It’s been about a month, month and a half, and I can’t stop thinking about Jihoon. Seeing him in the airport would be one thing to never forget but seeing him in the airport the day after we slept together is another story completely; him staring at me for a moment didn’t help.

            My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing. “Hello?” I answer.

            “Hey, I’m coming over when I’m done working… Just so you know. I’m on my break right now so I’m not ditching just saying.” It’s Eryn. I hear a quiet laugh and then a pause.

            “You okay?”

            “Yeah,” she sighs. “Okay, not going to lie my day just got ruined a bit…”

            “Why?” I ask.

            “Wasn’t fully prepared but got my period a day early… So now I just feel bleh.” I know the feeling, I laugh to myself.

            “Alright, I’ll see you later. Just called to let you know I’m coming over later.”

            “Okay, bye,” I hang up and place my phone down.

            Wait. When did I last-?

            I can feel myself starting to panic. I pick up my phone again and quickly call Eryn back.

            “Eryn!” I practically yell when she answers the phone call.

            “What?! What happened?”

            “I think I have a problem…” I tell her, starting to cry.

            “Wait, are you crying?” she whispers.

            “Yeah… I may have a problem…” I tell her honestly.

            “What kind of problem?” she asks.

            “Ummm… I don’t know how to say this,” I try to find words. Tears are now streaming down my face. “Remember when we went to see Wanna One in New York?”

            “Yeah?” her voice trails off slightly.

            “Remember my… uhh… walk-of-shame?” I sigh at the memory again. I’m embarrassed to talk about this.

            “Yes?”

            “I’m late…”

            “Do you mean-?” she starts her question but doesn’t finish it.

            “I think I might be pregnant.” It finally dawned on me.

            “Okay, are you sure you’re not just late? How late are you right now?”

            “Like, two weeks… I’m never late so I’m just assuming but I’m freaking out…” I’m full on sobbing, speaking between sobs.

            “Okay if you’re really worried you might be pregnant, I’ll bring a test with me when I come over in a couple hours, okay?”

            “Thank you,” I try to wipe away the endless stream of tears falling from my eyes. She tells me she has to go back to work and hangs up after saying goodbye. I hug my knees to my chest and just let the tears fall.

            I’m not going to lie, I’m scared right now. Never did I think that this would happen… One; I didn’t think I’d be pregnant until after I got married, two; I didn’t think my baby would grow up without a father that lives on the opposite side of the planet.

            There is the possibility that I’m not pregnant but I honestly doubt that.

            The few hours I wait for Eryn to come over feels like eternity and I have not stopped crying yet. I can’t seem to control my tears at all. I also can’t shake the panicky, scared feeling.

            “I’m here,” Eryn speaks. I didn’t even hear the door or her actually walk into the house.

            “Thank goodness,” I whisper to myself before turning to face her.

            “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here sooner,” she apologizes.

            “You had to work, I wouldn’t expect you to leave work early just because I may have put myself in an unideal situation or anything… If you were to leave early, it’s because you said you felt bleh.”

            “Now I’m feeling anxious…” she says.

            “I’ll be right back,” I take the small shopping bag from her as I know there’s only one item in it. I walk away from the living room to the bathroom and my heart starts beating even faster. This makes me so anxious.

            I walk out of the bathroom after several minutes. “Well?”

            “I didn’t look yet,” I tell her honestly.

            “What? Don’t you want to know?” she asks. She’s not wrong but I’m too scared to know the answer to this very serious question.

            “I do but I can’t look… I’m too scared,” I whisper.

            “It’s okay to be scared. I think, first, you should find out if you are pregnant and then go from there,” she advises.

            I take a deep breath before looking at the result. It starts back at me, intimidating. I look up again at my friend. “I’m pregnant.”

            “Seriously?” she asks and I turn the test towards her.

            “Yeah…”

            “You do know who the father is right?” she jokes and I can tell it’s to try and lighten the mood.

            “Of course I do! I’m not a ,” I playfully glare.

            “I mean…”

            I gasp. “Hey!”

            “Kidding,” Eryn defends. “Did you get his number? Whoever he is…”

            “No, but even if I did have his phone number, I wouldn’t be able to call him…” I look down at my feet.

            “Why?”

            “Because I can’t make long distance calls with my phone plan, for one,” I chuckle.

            “I’m confused… Where is this guy from? You never told me anything about what happened.”

            “But that’s what makes it a secret,” I force a laugh as I sit on the couch once again and hug my knees to my chest. “I’m embarrassed, okay? I haven’t stopped thinking about what happened for, like, the month and a half we’ve been back and now I have no way of getting in contact with my child’s father to even tell them that they’ll be a father…”

            “It happens. You’re not the only one in the world in this situation so don’t beat yourself up,” Eryn reminds me. “It’s not ideal but it happens…”

            “Thanks,” I mumble. “I mean, I probably wouldn’t even tell him because it would cause a lot of drama and probably end his career,” I mumble to myself.

            “Who is this guy?” , Eryn heard that. Why did I have to speak that aloud?

            “You wouldn’t believe me,” I sigh.

            “C’mon, I’m your friend. Sorry, correction; best friend,” she corrects herself.

            “But you still wouldn’t believe me if I told you who the father was…” I still don’t believe it so telling someone else, she’ll think I’m crazy… Crazier than she probably already thinks. “You’ll think I’m crazy.”

            “I already think you’re crazy, so what’s new?” she teases sarcastically.

            “I still don’t believe it myself so that’s why you wouldn’t believe me,” I chuckle quietly as I rest my chin on my arms.

            “Please just tell me.”

            I sigh as I mentally prepare myself to admit aloud who the father of my child is and why I can’t tell him. “It’s Park Jihoon.”

            “What?! Are you serious?!”

            “I told you, we were at the same hotel as Wanna One… When I got lost, I quite literally ran into him. We hung out for a while and then, somehow, one thing led to another and here we are. Jihoon’s getting a kid he won’t even know exists because I have no way to tell him.”

            “That’s why he stared at you in the airport!” I nod. “He recognized you and was probably shocked to see you in the crowd as a fan. You didn’t tell him you were a fan, did you?”

            “It didn’t come up,” I tell her. “We just talked like he was a regular, ordinary person…”

            “Okay, I have another question. Who made the first move? You?”

            “No, he kissed me first and I didn’t stop him.”

            “Dude! You need to find a way to tell him somehow though...” she says.

            “Are you crazy? I have no way to tell him.”

            “We could go to Korea and find him,” she suggests. That sounds crazier than the situation I’m in right now.

            “You’re crazy,” I tell her.

            “I’m not pregnant with Park Jihoon’s baby,” she counters.

            “Touché,” I sigh.

            “We could totally go to try and find him, and I mean, if you got in touch with Jihoon, maybe I’d get to meet Daniel,” she speaks, sounding slightly sarcastic but I know for a fact that she’d love to just talk to Daniel; not even as a fan.

            “It’d be so awkward,” I hide my face.

            “I get that, but Jihoon deserves to know about his child,” she speaks honestly and I know she’s right.

            “This is not going to end well but it’s worth a shot.” I agree that Jihoon should know but it’ll be so hard to try and contact him.

            And a new adventure begins...