“You were gone when I woke up. I figured I must have elbowed you in the ribs again.” Yunho says from the doorway, grinning broadly at him, leaving Jaejoong to stare up wide-eyed from the floor.

Why was he acting like this was such a normal situation?

“Anyway, what are you doing out here?” Yunho goes onto to ask, leaning against the doorframe casually, his eyes rolling over the littering of albums. “Ah, don’t tell me you’re reorganising that lot again?”

Jaejoong says nothing, can say nothing. He can only wonder as to what the hell was going on. He had to be dreaming again. But a third dream in one night? Just what kind of inception bull was this? The likelihood felt impossible…

But to have Yunho here with him, to have apparently slept with him, in the same building, in the same bed - well there was no way in hell this could be reality. Which meant he was subconsciously torturing himself with illusions of what could have been again... Which would make sense considering-

“Where are your albums?” He asks, before he stop himself, the question still lingering at the forefront of his mind as he takes a glance back down to small pile in front of him; anything to stop himself from eyeballing the downright sinful sight of Yunho’s chest.

“My albums?” Yunho questions, looking genuinely caught off guard by the question, brows furrowing in confusion. “You mean our albums?”

It’s Jaejoong who frowns this time, lifting his head to shoot Yunho a bewildered look.

“No.” He says slowly. “I mean your albums – well yours, and Changmin’s.”

At that Yunho shoots him a dark look, eyes narrowing for the briefest of moments, and he folds his arms across his chest in an almost defensive display. Was it something he’d said?

“Changmin? Jae, what are you talking about?” Yunho asks him, lifting his head suspiciously, eyes furrowing into something that looks a little like concern, and Jaejoong feels a well of annoyance begin to burn in his chest.

“Your albums Yunho.” He repeats again, trying to keep his voice to a steady simmer. “The ones you did with Changmin after we: Yoochun, Junsu, and me, left? ‘Keep Your Head Down’, ‘Catch Me’, ‘Tense’ – am I ringing any bells here?”

Yunho still stares dumbly at him, and Jaejoong feels his eyebrow twitch.

“Ok, you’ve really lost me now.” Yunho finally sighs, looking a little exasperated; a feeling that Jaejoong is fast becoming well acquainted with as feels the last of his patience dissipates.

“How the hell do you not know what I’m talking about?!” Jaejoong yells at him, standing up finally, and sending the albums around him scattering. “After we left, you, you, and Changmin, you released albums - and I had them! I brought them, and they were here, along with the all the others – and now, now they’re not. So, where are they?!”

He lifts his hands up to fist his hair, eyes staring about the apartment in a panic, his head pounding with the twinge of an oncoming headache. His rash movements, and sudden increase in volume must take Yunho by surprise, because suddenly he’s there, right in front of him, hands tentatively reaching out to try and hold him. But Jaejoong doesn’t want it, and he quickly steps away from him, moving a hand to his chin, and biting the tip of his thumb thoughtfully.

“Jaejoong….” Yunho says softly, trying his best to pacify him. “Jae, I don’t… I really don’t know where this is coming from.” He tells him, and sighs. “Changmin… You already know that Changmin isn’t with us anymore.”

Now very much alarmed, Jaejoong whirls round to stare at him wide-eyed.

“No longer with them” – what the hell was that supposed to mean?

He opens his mouth to say something, maybe start ranting again about how insensitive Yunho’s being right now. However, he closes it a moment later when the words don’t come.

Yunho looks at him sympathetically, a rather meek attempt at a smile making its way across his lips. Was he… Was he being serious?

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jaejoong questions, voice dropping to a whisper, fear creeping down his spine, like a slow drip from a leaking tap. “Oh my God!” He then says, dropping down onto the sofa behind him, and staring straight ahead at the blank screen of the TV. “Is he… Is he dead?!”

Silence meets his question, and in a haze of blind panic, Jaejoong shoots his head to stare up at Yunho with a rather horror-stricken expression. But Yunho twists his face into a ludicrous look, blinking rapidly in shock, as though it was Jaejoong who was spouting off the devastating news.

“Dead?” Yunho parrots awkwardly, coming over to sit beside him. “What? No, of course not!” He says, laughing light-heartedly. “What are you babbling about?”

“But you…” Jaejoong goes to say, turning his head to look at him, tears starting to sting his eyes.

“No! He’s still with SM, remember? Jaejoong, are you feeling alright? Did you lose your memory over night or something?” Yunho asks him, chuckling slightly as he asks the question, but it comes out a little shaky, and Jaejoong can tell he’s suddenly concerned; despite his attempt to lighten the mood.

“Still at SM?” Jaejoong repeats, more to himself than Yunho. “What are you talking about?” He asks breathlessly, his heart now pounding in his chest.

“We left Jaejoong.” Yunho tells him, tone low, and very much serious as he keeps his eyes trained on him; concern bleeding in his eyes. “You, me, Yoochun, and Junsu – we all left SM as a group and set up our own company.” He goes on to say, gaze then dropping to the side, a look of regret splashing across his features. “Changmin, well… He didn’t come with us.”

Something cold strikes Jaejoong at the admission, and his breath catches in his throat as he hears Yunho confirm his worst fears in one fell swoop. Yunho had to be lying. He would never leave Changmin behind – he wouldn’t. Jaejoong knows he wouldn’t, because when they’d left (Yoochun, Junsu, and him), Yunho, and Changmin, had stayed behind - together. So why would Yunho, even in a dream, decide differently.

“You’re lying!” He cries, tears now trickling down his cheeks as he lashes out, moving to stand up, and glower at Yunho for all he’s worth. “Why would you-?! How could you leave him behind?!” He demands, balling his hands into fists. “That doesn’t make any sense?!”

What had happened to them? How could this have happened?

No answer comes, and Jaejoong watches as Yunho moves to stand in front of him, the picture of alarm, before his face twists into a haggard, rather sad, expression.

“What are you talking about Jae? We promised to stay together didn’t we? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

His words leave Jaejoong reeling, and the tears that had been pouring from him before stop abruptly. His mind lurches violently back to the previous dream, lying together with Yunho under the sheets, wet kisses being placed at his shoulder, and quiet promises whispered against his skin.

But all that had just been a dream, right? It wasn’t real! It couldn’t be, because that had been the only reason Jaejoong had ever dared to ask Yunho for such promises.

A sigh, long, and tired, comes from Yunho. It’s then followed by a warm touch to his forehead, solid and reassuring against his skin. Jaejoong lets him, too wrapped up within his own thoughts to even register it.

“Well, you don’t feel too warm, so at least you’re not sick.” Yunho chuckles, instead leaning forward to press his own head against Jaejoong with the gentleness of a true lover. “Maybe we should cancel todays plans…” He says as an afterthought, voice trailing off as he lifts his head up and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Jaejoong lifts his head slowly, blinking slowly in confusion at Yunho, who catches the look and frowns.

“We’re supposed to be meeting up with the others today to go through Yoochun’s demo track for the new album, remember?”

The prompt obviously does nothing for Jaejoong, (who’s more than a little unaware to the goings-on of this world). But the ripple of worry rolling across Yunho’s features certainly does do something, and he quickly pastes a look of realisation across his face; a soft “oh” dropping from his lips. He’s not sure if it’s at all convincing, but Yunho at least chuckles at his attempt, and closes the distance between their lips, offering him a sweet early morning kiss.

It takes him by surprise - especially when Yunho cheekily runs his tongue across his lips, teeth nipping playfully. But despite it being unexpected, Jaejoong still easily relents to him, melting like a touch starved lover, eyes closing in bliss, and head tipping up ever so slightly to match Yunho’s angle perfectly as the kiss deepens.

He’d have liked things to have stayed like that. However, before he can get too into it, Yunho pulls away from him suddenly, leaving him standing there to wonder at what had just happened.

“Sorry.” Yunho apologises, laughing brightly. “Guess I was just thinking back to last night.” He explains, and then reaches to cup Jaejoong’s cheeks. “I guess we were at it for a while… Maybe I just wore you out.” He jokes, and Jaejoong raises an eyebrow at him – unimpressed to say the least.

“You trying to call me old or something?” He mutters, forgetting the fact that he’s not actually privy to what had happened last night.

“You know I’d never dare~!” Yunho grins teasingly.

“Don’t we have somewhere to be?” Jaejoong quickly prompts, an indignant huff spilling from his lips, as he flings a hand out, smacking Yunho’s hands away from his face waspishly – he’s not sensitive about his age; definitely not.

His comment seems to bring Yunho back to reality again, and the good mood fast fades once more, his face returning back to that overly concerned front.

“Are you sure you’re going to be ok with that?” He asks hesitantly, watching as Jaejoong crosses his arm across his chest.

“It’s a demo track Yunho.” Jaejoong pouts, his brows crumpling into a childish frown. “I can handle it.”

Besides, he thinks to himself, a saddened look crossing his features once more and casts his gaze down to the floor, if Yoochun, and Junsu are there, then perhaps he can garner some more information as to just what the hell had happened with Changmin. Yunho was clearly not going to go into any more detail – at least, not without thinking that Jaejoong was having some kind of breakdown. Because apparently it was utterly normal that Changmin had remained at SM without Yunho in this warped universe.

“Alright then.” Yunho laughs after a moment of contemplative silence, moving away from him, and back towards the bedroom. “We’d better get a move on then, right? Don’t want to keep our genius lyricist waiting.” He tells him, and then pauses as though he’d suddenly thought of something. “Although… I’m sure we have time for a quick shower, right?” Comes another comment, an audaciously wink following swiftly – one that has Jaejoong grinning.

“So… What happened exactly?”

He watches the steam plume from his coffee cup held between his palms quietly, swirling back and forth on itself, higher and higher, until it eventually dissipates completely; vanishing, very much like Jaejoong wishes he could right now.

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific.” Yoochun answers, raising an eyebrow at him in suspicion.

“With Changmin.” Jaejoong explains vaguely, taking a daring peek at Yoochun, only to find him watching him with a look of unpredicted surprise.

“Changmin?” Yoochun parrots and takes a quick sip of his own coffee. “Now there’s a name I haven’t heard in years…” He mutters. “Thought it had pretty much become a curse – what with the way we avoid talking about him. Talk about addressing the elephant in the room.”

Jaejoong makes a grim expression and curls his hands tighter around the paper cup in his hands. They’re currently sat in the cafeteria in C-JeS Entertainment, with an excuse of going to grab coffee, and possibly a bite to eat for the group (the group being Junsu, Yunho, Yoochun, and Jaejoong). The other two were still back in the recording room, in the company of one of their producers, and the general group manager. They were supposed to be taking a break, and Jaejoong had volunteered himself, along with Yoochun, to go and get drinks for everyone. However, it was all a clever ruse to talk things out with Yoochun, and maybe get an idea as to what had happened between them, and Changmin; possibly without making himself look like he was in the midst of a mental breakdown, or suffering with a tragic, and rather abrupt, case of amnesia. He was after all meant to know what had happened, right?

No such luck there though.

“I think it’s a bit too late though – don’t you?” Yoochun says gesturing his cup towards Jaejoong.

“I know, it’s just that… I guess I’ve been thinking about it lately, and I keep thinking about it – you know?” Jaejoong babbles, hands starting to move about animatedly as he tries to search for words.

“Not really.” Yoochun chuckles unsympathetically, lips curling into an amused smile, before finally parting with a wistful sigh. “What brought all this on anyway? You don’t normally bring this up – well not anymore anyway.”

“The new album I guess?” Jaejoong offers, scrunching his nose thoughtfully.

“Jae, we’ve made albums before.” Yoochun tells him slowly, laughing when Jaejoong frowns at him tersely.

“I know that!” Jaejoong snaps at him, huffing irritably, before his shoulders deflate sadly. “I suppose I always feel this way while we’re working on a new album together. It just… Brings up old memories.”

It’s not really a lie.

Back in his own reality he always felt that way when JYJ were busy producing a new album. It never did quite feel the same. Of course, it was nice having more input, and being able to have a direct hand in the creative process was brilliant! But, the feeling of missing two people who had always been beside them before was something that they could never quite ignore. No matter how much time went by, feelings from the past would again rise up like a reoccurring nightmare, always pressing against the same, still open, wounds time after time.

“Ah, I suppose this was what Yunho was talking about before.” Yoochun muses, tipping his head back thoughtfully.

“Before?” Jaejoong questions dryly, arching an eyebrow.

“Mm, he mentioned you were acting odd this morning.” Yoochun tells him, and then laughs. “Although, to be honest, I didn’t think much of it – you’re always acting odd after all!”

“Arse.” Jaejoong quips, taking a sip of his own drink.

“Yeah, yeah.” Yoochun says, rolling his eyes, and waving him off with a flick of his hand. “Guess I can’t blame you though. You seemed to become a lot more sentimental after it all kicked off, what with the whole Changmin thinking he’d been betrayed and all that.” He explains with a sigh, swirling the remains of his coffee around in his cup, before swinging it back in one gulp.

“Betrayed?” Jaejoong questions.

“Yeah, he thought we’d all betrayed him, remember? Because of us all already knowing about the idea of leaving, and him being the last to know. Seemed to think we were all in on it and were deliberately leaving him out of the loop – even after that, what, five hours plus explanation of how we weren’t.” Yoochun recounts wryly, a frown snagging his lips towards the end.

“But Yunho didn’t know either.” Jaejoong points out, watching a little stupefied as Yoochun shoots him a ludicrous look.

“You are joking right?” Yoochun asks. “I think you’re forgetting that It was your idea to keep dropping hints here and there to him. Something about “getting him used to the idea” – I can’t remember the exact words you used.” He sighs. “Then, eventually, you buttered him, and took him off to bed to break the full idea to him - I think? I don’t know! What I do know is that afterwards you two had this explosive argument, followed by a horrible four-day period where you weren’t speaking, and then another round of pillow talk before he finally seemed to buy into the idea.”

Despite the crude explanation, Jaejoong can definitely see himself having done that. But what’s more alarming is that some of what Yoochun’s explaining matches up perfectly to the weird dream from before. Almost as if his previous actions had caused this. The promise Yunho had mentioned earlier also tied into the same thing, and now, with Yoochun mentioning his half-baked plan of dropping hints to Yunho about leaving SM, paired with him dealing with breaking the news to Yunho at a later date, he’s beginning to wonder just what he’d let himself into. His insides tingle with apprehension at the thought.

There’s just one thing that’s not adding up.

“But that still doesn’t make sense!” Jaejoong says, reaching up to drag a hand through his hair. “Why would Changmin refuse to come with us?” He asks miserably.

“Have you not been listening to a word I’ve been saying?” Yoochun questions. “He was the last to know Jaejoong. Not only that, but you have to remember, thanks to one of yours, and Yunho’s, perfectly timed lover’s spats, he found out in the worst of ways.”

“Which was?” Jaejoong prompts dumbly, flinching when Yoochun learns forward to give him a stupefied, semi “are you serious” look. “We’ve had lots of spats - I can’t remember them all!”

“I should think you can when said spat triggered the collapse of a nation-wide adored boy group, of which, might I add, you were a direct member of.” Yoochun quips, giving him a long, rather pointed, look.

Jaejoong doesn’t say anything to that. He instead purses his lips, and takes another quick swing of his drink, a silent admission of defeat. So, both himself, and Yunho, had appeared to have rather royally ed up it seemed.

“Great, I somehow made things worse.” He realises and pulls a sour face, a face that Yoochun catches, and once more sighs at, shuffling forward on his arms to lean in close to Jaejoong.

“Look, you argued. It’s nothing new. You said some things, Yunho said some things, you said some more things, Yunho accidently blurts out the potential plan of leaving SM while trying to come up with a quick comeback.” Yoochun explains, and then pauses dramatically, taking in Jaejoong’s slow look of understanding. “Boom – Changmin finds out, and is, of course, very much confused. He questions what in the blue hell Yunho’s talking about, and this then forces us to have to explain. We then try to argue the fact that we had been going to tell him and weren’t trying to intentionally leave him out. But that doesn’t go down too well, and Changmin, quite rightly, is angry. The whole thing blows out of proportion, and when we do go to leave SM, Changmin very stubbornly stays, partly out of anger, partly because his parents don’t agree with the idea of him leaving being the best of plans. So, with that, you’re all up to speed – as you already should be.”

“Right…” Jaejoong agrees, still a little mind boggled at the vast amount of backstory he’d just been exposed to. “Is he… Is he ok? I mean, how is he now?”

Yoochun once more throws him an odd look, brows furrowing into a familiar expression of confusion. He sets down his now empty paper cup, and then pillows his intertwined fingers together under his chin.

“You’re acting as though you don’t know.” Yoochun says slowly. “I know you’ve heard the rumours. I also know you’ve been chasing them rather closely. So why on earth are you asking me?”

Jaejoong swallow thickly at that, tilting his head down to stare at the table with false rapt interest. His cheeks are burning again as he sits under Yoochun’s heavy gaze worrying his lip like a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar. How to put this?

“Well, I mean, you must have heard something as well… You still speak to people at SM, right?”

It’s a bit of a reach. He knows for sure that Junsu did at least, what with Super Junior’s Eunhyuk attending his musicals personally. But whether or not this had carried over to this bizarre world where everything seemed flipped on its head was another thing altogether.

“Well, not exactly...” Yoochun says, furrowing his brow. “But, Junsu’s heard one or two things through Super Junior, and if you believe them, then you’ll believe that he’s apparently not doing too well still.”

It’s not exactly what Jaejoong wants to hear, and he deflates in his chair at the confirmation of his worse fears.

“Meaning?” He dares to ask, already dreading the answer.

“You already know about the alcohol issues he had, right? Kind of hard to miss with the way the media was hounding him for months after those pictures leaked...” Yoochun explains, voice trailing off mysteriously from a clearly painful memory that Jaejoong himself is not privy to as an outsider of this alternate universe. “Anyway, it all escalated from there, and supposedly SM intervened and got him into some clinic. He’s off the booze if you believe the reports that came out after. But according to people close to him that’s all a farce. Not only that but...”

Jaejoong waits, watching as Yoochun pauses, seemingly trying to find the right words. But Yoochun leaves him hanging, a thoughtful look encompassing his face.

“But what?” Jaejoong urges.

“Again, and this depends on if you believe the rumours that are coming out of SM from people close to him, but he’s apparently suffering from severe depression – even now.” Yoochun divulges, eyes softening in sadness as he lifts his head to look at Jaejoong. “I mean, it’s not really that unbelievable. We left, the four of us, and people obviously found that odd, especially given that he didn’t come along with us. There was a lot of backlash, people coming to their own conclusions, and speculating about what had happened. Changmin… Well he was alone throughout that. It must have been hard on him no matter which way you look at it. The pressure, the expectations, higher ups looking to him to put on a good front and calm the masses by himself. It’s enough to drive anyone to drink. I mean it drove us to leaving, and back then there were five of us!”

Whatever part Jaejoong thought he had left of his heart cracks, his chest splintering with pain, like glass hitting concreate. Here they were altogether, with each other to lean on, and console in during hard times; knowing that they could empathise and relate. But who was Changmin confiding in? Yunho had been there before, a solid presence beside Changmin, and a brother figure to turn to within the destructive mess that the lawsuit had wrought.

He has to fix this! He just has to. Whatever cosmic butterfly effect he’d triggered has to be undone. No matter what had been granted to him in return, his second chance at a relationship with Yunho included, just wasn’t worth the situation they were now in, nor was it worth sacrificing Changmin like this. No matter how much he loved Yunho, he couldn’t stand by and let Changmin linger alone.

“I messed up.” He whispers at his realisation, abruptly standing from his seat, fists clenched on the table as he stares down at the empty paper mug he’d tipped over with his sudden movement.

“What are you talking about now?” Yoochun asks, blinking in surprise as he stares up at his friend in alarm, hand reaching to right the cup in front of him.

“Was that it? You haven’t heard anything else?” Jaejoong goes on to say, ignoring the look of suspicion carving its way across Yoochun’s face.

“No, you’ve had your lot. There’s nothing more to add.” Yoochun confirms.

“Pretty sure that’s not true.” Jaejoong quips, side-eyeing Yoochun with narrowed eyes.

“You get the picture.” Yoochun tells him tersely, before he then pulls back, crossing his arms, and fixing him with a concerned look. “Which is why I’m still confused as to why you’re suddenly so hung up on it. You’ve got Yunho worried, and now me.”

“I just…” Jaejoong goes to say, plonking himself back down in his seat, and pausing to fiddle with the now drained coffee cup in hand. “I think I’m losing my mind.” He admits gently, letting the words hand between them like a guilty confession.

Yoochun laughs humourlessly as Jaejoong continues to stare down at the empty cup, dearly wishing it held all the answers he was searching for.

“Hah, aren’t we all?” Yoochun asks rhetorically, a dark chuckle following his words.

“No.” Jaejoong can only think in response. “Just me apparently.”

It’s no surprise when Yunho gives him a pouty expression once they make it back home. He makes a not so subtle comment about how hungry he is, and then (in very unfair move), turns on his best puppy dog eyes to full force. Naturally Jaejoong tries to ignore it to begin with. He’s emotionally drained after such a hectic day, and combined with the bombshells that had been dropped, and the notion that he’d somehow managed to change the events of the future; and by the look of it for the worse. It’s safe to say he’s not exactly all that willing to cook up a tantalising, taste bud tickling, meal for two.

“Seems like you’re doing better from this morning.” Yunho comments once they’re behind closed doors, his face dropping to the crook of Jaejoong’s neck to press his lips against the sensitive skin he knows he’ll find there. “Got to admit I was a little concerned.”

“Mm, So Yoochun was saying.” Jaejoong tells him side-eyeing the CD's still lingering in a pile on the floor.

“Ah, so Yoochun ratted me out huh?” Yunho laughs, following him over to the sofa.

“Well, you weren’t exactly subtle about it.” Jaejoong points out, a coy smile touching his lips.

“Subtle? I’ll show you subtle Jaejoongie~” Yunho croons, reaching forward to grab Jaejoong, and tackling him to the sofa.

Jaejoong shrieks suddenly, a bubble of surprised laughter escaping his lips. Yunho’s hands are on him, brushing against his side’s mercilessly despite his squirming. He’s struggling to breath as the laughter keeps coming, tearing from him with each touch. His legs flail out to tangle up with Yunho’s, arms reaching to tickle him back. But Yunho’s always been just that little bit stronger than him, and it’s still evident as he easily keeps him in place below him; although his position on top may well be giving him that extra edge. One of Yunho’s hands slides up his shirt, and goose-bumps erupt across Jaejoong’s skin in its wake, soft fingertips trailing sensuously in slow sweeping movements. A shudder rips through Jaejoong’s body, and suddenly the giggles are gone, very quickly replaced with sharp intakes of breath.

Something in Yunho’s eyes changes, and Jaejoong bites his lip at the sight of it, already knowing what was coming his way: and certainly not about to fight against it.

Dark eyes drink him in for only a few moments longer, before lips land on his. It’s messy, heated, and Jaejoong loves every second of it. He gives as good as he gets, never one to be a lazy lover. His enthusiasm seems to have been noted, and Yunho makes a low growl at the back of his throat, teeth grazing Jaejoong’s lip as he nips him. In response Jaejoong moans, a contented sigh exhaling through his nose.

He’s eager to get down to it suddenly, overcome with the urge to be as close as he possibly can to his long-lost lover. Breaking their lip lock, he reaches up to fist Yunho’s shirt within his hand, gently tugging on the fabric as he flicks his gaze up, eyes peering up at him through his eyelashes, lip caught between his teeth again - his most sultry looks, and one he knows used to drive Yunho crazy.

Drive him crazy it does, and Yunho’s back clawing at his clothes again with just one look. This time he’s not so tender, fingernails catching his skin as he yanks at his shirt, tugging it up hard as he attempts to yank it up and over his head. Jaejoong can’t stop his soft chuckle of laughter at the action, and Yunho ‘punishes’ him with a swift kiss plopped at the corner of his mouth.

“Don’t tease.” Yunho murmurs against his lips, and Jaejoong drops his head shyly, unable to hide his smile as he tries to look properly chastised for his cheekiness.

He decides to help at last, lifting his arms up to ease himself from the confines of his shirt that had been causing Yunho trouble. Although when he comes to his jeans, he makes sure to take his time, and make a somewhat show of it for his other half; who seems only too happy to take note of Jaejoong’s rather audacious actions.

“Not that I mind you looking or anything… But aren’t you going to undress too?” Jaejoong says, grinning up at him.

Yunho blinks out of his daze, slowly nodding as he seems to realise what Jaejoong had said, a soft “oh” falling from his parted lips. He scrambles off the sofa suddenly, and Jaejoong beams once more as he realises that, even though so much time had passed between them here, he still seemed to have the ability to render Yunho speechless. The thought makes his heart swell once more, and suddenly he wants to make this a little more special.

“Bedroom!” Jaejoong announces brightly, jumping from the sofa, and rushing towards the bedroom where he’d woken up that morning.

“Wha-” Yunho, who currently still has one leg in his trousers, squawks, looking up just in time to see him go dashing past in only his boxers. “Jaejoong!” He then yells after him, laughing all the same.

Jaejoong ignores him, flinging open the bedroom door, and practically divebombing the bed in his excitement. It’s been… A while, since he’d last slept with Yunho (his brief dream/trip to the past notwithstanding, and he wants to make the most of this. Which is exactly why he feels an abundance of nerves flutter about his stomach as he watches Yunho come sauntering into the bedroom, leaning against the door in such a cheesy, yet visually arousing, way.

“You expecting company?” Yunho asks, smirking at him wryly.

“Only my boyfriend.” Jaejoong replies coyly, rolling onto his stomach, and propping his chin up on his hands.

“Maybe I can keep you busy for a while then?” Yunho asks, sounding hopeful.

“I don’t think he’d like that very much.” Jaejoong tells him, smirking as Yunho’s face twists into a frown.

“Probably not.” Yunho answers quickly, sounding very much like he means it.

He still comes sauntering over to him anyway, this time taking a leaf from Jaejoong’s book, and making a performance of it, hips swinging to his own beat. Jaejoong can only grin at their antics, laughing endearingly as he slides up the bedsheets to make room for Yunho.

Playing to his more childish desires, he makes grabby hands at him, smiling contently when Yunho allows him to wrap his arms around his neck and pull him down for some more, very much needed kisses. He’d always been rather spoilt in that department, and if Yunho was willing to indulge him, then Jaejoong was more than happy to take advantage of that willingness again.

He’s just about to get things started, a hand ghosting over the hardened skin of Yunho’s , fingers toying with the hot flesh teasingly, when his funs spoilt by the tell-tale ringing of a phone from the other room. It’s loud, but for a moment he thinks Yunho might not be hearing it, and continues with his ministrations, hoping to distract him long enough for the blasted device to go to answerphone. It’s a nice idea, and one that Jaejoong thinks for a blessed moment he just might have gotten away with.

But Yunho, being the attentive leader that Jaejoong remembers him being, notices, and Jaejoong’s heart sinks as he pulls away from him.

“Do you hear that?” Yunho asks, head turning to the side a little more.

“No.” Jaejoong wants to say, and for a brief second, he toys with the idea of being selfish, and telling him so.

But the smart side of him reminds him of the many arguments that had come forth from such actions in the past. Was it really worth it? Probably not.

“Phone.” He mumbles, falling to a sulky tone all too easily, and he his hides his face with his arm to stop Yunho from seeing the matching expression that goes with it.

“Ah, don’t pout ~” Yunho tells him. “I’ll be back in a second. It’s probably just one of the managers wanting an update.”

“Then you’ll be talking for days!” Jaejoong whines, rolling onto his stomach as Yunho gets off the bed. “I’ll have died of old age by then.” He adds dramatically.

“So dramatic.” Yunho laughs, reaching out to ruffle his hair lovingly before wandering from the bedroom.

Jaejoong continues to pout, listening out as Yunho’s voice begins to filter through to the bedroom. From the sounds of it Yunho’s prediction had been right, as Jaejoong starts to hear topics such as “yes, the preparations are going well” and “yes, we’re on schedule to have it finished by the agreed date”. But even with so many confirmations the conversation doesn’t seem to be dying down, and Jaejoong stubbornly stands by his previous point of dying of old age by the time Yunho’s done confirming every aspect of their upcoming album.

With that thought in mind he turns his attention to the bedside table, flicking on the lamp placed there to give the dark room a soft yellow glow. He figures that he might as well get comfy if he’s going to be here for the long haul. However, just as he’s beginning to snuggle down against the pillows behind him, something catches his eyes. There, settled neatly, pride of place, on a cabinet off to the side, is a framed picture. It’s an old photo, one featuring all the original members of TVXQ back in their early days, eyes b with youth, fresh with life, and full to bursting with excitement towards their aspiring future. He blanches at the sight of his hair, long, black, and styled into such a horrific mess that he’d lived to regret it for many years after; despite the fact that he’d thought he’d looked the best out of all of them back then.

His horrible hairstyle aside, he can’t help but let his gaze linger the longest on their youngest, guilt returning tenfold like a heavy punch to the gut. He’d been so engrossed with Yunho, giddy with excited to finally be with him again, that in the rush of emotions he’d forgotten the havoc that his actions had caused.

Changmin was by himself, supposedly suffering with depression (if the rumours were to be believed), and perhaps struggling with an alcohol addiction.

God, what had he done?

Flinging himself back into his stomach, head cushioned on the soft pillows at the top of the bed, he wallows. Was all this just some sort of cosmic lesson from the universe, serving as a reminder that he really couldn’t have what he wanted, and that there would always be a severe consequence?

It was a likely story, he supposes, as he lies there listening to the sweet sound of Yunho explaining their creative progress.

“The things you truly wanted in life always seemed to come at a price.” He reminds himself, feeling his eyelids drop with the weight of fatigue.

Perhaps he might just dose until Yunho’s done with his little chat. He can think of a way to right this wrong once he wakes up...

-X-

“Ah, you fell asleep on me before I finished? Hm, and here you were complaining about me! Well, I suppose there’s nothing for it. Goodnight Jaejoongie...”

-X-

He’s floating. Well, kind of.

He’s in what looks like a circus tent, balancing precariously on a thick wire placed between two points, feet placed at awkward angles, for which he can only assumed is to keep him in balance. Balance which is fast fading as the true horror of the situation starts to kick in. Which is more than understandable, given the fact that he’s around 30ft off the ground, and there looks to be no safety net below him to catch his unbalanced .

He lets out a warbled shriek, as his body awkwardly teeters, jerking sporadically from side to side, arms flailing out in a desperate attempt to right himself. But it does him no good, and with a final sharp dip forward, he miss-steps, and goes careering off to the side. His body feels weightless as he drops through the air, and he doesn’t have the mind to even scream as his mind goes blank with shock. All he can do is screw his eyes shut and wait for gravity to do the rest.

Only the world doesn’t seem to be done with screwing with him just yet.

Just as he hears the shout of his name, loud and clear above the panic in mind, he lands; colliding with something soft.

It’s surprising to say the least, and when he realises he’s no longer falling, nor in pain, and in the comfort of something rather squishy, he opens his eyes.

The gathering of concerned people greets him. They tower above him, faces painted with bright, circus, looking makeup, and even brighter clothing. He thinks for a moment that he might just faintly recognise Changmin among the crowd, wearing something quite revealing, and holding what look like juggling batons. But that’s... Impossible, right? Changmin wouldn’t be caught dead in such a getup.

But there again. There was that one performance…

“You ok Jaeji?” A voice asks; a very familiar voice, that sounds like it’s coming from below him.

Immediately he sits back on his heels, and glances down.

Unsurprisingly, it’s Yunho; as Jaejoong had somewhat been suspecting. Yunho, who’s currently dressed in a vast amount of purple, and has what looks like a cape tangled around him. Which is a little surprising to say the least, and for a good few seconds he’s mesmerised.

“Jaeji?” Yunho asks once more, his voice touched with a soft hint of concern as he stares up at him.

“Sorry!” Jaejoong apologises, jolting back from his internal thoughts of just how good Yunho looks, and quickly scrambles up to allow his would be saviour to get up.

“It’s alright. No harm done, my darling moon rabbit.” Yunho says, pulling himself with Jaejoong’s help, and untangling his cape, fingers carefully smoothing it back into place.

It’s at this point, Jaejoong takes a moment to really appreciate Yunho’s attire, and he feels his mouth run a little dry as he watches him reach down to retrieve a dark purple top hat, and place it atop his head in a dazzling, rather suave move; a playful wink following. It’s eccentric to say the least, and not something Jaejoong had ever seen him wear before. Flattering, dark purple, dress trousers, (that are slightly tight in places), paired with a ruffled white dress shirt, that’s low hanging, and undone at the top by three buttons, and a smart waistcoat that matches the dark purple trousers in colour. It’s enough to give people a feast for the eyes in the form of the tanned flesh of Yunho’s flesh, and a sight that Jaejoong ogles openly. The whole things topped with the cape, a darker purple than the rest, but still a look that perfectly complements everything else.

He suddenly feels way too warm.

“Although, you really shouldn’t have insisted on trying that act without a safety net.” Yunho chastises him, seemingly completely unaware of Jaejoong’s current predicament. “Sometimes I really think you’re too overconfident in your skill.” He adds with a frown, which quickly settles into concern a moment later, gentle hands moving out to cup his face, tilting it up for him to look. “There again, it isn’t like you to fall, my precious.”

A feather light kiss, tender and soft as a rose petal, lands on his forehead. His feels like glass as he’s pulled into a careful embrace slowly, arms looping around his waist to coax him closer.

“You were amazing tonight though – as always.” Yunho tells him quietly, and Jaejoong catches the scent of something metallic flood his senses.

He watches, transfixed by the bright blue of Yunho’s eyes, something he hadn’t noticed before. They’re light and seem to gleam beneath the bright stage lights blaring down from above them, illuminating everything within their path.

“As a reward for such a beautiful performance, I have a present for you.” Yunho says softly. “Seeing as Junsu, and Changmin, are back from the hunt.”

Jaejoong gives him a rather confused look, but before he can make comment on his cryptic aura, he finds himself up and off the ground once more; only this time he’s not tight rope walking, but rather being carried within Yunho’s arms. He yelps in surprise, hands moving around Yunho’s neck for purchase. It’s not that he’s worried about falling this time – Yunho have never in the very long history of carrying him about, ever dropped him. But… This wasn’t exactly his- This wasn’t exactly the Yunho from his universe. That, and it never hurt to be on the safe side.

Thought for his safety aside, Jaejoong realises that Yunho’s heading towards the exit, a bright smile on his face that makes him feel a little uneasy. He’s carried from the main tent and into the cold air outside. His outfit doesn’t do much for him against the nights air. It’s thin, revealing, and painfully reminds him of the flimsy pieces of fabric that had somehow passed as his stage outfits. Those thin excuses of cloth he’d been dolled up in during the ‘Mitotic’ era, that had barely covered his body. He shudders, both at the memory, and the multiple colds he’d suffered from back then.

He wonders if Yunho notices his shivering as he ducks into a smaller tent, his arm moving out to push away the heavy curtain He catches his eyes for a quick moment, before jerking his head to look around, feigning the action of looking around so as not to get himself caught red-handed staring.

However, glancing around only increases the foreboding lump that’s settled in his stomach. The tent is a lot smaller than its grand counterpart that he’d taken his frightening fall within, and holds an ominous, almost eerie feeling to it. One that he has a strong instinct to run from as he’s carefully placed back to the ground again by Yunho.  

“This way, my darling~” Yunho says, offering out his hand in a rather grand movement, and Jaejoong finds himself hesitantly taking it with a forced smile.

Something feels off…

However, his curiosity is still peaked, and he brushes aside his disinclinations, and follows Yunho’s lead further into the tent, letting the curtain drop behind him.

He’s right to have been perturbed though, as when they round the corner, Jaejoong finds himself upon the scene of five people gagged and bound to a large pillar holding up the tent they’re standing in. They’re frightened to say the least, all staring up at them both with eyes b with fear, gagged mouths forcing out muffled pleas. It feels akin to a scene pulled straight from a movie, and Jaejoong can barely take the sight in, body frozen in place with acute shock.

His assessment of the situation is cut short however, when he feels the fan of hot breath breathing across the back of his neck, and shudders when he hears Yunho quietly speak from behind him.

“Do you like them Jaeji?” Yunho asks, voice now beginning to sound a tad deranged to Jaejoong’s ears. “Are you happy, my darling moon rabbit?”

He can’t respond. He doesn’t even know what Yunho’s really asking! Is he happy? On what grounds exactly? There’s 5 people, people who look like ordinary citizens, people who look suspiciously like they’ve been kidnapped, sitting bound and gagged before him. Is this something he’s supposed to be happy about, and if so, why? Just what the hell was he expecting him to do with them?

“Will you help me with them Jaeji?” Yunho then asks excitedly, seemingly happy for Jaejoong not to answer his previous question, as he grins, body almost seeming to buzz within his skin.

But this request catches Jaejoong even more off guard, and he turns to stare at Yunho in alarm this time. Deal with them? Deal with them how exactly?

“I- What?” Jaejoong asks, his voice cracking a tad, and he feels the hair on the back of his neck begin to stand on end as his fight, or flight instincts slowly start to trigger with each passing second.

“Ah.” Yunho then says, clapping his hands together, a pinched expression of regret pooling across his face. “I’m sorry my precious - I forgot. You prefer to watch me deal the first kill, don’t you?” He explains, coming closer to gently caress his cheek, looking overly apologetic as he watches him. “Forgive me.”

A breath catches in his throat at the beautiful expression of love, something so tender and warm, that blooms within Yunho’s eyes. It holds him in place, rooted under the weight of such a heavy expression. Yet, the moment shatters like glass as flash of silver catches Jaejoong’s eyes, and before he can question it, Yunho’s arms flies out to the side, a chorus of muffled shrieks echoing a second later.

He turns his head, following the line of Yunho’s arm slowly, and his world tunnels, breath stalling as he takes in the gruesome sight of one of the victims, now slumped to the side, skewered in the centre of their forehead by a short knife.

A scream tears itself from his throat, and he immediately backs up from the scene, whole body trembling as he tries to make sense of what Yunho had just done. He stares in horror at the blood trickling down the man’s forehead, the image scarring itself across his mind. His hands fly up to his ears to block out the screaming coming from the other victims beside the dead man, and he shakes his head frantically as he tries to mentally reject the situation.

“Jaeji?” Yunho calls, face the picture of alarm as he moves to his side, hands reaching for him. “Jaejoong, what’s wrong?”

Terrified, Jaejoong slaps his hands away, eyes glittering with tears, breath leaving him in heavy gasps.

“You just- Why did you do that?!” Jaejoong tells hysterically, his mind tumbling as he tries to process what the hell had just happened, and the why Yunho seemed so calm about it.

However, before he can, he feels his mind sway, vision clouding intermittently, and his reaches a hand up, blinking to refocus his gaze. It doesn’t help though, and the words that he can see Yunho speaking to him don’t register to his ears.

His heart races in panic, blood churning past his ears in a defending roar. He gives Yunho a final look of confusion, as unfocused as it might be, before his body transforms into a weightless husk, and he feels himself fall backwards, the world before him crushed into a fading void of black.

-X-

There’s a scream on his lips even before he wakes. Eyes screwed up tight, and yet still acutely seeing the image of that poor man, a glistening knife punctured straight through the middle of his forehead staring at him with glassy eyes. And Yunho, Yunho who had looked at him in confusion when he’d screamed. Yunho, who had moved closer to him, with hands reaching out in comfort that had throw the very knife that was slowly sapping away the life of what had appeared to have been an innocent man. Hands he wants away from him. Hands that are- on him?

Between his screaming he becomes aware of hands on him, tugging at him in earnest. Then words become clear, words that are spoken to him with eerily familiar calm tones that only serve to remind  him of the Yunho he’d dreamed/experienced.

Honestly, he’s beginning to lose his grip on what was real, and what wasn’t.

“Jaejoong! Snap out of it!” He hears someone shout, and a fuzzy slither of sense within his mind links those firm demands to Yoochun.

He snaps his eyes open at the shout, body freezing.

Where was he? Was he finally home? Unlikely - Yoochun was here.

“Are you alright?” Yoochun asks, hovering over him in concern.

That question has to wait though, because a second later, just as Yoochun’s mouth opens to say something more, the door to the room flies open; angrily smacking against the wall and creating a loud bang that reverberates in the form of a booming echo. Following the violent movement comes three more people, each looking sleep ruffled, and sporting matching bedheads. Yet, despite their appearance, they seem a lot more awake than Jaejoong himself feels, especially when one of the intruders slaps the light switch, and the bright glare from the light on the ceiling blares down on him with an unnecessary intensely.

“What’s going on?!” One of them demands suddenly, and Jaejoong feels thrown for six once more.

This… This had all happened before.

His eyes dart up to the sight of Yunho, Changmin, and Junsu, each with matching looks of concern spread across their faces.

No. Not again. Was he really going to have to face the pain of past memories once more? His heart drops, taking in the sight of the familiar room, of the same blanket draped over him as before, of Yoochun’s young face unblemished with the struggles yet to come, of Yunho, his face crumpled with worry.

Yunho…

His stomach drops further, and he draws his knees up to his chest, and swallows, watching his band members in fear. Unlike last time he doesn’t say anything, instead sitting there watching them, waiting, for what, he doesn’t quite know.

“We heard screaming.” Yunho says, eyes hovering over Yoochun, before then moving to Jaejoong, who drops his gaze immediately when he finds himself victim to Yunho enquiring stare. “What happened?” He then asks.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Yoochun tells him, and Jaejoong hears him sigh beside him. “Jae?”

“Bad dream.” Jaejoong mutters, keeping his head down as he muddles through his erratic thoughts.

“Ok.” Yunho says gently, moving over to Jaejoong’s side, and sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asks, arm reaching out to pull him into a hug.

But as soon as he makes contact, Jaejoong snaps, mind reeling back to the memory of dead eyes, a knife, and the slow creep of blood. He jerks, shouting out a loud cry of “don’t”, flinging himself to the side abruptly, his left shoulder slamming into the wall his bed was pushed up against. Pain blooms across his shoulder, and he recoils in on himself a little, hissing quietly on impact. His sudden jarring movement takes Yunho by surprise, and he moves back a little, blinking in shock.

“I’ll take that as a no then.” Yunho murmurs, glancing to Yoochun, in what Jaejoong assumes is meant to be a way of getting some kind of confirmation.

But the look does nothing, and Yoochun only shrugs rather uselessly at him, leaving Yunho to sit rather lost on the bed to figure it out for himself. Only Jaejoong doesn’t give him the chance. With his fight or flight instincts triggered, he resolves to get away. Pushing himself up and off the bed, he darts from the room as fast as he can.

Behind him he hears his band mates shout after him in concern, but he ignores them, instead coming to an abrupt halt in the kitchen come dining room. It’s exactly the same as before, almost perfectly matching his last dream/time travel visit; right down to the clutter atop the dining table that had given him such a rush of OCD before.

“I’m still dreaming. This must be a dream.” He whispers to himself, hands moving to clutch at his hair, and blatantly ignoring his band members; who had now come to congregate together by the door to his and Yoochun's shared room. “Why am I not waking up?!” He demands, glaring down at the floor with a look of pensive anger, a slither of panic wiggling itself way through his body.

“Jaejoong?” Junsu asks gently, voice hesitant with uncertain concern, and Jaejoong turns to him, warily watching him slowly step forward to where it seems none of the others dare tread.

“I don’t understand.” He tells them meekly, feeling the urge to break down completely and let himself drop to the floor. “Why am I not waking up? Why do I keep living through this day?”

His questions get him nothing but a series of blank looks, and Changmin in particular now seems fed up with what he probably assumes to be nothing but sleep deprived ranting. It wouldn’t be the first time Jaejoong had let his sleeping problems get on top of him, and definitely wouldn’t be the first time that it had results in him temporarily losing it.

“I warned you he was going to crack with all this lack of sleep business.” Changmin says pointedly, turning with anger masked concerned to look at Yunho, as he throws an arm out to gesture pointedly at Jaejoong. “Looks like it finally happened – just like I said it would.”

His condescending outburst earns him a dark look from Yunho, one that’s clearly a wanting to stop talking. Jaejoong would know, he’d often seen it after running his mouth during an interview. But it drops away almost as quickly as it had arrived, and his gaze soon refocuses on Jaejoong again, a more sympathetic expression glossing its way across his face. He steps forward, trying once more to offer Jaejoong what he must think is much needed comfort, but Jaejoong cuts the cord before he can offer it.

“I’m not cracking!” He hisses, much like a cat lashing out, and every bit like the prissy princess that some people thought him to be and turns away. “This is a dream.” He reminds himself, curling his arms around himself in reassurance. “Eventually I’ll wake up, and you’ll all be gone again, we'll... We'll go back to being broken again.”

At that he does drop to the floor, the realisation dawning on him once more, and very quickly after the tears start flowing. He doesn’t remember being one for crying. He certainly doesn’t remember having cried all that often, if at all, in front of s.

No. That had had all started after the spilt. At the point he’d realised that it really didn’t matter whether or not he showed his emotions to that extent. If anything, these days his fans seemed to enjoy that he felt comfortable to show that vulnerable side of himself.

But for s... Well they were unlikely to be as cool with it. More than likely because they just weren’t used to it, and the sight of tears on him probably sent alarm bells ringing.

Which rings true when he hears Changmin make the most panicked of garbled noises from the side, a rather high-pitched panicked squeak of “oh my g-! I didn’t mean it Jaejoong! I promise!” dropping rather gracelessly from his mouth as Jaejoong continues to sniffle on the floor.

“Hey...” Yunho sighs gently, deciding to forego double checking whether or not it was ok to enchroch on Jaejoong’s personal space, and just do it anyway.

He squats down in front of him, face all soft edges, and open with nothing but fondness as he sweeps away a messy clump of hair from his face.

“Come on, let’s get up off the floor. We have perfectly good sofas if you want to cry this out.”

Jaejoong finds himself being tugged up, forearm pressing against his eyes to hide his tears. The effect isn’t pretty, and he ends up smearing them across his cheeks in the process, and by the time he’s settled down on the sofa he feels like a soggy sponge, saturated with his own sadness. It’s a double effect as he starts to feel a wave of self-consciousness crush him, and that combined with the weight of s collective stares rooted on him makes him feel like a circus spectacle. It’s a little overwhelming just how much concern is being blasted his way, and he fiddles with his fingers just as an excuse to not have to look at them.

But that soon stops however, when a cold glass is pressed into his hands, and he follows the arm that’s holding it out to him only to find Yunho at the other end, face still smoothed out into a patient look.

“So then, what’s all this about us being broken, hm?” Yunho asks him, squatting down in front of him, hands placed gently on his knees as he looks up at him – and the strategic placement is not lost on Jaejoong.

It doesn’t take him long to realise that, in this position, it’s nearly impossible to avoid eye contact. Smart move Jung, smart move.

Yunho’s immediate observation regarding his previous ranting also isn’t lost on him. Of course, out of everything, Yunho was going to comment on the idea of the group breaking up. It’s no longer a wonder why Yunho had been so hell bent on protecting the group’s name – the signs had been there since day one, and Jaejoong feels a burn of sadness tug in his stomach at the blatant, yet somehow so very subtle, show of protectiveness.

“I keep falling into this dream,” Jaejoong murmurs softly, fully aware of how insane he must look to them right now. “And I don’t know how to wake up.”

“Dream?” Yunho echoes, tone urging Jaejoong to continue elaborating.

“I’m still dreaming.” He explains, making sure to keep his eyes locked on Yunho’s just to burn the image of how aware he is into his mind.

As expected, Yunho’s thrown be his admission, and he pulls back a little, seemingly to assess Jaejoong for a moment, before he finally shakes his head.

“You’re tired, Jae. We’re all aware that you’re not sleeping again, and with the schedule the way it is-”

“That’s not it!” Jaejoong shouts at him, keeping his head low, and glaring into the glass now squeezed tightly between his hands, skin prickling at the silence that seems to echo back at him from the shock of him shouting. “That’s not it.” He repeats adamantly, toning his voice back down to a firm, but quite tone. “This is the dream.”

It has to be. There’s no way, all that pain, all that suffering; everything that they’d been through - there’s just no way that his actual memories weren’t real. For one, his mind couldn’t have conjured such a heart wrenching scenario – no matter how creative he got. The feelings it had invoked, the anger it had caused, there’s just no way it was all for nothing but a dream.

He couldn’t reduce it to something so trivial. Which meant that this, this weird return to the past, had to be the dream.

But… Was there some way in which both were real?

“It is Jaejoong.” Yunho presses, eyes no longer soft, but still patient, as he always had been with them. “How can you say that this is dream, huh? Am I not real to you?” He then asks, frowning at him for a moment as though insulted. “Whatever it was you were dreaming in that pretty head of yours was simply that – a dream, and nothing more.” He reiterates.

That gives him something to think on. Yunho did feel real. But then again, so had everything else he’d been experiencing so far – killer circus ring leader, and zombie slayer Yunho included.

So, what was the truth here?

For now, he gives, closing his eyes, and letting his shoulders sag. He flicks his eyes back open again a moment later, staring down at the condensation fogging up the glass of water still pressed in his hands. Perhaps, at least for now, it was better to just concede, instead of causing another headache. He was safe here right? With these people beside him – version that he was familiar with at least.  

Plan of action decided, he makes a soft noise of admission, one that comes out as a heavy sigh if anything and nods his head slowly.

“Ok.” He whispers, catching sight of Yunho’s small smile, and the feeling of his hands gently brushing against his own.

Seemingly pleased with his admission of defeat, Yunho taps his knees, and stands back up offering a hand to him.

“Right, well let’s get back to bed, ok? We can talk about this morning, and maybe look into getting you some more of those sleeping aids that worked so well before.”

“Unlikely.” Jaejoong thinks bitterly.

He vaguely remembers trying to get a hold of them before only to be told he couldn’t because of the addictive nature of them.

That aside, he still goes back to bed with Yunho anyway. He doesn’t sleep though, he can’t. Not when he’s still so on edge, his brain buzzing within his mind like a sense of impending doom. It keeps him solidly rooted in a state of panicked waking. Which he supposes suites him well enough in the end. It means he’d be first in the shower and could stand for an extra 10 minutes staring at the water drain away down the plughole. He’d even get to paint threatening messages in the mirror fog for the other members to find later – Junsu never had quite been the same after they’d watched that one horror flick featuring a rather wrathful bathroom ghost...

His plans for teasing aside, being the first awake does lend itself to one positive in particular. That being the chance to watch Yunho wake up. Something he’s currently enjoying the sight of, as he stands at the end of the bed, already dressed in fresh clothing and running a brush through his famous hair. It’s like poetry in motion, and Jaejoong often wonders why he’d never written a song about it. There’s something quite cute about a rather fresh from sleep Yunho. Was it the bleary-eyes he’s rubs at as he sits up, or the lack of his usual sharp and steady coordination as he meanders about the bedroom, or perhaps the clinginess that lends itself to him wrapping himself around Jaejoong like koala as he potters about gathering his necessities for the day.

Or maybe it’s him just being a sentimental, love-struck, fool all over again.

“Are you not going for your run today?” Jaejoong asks after hearing another sleepy complaint.

“Ah! I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you!” Yunho babbles, showcasing that adorable childish side of himself that Jaejoong cherishes, but is hardly ever displayed in front of their fans – somehow that makes it all the more precious.

“You’ll only complain later...” Jaejoong reminds him, tone dropping to a patronising, mother like, tone that he just knows will have Yunho pouting – they both know he’s not wrong after all.

“Are you trying to get rid of me Jaejoongie?” Yunho pouts, pressing light kisses to his cheek.

“No.” He smiles, momentarily pausing from where he’d been dutifully folding his clothes. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” He adds softly, turning around in Yunho’s hold to kiss him instead, lips still turned upward as Yunho enthusiastically kisses him back.

If he’d been freaked out before about the whole “travel back to the past” thing, this time around he’s utterly dumbstruck. More so than anything else, he finds himself wandering about the set for the photoshoot in a daze. A daze which had started about 10 minutes into the car journey when he’d realised that everything really did feel like old times. He guesses the first-time round he’d never really had chance to breath it all in, what with his brain moving about 150 miles an hour trying to figure out just what in the blue hell was going on.

He tries very hard to not make it obvious that he’s more than a little out of it. But it’s so difficult when his mind still can’t seek to wrap itself around the situation, and the questioning looks of concern he receives from everyone else don’t go unnoticed. Neither does the not so subtle nudge that Yunho gets from one of their managers, nor the question of “is everything alright with Jaejoong?” that follows said nudge. Apparently, his mood is gauged by how much, and how loud, he’s speaking, and therefore the lack of word vomit leaving his lips was seemingly cause for concern. He’d personally thought that the near collision between his head and the concrete surface of the road, that had nearly taken place after he’d tripped over his own feet, might have been a bigger cause for concern. But, apparently not. Whatever - dully noted.

His clumsiness aside, things turn bleaker when he finds himself face to face with Yoochun again, the question of when they’re going to drop the bomb falling from his lips like a rude awakening, and he soon finds himself sobering up from his heavy daze. There’s something quite harrowing about hearing it for a third time, and it leaves his mind spinning not for the first.

But avoiding this before had not ended well, and now that he knows this he’s not exactly keen to duck and roll it again. Which leaves him agreeing to hash it out with the other members later that evening, and while trying not to give his nerves away.

However, agreeing to it, and then sticking by said agreement are two different things altogether. The thought leaves him cold and battling anxieties for the rest of the shoot. He wanders off in thought, completely blanking out, and not catching most of what’s said to him. It’s not exactly appreciated for the most part, and Jaejoong takes note of the crumpled looks of disapproval that Yunho shoots his way after the third time of being told to focus by their manager.

His nerves don’t improve once the shoots over though, nor during their radio schedules, both AM and PM, or even during the late-night practice for the upcoming batch of concerts. He’d initially been impressed by the way he’d been able to remember the choreography. But that had been the first time this oddity had occurred, and everything had been new, and very confusing at that point. Now he’s just thinking about how to keep himself from bursting into tears.

Managing all that leaves him exhausted, choreography aside, and by the time they’re back at the dorm, he’s ready to crash onto the surface of his bed and drift off. Yoochun doesn’t make allowances for that though. He's there at his side from the moment they get back, and Jaejoong nervously avoid eye contact with everyone as he moves out the way. He knows what’s coming, and although he’d agree to go through with it, both with Yoochun, and with his inner conscience, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t still subconsciously try to avoid it.

Again, however, Yoochun shadows him like a bee to nectar, hovering within his space, and genuinely being a nuisance as he attempts to make eye contact with him.

He assumes Changmin must catch on to it, or at least pick up on the suspicious vibes they’re sending out, as he comes over a moment later, mouth immediately running about what they’re having to eat. It’s enough to have Jaejoong placing both hands to the counter, sending a mental prayer to whichever deity might listen to have some mercy on him.  

It’s at that moment, that Yoochun breaks the ice – with a sledgehammer.

“Can we talk?” Yoochun asks suddenly, eyes searching about the face of the other members, and Jaejoong guesses that even they must hear the seriousness of his voice; as even Junsu pauses at the threshold of his bedroom to stop and turn back. Yet, even though Yoochun had spoken to the group as a whole, he still feels like the words are being spoken to him, loud and ugly against his ears. The feeling causes him to freeze in spot, his eyes glancing over to see Yunho’s face crease with a flicker of concern.

“Yeah, sure.” Yunho says, voice slowing in trepidation, and Jaejoong wallows in feeling of suddenly having the urge to tread on eggshells. “Group meeting then.”

Yoochun nods beside him and starts to make his way over to the sofa where Jaejoong had had his breakdown just that morning. He tries to not look at Yunho as they sit down, not wanting to give anything away. However, he ends up catching Junsu’s eyes as a consequence, and an awkward look of understanding passes between them. 

“So, what’s on your mind?” Yunho asks once they’re all sat down, and a rather painstaking silence has passed between them.

“Ah, well, it’s more… What’s on our mind, right Jaejoong? Junsu?” Yoochun explains, and attempts to not so subtly nudge Jaejoong’s side when he stays quiet with his eyes resolutely glued to the floor.

But there’s no hiding that now, and Jaejoong doesn’t have to look up to see Yunho starring a hole through his head – he can feel it just fine. So, after Junsu gives a rather quick squeak of “yes” as confirmation, Jaejoong begrudgingly plays along, nodding his head.

“So, you’ve been having private conversations?” Yunho asks, his voice doing nothing to mask his obvious displeasure towards the idea – he never did like when Jaejoong hid his feelings from him regarding something that was bothering him, and Jaejoong remembers that fact only too late.

In the past, he would have rose to Yunho’s unintentional bait, and he’d have been off the sofa in a shot, hackles raised right up along with his temper, ready to scream his innocence in the matter. He’d have probably caused an argument, and in the process riled Yunho up right alongside him by demanding to know why he was accusing them of scheming. But he’s not the same quick-tempered princess he was all that time ago, and his temper, along with his sudden bouts of unnecessary jealously, had dampened considerably since their separation. Which is why he manages to keep it calm as Yunho surveys them disapprovingly.

Sadly, Yoochun doesn’t share the same emotional growth as he does right now, and it doesn’t take long for him to bristle beside him, arms coming up to fold across his chest.

“It’s not like that!” Yoochun snaps crisply. “We were just talking about the future, and the best direction to take things.”

“And what was this decision?” Yunho asks calmly, chin lifting in afront. “We’ve spoken about this many times already, and I thought that the decision was to wait a while longer before talking about it again.” He adds, shooting an imploring look their way. “Unless, that is, this isn’t about what I’m thinking it is.”

“It probably is.” Junsu mutters, keeping his head glueed to the table top, the picture of uncomfortable.

“Then tell me!” Yunho says, temper starting to rise as he begins to put two and two together. “Are you that unhappy being here as a group?”

“What? No! Of course we’re not unhappy about that!” Yoochun shouts back, pushing himself to his feet, and glaring at Yunho with venom. “How can you even think that?! When have any of us given you reason to think that us being a group is an issue?!”

“Well you haven’t exactly given me a reason to think that it’s not! What with all these private conversations! You haven’t said a word to me about any of it!” Yunho fires back as he gets to his feet to match Yoochun.

Jaejoong sits quietly, bottom lip catches between his teeth, and hands balled into fists as memories blur together. It’s happening again. If there was ever one memory that stood apart from the rest, bright in colour, and forever burned into his mind with a clarity like no other, then it would be this one. The memory of the first argument. The one that had spelled the beginning of the end. This right now, was the direct parallel of it in all its quick building glory. If he wanted anything to change, then now was the time to make a move – before things escalated further. If he didn’t chip in now, then there would be no saving things.

With that in mind, he takes a deep breath, calms his nerves, and lifts his head.

“Stop, both of you!” He demands, quickly garnering their attention. “We shouldn’t be arguing like this – it’s pointless, and it’s not what any of us wants.”

“But Jaejoo-” Yunho starts, tone lowered, but still sounding irritated with the situation.

“We were wrong not to speak to you about things – I admit that.” Jaejoong ploughs on, offering a remorseful look to Yunho. “We should have spoken about it as a group, and as eldest, I should have known that, and I take responsibility for the fact that we didn’t.” He adds, watching as Yunho’s face smooths out, anger fading into tense agreement. “But let’s forget about that, you can shout at me personally later. For now, can we just talk about things?” He begs, eyes creasing in anguish.

His calm tirade is expectedly met with strained silence, the kind that makes him feel a little embarrassed for a moment. But then Yunho huffs, and lets out a knowing smile, nodding his head. Even Yoochun, the most emotional of them, seems to admit defeat, and cracks a grateful look his way.

“That still doesn’t change the fact that we’re talking about this again.” Changmin cuts in, a solemn look on his face. “It doesn’t change the fact that we’ll be talking about this again in just another few months, weeks even.”

They all seems to deflate a little, more than likely agreeing at the notion, and Jaejoong nervously his lips, and glances about the other members. Would he be pushing it to raise the idea of leaving so quickly? He doesn’t want to rear the protective head of Yunho – at least, not without bringing more convincing arguments to the table first. Maybe he didn’t need to outright convince them that it was the only option. Maybe that had been the problem last time. Maybe he had pushed too hard. If he could just raise it as an option, maybe, just maybe, he could prevent disaster while planting the seed.

“I’m not saying that we should leave, but maybe it’s something to think about…” He says carefully, watching for the reactions from the rest of the members. “But it’s possible that SM might not be the future for TVXQ.”

Immediately Yunho stands up again, a frown marring his face at the idea, and Jaejoong quickly goes to lift his hands up placatingly. It was exactly the reaction he’d expected, and as always, Yunho hadn’t disappointed. If he were to let him, he just knew that Yunho would start to rant about the idea of leaving SM being one of pure stupidity. He’d remind them of the power SM had in the industry, would tell them that they’d be laughed out of the courts if a law suit ensued.

But Jaejoong doesn’t let it happen.

Instead he once again he shoots him a stern look and lowers his hand back down.

“We started this group together. Yes, we had help from SM, they brought us together, gave us the necessary tools to get us started, training included. But we were the ones performing and making connections to our fans to keep supporting us. Don’t you think that’s worth something? Shouldn’t our happiness be preserved?”

“It is worth something.” Yunho tells him, plonking back down to the sofa again, and pressing a hand to his head in thought. “But if things go wrong... What are we going to do? We can’t fight a whole company Jae.”

“I’m not saying we should.” Jaejoong says quietly, keeping his voice resolute. “I just think that it’s something that we should be thinking about. We’re a team, and all of us should be happy.

“So, you’re not saying that we definitely should. It’s more of an idea?” Changmin asks slowly.

“Oh, we definitely should!” Yoochun butts in quickly. “They’re treating us like slaves! Can’t you see that?”

“No, I’m not saying that.” Jaejoong says, attempting to cut Yoochun before his ranting wound Yunho up again. “I just think it’s an option we should consider.”

“Do you want to leave?” Yunho asks ludicrously. “If I outright said no, would you still go through with it?”

Jaejoong pauses at that, wondering how best to answer the question without incurring Yunho’s wrath. It’s a thin line to tread, and saying the wrong thing, pushing too hard, would only land him back at the crossroads of the split once again. He sighs, shaking his head, and sparing a glance to the rest of them.

“If we leave, then we should leave together.” He tells them firmly. “Splitting up... That isn’t an option.” He says sadly and lifts his head up to stare at them all desperately. “Can we... Can we at least agree on that? That we’ll stay together no matter what decision we make? Let’s not separate, we’re much better together.”

“No, we can’t split.” Junsu says quickly, smiling warmly. “You’re right. We all need to be happy, and I think splitting up would only lead to more heartache. Right, Yoochun?”

Yoochun huff’s and folds his arms as all eyes fall to him in expectation.

“I never said we should split up... I don’t want that.” He admits, eyes crumpling sadly. “I just don’t want to be taken advantage of anymore. It’s too much.”

Silence stretches between them again, and Jaejoong wonders just where on earth things would go from here. Had he changed anything? They were tearing at each other now. But at the same time, they hadn’t exactly come to an agreement on anything either – besides the idea that they didn’t want to split from each other.

But hadn’t that always been the case?

He doesn’t remember ever wanting to part from the others. But the waters had muddied to the point where they could no longer see the truth at the bottom of the pool. They’d been so much hate on both sides. So much that the bond which they’d slowly nurtured for years on end had fractured, and they broke away, leaving Yunho, and Changmin, on one side, and JYJ on the other - both without a bridge back to each other.

But maybe this time round, with a little bit of luck, they wouldn’t need that bridge to begin with.

“It’s... It’s definitely something to think about.” Yunho admits softly and scratches the back of his head thoughtfully. “I’m happy that you told me that you were feeling like this again- No, that you’re still feel like this. But I’m even happier that you think staying together is more important. This group... It’s a five-member effort, and I’d like- I want to preserve that. But I understand that it’s important that we're all happy.”

His words seem to satisfy both Junsu, and Yoochun. The two of them smile, and when Yunho spots Yoochun looking a little teary eyed, he gets up to offer him a warm hug, and Yoochun finally lets the flood gates open, apologies falling from his lips like a waterfall.

Emotions rise in Jaejoong’s chest, and he darts his eyes to the floor quickly. This younger version of himself wasn’t used to dealing with such open displays of emotion just yet, and s had been through enough tonight. They didn’t need him blubbering again too...

Still, he lets a more private smile go later that night. Long after the celebratory take-away meal that he buys for them that is. He’s more than eager to go to bed by the time the whole thing is over, wanting nothing more than to get the day over with already. He wants to see if he’s done enough, if this time they’ll be ok.

However, the form beside him, with their arms curled around his stomach, pulling him close, has other ideas.

“Jae?”

Mind half caught between sleep and waking thought, he only manages to push a garbled “hm” past his lips. But it seems enough, and Yunho chuckles at his effort before continuing.

“Leaving SM... Is that what you really want?” He asks, voice wavering with uncertainty, and the words end up being mostly mumbled into the skin at Jaejoong’s neck.

In an effort to keep himself awake a while longer, Jaejoong sleepily blinks a couple of times, letting the question soak into his mind, and leaving a stretch of silence to creep between them. Part of him wonders why Yunho would ask. He’d clearly been against the idea earlier, no amount of preaching about how much he understood that they should all be happy could ever hide that.

Yet, Yunho doesn’t pull the question back, instead he seems to patiently wait for Jaejoong’s answer, arms momentarily holding him tighter, as though to keep him awake.

“Yeah...” He mumbles back sleepily, moving his hands to the ones resting at his stomach. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

-X-

It’s warm, so warm, and comfy. He doesn’t want to open his eyes, and groans as his mind nags at him to get up. He really doesn’t want to though, and rolls over onto his side, nuzzling into the pillows.

However, he pauses after a moment, realising that he’s alone – which is new.

Immediately he springs up, suddenly feeling much more alert as he scans his eyes about the room. It’s not his – at least not the one that he’s used to back in the future. The comprehension of that alone pushes a bubble of disappointment up within his stomach, and he hugs a pillow to his chest sadly. It’s weird, but in a way, he does miss those familiar surroundings.

But if this wasn’t his room, did that mean he had potentially changed the future again?

Hesitantly, he slides off the bed, taking the pillow with him as he goes, and shivers as he feels the chill of the air around him. Why was the room so cold? Confused, he glances around the room, and spies a cosy looking hooded jacket thrown over a chair off to the side of the room, and reaches for it, sliding his arms into it and retracing his steps to grab the pillow again, hugging it close for extra warmth. He passes a large mirror as he heads towards the door and catches sight of a flash of gold in his peripheral vision. He's blonde again, he realises, and smiles to himself, pleased to see that he’s retained his sense of style at least in this timeline, and opens the door, feeling positive for once.

However, he soon stops short at the sight that greets him, pausing at the threshold, and letting the pillow squished to his chest fall to the floor with soft thud.

A cold, sinking, feeling settles in his stomach as he takes in the shocking sight before him. Beer bottles, cans, and shot glasses of all varieties are strewn about the room. Some on the table, some rolling about the floor, and some tipped over across the sofa leaking excess liquid into the material. They look like they’ve been there for a while, days, weeks? He’s not entirely sure, but the room reeks of alcohol, a stench so strong that he has to hold his nose to hide from the smell. Not only that, but the room was dark, dismally dark, curtains drawn shut, almost as though trying to hide the awful sight from the world. Yet, it’s not dark enough to hide to shapes of take-away boxes, plates, and cutlery that are dotted about the kitchen towards the back – again looking like they’ve been sitting there for far too long. A sight that causes even more concern to brew within him.  

But even then, beyond all of that, the worst of all has to be the scene of Yunho sprawled out asleep, half on and half off, the sofa. His mouth hanging open in a way that would have been comical, if it wasn’t for the fact that the situation felt so wrong. His hairs unkept, looking matted even from where he’s standing, and Jaejoong can see the dark shadow of a beard working its way across his face – something that Yunho was normally known for keeping on top of. He normally wouldn’t mind the sight of it, sometimes he even thought that it looked strikingly handsome. But it was the fact that Yunho seemed to disagree and preferred cutting it back that’s got him so concerned, and his face crumples into one of apprehension quickly.

He’s got a terrible feeling that he’s only made thing even worse – something that he’d previously thought wasn’t possible.

So I finally got round to finishing chapter two - I'm so sorry I'm really slow these days. It's not even because I don't know where to take the direction of the plot! I literally have it all written out!

Anyway! I forgot to jot down links to my tumblr before (if anyone's interested)! So you can hit me up at:

Here - for my main blog (taebyte)
Here - for my YunJae side blog (yunjaee)
Either's fine! I frequent both often.

Also super late! But what's everyone thinking to Jae's Japanese activities? I'm so proud of him, he's looking so happy these days, and I love his new songs!