’t mind we will have breakfast.

I … well, okay. Thank you.

It was a first for SinB to have breakfast in such luxury. The penthouse was beautiful and the big glass windows let the sunlight bring a radiant atmosphere. Yet, in SinB’s mind it was still dark as she was already planning what she was going to tell Yuju after.

Thank you Ms. Kim. I am sorry but I have to go.

Oh … well I wasn’t expecting you to go so early but as you want. See you tomorrow at work, then. said Ms. Kim with a slightly disappointed tone.

SinB didn’t spare more time, she immediately left. A few minutes later, she arrived to the apartment where she was living with Yuju. She opened the door and saw a suitcase on the floor. She headed to the bedroom and saw Yuju in the bed still sleeping. Well she wasn’t because her eyes flew opened quickly when SinB approached her. SinB swore she had never seen a stare this cold coming from Yuju.

Yuju … Let

Please leave, cut Yuju with a surprisingly soft and low voice but still cold tone.

Wait …

No I can’t wait anymore. Please …

No, Yuju. I don’t want to leave without having explained the whole situation to you.

I am not blind nor a baby, SinB !

What ? SinB was confused.

I saw it with my own eyes. You are a cheater. You have nothing to explain.

No I am not.

Yes you are and now you are also a liar.

And you, you are stubborn because you don’t let me express myself.

Me stubborn ? Please leave.

No let me explain !

I don’t want. Do you know why ? Because I am stubborn so when I chose to love you and to quit my perfect boyfriend and that everyone else warned me about you, I didn’t listen to them. And now that you ask me to listen to you I won’t. So please leave.

You still love that guy ?

No SinB how can you say that ? It has been years. When I met you it was love at first sight. I hurt him because I quit him while he didn’t do anything because you took his place in my heart. Everyone kept telling me that I shouldn’t trust you because you were still a stranger and that my boyfriend was already perfect however I didn’t care. But you know that, why are you asking this silly question ?

Because I know that I am still in your heart, Yuju. Please let me explain to you.

No I don’t want to see you anymore. This time, I want to follow my brain and not my heart. Yuju said as tears started to roll down on her face.

At that moment, SinB approached and took her in her arms. Yuju didn’t push her. SinB couldn’t say anything at this moment. She didn’t know what to say. She knew how hurt Yuju was now because usually she was a strong woman who doesn’t break down easily. She felt Yuju’s arms wrapped her waist. She let her cry on her chest as she caressed her hair softly. Yuju fell asleep on her arms so SinB decided to put her in the bed. She stayed beside her, thinking about what to do to make up for what she did. One hour later, Yuju woke up but SinB didn’t know because she had already fallen asleep. When the latter woke up, Yuju was not beside her. SinB stood up and searched for her lover. But she wasn’t there anymore and the suitcase either. She tried to call her but no one answered the phone. She panicked and left her appartement. SinB hoped than Yuju wasn’t too far away. She didn’t know where she was but she didn’t care. Indeed if she had to roam the entire city to find her, she would do it. The day passed and Yuju was nowhere to be find. It was one in the morning, SinB was exhausted but she didn’t want to give up. Yet she had to so she went to the appartement hoping that Yuju came back and was waiting for here there. However, the apartment was empty and cold. SinB felt empty. Her body gave in before her mind did, as she fell asleep on the couch. The next day, SinB completely forgot that she had to go to work. She was late but she didn’t care. She didn’t even greet her boss. She ignored everybody. Ms. Kim who kind of understood what could happened the day before was clearly pissed off as she didn’t want SinB to ignore her. She asked her to go and see her in the office:

SinB, what's wrong with you

Nothing.

SinB’s stare was empty and she sounded dull. Ms. Kim couldn’t stand being treated this way from her « lover ».

Do I have to remind you that I want you to work hard in order to make your dreams come true.

SinB didn’t respond, her dreams didn’t make any sense now that she had lost her reason to live. Indeed she sacrificed so much this last years in order to please her boss. She put Yuju aside when it comes to her boss’ requests. She did everything she had been told even if sometimes it had nothing to do with work nor her dream to go to the US. SinB realized something. Ms. Kim approached SinB and wanted to put her hand on SinB’s shoulder but SinB stepped back. Suddenly she raised her head and her eyes were full of hatred.

You … it is because of you !!

Ms. Kim was surprised.

SinB, calm down. I don’t know what are you talking about. Don’t forget that I am your boss.

You use my dreams as an excuse for you to take advantage of me. You even destroyed my couple. How could you ?

I did nothing, SinB. I don’t take advantage of you, I am helping you and even paying you more than others who do the same job. In a couple of days we will go to the US as promised. So how can you say that?

SinB didn’t know what to answer. She felt so selfish right now because she put the blame on her boss who did nothing but helped her to achieve her dreams. SinB thought that the only one to blame was herself. After work, SinB’s boss invited her to her home bit for the first time SinB refused. She wanted to go home and see if by chance Yuju went back home. But the apartment was empty. SinB went to bed. She wasn’t hungry.

A week passed and SinB concluded that Yuju wasn’t coming back anymore even if she had let a lots of her clothes and other stuff in the apartment. Every night her boss would offer her to go out or to her home but she refused each time. SinB didn’t feel lonely, she felt empty. She was like a robot because it was all work and no play. Her boss was more and more angry towards her because of her emotionless face and the fact that she wasn’t seeing her except at work. But she didn’t care. She also withdrew from the US trip. Ms. Kim decided to interfere because she felt as if she was things were slipping from her hand.
SinB went to the club where Yuju worked. She asked Yuju’s boss about her. He said that it has been a week since he saw her and that she told him that she will be abroad for a while. When she left the club, Ms Kim was there waiting for her.

SinB, we need to go now.

What ?

It is very important. It is for the company.

I am sorry Ms. Kim but I am not working on Sunday.

But sometimes you have to. It is not the first time. So please enter the car.

No.

Who said you have a choice ?! SinB, if you want to keep your job you must go !

I don’t care.

And what about your american dream ?

It doesn’t matter anymore. My girlfriend left me. She was everything to me.

Ms. Kim was taken aback because of SinB’s response. She was so in love with her girlfriend. Ms. Kim’s eyes were burning because of jealousy.

SinB, may I know where does your girlfriend work ?

She works in a electronics company and on the week end she works in the club over there but that, you already knew it.

Oh ... the company, is it E.C company ?

Yeah

Well I read the newspapers today and I learnt that they had just signed an important contract in Japan. What does your girlfriend do in the company ?

She is in charge of seeking new contracts. She is still new so she had to prove her worth.

Well, said Ms. Kim, that explains everything. She went in Japan because of this contract. And I think that she will be soon promoted.

SinB felt like a fool but at the same time she was relieved. That explains why Yuju left with the suitcase. Still, she didn’t inform her that she was going to Japan. SinB didn’t let her boss talk more and went back home. The apartment was empty but this time she was happy because she knew that Yuju was going to come back.

The next day it was Sunday and SinB kind of expected Yuju to come home. She realized that she hadn’t even apologized for what had happened. It was so hard for her to show any emotions so was saying sorry. So she told herself that she will do it when Yuju comes. But she didn’t. The next day, Ms Kim was reading the newspaper and she discovered news that shook her. A plane had crashed into the sea the day before. It came from Japan and on board there were mostly businessmen and businesswomen. Among other companies the columnist quoted the E.C company who had just signed the new contract. It was Yuju’s plane. Ms. Kim was shocked. She had to tell SinB and she couldn’t help but smile at the thought of it.

SinB arrived at work, feeling empty because Yuju didn’t come back when she thought she would.

SinB come into my office right now. It is very important, her boss informed her.

When she entered the office, she noticed Ms. Kim’s face full of worries.

SinB please sit. I have something to tell you.

SinB did as told.

SinB, I don’t think your girlfriend will come back.

Why ? asked SinB confused and a little angry.

Oh, you didn’t read the news !?

SinB didn’t respond. Ms. Kim handed her the newspaper. She read it. And she felt dead. For the first time, a tear rolled down her cheek. Ms. Kim wanted to comfort her but SinB didn’t let her. She took her car and went home. She cried all day until she received a call. She didn’t want to respond as her boss had already called her a few times during the day and she didn’t reply to any of them. But this time her mind told her that she had to reply. She did and it was the hospital asking her to come. She immediately went there.

Are you SinB Hwang ?, asked the receptionist.

Yeah I am.

Ok, please follow me.

She followed her then entered a room where a doctor spoke to her.

Please, sit down.

She did as told.

It is about Yuna Choi. I don’t know if you already know but her plane crashed down into the sea yesterday.

SinB couldn’t help but cry.

But wait, miss Hwang. I have only good news now.

SinB’s eyes brightened.

Is she alive ?

Yes, she is. The emergency services arrived just in times and managed to save everybody even if there are some injured people.

SinB couldn’t believe her ears. Yuju was alive.

Where is she ?

She is here. I examined her and she is in good health. She is the one who told us to call you.

The last sentence made SinB wanting to cry.

Can I see her ?

Of course you can. Follow me.

SinB was just so happy. She entered the room where the doctor left her alone with Yuju. The latter was in the bed sleeping. SinB didn’t want to wake her up so she sat beside her and waited but this time she didn’t fall asleep. Few minutes later, she woke up. She turned her head to the right and noticed SinB.

Yuju, SinB said, I was so afraid. Thanks god you are alive.

Yuju smiled at her.

I am here now, the rest doesn’t matter.

SinB only nodded. She didn’t know what to say. The doctor informed them that they could go. SinB didn’t let go of Yuju’s hand, she looked like a child stick to her mother. Both of them were silenced during the ride back home. They went to bed and cuddled. Suddenly, SinB felt bad.

Yuju, what did I do for you to give me another chance ?

Well, SinB I never gave you another chance because I never broke up with you. Yes, I was angry that’s why I didn’t warn you that I was going to Japan for work. But the crash made me realized something: I love you SinB, so much. Because when I thought that it was the end for me I realized that I needed you, that I wanted you by my side.

Yuju was going to add something more but she felt lips on her lips preventing from doing so. She deepened the kiss but SinB broke the kiss.

Yuju, I have something to tell you.

Yuju nodded.

Well, I wanted you to know that I missed you. When you were gone, I felt so empty, I was like a zombie. You are everything to me. And about that night, I am … I am …