Chapter 12

Recommended songs: Stay (by Sam Smith) and Love Scenario (by iKON) for the ending

Rays of sunlight sifted through the grey curtains and landed on the floor, illuminating the previously dark room. A slim figure could be seen lying on the bed with his right hand searching for something on the other side of the bed. Hanbin stirred in his sleep, still reaching out to Yunhyeong. Drawing a blank, Hanbin opened his eyes and sat up to look around the room Yunhyeong was not there.

‘Yunhyeongie?’ called out Hanbin.

Yet, there was no answer. Fearing that his worst nightmare came true, Hanbin immediately got out of bed and opened Yunhyeong's closet. It was emptied and the suitcase that used to sit on the bottom shelf was gone. Yunhyeong was gone. Hanbin left the room and darted back and forth the flat in vain hope that Yunhyeong would answer to his desperate calls. A sleepy Chanwoo awoke to the commotion outside his room and emerged from his room, asking Hanbin if everything was alright.

‘Chanwoo yah, Yunhyeongie’s left!’ exclaimed Hanbin, agitated.

‘Wait, what? He just agreed to stay with us and be around during our comeback time yesterday. He even promised to go to more sessions so that he could recover sooner. Have you checked if his things are still in his room?’ asked Chanwoo.

‘Everything's gone, see?’ said Hanbin, while opening Yunhyeong's closet for Chanwoo to see its insides.

‘Have you tried calling him? Wait, what's that on your nightstand? Don't tell me Yunhyeong hyung left us all a letter,’ replied Chanwoo, with his hand reaching for the envelope on the nightstand.

‘It's a letter. Do you want me to read it out for you?’ suggested Chanwoo, as he saw Hanbin's tired face.

‘Yes, please,’ answered Hanbin.

‘Dear Hanbin,

I know that you and the others must be thinking how old-school I am now, leaving you all a letter. I didn't want to write a letter, at first, but you all know how bad I am at expressing myself verbally, so I thought I should talk to you guys through words, on paper. Hanbinnie, out of everyone , I feel most sorry to you. I do have to admit that I knew that you were interested in Jaewon hyung in the beginning, yet I still continued going after you. I don't know how I eventually got with you, but I'm positive that you were just confused with your feelings and saw Jaewon hyung in me- I know it was the eyes. I don't think you're aware of this, but most of the time when you sleeptalk, you mention Jaewon hyung and apologise to me over and over again. Hanbin, please be true to yourself. It's not me who owns your heart; it has always been him. Please just go to him. I'll hope for your happiness, even if it's not with me. Please forget about us, me, and everything about me.

And, thankyou for everything. There's nothing I can do to repay what you've done for me…

Lots of love,

Yunhyeong,’ read Chanwoo.

‘I'm going to find him. Can you go talk to other members and text me what Yunhyeong said in their letters?’ said Hanbin, turning on his heels.

Once Hanbin went out of their apartment block, he hailed a taxi and gave Yunhyeong’s home address to the driver. With a suitcase and such a weak body, Yunhyeong could not have gone anywhere other than back to his parents’ house. Hanbin had to bring Yunhyeong round and get him to believe the genuineness of his love as he knew that Yunhyeong needed him.

After paying the taxi driver and asking him to keep the change, Hanbin went up the front porch and pressed on the doorbell. After a while, a well-dressed lady, wearing a beautiful smile that reminded Hanbin of Yunhyeong, opened the door and welcomed Hanbin.

‘Ah Hanbin, you're here to see Yunhyeong, right? Can you do me a favour and help me to get him to eat? I've spent hours making him eat already, but he only ended up gagging at the sight of food,’ said Yunhyeong’s mum, frustrated and helpless.

‘Mum, who's that?’ asked a voice, coming from the stairwell.

‘Mum, I'm not seeing anyone today. Hanbin ah, go home,’ said Yunhyeong, running up the stairs, when he saw Hanbin.

‘Yunhyeong, can we please talk?’  shouted Hanbin.

‘I don't know what's wrong with that boy. I know he's going through a lot and I'm really thankful to you guys for being around him when he’s at his worst. Thankyou,’ said Yunhyeong’s mum.

‘Maybe come later. I'll try to talk him out of avoiding you guys,’ added Yunhyeong's mum.

‘Thanks, Auntie. I'll come back later tonight,’ replied Hanbin.

Hanbin was not going to give up. He was going to come back tonight to tell Yunhyeong about his truest feelings and get him to return to him. Nothing was going to stop Hanbin from following the course of his fate.

Today's moon was unusually bright. This reminded Hanbin of their first date where Yunhyeong and him went to the park near their dorm to stargaze. He could easily recall how beautiful and bright Yunhyeong's eyes looked in the moonlight. They were always glimmering and soulful. Whenever Hanbin looked into them, he felt like drowning, as they had the power to pull him him closer to Yunhyeong’s heart. And, now, he was going get closer than ever to Yunhyeong’s heart.

Hanbin picked up a pebble he saw lying on Yunhyeong's house's lawn and threw it against Yunhyeong's room's window.

‘Yunhyeong's old-school habits must have rubbed off on me,’ thought Hanbin.

‘Song Yunhyeong, open the window, please!’  shouted Hanbin, after throwing the pebble.

‘Hanbin, keep your voice down! My parents and sister are sleeping,’ replied Yunhyeong, who poked his head through the opening of the window.

‘Song Yunhyeong, stay there and listen to me!’ shouted Hanbin again, as he saw Yunhyeong shying away from the window frame.

‘You're so wrong about everything! I used to like Jaewon, but that was just a teenage thing. It was nothing special and hooking up with him was just because we were both on drugs. You're the one who has ever been in my heart. You're the only one and I'll never grow tired of telling you how much I love you! I'll do everything for you. I know that you've always wanted to tell your parents about us, but we never got round to doing it because I was scared. Now, I have the courage to go to your parents and introduce myself as your boyfriend, and even to bring you home, telling my mum and sister that you're the one I love and would like to tie the knot with, because of the confidence I have in us. You know what, Yang, we're not his slaves. We do what we want. If he ing gets in the way again, we'll quit and set up our own company. If he intimidates you once more, I'll crush him, if not, June would. Yunhyeongie, listen, don't underestimate your significance to me. You're my refuge, my one and only, and partner for life. So, please let me take care of you and be by your side. You're not a burden to me or us, and will never be,’ said Hanbin in a row, looking at Yunhyeong with sincerity.

‘Is Jinhwan hyung alright with that?’ asked Yunhyeong, hiding the smile that was starting to form on his face.

‘Yes, he's totally fine with it after reading the letter you gave to him and this time he is truly giving us his blessing,’ replied Hanbin.

‘So, what do you say, Yunhyeongie? Can I?’ asked Hanbin nervously, biting on his bottom lip.

‘Hanbinnie, come up, the back door’s not locked. The seven of us will face this together and thankyou for coming,’ said Yunhyeong, with tears streaked across his face, smiling happily.

As if on cue, the clouds parted, revealing the moon, which was full and bright, like the night where they first professed their love for each other, sealing their love with promises that were to be kept until death did them apart.

(Stop reading if you'd like this story to end happily)

‘Hanbin hyung, is this how you'd like me to sing this line?’ asked June.

‘Ah, can you sing the phrase ‘dwet-da’ in a  slightly harsher way?’ replied Hanbin, who had just been pulled out of a trance by June’s sudden question.

They were now in the process of recording their new comeback song ‘Love Scenario’ after a year of hiatus. That year was not easy for them, with Yunhyeong's sudden withdrawal from the group and Hanbin plunging into an endless emotional turmoil. The members could never understand why Hanbin never contacted Yunhyeong since Yunhyeong left. Hanbin just acted as if Yunhyeong had never existed; conversations with Hanbin no longer featured Yunhyeong and Yunhyeong’s name was not to be mentioned in Hanbin's presence. It was evident to them that Hanbin was not doing fine without Yunhyeong, but nothing they had done had been able to make him open up about his feelings and thoughts. They were only able to understand Hanbin through his songs and undoubtedly ‘Love Scenario’ was another one about Yunhyeong.

‘Is he okay? He has been spacing out for hours already,’ asked Donghyuk.

‘Leave him be. Thinking about what he could have done instead is his way to feel happier,’ answered Bobby, looking at Hanbin with pity.

Hanbin always thought about what could have happened if he went after Yunhyeong after he left. In his mind, there were multiple scenarios that could have happened. His favourite, by far, was him professing his love at night outside Yunhyeong's house, and Yunhyeong inviting him in after getting won over by his candid confession. To his disappointment, it never happened. He always blamed himself for being blinded by unreasonable anger towards Yunhyeong at that time, which led to him cutting Yunhyeong off completely after his departure. He knew that Yunhyeong had tried to reach him after that day, yet he never picked up his calls nor replied to his texts. Soon, Yunhyeong gave up and only kept in touch with the other members. There were also times when the others, usually Jinhwan, who wanted to set things right after what he had done, asked them to join their lunch or dinner gatherings with Yunhyeong, yet, Hanbin always refused to go and told them off for mentioning Yunhyeong. He did not know why the idea of Yunhyeong repelled him so much; Yunhyeong obviously still had a place in his heart, yet he could never envision interacting with Yunhyeong ever again. It was perhaps he did not have the courage to see the damage he had done to Yunhyeong. Having known Yunhyeong for so many years, he knew that Yunhyeong must have been in plight when he rejected his calls and decided to shun him completely. If Hanbin had to compare what Yunhyeong had become after the pain he had inflicted on him to something, Hanbin would say that Yunhyeong was a flower that he crushed and left to wilt. Hanbin wanted Yunhyeong, yet, he did not have the courage to beg him for forgiveness. The only way Hanbin could see Yunhyeong was through songs and imagination.

A familiar voice made Yunhyeong look up from his phone at the billboard hanging on one of Seoul's skyscrapers. It was Hanbin and the other five members being interviewed at MAMA in Hong Kong.

‘What do feel about Love Scenario being the song of the year?’ asked the interviewer.

‘It's definitely an honour to us and the work of many others. We are eternally grateful for our fans and others who continued supporting us after our long hiatus,’ answered Donghyuk.

‘Donghyukie is still as humble as before,’ thought Yunhyeong, with his lips forming a curve without him noticing.

‘So what inspired you to write this song, B.I-ssi?’ asked the interviewer.

‘It was based on personal experience. It's basically about a past relationship I had with someone. We loved deeply, yet a series of misunderstandings got in the way, leading to our breakup. I'm sorry, but it's kind of hard for me talk about it without opening the wound afresh,’ answered Hanbin, apologetically.

‘Let me change the subject. So, what would you say to the person, who you once shared a deep connection with, if you two did meet again?’ asked the interviewer.

‘I'm going to quote the song, ‘sarangeul haetta
uriga manna geugeomyeon dwaetda
neol saranghaetta’ (We loved, we met,  and that will do),’ replied Hanbin.

‘sarangeul haetta uriga manna geugeomyeon dwaetda neol saranghaetta,’ hummed Yunhyeong, while walking towards the hospital for his appointment, alone, once again.

Songs the characters represented:

Yunhyeong- Just Go

Hanbin- Jerk

Jinhwan- Hug me

June- Best Friend 

Lastly, thankyou so much for reading this fic. Your support is greatly appreciated. :)