Chapter 4 

Recommended song: I'm not the only one (by Sam Smith)

'Jaewon, we've gotta sort this out. What exactly happened yesterday?' asked Hanbin, in an urgent tone, with his chest heaving up and down.

'Buddy, Breathe! To be honest, I kind of out last night. I genuinely can't remember much. The last thing I could remember from yesterday was you telling me that you needed to go home to your Yunhyeongie,' said Jaewon, in one go.

Hanbin's heart warmed up a little bit upon the mention of his endearment for Yunhyeong. But, almost instantaneously, he snapped out of reverie and resumed with his business.

'What do you mean you couldn't remember a single thing from yesterday night? Look at these marks on my arm! Who else could have made them?' shouted Hanbin at Jaewon, who still looked chilled and unfazed.

'Hanbinnie, chill! It was fun, wasn't it? I remember that you came along with me to the club cuz you wanted more excitement and spice things up since you found your boy toy boring. In all honesty, I feel super bad for you cuz you never experienced anything thrilling, but yesterday you did, didn't you? There's no use in denying. I caught you flirting with that Jisoo girl. You know she texted me last night, telling me that you made her night special and would like to meet you again,' blabbered Jaewon, obviously stoned.

'I just wanted to let loose for once...I thought you understood. Life is stressful but that didn't mean anything. It was one-off. It will never ever happen again, I swear,' retorted Hanbin.

'I swear you said that last week and the week before. It's obvious that nothing's going well for you and your boy toy since he still hasn't found out. You know I think you should change things around and dump him,' said Jaewon, indifferently.

Hanbin retaliated every single snarky comment Jaewon made about his infidelity, yet Jaewon always had a way to get back at him. What they didn't notice was an ajar door since they were so engrossed in conversation.

'Yunhyeongie, let's go. I don't want you to learn more about that jerk and the s he's done,' whispered Jinhwan into Yunhyeong's ear.

Yet, Yunhyeong remained crouching down with eyes staring into the distance.

'Why? Did I do something wrong? Maybe I was just his toy...I should have known earlier...I know he never swung that way...I was just an adventure...' muttered Yunhyeong to himself, with eyes set intently on his feet, like a child being told off by his parents.

Seeing Yunhyeong shatter into pieces did make Jinhwan's heart ache, but he had something more important to do, which was to make everyone happy.

'Did you hear something?' asked Jaewon, who then approached the door to check if there were intruders.

Almost immediately after Jaewon rose to his feet, Yunhyeong took Jinhwan's hand and ran downstairs, as if he was the one who perpetrated the crime of disloyalty.

'I know this will never go into your head, but I only love him and I know that for sure. For your information, I never hit on any girls. It was you who flirted with every single creature in the club. I was only in for the drugs. So what the happened that night? You'd better come clean. Did you spike my drink?' shrieked Hanbin, while pulling up Jaewon from the swivel chair by the collar of his shirt.

'No, I didn't. I think mine was spiked too. Wait...it was a girl...I think it was Jisoo...we have to find Jisoo,' whimpered Jaewon, in shock.

Without saying a thing, Yunhyeong hailed a cab and pulled Jinhwan along with him when he entered the cab. Silence soon filled the air. Jinhwan expected a Yunhyeong with tears streaked across and rolling down his cheeks. Yet, he saw nothing like that. Yunhyeong looked unfazed and was still staring into the distance as if he was in deep thought. Yunhyeong felt Jinhwan's concerned gaze but he decided to ignore it as he knew that Jinhwan would understand him. Yunhyeong felt like he was in a labyrinth, lost and confused, trying to find a way out. He could not pinpoint what was going through in his mind at this moment, but he could hear Jaewon's voice calling him Hanbin's 'boy toy'. Everything with Hanbin was fake-it was all his own wishful thinking. Hanbin never loved him as he claimed to. However, it still remained impossible for Yunhyeong to berate Hanbin- not even in his mind. Yes, he was in denial. Was Hanbin that good at acting? Obviously not, since he couldn't even lie to him about his birthday surprise party. Was he capable of being a cheater? No, he always told him about his whereabouts of his own accord, except for the past few weekends. Hanbin was always there for him when he needed him, even when he was loaded with work. There were even times when he joked about them being an old married couple and Chanwoo being their only child. He always made him feel special by complimenting him in any way he possibly could, although sometimes he , but he knew when to stop and when to coo over him. Their members always found ways to make them feel embarrassed except for Jinhwan as he claimed that they were too lovey-dovey to watch. Despite their busy schedule and Hanbin's exceptional work ethic, they always found time for each other to talk about almost anything, more accurately saying, everything.

Again in silence, Yunhyeong and Jinhwan got off the cab and entered their apartment block. Jinhwan knew that Yunhyeong was obviously deeply hurt and possibly in denial of the conversation he had just overheard. It was his time to intervene.

Once they stepped into the flat, Jinhwan immediately dragged Yunhyeong into the kitchen and closed the door on his way, leaving a clueless June in the living room.

Jinhwan looked at Yunhyeong intently, in vain hope that the younger boy would open up and share the burden with him, like the way he used to. However, Yunhyeong kept mum, with his lips pursed and the corners of his mouth turned down, while returning Jinhwan's warm encouraging gaze.

'Yunhyeongie, it's okay. Cry it out. You've gotta get this out of your system,'cooed Jinhwan.

Slowly, Yunhyeong's eyes began to brim with hot prickling tears. Millions of thoughts and feelings were running through his mind:sadness, disappointment, and shock. Surprisingly enough, he harbored no resentment nor any hard feelings for Hanbin whatsoever, despite what he heard that afternoon. He just wanted his Hanbinnie, who clung to him, was patient with him, and, lastly, loved him wholeheartedly, to return to him.

People around him, especially Jinhwan, had told him that he was a fool in love. This was because he was always forgiving, only saw the good in people, and would always trust Hanbin. This time, could he do the same and continue to trust Hanbin? Could he listen to Hanbin's declarations of his profound undying love for him without cringing? At this very moment, he didn't know, yet he was adamant that he would do anything to keep Hanbin by his side, unless Hanbin confessed to him that he was sick of him. As pathetic as it may seem to others, Yunhyeong was willing to lie to himself again and again that what heard was just a cruel prank of Hanbin.

'Hyung, I just don't get it...He said he loved me...He couldn't have done it' said Yunhyeong while sniffling.

'Yunhyeong, listen up. I'm your hyung and you know that I'll always be there for you. This is hard for me to say, but...Hanbin cheated on you with one. I saw this with my very own eyes. I'm sorry...' said Jinhwan, while squeezing Yunhyeong's shoulders that were leaning against the wall.

Those words that came out of Jinhwan's mouth were like sharp blades piercing through Yunhyeong's heart, shattering it into fragments. Shorn of life, Yunhyeong slumped down into tiled floor and curled into a tight ball, drowning in acute agony.  He could feel the floor slowly slipping away from him as he processed the brutal confession of Jinhwan. Feeling weak, he struggled to stop his eyelids from drooping and gradually, he submitted to his heart's desire and went into oblivion, letting his eyelids drop.