Why did it feel like there was a million miles between them?

Yunho’s right there on the sofa, looking a bit worse for wear, but there all the same dosing away – his mouth hanging open, and his eyes ever so slightly peaking out from under his lids. Old habits die hard, and this seemed to be one of those that Yunho would never truly shake. Yet despite the wave of anxiety Jaejoong feels, it’s a sight that still manages to pull a wry smile to his lips, the surrounding area that had been worrying him before be damned.

But sweet scene aside, he realises that he’s not exactly going to get the answers he wants unless he wakes him – which is something he’s loath to do. A sense of ill foreboding tells him that it’s not the wisest of ideas; and judging from the volume of alcohol currently clogging up the room, he’s pretty inclined to follow that feeling.

He’s fully aware of Yunho’s darker side after all. The side that lent itself to drowning his sorrows in the bottom of a beer can. In fact, in the remaining days that Jaejoong had been in touch with him, he’d often found himself conversing with a not so sober Yunho, trying to gently coax him away from the stuff, and gently hinting that it wasn’t the best way to deal with things. Those conversations had never run smoothly, and most had ended in Yunho drunkenly swearing at him down the line, full of hate and anger towards him, and thoroughly resenting Jaejoong’s decision to leave. Of course, Jaejoong too, had responded all too quickly with his usual sassy remarks, more often than not issuing the threat to stop taking Yunho’s calls, and insinuating that it was Yunho who had driven them away, blaming his poor leadership skills for not managing to keep them all together.

Naturally, he’d come to regret those comments, ashamed at himself for reacting the way he had. Obviously, he’d chosen the worst of things to say. But being as close as he had been to Yunho, he’d been the master of pressing the wrong buttons. He’d always known what to say to hit the hardest, and in the heat of the moment he’d let his anger run away with him, hurt by the accusations, and wanting to strike back in the most painful of ways – and what better way to hurt Yunho than to press against his leadership insecurity, and pull it into question?

It had proved fatal, and after a few more ty calls passed between them, everything had seemed to abruptly grind to a halt with no warning. No more drunk calls, no more sober calls, not even a tipsy text.

He tried. He really tried; even after the bulk of the dust had settled with the lawsuit. But things had been different, and even though Jaejoong had begun to slowly mend the bonds between himself and other SM idols, his connection to Yunho, and Changmin, had never re-kindled itself. Even their shared friends outside the industry hadn’t been able to help, and Jaejoong had eventually convinced himself to stop trying, realising that pushing the issue was leading himself nowhere but back to heartache.

That being said. While those friends hadn’t necessarily helped out in reuniting them, they had offered some insight into what was going on from time to time. But those insights had never positive ones, and they’d often spoke of Yunho drowning his sorrows in alcohol, cigarettes, and spending lazy days inside the darkness of the dorms. They’d spoken of an unkept man, with greasy hair, and a beard that had long grown past the point of subtle stubble, with skin that was too pale, and sagged under his eyes in heavy bags. A man that didn’t see much of sleep, and when he did it was on the only on the condition that he passed out from too much drinking. A man that was a shadow of himself, one that wasn’t coping, and was silently crying out for help without even realising it. Help that he wasn’t getting.

The more he’d thought about it back then, the more it had pained him. He’d never seen it for himself, having been long thrown out of the dorms, but he thinks that it might have matched closely to the sight in front of him right now.

Which is exactly why he hesitates for so long, pondering his next move with due care. What was that old saying? Wake not a sleeping lion?

Although, this sleeping lion doesn’t seem to need even prompting. Almost as though triggered by the whirring of Jaejoong’s thoughts spinning around his head, a soft groan echoes through the room. Instinctively, he stops himself breathing, trying to remain as still as possible and wait the moment out. He wonders faintly if he should move back into the bedroom, not entirely eager to face Yunho just yet. He wants to at least get a better idea as to what was going on first.

However, he soon realises it’s too late, and with a sinking feeling in his stomach, he watches as Yunho lifts his head and promptly catches sight of him standing in the doorway.

A frown passes across his face, followed by a tired sigh that’s heavy from sleep. He then lifts an arm, and drapes it across his eyes, effectively blocking him out. For what, Jaejoong has no idea, and he’s briefly left wondering if he should perhaps be annoyed at such a rude gesture. Surely, he’s not that much of an unpleasant sight first thing in the morning – if it even was morning that is.

“You’re back then?” Yunho asks him, not at all sounding pleased about the fact, and still hiding his eyes under his arm.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Jaejoong asks before he can stop himself, only belatedly realising a moment later that he could perhaps have had a schedule that had kept him otherwise occupied.

He didn’t after all even know if the group was still in one piece still. Perhaps he’d been busy with a JYJ schedule, or even solo promotions. If anything, all Yunho’s question had really confirmed was the possibility that Yunho, and he, still lived together.

“You tell me.” Yunho replies with a sigh, rolling over onto his side. “You seem to spend most of your time as far away from here as you can these days, off out galivanting with your so-called friends. So, forgive me and my curiosity.”

Yunho’s sharp tone stirs a burn of nerves in his stomach, and he fast feels the air between them become thick with the tension of a rapidly brewing argument. It’s something he wants to avoid if he can. He knows next to nothing about this future after all, and going headfirst into a slanging match with Yunho right now would probably cost him. He doesn’t like the idea of playing without a full deck.

“Well, I’m back now.” He says carefully, offering a hesitant smile to test the waters as he steps forward. “So, if-”

“You ought to watch yourself. If you’re not careful, we’ll have another scandal on our hands again.” Yunho tells him crisply, lifting his head only to give him a dark look, one that has Jaejoong pausing in his tracks.

Scandal?

“What are you talking about?” He can only ask, brows furrowing.

“They’re not from SM, are they?” Yunho ploughs on, refusing to look at him as his voice takes on a more casual tone.

“Who?” Jaejoong questions, watching Yunho with a wary look.

Why did this situation feel so tense? He can only guess they’d had an argument prior to him being dropped within this world. It’s the only explanation he can think of for as to why Yunho won’t quite meet his eye, and judging from that it had to have been a pretty explosive one.

“Whoever you were with last night!” Yunho snaps out of nowhere, pushing himself to sit up, a nasty looking glare rippling across his features.

Jaejoong takes a swift step back at that, eager to draw some distance between them. Despite being all too familiar with Yunho’s anger, he can’t exactly say he’s confident with dealing with this version of him – especially when he’s tossing around words like ‘scandal’. Still, from the sounds of it, it seemed like it would be wise to admit that the people he’d supposedly been with hanging out with last night were not from SM – it was better to tell the truth than lie at this point. He gathers from the tone of Yunho’s voice that whoever these people were, they’re not ones that he’s particularly fond of; and that leaves him thinking that the chances of them being of SM origin are considerably slim. Yunho was after all usually rather fond of those affiliated with SM – idol wise anyway.

“They’re not.” He says firmly, eyeing Yunho’s reaction carefully for any signs of change.

Thankfully there is none, and Yunho simply nods at him, lying back down, and turning his head to the side.

“Good. Wouldn’t want them stirring things up and leaking fake scandals to the press again.” He mutters darkly. “I think we’ve had enough bad press to last us a lifetime.”

At that Jaejoong frowns, desperately trying to read between the lines of what Yunho’s saying. SM had caused a scandal concerning them, when he didn’t know, but Yunho was clearly still bitter about it. But if SM were the ones who’d released the scandal, then chances were that they were in bad books with them. Did that mean that they were no longer working under SM? Surely if they were, then SM wouldn’t have allowed this scandal to leak, right? They would have pulled the plug and paid off any media outlets that were trying to put the story out there.

So, did that mean that they weren’t with SM anymore?

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” Jaejoong jokes, a rather hopeful attempt at lightening the sour air in the room.

He remembers the pains of so called scandals. It had happened many a time to him in the past. The drink driving scandal of 2006, the catastrophe that was the news of him being an adopted child which had followed later that year, and the outcry after he apparently assaulted a sasaeng fan in 2012. He doesn’t even want to think about how many times dating rumours had emerged, and then the obvious fall out of the split that had just about ended everything.

The point was, he’d survived them before, and he was sure that whatever had happened now was something that he could survive also.

“Not that bad?” Yunho asks, sitting up once more to shoot Jaejoong one of the most venomous looks he’s ever been on the receiving end of.

immediately he knows he’s said the wrong thing. It certainly doesn’t take a genius to work that one out. Even without looking at him, Jaejoong can tell. There’s a particularly nasty bite to his voice that he’d only ever heard him use twice.

“You’re telling me that the fact that this scandal has caused us to be cast out from the music industry isn’t that bad?” Yunho murmurs quietly, rising from the sofa slowly. “Or the fact that our friends and family can no longer even leave their houses without being bombarded by the press with questions about how we’re living in sin?!” He continues to rant, finally lifting his head, eyes narrowed, and so full of seething anger that feels like a punch to gut when they lock onto him. “Or worst of all Jaejoong, are you telling me that the fact that my family has disowned me, their only son, isn’t that bad!”

Utterly floored, Jaejoong parts his lips, willing an apology to pass them. Yet, nothing comes through, and he’s left standing rather uselessly as Yunho grits his teeth in anger and turns away.

“I need another drink.” He comments sourly, shuffling over to the kitchen, and wrenching open the fridge.

At this point it doesn’t feel like much of a surprise that the entire fridge is lined with bottles, and cans of alcohol. He can see various brands from where he’s standing, an abundance of the ones that Yunho favoured lined up pride of centre on the shelf. His heart aches as he watches him reach for a fresh bottle, and he bites his lip before mustering up the courage to speak.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” He asks, keeping his tone light, and almost humorous as the question hangs in the air like a prime piece of bait.

He just hopes his intentions aren't ill received. After all, he’s not trying to pick a fight. He just can’t stand the way his inside burn with a painful chill as Yunho breaks off the cap.

“What do you care?” Yunho mutters, taking a long swig of his drink, not even glancing up to look at Jaejoong. “Besides, it’s not like you’ll be here later anyway is it?”

“I don’t have any plans.” Jaejoong tells him quickly.

Obviously, he doesn’t know if that’s the truth or not. But it doesn’t matter. No matter what plans they were, whatever it was, and whoever they were with, they could wait. Right now, the situation between them seemed much more pressing.

“Well there’s a surprise.” Yunho says with a casual air, leaning back against the countertop, his back still firmly to Jaejoong. “I would have thought you’d be off out again, ever eager to gossip to your friends about how hard done to you are. I’m sure they’d be more than happy to console you.”

For a brief moment, just a fraction of a second, he feels a flicker of a familiar spark of anger. The same anger which had used to carry him through many a heated argument with Yunho in the past, causing him to lash out nasty insults. The same anger that had used to trigger right after Yunho made sweeping comments about him going off with his friends, and sniping remarks cast as slight suggestions of him sleeping about with them.

He’d come to learn that Yunho didn’t mean it. Just like he hadn’t meant the things he’d said. It all came down to heat of the moment madness, and quick criticisms with the intention to hurt.

Perhaps that had always been the problem. They knew how to hurt each other too well. All too clued up on what would hurt the other most to hear.

Which is why, he bites his tongue, all too aware of their past mistakes. He cools himself off in the silence that follows Yunho’s words, and sighs.

“Whatever it is you’re thinking I’m up to, I can assure you isn’t happening.” He says calmly. “You should know more than anyone that I love you.”

He watches Yunho stiffen for a moment, and then turn to glance at him in surprise, a crooked eyebrow raised in question. Naturally, he can’t help but wonder why. Was it not something he said often anymore? Could there really be a world where he didn’t take every chance he could to tell him how much he loved him?

“You’re sure acting odd.” Yunho mutters. “Normally you’d bite my head off for even hinting that you might be sleeping with one of those morons you hang around with.”

“Do you want me to rip your head off for it? Is that what you’re wanting me to do” Jaejoong asks him, arching an eyebrow.

Wasn’t it him who had used to incite these petty fights? His jealously had often sparked then during their youth. While Yunho preferred to act on his green-eyed monster, Jaejoong had leant more towards bottling up his jealously, letting it build and fester until they were back behind the safety of closed doors. More often than not choosing to point blank ignore Yunho in the meantime, and then purposely hash it out with him later until Yunho caught on to what he was doing; which would then inevitably lead to him caving in and whispering gentle reassurances of their relationship.

So, to now have Yunho playing his previous petty princess role, and have it him was rather jarring.

“I don’t know Jaejoong!” Yunho explodes suddenly. “I don’t even know what we’re doing anymore!” He admits, bringing up his free hand, and running it through his hair in a rather stressed rush of movement. “I don’t even know why we’re together anymore. Is it just because that’s what people now assume to be true? I mean, they obviously do - because of the scandal. But are we just staying together because of that? Because it can’t be down to making each other happy – because we sure as hell both know that’s not true anymore...”

If his heart could really break, then he assumes that this would definitely be the moment it did. But it doesn’t, because he still manages to let go of the shaky breath he’d been holding, letting it spill from his lips, eyes clouding with a film of tears. He tries to keep them at bay, biting his lip to stop them from falling, and glancing away from Yunho’s hunched frame to gather himself for a moment. He knows if he really does cy then it’s over.

“You don’t mean that.” He hears himself murmur, and wraps his arms around himself for comfort.

“Don’t I?” Yunho snaps. “Don’t tell me that you really believe that we’re staying together for us! If anything, it’s for the group, right? To give meaning to everything that’s happened. To give them the sense that all this suffering, all this heartache, and the mess of being dragged through the media like cheap circus entertainment isn’t for nothing! That’s the reason isn’t it?! Let’s not pretend that there’s any love left between us anymore, how can there be? It’s just convenience.”  

The room screams silence back at them again, leaving Jaejoong standing there dumbstruck, and Yunho heaving an angry breath. A thin trickle of hurt begins to leak into him, and when he swallows he feels a lump of emotion lodged within his throat. Suddenly he wishes he could just slide back into his old ways of resorting to anger to cover the hurt. But the years had not been kind to him, and they’d slowly worn down the mighty walls he used to throw up in defence of his fragile soul, leaving them as nothing more than a pile of crumbling bricks. These days it was far too easy to piece his armour.

“Do you really feel that way?” He asks in a small voice, listening as it cracks around the words, a cold, numbing sensation washing over him.

It doesn’t feel the same as when they used to argue. This is something else. Something on a whole different level.

He watches Yunho draw back, now looking perturbed, almost like he hadn’t been expecting the reaction that Jaejoong had given; almost like he’d been expecting more.

“Yes.” He says, pausing to assess Jaejoong with unsure curiosity. “Yeah, I do.” He admits, looking back down to his drink.

Jaejoong nods a couple of times, trying to desperately wrap his head around the situation. He doesn’t know how to proceed with this, nor what to say to Yunho’s sudden emotional revelation. In truth he doesn’t really know if he’s meant to say anything. What was Yunho expecting him to say? He knew that in the past he’d often made sweeping declarations. Not because he was particularly wanting a response, or action to be taken, but more because he just wanted people to know how he felt about a particular subject. Often Jaejoong had just nodded, or at least made some kind of gesture to make it known that he’d digested what he’d said and would carry on. It had always been sufficient, and Yunho had never demanded more than that.

But this... This felt different.

“Okay.” He says, nodding his head once more. “So where does that leave us?”

“I don’t know Jaejoong!” Yunho rages again, slamming down his beer bottle with enough force to send a sharp crack resounding through the apartment.

He’s silent once more, maybe thinking, maybe wait for Jaejoong to give him the answer. But just as Jaejoong goes to say something, anything to clear away the sound of silence, he turns back to him once more, his tall form leaning over the countertop.

“I don’t... I don’t think it does.” Yunho admits hopelessly.

“What?” Jaejoong pushes, drawing back a little further in shock.

Yunho lifts his head, and looks over his shoulder at Jaejoong, eyes now glossing with a mournful sheen as he flicks his gaze off to the side.

“I don’t think this leaves us anywhere.” He says sadly, shoulders slumping. “I don’t think we should be together anymore. It’s not doing either of us any good. We make each other miserable, and it’s pushing the group to breaking poi-”

Yunho stops suddenly, and sighs, as though having suddenly realised something.

“No, I think the group’s past that now.” He then admits. “I think it’s over for both sides. For you and me. For the group. There’s just... There’s just no point anymore. We’ve put off the inevitable for too long - it’s over Jae.” He announces, this time seeming to have the courage to face him directly.

But there are no tears on his face. Not like Jaejoong, who has them streaming down his face silently, eyes furiously trying to blink them back to save face. It’s impossible though, and they keep coming like a fast-flowing river of continuous anguish.

“We can’t!” He says, the words loud, but strained within the tight clutches of his sorrow. “We’ve survived this long! We can’t jus-”

“That’s exactly why!” Yunho hisses, cutting Jaejoong out before he can even begin to fight for them. “It’s all been for nothing. We can’t return to the industry anymore. I can’t return home anymore. I can’t even… We can’t even…”

“We can!” Jaejoong pushes, now desperate, his eyes wide and pleading against the stone wall that Yunho had seeming become before him.

But it’s like striking a brick wall over and again with his bare hands – pointless, and painful. Yunho gives him nothing. Nothing but a long-suffering look that tells Jaejoong that they’d been here before, having had this conversation countless times.

“We can't Jaejoongie.”

Its perhaps that name, the one that Yunho had used to throw out like candy so blatantly during interviews, and TV appearances. The way he’d once spoken it with such tenderness that a burst of giddiness had often arose upon hearing it. But now it just feels sad, and Yunho sounds tired as he says it. The affection that had once come with that name had seemingly long dried up and turned into something bitter.

It’s a punch in the gut, the final nail in the coffin. Yunho really didn’t want to be with him anymore, and not because of an impending lawsuit, or the threat of being ripped apart, or even due to being lost within the throws of blind anger. No, this time it was his own decision, perhaps one he’d been pondering for quite some time. Which surprisingly hurts more than he ever thought it would. He’d figured that enough time had passed since actually being in a relationship with Yunho, to the point that things like this would not longer hurt to hear. But even now, he feels a cold burn churning in his stomach, the urge the run away screaming through his veins like a primal warning.

He caves, turning away from Yunho just so he won’t have to see the pitying look he’s being sent.

“Surely you knew this was coming?” Yunho asks him desperately, voice but a whisper to his ears.

Of course he didn’t. How could he have known the outcome of his actions? He’d hoped that things would be better this time, he’d believed they’d be better this time, he’d even for the first time in a while felt like there was a bright future waiting for them. But he’d been wrong, very wrong, and things had once more turned sour.

“I didn’t think things would turn out like this.” He says, hunching in on himself, feeling the urge to make himself as small as possible.

“Yeah, well....” Yunho only responds, sounding reluctant abruptly. “I’ll...I'll stay with friends tonight. We can talk about this tomorrow when we meet up with the others, ok?”

“You’re leaving?” Jaejoong chokes, head darting up suddenly to stare at him in horror.

“Well, I don’t think I should stay. Nothing good will come of that.” Yunho says, walking towards him slowly, and then quickly past him into the bedroom.

“Wait! You really don’t have to. If you want, I can go...” Jaejoong argues, rushing in after him, now frantic as he attempts to stop what Yunho was now calling the inevitable.

“No, I think you’ve been out enough, don’t you?” Yunho says, once more giving him an odd look, like he hadn’t quite been expecting him to offer.

He wants to deny that, but he stops himself, knowing that he can’t really. Instead he watches in dismay as Yunho steadily puts a bag together. It doesn’t look like an overnight bag, and his stomach starts to churn as he sees more, and more, clothes being hurled into it. He’s not planning on coming back anytime soon.

A childish urge to start taking the clothes back out rises as Yunho goes into the ensuite bathroom to grab his toothbrush, and toiletries. He’d done it in the past one time when Yunho had gone back home over the holidays to see his family. But back then Yunho had laughed, called him cute, and proceeded to press kisses to his cheeks. He doesn’t think his actions would garner the same result now.

“I’m surprised.” Yunho says honestly, his hands moving quickly to zip the last of his things up. “I didn’t think you’d take this quite so well.”

“This is me taking it well?” Jaejoong asks miserably from where he’s sat at the top of the bed, arms still folded around his waist in self-pity.

“Well you’re not screaming bloody murder at me, and you’re not seething to point of blatantly ignoring me. So, yeah, I’d say you’re taking it well.” Yunho explains, heaving his bag off the bed, and dropping it gently down to the floor. “Its... A little strange really.”

If he thinks about it, really thinks about it, then he supposes it makes sense. The separation had forced him to grow as a person, to no longer cling to Yunho, and the safety of their relationship. He realised a lot of things thanks to it, had grown a lot from it, and with that growth acquired a deeper appreciation for so many things. Parts of him had forever changed, including his personality. He’d realised that crying wasn’t a sign of weakness, he’d stomped down on his jealous outbursts, realising that he didn’t have the luxury of being able to bite Yunho’s ear off about things anymore when they upset him. The whole thing had seen him come out on the other side a more mature person.

So, he supposes that without it he would still act how he always had, which was probably why Yunho was so surprised.

“I suppose so.” He admits, moving to play with his hands nervously.

Yunho laughs at his reaction, probably finding him cute despite the situation. The sounds surprises him, and he looks up to find himself the object of his gaze. There’s a fond look directed at him, one he can’t quite fully decipher. He’d never been a big believer in being able to tell exactly what a person was thinking just by looking at their eyes. But if he had been, he’d hope that there was maybe still a drop of love there.

“Better be off then.” Yunho tells him, his head slightly inclined towards the door, and Jaejoong wonders whether he too thinks that the distance towards it is suddenly a million miles away.

“Will you be ok? Where will you go?” He asks belatedly, rising to stand all the same.

“One of the guys will put me up I’m sure.” Yunho tells him, sounding confident.

Jaejoong doesn’t dare ask for clarification on who Yunho means. He only nods slowly and starts to follow him out.

He hadn’t been wrong about the distance either, it feels like they walk for miles until they reach the door. But once there there’s an awkward moment where Jaejoong swears that for just a moment Yunho almost goes to kiss him. He sees him pause, half in and half out the door, and his body turns back towards him, head slightly bend down. He leans in, for the briefest of moments, but then stops, as though realising what he’d been about to do it, and pulls back. He can’t lie, it had hurt to see him stop himself.

“I’ll... See you tomorrow.” Yunho mumbles at him, a stiff look taking a hold of him before he sighs. “Just.... Take care of yourself, ok?” He asks, not quite meeting Jaejoong’s eyes as he says it.

Jaejoong wants to say something, maybe ask him to stay, or clump together a cluster of reasons as to why this isn’t the answer. But he can’t, the serious expression on Yunho’s face stops him dead, and the words he wants to give die on his tongue.

So, he doesn’t say anything. He lets Yunho go after an awkward moment of lingering, in which Yunho watches him with that same odd look from before. He watches him walk down the hall, and then keeps watching him until he disappears from his sight altogether. It’s tough, and he has to push down a wave of pressure that threatens to consume him. All the while his thoughts of failure keep him company, churring round and round on how he’s made more wrong decisions that had led to nowhere but misery.

In a rush, he yanks the door shut, and swiftly locks it behind him, whirling around to lean against the solid surface, and take a breather.

“Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!” He tells himself furiously, swallowing down his emotions. “No more crying.”

He wants to get away from this place, away from this time.

Before when this had happened, meaning his travels into the future, it had all seemed to reset once he’d gone to bed. Each time he put his head to his pillow he’d end up somewhere new. It seemed reasonable to think that it would happen again.

Hurriedly, He retraces his steps back to the bedroom, and pulls a hopeless expression at the sight of the many open drawers that Yunho had be rummaging through while packing. It can wait, he decides, and moves back over to the bed he’d awoken feeling so positive in.

However, he pauses suddenly as he passes the dresser.

It strikes him abruptly that unlike the last future he’d been to that there’s a glaring difference. In this future there’s no photos left out. There had been so many in the future of JY4. Granted, it hadn’t all been smiles, and roses. But they’d been happy enough to have forever frozen moments of their life scattered about every available surface.

It suddenly drives home the fact that there really was no love left here.

The dismal thought now planted, he goes to glance down at the floor sadly. Yet, another thing catches his gaze, and he frowns as he takes in a crumpled piece of what looks to be a newspaper clipping. It’s rolled into a ball, and tucked away into the corner of the top dresser drawer that Yunho had left wide open.

Curiosity takes a hold of him, and he reaches down to grab it, smoothing it out on the dresser top carefully.

Shock hits him like a freight train as he stares down wide eyed at the words printed before him in bold block letters:

TVXQ’S JUNG YUNHO AND KIM JAEJOONG REVEALED TO BE DATING

He doesn’t remember going to sleep.

-X-

“I know you won’t agree with me. Honestly, Jaejoongie! You’re so stubborn when you want to be! But… I think, I think it was a mistake to leave…”

-X-

Everything is glowing with a stark white gleam. The lights are bright overhead, and it’s painful to look at them. His body aches. It feels heavy. Everything’s so fuzzy. He can’t think properly.

Where is he?

“Jaejoong? Are you awake?” A voice asks, one that sounds as tired as he feels.

There’s a hand within his, one that’s gently rubbing circles against the back of his skin in slow motions.

He… He knows that voice, right? At least he thinks he does? His mind struggles in a painful reach to focus for a moment and make the connection that he needs.

Wait, of course he does! That’s Yunho’s voice… Right?

“Ah, there you are.” The voice, Yunho, says again, and Jaejoong watches as his handsome face comes into view, hovering above him with a smile as soft as cotton sheets. “You’ve been sleeping for a while, I thought you were going to pull a sleeping beauty on me for a moment!” He laughs, and Jaejoong turns his head, watching as he goes to sit down in what looks to be an incredibly uncomfortable plastic chair set out to the side of him.

Was he… He was in hospital? Oh God. What had happened to him now?

“I bet you’d like that though, right? Sleeping for a hundred years I mean?” Yunho carries on, apparently not minding that Jaejoong wasn’t replying – which he supposes makes a change to his usual chatterbox self. “Or maybe not. I bet you’d just rather be home at this point…”

He’s finding it hard to keep up with what Yunho’s telling him, his mind feeling as though it was clogged with cotton wool, and only half grasping the words being spoken to him. Something’s clearly not right with him. Which he guesses makes sense, considering that he’s apparently in hospital.

“Oh, sorry!” Yunho then says suddenly, his head jerking up to look at him wide eyed. “Do you want a glass of water?” He asks, moving to stand back up once more from where he’d only just sat down.

His throat does feel dry though, at least, that’s what he thinks it might be. So, he tries to nod, his vision clouding for a moment as he does, and his effort is rewarded with a rather sad smile.

“I’ll be right back. They took the water pitcher a while ago while you were still sleeping.” Yunho tells him, turning to leave. “One second.”

He tries to follow Yunho’s movements, desperately struggling to lift his head. But he finds that his attempt leaves him drained, and his body falls limp from the very little exertion he’d made. He sighs, eyes hanging heavy. Why was it so difficult?

“Here we go!” Yunho’s voice rings out, and Jaejoong lets his head drop to the side to see him back once more, this time with a pitcher full of water, and a single plastic cup. “Do you want to try and get up?” He asked, sounding oddly hopeful.

Yes, yes, he does. He just hopes that Yunho will help him with the task. Because right now, this body wasn’t going anywhere with his weak solo effort.

He’s not disappointed. Yunho moves quickly to support him, mostly doing all the work to heave him up. He doesn’t particularly enjoy the experience, and he feels incredibly needy for requiring the help for such a simple task. Normally being manhandled by Yunho was… Well a lot more y, and he always enjoyed the trill of it. But this, this doesn’t garner the same results. Especially when Yunho fusses about setting the bed to the right incline so as he can sit up comfortably. It was one thing when Yunho was doing it because Jaejoong was deliberately being a brat, and wanting the fuss, and another thing completely when he had no say in the matter.

But, it gets worse.

Yunho reaches for the pitcher, carefully pouring out a modest amount into the plastic cup. Jaejoong watches him do it, mouth watering at the idea of finally getting a drink. He finds himself eager, and goes to move a hand out for it. But his body fails, and his arm falls limp after just about managing to lift it from the bedsheets.

Of course Yunho notices. It would have been a wonder in itself if he didn’t. He laughs, and it sounds a little strained.

“What are you doing?” He asks, smiling at him with too much force. “You don’t need to do that. I can get it for you. Do you not trust me to take care of you? Even after doing it for all these years?”

Years?

“Here we go. Don’t drink it all at once, ok? We don’t want you being sick.”

As instructed, he takes slow sips. Yunho holds the cup steady to his lips, face painted with a fond look. It’s semi worth the helplessness he feels at not being able to do it himself. He manages to drink it all down, but finds that while his throat no longer feels like sandpaper, he’s still just as lethargic as before.

“Do you need any painkillers yet?” Yunho asks him, setting down the cup once more, and fixing him with a look of concern that makes him want to reach out and touch him. “I know you just woke up, but you’ve not had any for a while so if you need then-”

He makes a face, one that he hopes Yunho understands as “no” – which, he must, because a smile blooms in place of the previous concern that had been fast taking over. There’s a smile there now. A smile that’s so pretty, and fits so perfectly, that it begins to pull a smile to his face too. So, he tries to lift his head again, arm aching at the strain. Yunho notices the movement, and immediately moves to cradle it within his own hands.

Something about the action brings a sad look crashing back across Yunho’s face. He frowns, wondering just what had caused it.

“I’m sorry.” Yunho whispers suddenly, leaning down to press a kiss to his skin. “I... I spoke to them again; about letting me bring you home.”

Home? The idea of going sounds so good to him. He longs to lounge about his own apartment. Or even cook up a good meal in his kitchen. The longer he’s away, the more he begins to miss the simple things.

He wonders if his longing is beginning to show on his face. Because as he glances to look back at Yunho, he can see the beginnings of a teary-eyed expression blossoming.

“I tried. But… They said I couldn’t.”

His voice cracks a little over the words, and Jaejoong watches with a growing sense of unease seeping through him. He brings a hand up, and slowly stokes it down Yunho’s cheek. He can tell that he’s trying to ground himself. Trying to stop his emotions from leaking through.

“They keep saying you’re getting weaker, and weaker, these days. But I don’t believe it. I’m sure that you’ll beat this. You’ll prove them wrong, and you’ll be back home in no time. I’ll take care you, just like always, and we’ll go and see the fireworks like we did last year, ok? We’ll see them for sure.”

Jaejoong doesn’t feel the words are being aimed at him anymore. It sounds more like Yunho’s trying to convince himself more than anything. But it’s not like he can say it. His brain won’t co-operate with him, and he ends up just letting out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

He’s just so tired, and he idly wonders just how long he’s been here lying like this. Yunho says he’ll take care of him like always. Did that mean he’d been ill for a while?

Was he dying?

It certainly felt that way. What with Yunho making the comment about him getting weaker. Did that mean that time was running out for them in this world?

If so, then that made Yunho’s words even more heart wrenching.

“Ah, you don’t need to worry about that though.” Yunho smiles, his hand squeezing his a little tighter. “You just need to rest and get better. I’ll wait, I’ll keep waiting – no matter how long it takes.”

Jaejoong believes him.

Even as he struggles with the heaviness of his eyes, the call of sleep whispering so sweetly to him. He believes in those words spoken with such conviction. Even when a burst of pain flares through his body, and his eyes snap back open once again. Even as the sound of furious beeping erupts from somewhere beside him. Even as the room explodes with pounding footsteps, and hurried voices bouncing off instructions.

But most of all when Yunho calls out to him, with darkness clouding his view, his voice still carrying over everything else – as it always had.

“Don’t you dare leave me Jaejoong! I’ll wait here for you – don’t go off on your own!”

He wishes he could call back to him. Wishes he could promise to come right back to him.

But he realises that he can’t make those kind of promises anymore.

-X-

There’s no screaming this time. Only the sound of ringing somewhere close to his head, and rush of nostalgia that comes crashing over him as he listens to the familiar blaring sound.

If his memory served correctly, that was the sound of his old alarm. A loud, electronic beeping that hadn’t aged well, but had been the best of 4 options his phone offered at the time. Loud enough to wake him from the rare dead sleeps he sometimes experienced, and the least obnoxious of his limited selection. God, how he didn’t miss it.

He quickly realises the awful sound would probably wake everyone within a 10 miles radius if he didn’t switch it off, and he wearily reaches for the device, jamming his fingers to every available button in a hopeful attempt to shut off the noise. He figures one of them must have been the winner, as the noise stops abruptly after a moment of blindly fumbling with the device.

Mission accomplished, he slides off the bed, shuddering as the memory of the last time he’d been awake still haunts him. He he’d rather avoid being in bed for a while.

He quickly checks that Yoochun is still sound sleep with a quick glance to the bed across him. His bandmate is, as expected, still knocked out cold, and he smiles at the sight, making his way out of the room, ensuring to pull the door shut behind him gently.

He already knows he’s back in the past again. That much was now obvious to him. For some unexplained reason he seemed to keep coming back here again, and again. Not only that, but he seemed to be returning to the same day each time. There had to be a reason for it. There was just no way it was pure coincidence.

The day of the first argument. The day that had changed everything.

Was he supposed to do something here? He’d been trying. But was he simple getting it wrong each time, and then repeatedly being given chance after chance to try again? He supposed that would make sense. Kind of? In a K-Drama sort of way.

What was also beginning to make sense, however, was the idea of all of this being real. His mind was slowly beginning to believe that. What with the realness of the whole thing, and accuracy of what he was experiencing. How could it not be? Even in his wildest dreams his mind could never think to imagine all of this; as creative as he was.

So, if he really was being given this chance, then he had to make the most of it. Which meant resorting to some pretty drastic measures.

He moves to stand by the window, lip pulled between his teeth as he stares out across the city below thoughtfully.

His next move wasn’t exactly one that he wanted to go through with. It was one that would mean turning his back on everything he’d suffered through since the original decision to leave SM. He would be betraying the very blood, sweat, and tears that Yoochun, Junsu, and himself had sacrificed for the sake of their careers. An act that would pretty much besmirch the JYJ name, and everything they’d stood up and believed in.

However, after going through the last sequence of what Yunho had done for him. Sitting there for an undetermined amount of time while Jaejoong had apparently gotten sicker, and sicker, before his very eyes…  Well, he wondered if perhaps some things were worth a shot. If maybe this was the right thing to do, or at least try. Because leaving SM had obviously not worked out so well.

But if he did go through with this, then they wouldn’t have to struggle, and the previous emotional scars would no longer be there. Not only that, but they’d all remain together, and should things get worse, then they’d still have each other to lean on. There would be no struggling alone. No being ousted from the industry, and no being left to crawl on their bellies for opportunities.

That being said, it was hardly going to be easy.

He sighs, closing his eyes, and taking a deep breath.

One step at a time.

There’s something unnerving about living through the photoshoot for a fourth time.

It’s not like it was particularly memorable from the first time round. However, having now done it three times already, he’s got a good idea of what will be happening, and finds himself being able to semi guess each move before being asked to position himself. It freaks the photographers out the first couple of times he does it, and they pause for a moment, lowing their cameras to give him varying puzzled looks before continuing. He tries to make it seem as natural as he can, acting as though he were doing it subconsciously, but he knows that no matter how innocent he tries to play it that it must seem odd.

s don’t share the same wonder. Instead they merely call encouraging words to him, like they always did each other, clapping their hands together like seals, and laughing when Jaejoong shoots them dark looks over his shoulder.

“We’re going for a modern, rather chic look for the first few sets.” One of the staff members says, moving rather frantically about the set with a folder full of concept pictures. “Then we’ll move onto a softer look, lots of baggy, loose fitting clothing – browns, beiges, natural colours!”

Jaejoong mimics them behind their back, mouthing the words right along with them, and causing Changmin to raise an eyebrow in question at him as Jaejoong walks back towards the stylists. He argues with the little sense he has left that he’s doing it to keep himself entertained, that keep himself sane. Because he’s really going to need it with what’s coming next…

“Time to bite the bullet!” He thinks to himself as he takes his next bundle of clothing from their stylist.

Just as before, he finds Yoochun in the make-shift changing room, slowly peeling back his clothes and replacing them with the hand selected ones.

“Already done?” He asks him, whistling in approval as Yoochun gives him a quick turn, before posing ridiculously.

“Yeah, I think I actually like it for a change.” Yoochun laughs, glancing down to inspect the outfit himself. “Not too outlandish, but stylish enough to stand out just a little.”

Jaejoong nods in agreement, chuckling to himself at the at the familiar words, and begins shrugging off his clothes, and dropping them into a small pile. Again, just as before, Yoochun hovers awkwardly, shuffling from side to side with that pensive look on his face. Jaejoong waits for a moment, making sure he’s dressed, before pointedly looking at him.

“You okay?” He then says, bundling his old clothes up neatly.

“Oh, yeah!” Yoochun confirms, a little too fast. “It’s just... Well I was thinking about what we talked about the other day.”

“Oh?” Jaejoong says, trying to sound intrigued, as he begins to run through what he’s going to say in his head.

“Yeah, about our future, I mean.” Yoochun explains. “I was thinking that now might be a good time to sit down with the others and talk about it. I mean I was talking with Junsu the other day, and he seems to think-”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it too.” Jaejoong interjects, offering an apologetic look for interrupting so suddenly. “I know that before I was all for it - and part of me still is!” He says quickly after catching Yoochun’s expression twist into a befuddled look. “It’s just, well, I’m not entirely sure anymore.”

“What are you saying?!” Yoochun asks loudly, his voice prickling with anger, as he shoots Jaejoong a stormy look. “You were all for it before! You were agreeing with me about everything! From the unfairness of our schedules, to not being paid for the hard work we’re putting in! Even the lack of holidays! What’s changed? I don’t understand!”

Jaejoong lets him have his moment, knowing that what he was saying was bound to come as a sudden 360 from Yoochun’s point of view; and knowing that he was bound to be annoyed at him for suddenly defecting. So, he stays quiet, letting him stew, and plots out his next words carefully.

“I wasn’t lying before when I was agreeing with you. I did, and still do agree with you.” He explains, holding up a hand when Yoochun goes to speak again. “But, I just think we need to wait it out. Yunho is not going to take well to the idea of leaving, and I really think we’d be in a much stronger position if we stayed together. Which I know won’t happen if we steam ahead with the idea of leaving.”

“But I’m sure you could speak with him and-”

“No Yoochun.” Jaejoong sighs, folding his arms across his chest, and furrowing his eyebrows sadly. “You already know how protective Yunho is of the group’s name. I think it all stems back from the whole ‘Four Seasons’ thing – you know about how that fell through right? The group that Yunho, Heechul, Kangin, and me were supposed to debut with? I think he’s scared of that happening with us. He’d never dare to do anything that would threaten the collapse of TVXQ – he cares too much to let it happen. I can promise you. He won’t challenge SM.”

“You say that! But we’re not happy are we, and things are only going to get worse! There’s no freedom Jae! They hardly give us any kind of input, and yet they expect us to work under suffocating conditions like their own person puppets. It’s not right!” Yoochun rants angrily, his voice beginning to rise past the point of discreet, and Jaejoong glances toward the door of the dressing room anxiously.

“Yoochun!” He hisses, jerking his eyes in a warning gesture towards the door, and frowning as Yoochun draws back in realisation. “Look, it’s all well and good that you want to leave, and yes, if we could get away with it, then I would be all up for following right behind you.” He tells him quietly. “But think about it. Say we do march right into SM and tell them we’ve had enough and that we’re leaving. Then what? The first thing they’ll do is draw up plans to make us suffer as much as legally possible; that is, after they’re done laughing us out the building. Just think about the influence they have. They could practically erase us from the industry if they really wanted to – you know they could. Don’t even get me started on the potential lawsuit they could drag us though…”

Yoochun stays quiet, clearly trying to take in everything that Jaejoong’s saying. He seems to mull it over, face twisting thoughtfully. Then a disgruntled look of agreement begins to surface, one that speaks of potential defeat, and he crosses his arms across his chest defensively, face scrunching into a frown.

“You really have been thinking about this haven’t you?” He mutters, more to the floor than Jaejoong himself, and the later laughs humourlessly.

“Well, you gave me a lot think about.” Jaejoong comments dryly, and then sighs long-sufferingly when he catches sight of the defeated look on Yoochun’s face. “I really do agree with you Yoochun. About the way were being treated, and the conditions we’re working under – everything. But… I just don’t think this is the way to fight it. I don’t want to risk what we have. I don’t want to risk you guys, and what we have.”

“No.” Yoochun says, dropping his arms back to his sides. “You’re right. Perhaps it’s too hasty. Maybe it would be better to leave it a while longer. It’s not like I want to throw all this away either. I’m just… Frustrated.”

“I know.” Jaejoong tells him sympathetically, offering him an empathic smile, and a gentle squeeze to his shoulder. “We’ll sort this. Just, not this way.”

In that moment he means it too, every word.

Rehearsals for tours are hard. He can’t believe he’d nearly forgotten just how difficult it was. It’s all hard work, and hardly any play – which he supposes is just the usual really. The choreography is coming back to him easily enough. Some steps are tricky, and he forgets his place at times, which of course makes everything all the more tricky. But the worst part is that Yunho’s a real slave driver when he wants to be, and he sighs dismally at the thought of another three hours of it.

He’d decided to try and get away from it for a bit by feigning the need to stretch out his legs - just for a chance to sit down and take a load off his feet.

He’s thankful that this body is still so young and houses a hell of a lot more energy than that of the one in the present time. Energy that he really wishes he still had. Those rock numbers he does nowadays are really tiring at times! If he even had half of the energy he had now then, damn, would those performances be a hell of a lot easier. But even with all this energy, the schedules are still tough, especially with the staff watching them like hawks hunting their prey.

He quirks an eyebrow in irritation at the thought, and silently thanks whoever will listen that they’re not currently in Korea. Because, the staff there were ten times worse, and boy oh boy, does he remember it. Just the thinking about it makes him scowl, and he makes a show of reaching forward just that little bit more, grunting a little in exertion. Of course, by the beauty that was his luck, one of their staff passes by just at that moment and gives him an odd look. He can only smile awkwardly as they exit the stage via the side and goes back to frowning at his toes again.

However, a sudden pressure at his back makes him whine, and he folds forward further, causing him to feel a tight burn that shoots through the muscles in his legs painfully.

“You’re going to have to try a little harder than that if you want to make it look like you’re actually stretching.” A familiar voice teases. “Because we both know you’re just wanting to sit down.”

“Hm, well maybe if you weren’t such a war lord when it comes to rehearsals…” He mutters childishly, a pout blossoming across his lips.

“Oh, is my Jaejoongie pouting again?” Yunho laughs, squatting down to drape himself across Jaejoong’s back.

“Maybe.” He says back, voice cheeky. “What are you going to do about it?”

He can feel Yunho’s breath against the back of his neck, and goose bumps creep across his skin. He may, not so subtly, lean back into Yunho’s hold, but no one has to know that.

“I’ll have you practicing choreography, that’s what I’ll do.” Yunho tells him, whispering the words right next to his ear. “Someone’s foot work could do with some tidying up.”

“So not y.” Jaejoong sulks, dropping his head to Yunho’s shoulder, and reaching up to flick him in the centre of his forehead.

“I don’t know~ I think you’re pretty y when you dance.” Yunho teases, leaning over right into Jaejoong’s face as he says it, his lips dangerously close to making contact with Jaejoong’s cheeks.

He has to laugh at that. Dropping his gaze to the floor and trying to bite away the grin threatening to split his face. Yunho might be strict, and he might try at times to dance them into early graves, but at times like this he has to wonder if he’d ever really minded.

“You done stretching?” Yunho asks him, switching back so quickly to leader mode that Jaejoong has to roll his eyes.

“I suppose with that tone I should be.” Jaejoong sighs, letting Yunho pull him up.

“Good, cause my knees were starting to go dead from squatting.” Yunho laughs, and bends his knees a couple of times to rid himself of the stiffness that had started to set in.

“Seems like you’re getting old baby~” Jaejoong teases, reaching out to pinch his cheeks, unable to stop himself from giggling when Yunho fixes him with a thoroughly unimpressed look.

He places his hands over his ears and begins making noise so as he can’t hear Jaejoong speak, childishly babbling away.

“I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you!” He choruses, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Ah! You’re such a kid!” Jaejoong tells, but he’s laughing too, making a grab for Yunho’s hands playfully.

“I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you!” Yunho laughs, twisting away from him with a giddy expression.

Jaejoong goes to follow him, fully intent on getting his own back, but he comes up short suddenly, catching sight of Yoochun, and Junsu, huddled together at the side of the stage. He can’t see Yoochun’s face, due to him having his back to him. But he can see the look of baffled confusion on Junsu’s, a look that slowly turns into a disapproving frown as he says something to Yoochun. Whatever he says must be bad, because Yoochun’s frame seems to hunch over slightly, as though he had let out a heavy sigh. It has Jaejoong’s insides twisting with anxiety; especially when Junsu glances his way, and his face immediately transforms into a rather cross scowl.

He’s not sure what he’s done. Or maybe he is, and just doesn’t want to think about it. It’s a lot easier to keep the guilt at bay that way.

It’s certainly enough to have him avoiding the pair for the rest of the rehearsals. It’s also enough to keep him up late into the night, tossing and turning as he ponders whether or not Yoochun had told Junsu about their conversation earlier. Did Junsu disagree? Would he still walk away? Had he changed things for the better time? Or had he only made things worse again?

“Well there’s no going back now.” He thinks to himself, closing his eyes, and snuggling closer into Yunho’s warm embrace.

Just for now that’s enough to keep the monsters at bay.

-X-

It’s cold, cold enough to have him shiver as he slowly gains clarity. Someone’s hands are in him, gently coxing him awake. He can hear them calling to him, but he doesn’t want to get up. He feels so tired, and his body is aching. Was it his manager? Was he going to get scolded again for being late for a schedule? He really hopes that it’s not because he’s been sleeping with the aircon on again…

“Jae… Jaejoong.”

Slowly, he opens his eyes, blinking a couple of times as he adjusts to the lighting within the room. He’s pleased to find Yunho there, sitting beside him on the edge of the bed, and even more so to find him with a soft smile on his face. No manager in sight.

Ah, so he’s in a new future. One where Yunho’s present, one where Yunho’s smiling. So, hopefully everything is ok on that front then. There’s at least one check box he can tick off.

“Good morning sleeping beauty.” Yunho says gently, reaching over to brush a hand down his cheek. “You left the aircon on again.” He then says, lips tugging into a teasing smile. “I should have stayed outside, it’s a lot warmer out there than it is in here!”

“Ah, I’m sorry.” Jaejoong moans, rolling over onto his side to look at him – although his eyes won’t quite follow his instruction, and keep drooping; and he belatedly wonders just what he’d been doing to make himself so tired.

“It’s alright - just try to remember to switch it off next time. It’s expensive to keep running it all day, and night. Help me out a little in attempting to keep you in the life you’re accustomed to!” Yunho jokes, mussing his hair, and giving him one those extra special smiles that people often told him had solely been reserved for him. “How was the flight back from Japan? Don’t tell me you got mobbed at the airport again.” He asks, getting up from the bed to open up the curtains.

Jaejoong briefly considers telling him not to bother, it’s much to bright against his eyes, and finding out that he’d taken a flight only recently definitely explained the groggy feeling. Looking back, he realises that he’d never been one to fall asleep while thousands of feet up in the air. However, he sits up anyway, figuring that Yunho must be looking to talk seeing as he’d asked, and he regrets the movement as soon as he’s propped up against the headboard; his body aching in protest.

“It was alright.” He answers vaguely, trying not to seem too distant as he says it.

“Yeah?” Yunho questions, looking back at him with a knowing look, more than likely understanding that he was sleepy due to lack of sleep. “Your concerts went okay though, right? I know how much you were looking forward to being out on stage again.”

He’d been performing concerts?

Well that explained a lot. Like why he was so achy. These days performing seemed to take it out of him. But boy did he enjoy it – every moment was treasured memory that was well worth the fatigue that followed.

But Yunho was talking as though it was only him who’d travelled. Which meant that the rest hadn’t been present. Something was slowly leading him to believe that the concert had been a solo performance. So, where did that leave the group?

“Yeah, the concerts were great!” Jaejoong says brightly, knowing that if his fans were there, then they would have bound to have been good. “What about you?” He pushes, blinking as Yunho hands him a steaming cup of what smells like coffee.

“Me? Oh, you know, same old, same old here.” Yunho laughs, wandering off to pick up another cup from the set of drawers to the side of the room, before sitting down on the bed again. “I was at the studio for most of night. SM have got this new group set for debut, you remember that one I mentioned before you left? So, I’ve been running them through the choreography for their debut song. The pace is really quick, so a couple of them keep dropping behind every now and then. I’ve got to admit though, it’s pretty intense. But they’re good kids, and the leader’s super patient – so I’m confident they’ll have it down in no time.”

Jaejoong nearly chokes on his coffee; one sugar and super milky (just the way he likes it).

Studio? SM? Running through Choreography? Did Yunho work for SM still then? Did he still work for SM? Just what had he changed?

“That’s good then!” Jaejoong says with a forced smile.

“Yeah, it really is. I was worried about them for a while.” Yunho admits, a fond smile on his face. “But it seems like they’re going to be fine. I put it down to my awesome leadership.” He admits grinning from ear to ear and puffing his chest out.

Jaejoong laughs, doubling over, and cradling his cup to try and protect the bed from rogue coffee spillage. Yunho frowns disbelievingly and shoots him a wide-eyed stare that screams from him to explains his laughter. But Jaejoong, can only wave his hand, gesturing from him to ignore him.

“How are the others?” he then asks, trying not to seem too eager, and aiming to keep it vague again; just in case someone had gone and done a runner, or there was some kind of discord going on between them again – mentioning names could potentially trigger something that Jaejoong just wasn’t equipped to deal with.

“Oh, they’re fine. Junsu’s preparing his new album still. He called me the other day while he was in the studio recording. He played me a bit of the demo track while I was on the phone with him. I think you’ll be pretty impressed when you hear it!” Yunho says, that proud leader smile of his blossoming through as he talks. “Changmin called me- when was it? Wednesday? Anyway, yeah, he’s somewhere in Europe travelling; should be back next week sometime. But he told me to say hi to you, and that he’d called when he was back in Korea.”

“Mm, that’s good.” Jaejoong smiles, pleased to hear that everything seemed ok so far – had he actually done it, was this finally the future he’d been trying for? “And Yoochun? What about Yoochun?” He asks, draining off his coffee cup with a final swig.

Yunho frowns at him oddly for a second, and then a look of realisation seems to dawn across his face.

“Ah, yeah… Junsu mentioned about that.” Yunho says with a sombre tone and moves a hand to awkwardly scratch at the back of his neck. “He… He wasn’t sure if you were going to go – what with you being away in Japan. But he said that he’d go with you if you were back in time; which I suppose you are now.”

“Go with him?” Jaejoong asks nonchalantly, glancing away from him as he leans over to place his cup on the nightstand.

A moment of silence passes, and Jaejoong pauses, hand still outstretched towards the nightstand as he turns back to shoot Yunho a questioning look. But what he finds sends his stomach into a flutter of nervousness. Yunho’s face twists into an uncomfortable look, as though he’s both confused as to why Jaejoong’s seeking clarification, and uneasy about explaining; which leads him to glance away as he speaks.

“To go and visit his grave Jae – just like you do every year.”

I think I managed to get this chapter up quicker than last time - which is an improvement to say the least! Warning the next chapter is going to be a bit... Dark?

So I was thinking about maybe actually writing some of these au's as actual stand alone stories? Would anyone actually be interested in that?

LINKS: 
Here - for my main blog (taebyte)
Here - for my YunJae side blog (yunjaee)
Either's fine! I frequent both often.