Park Jihyo, born Febuary 1 1997, the leader of Korea's Girl Group TWICE. It had been 3 years since her debut as the a member and leader of TWICE and 13 years since she joined JYP Entertaintment. She's 21 years old and has spent almost half her life training. Her career as a TWICE member probably won't even surpass her time training with the standard 7 year artist contract at JYP. But it's worth it, being the leader of one of the most influencial girl groups in KPop history was worth it, even if it meant that most of her life was wasted. It was worth it. She was worth it. Right?

"I am worth something" 

That is the last thing Jihyo tells herself every night before she sleeps at night, and the first thing she tells herself in the morning after she wakes up. Despite being famous and loved worldwide by countless of people of all age, race and ethnicity, Jihyo couldn't shake the feeling that she felt empty inside and absolutely worthless. 

Jihyo spent most of her life training. This meant that she had most of her childhood taken away from her. Instead of a happy, normal childhood filled with going out with friends and quality time with family was instead spent it in the JYPE building training, singing, dancing, all in the hope that she would debut one day. She did this for 10 years, and everyday the hope of getting to debut became less and less and her self worth started decreasing, and a voice started forming in her head.

"Am I not good enough?"

"Am I ugly?"

"Is something wrong with me?" 

"What's wrong with me?"

As time passed, she was given promise after promise by the company, but all of them were broken. She was going to ebut in a group called 6Mix, but it fell through. She was going to debut as an actor, but it fell through. She was going to be a solo artist, and it fell through. Time after time she was let down, the only thing keeping her there was the promised fame and her friends, Nayeon and Jeongyeon, who promised went through what she went through. But what do they know, they've only been here recently, they haven't been here as long as her, they don't know the pain Jihyo has been through.

And then it happened, SIXTEEN. A survival show between sixteen JYPE contestants to debut in a girl group. Jihyo knew this was probably her last chance to debut. She was confident that she would make it, she's been here the longest and probably the best. She was again wrong. She was put in Minor group, which shattered her self worth and made her doubt her ability. She was called overweight, which made her doubt her appearance and made her think she was ugly. Her sense of self worth was shattered when trainees like Chaeyoung who were younger than her made it into Major, and trainees who just entered like Mina gained more support than her.

When it was announced that she would be in the final line up of TWICE, she was ecstatic. She made it. Park Jihyo, the girl who trained for 10 years has made it. That night she cried, hard. All her years of hard work had paid off. Except her happiness was short lived. When she was revealed to be the leader, reactions online were negative.

"She's so fat"

"She can't even sing"

"She probably got in because JYP pitied her"

Those comments absolutely demolished her already weak self esteem. And she cried, not tears of joy like the previous night, but tears of absolute misery. Despite this, all her other 8 members told her she was worth it, that she deserved to be there. But she coudn't shake the feeling that they were being fake and that they were only saying it to be kind.

Despite this, Jihyo still tried her best. She still sang her best, danced her best, and put on her biggest brightest smile in front of fans and on stage. She contiued this facade for 3 years, all the way till their newest comeback Dance the Night Away. After 3 years full of hardship, and other members over shadowing her, she finally did it, she finally received attention, not just from her loving fans, but from the public as well.

"She's such a great singer"

"She's so pretty"

"GOD JIHYO!!"

For once in her life, she felt loved, and it was great. Maybe being famous wasn't so bad after all, but it wouldn't last. Before long, her feelings of worthlessness came back. Despite all her fans loved, there were always the haters that would little by little wat away at her self confidence. 

Jihyo decided to seek help after she saw the JYP 2.0 conference. She decided to go the the therapist that worked at the JYPE office, hoping the therapist would help her, but she didn't. All the therapist told her was that she was suffering from depression and that it could've stemmed from her wasted childhood. The therapist gave her some pills and sent her on her way. 

Jihyo took those pills, but they didn't really seem to work. They gave her more energy for sure, but it didn't change the voice in the back of her head that tells her she's worthless.

These feelings continued till their break came about and Jihyo decided to head home and go camping with her family. While with her family, she felt normal, happy even. She felt worth while and it seemed that she could do anything. It was a beautiful feeling. When she came home, instead of her happiness fading like usual, it stayed. Maybe those pills were having a positive effect on her. She greeted her maknae and favourite member Tzuyu with her biggest smile.

"Hello Tzuyu~"

"Hi unnie! Welcome back!"

Jihyo then entered each of her members room and dropped them a gift that she bought for them on her trip, along with an encouraging note and telling them she loved them. After that, she went to the shower.

"Tzuyu ah, I'm gonna go take a bath"

"Okay unnie"

She turned the tap on waited for it to fill the bathtub. She dropped some soap and bath bombs and lighted some scented candles before getting into the bathtub. In that moment she felt at peace again. It was great. While in the bathtub, she was so at peace. She was felt in complete serenity with herself. She felt she was worth something

"Let youself go" The voice said to her

"Okay" Jihyo replied

5 minutes passed and a small orange bottle hit the floor with a hollow thud.

"Jihyo unnie? You've been in there for a while now? You okay?" Tzuyu asked, knocking on the door

Tzuyu recived no reponse. Simple because she Jihyo couldn't hear, as she had become worthless again