june 2013 to may 2014. seoul.






 

━━━━





 

THERE IS ONE thing jongin won't go back to, for his sake of sanity. something that a lot of people, besides his close friends and family members, don't know. even kyungsoo.

 

that thing would be a someone. that someone is park chanyeol.

 

chanyeol was jongin's and baekhyun's best friend since they were two, and baekhyun was three. they played together, their moms hung out while the two boys ran around outside and came back in covered in mud. they played at school and stayed in the same friend group as they grew up. even if others came and left, it was always chanyeol, baekhyun and jongin that stayed together no matter what. their bonds were unbreakable. 

 

it wasn't until jongin and chanyeol had turned fourteen that they found a romantic interest in each other. jongin knew he was gay and chanyeol and baekhyun were supportive of him. chanyeol was experimenting and he agreed to date jongin to test the waters and see how he felt. he definitely felt something with jongin. he only knew chanyeol did because he could read chanyeol like the back of his hand. chanyeol was shy and considerably sweeter to jongin than he was with baekhyun or any of their other friends. he was clingy and touchy — meaning jongin and chanyeol never failed to be together in gatherings. whether jongin sat in chanyeol's lap or chanyeol was hanging off of jongin like a leech, they were rarely ever seen apart. it wasn't surprising to many that they'd be in a relationship at any point in time.

 

they started dating in june of their fourteenth year. they were awkward at first, like any young couple would be, but the shyness faded away with time and realizing that their relationship was barely any different. 

 

for a few months, they were great. their relationship was good, they put their friendship first, and they changed for the better. jongin became more and more affectionate, chanyeol performed small gestures like a song for jongin or taking him out at the most random times. all in all, they were just like any innocent couple in a comfortable, consensual relationship. jongin was so, so happy and for those couple of months, jongin was certain they would be together a long time.

 

however, in december that same year, chanyeol developed an illness. it was almost like his asthma just turned negatively on him — being unable to breathe at the most unexpected times, asthma attacks even while walking, coughing, coughing blood. it became worse and worse and chanyeol wasn't at school a lot. 

 

jongin's fifteenth birthday was a sunday and chanyeol had told him before christmas that he needed to get better. so they didn't see each other for a long time — but jongin wanted to see him. that's all he could have asked for that year, just to see chanyeol and talk to him like always. baekhyun decided to go with him too, being that he missed chanyeol as well. 

 

chanyeol's sister, yoora, answered the door when jongin and baekhyun knocked. she smiled sadly and let them in without reluctance. 

 

"yeollie, your friends are here," yoora had called. 

 

jongin bit his lip. baekhyun gripped his hand tightly, just as worried as jongin was.

 

chanyeol came out, but not exactly as they were expecting. they were hoping to see chanyeol, smiling, running towards the both of them to hug them because he missed them so much. albeit, chanyeol seemed almost gaunt. his eyes were tired, his posture slack and he astounded. he had an oxygen tube up his nose and he was pulling the said gas' tank. 

 

"what are you doing here?"

 

jongin's face fell. "we wanted to see you."

 

baekhyun remained silent, but nodded his head.

 

chanyeol didn't smile. "go."

 

jongin would have listened to chanyeol then, but he wasn't having it that time. he slipped his hand out of baekhyun's grasp and stomped up to chanyeol. 

 

"no."

 

"jongin, you need to go." chanyeol rasped. "i didn't want you to see me like this."

 

tears stung jongin's eyes and he instinctly held chanyeol's hands. "i'm not leaving. neither is baekhyun-hyung."

 

"you should," chanyeol spat. "i don't want you to see me ill."

 

"well i already have and you can learn to live with that."

 

chanyeol tried to pull his hands away. "no—"

 

jongin let go anyway, and threw his arms around chanyeol, head in the crook of his neck. the tears began to fall. "i'm not leaving."

 

chanyeol didn't move for a couple of moments, trembling. he didn't move, speak, nor falter when he said: "then break up with me. right now."

 

jongin lifted his head. "why would i?"

 

"i'm sick. i barely have the energy to leave my room anymore, jongin. what good of a person am i to you then?" 

 

the vulnerability had finally overcome chanyeol and he was crying. his voice was tired, raspy and desperate. jongin stood there, hands still resting on chanyeol's waist. then he kissed chanyeol — briefly, sufficing so chanyeol wouldn't gasp for breath. but it was passionate, enough for chanyeol to stop and stare at jongin with astonishment. 

 

jongin smiles sadly. "you are the best person to and for me. i'm going to stay because i love you, yeol. you're going to have to deal with that."

 

chanyeol gaped. nonetheless, he smiled for the first time at jongin in a month and pulled jongin into him. how jongin managed to convince him at that point, he will ever know. but he did and nothing made him happier in that moment. 

 

the trio spent time together like they always did. they celebrated jongin's birthday minimally, to which chanyeol apologized for many times. jongin had given him a kiss each time he said i'm sorry. 

 

each day, jongin visited chanyeol after school. sometimes he was with baekhyun and/or another friend, but most times he