Baekhyun is about to lose it. He can’t take it anymore. And that is exactly the reason why he’s now sitting over his bed with a messed hair, wearing a white shirt and grey track pants. A pillow is over his lap as his legs are crossed, and holding his phone wherein the chatroom between him and the girl is active on the glowing screen.

The last time they talked was seven days ago and it was him asking if she was coming to UNI, only to receive a short reply of ‘No, sorry.’

Even before that point, Baekhyun knew something is wrong. She wasn’t staying back in UNI like she always did, she doesn’t wait for him anymore and leaves before his classes finished. It made him feel uneasy but he didn’t want to come to conclusions so quickly because something might’ve just happened. He hoped she would tell him soon, only to find out that it is actually him that is the problem.

After staring at the screen for nearly half an hour, Baekhyun begins to type the words he’s been wanting to tell her: I miss you. But even before the spur of the moment leads Baekhyun to hit send, he thinks better of what he’s about to do and decides that these words are meant to be said personally, with him in front of her, where she can hear every bit of sincerity in his voice and that of from his eyes.

Just before he gets to set his phone aside, the device’s screen lights up, receiving a phone call from Chanyeol. The male takes the call and puts over his ear and answers nonchalantly.

“Everyone is gathering at my place this Saturday night. You coming?”

Baekhyun frowns. “Everyone?”

Chanyeol hums, confirming what he said. He even goes to the extent of mentioning the name of the girl he’s ever so affected about that she’s coming. “I just talked to her.”

“What’s going on in Saturday?”

“Just the usual hangout with everyone. Nothing in particular.” Baekhyun remains silent until he asks again, “So, you coming?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun comes to a decision. He’s going to go. She’s there. He has to be there.

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do.

It’s been nearly an hour since he arrived but he has done nothing apart from fidgeting and stealing glances of her. He still hasn’t found the guts to approach her. He’s been wanting to but should he? What if she walks away again? What if—

“Just go to her.” Baekhyun snaps away from his thoughts as Chanyeol urges. The tall male takes a seat next to him at the couch. He nudges the former’s arm then reaches towards the table for some chips. “Your eyes are speaking volume of just how much you want to talk to her.”

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything to that. Instead, he looks away and unintentionally lets out a sigh. He’s worried and nervous. He wants to approach her but he’s scared. He doesn’t want to feel what he did when she walked away from him like the last time.

“I don’t want that smile to vanish once I come over.” He mutters dolefully after a minute of silence from him.

Chanyeol catches that and turns to him with wide eyes, slightly astounded to hear such fear from his long-time friend. “But you miss her, don’t you?”

Baekhyun doesn’t take more than a second upon answering that from the bottom of his heart. “More than I should.”

“Then go to her.” The tall man pushes. “You wouldn’t want to regret anything, would you?”

He looks at his friend carefully and he sees optimism and hope that is enough for him to feel courageous.

So at that, he presses his lips together in contemplation as he puts his eyes on his favourite girl. He sees her scoop herself some of her favourite ice cream from the tub she’s holding. She’s giggling amidst of pressing the spoon between her lips. Doeun is sitting next to her while Shin and Jongdae are in front of her. She’s probably laughing at the joke or story one of them had said but it didn’t really matter to Baekhyun. What matters more to him is how her eyes are shining and she’s glowing. Her smile is so bright and the way her eyes curve happily… he has no words. He’s glad he can see that smile— that smile that he missed seeing so much and it is that is the kind of smile Baekhyun wants to give to her. He wants her to smile like that with him, carefree, relaxed, and buoyant. They used to be like that. That’s how they were until she started distancing herself from him and for a reason he, himself, doesn’t know about. What did he do? He wishes he would know because then, he’ll know what can he do to make it right.

Whatever it is, Baekhyun vows to make things right. He can’t survive any time longer with her being like this with him. He can’t.

So for the following fifteen minutes, his eyes don’t leave her figure and it’s only when she’s alone at the kitchen he decides to approach her. He stands up from the couch with a can of drink in his hand. He saunters over the area and quietly approaches her from behind as she washes the spoon she used after putting the tub of her unfinished ice cream back in the freezer.

Baekhyun’s heart is pounding hard as he gets closer and closer to her. Her presence is so big and as much as it feels so disorienting for him, he chooses to go on because anything otherwise can drive him insane. He misses her so much and he just wants to rest his heart on her. Hopefully she’ll let him because he only wants her and no one else. Maybe, he really does like her more than he thought he does.

In a swift, the girl turns and gets slightly startled at his silent presence behind her. Baekhyun looks at her with shaky eyes, nervous that she would push him away or even avoid him again. But then, he feels lucky and relieved to receive a soft smile from her. She dries her hands with a kitchen towel and hangs it. She asks with her soft and soothing voice, “Are you looking for something?”

He shakes his head and leans against the counter next to her. He looks at her and he’s glad to still see the brightness in her gaze.

“Are you okay?” He hears her ask, probably finding his silence strange. “Do I have something on my face? You’re staring.”

No. There is nothing in her face. There is something about her face that he can’t help but just stare and get lost in her eyes. He almost forgets about everything until he snaps out of it and clears his throat. He looks away briefly before blinks to make eye-contact with her. There is anxiety in his voice when he responds to all her questions with a question, “Are we… Are we okay?”

At that, the girl smiles again and it’s a smile that she knows why he asked that question. She doesn’t pretend to be oblivious. To Baekhyun, it is a both reassuring and sorry smile. He notices some resistance and regret too.

If there is one thing Baekhyun is so proud about, he can read through her expressions and the little things that came with it. But he wishes to know more. In particular there is one thing he wants to know and that is, why?

“We’re okay, Baekhyun.” She answers, much to his relief. He feels like he could breathe now. So, they’re okay. They’re okay. Thank god they are.

“I just thought… I did something and you were mad at me.” Before she can say anything, he quickly follows that up with, “It’s just that you haven’t talked to me properly for the past weeks. You haven’t properly looked at me either. It almost felt like…” Baekhyun pauses and the girl sees the longing in his eyes, “we were strangers again.”

She shakes her head. “I’m sorry.” She begins, sincerely apologising from her behaviour. “And no, you didn’t do anything wrong.” She looks away and stares up of nowhere in particular as she continues, “I just thought I needed some distance.”

He looks at her intently and hopes that she looks back at him. He doesn’t understand. Distance? From who? Him? But why? He’s about to explode in anxiety due to cluelessness and he’s afraid he can’t handle it any longer. But then, she turns to look at him and meets his gaze before she continues quietly.

“Some distance from you before we get too close to take some steps back. Before people misinterpret our relationship.” Her eyes are telling him so much more, like there is so much hidden within it but at the moment, Baekhyun can’t make anything out of it as he tries his best to process and comprehend her reasons. Her eyes look scared, sorry and sad. It breaks his heart. But before the ambiance falls too heavy and melancholy for either of them, she breathes out as she looks away and then, she flashes a smile upon landing her eyes back at him again. “But it’s okay now.” She says. He doesn’t fail to notice the tightness of that curve in her lips. “I missed you, Baekhyun.” Baekhyun blinks, speechlessness taking over him. Taking his silence as negative, she bites her bottom lip and asks unsurely, “Did you... miss me... too?”

Surge of emotions hit Baekhyun but above all, he feels that his heart is too tight for him. He can’t breathe anymore. He can’t take it anymore. He just wants to hold her. Thus, he doesn’t think twice when he sets his can on the counter and pulls the girl to his embrace. He wraps his arms around her tight, warm and secure. He missed her so much and he feels like he can breathe now. And he fully does so when he feels her hands over his back, returning the hug, letting herself rest on him. She isn’t away. She’s here. With him.

It is natural for Baekhyun to rest his head on her shoulder, and nuzzle his face on the crook of her neck. Her scent has now reached his nose, reminding him that her presence isn’t just in his dreams every night anymore. Unconsciously, he tightens his hold of her, not wanting to let her go. His eyes are shut, feeling every second that passes as they stay in this position. He is hugging her for all the days that passed when she was away from him. Now he understands. He understands what his brother said about how distance can only make the heart grow fonder when the latter was talking to him about how he misses his fiance who had to be overseas for work. He never really understood that until now. Because the mere distance that he and the girl had only makes him even more sure of his feeling and affections for her.

Unsure for how many minutes now have passed, it didn’t matter as much to him because he knows he can’t get enough of her. And he is more than glad that she doesn’t object nor she pushes him away. He’s glad she let herself melt in his embrace and when he feels her fingers playing with his locks, Baekhyun lifts his head up and turns so his lips grazes over her ear. He remembers the words she said earlier and whispers, “Don’t. Don’t distance yourself from me. I want you close. To me and not anyone else.”

Selfish, is it? But at that point, the male doesn’t care anymore if he sounds as such because he is selfish. He can be selfish when it is her they’re talking about. For the past weeks, he feels like he lost so much and somehow, he has to do something to make up for every end of the day he missed her. When she isn’t saying anything, he pulls his head back so he can look at her but doesn’t let go of her yet. Gosh, how much he missed her beautiful features.

Her face scrunches softly as she responds, “People will think we’re together if we do that. We’ve gotten too close.” She states. “It’s not a good impression to the girls. Especially to the girl you like.” She pats her hands over his back and jokes, “You might not get yourself a girlfriend.”

Baekhyun holds her even tighter and their faces are close. Maybe too close but neither of them moves away. “Then let them think that. They don’t matter. You do.” He really hopes that she can feel how true these words from him are. “You’re more important to me.” He tucks a strand of her loose hair behind her ear. “You’re the most precious to me.”

“Are you sure?” She asks then attempts to throw in some tease to lift the mood up. “More precious than your future girlfriend?”

Baekhyun frowns, unsure how to respond to that because all this while, though he doesn’t when it started, it is her that he wants to be his future girlfriend. He really can’t imagine someone else but her.

His silence must’ve gone far too long, not to mention the expression he had didn’t help, as the girl retracts, “I’m kidding, Baekhyun.”

He knows he hasn’t got a moment to lose so before she walks away from him again, he affirms, “I am sure. Very.” He hugs her again, saying, “No more avoiding again, okay?” When he hears no answer, he tightens his arms around her and shakes her gently as he (almost) whines, “The days you did were the hardest for me…”

She chuckles. “Were they?”

He hums and she knows that’s a yes. “No more.” He resolutes firmly, the same time, making a promise to himself that, that isn’t going to happen again.

“Okay.” The girl complies, much to his delight.

Pulling back from the embrace, he takes a moment to take a good look of her face again. The sound of her chuckle replays inside his head. “I missed that.”

“What? My awkward laugh?”

Baekhyun bobs his eyebrows with a smile, eliciting a giggle from her. Though, he doesn’t think her laugh is awkward. It’s cute. It’s adorable. He loves it. And that gesture he just did only makes her laugh even more and it sounds so serene.

So, at that moment, Baekhyun makes a promise to himself. That moment, he promises to make her so happy that he will get to hear her laugh so often. Every day. Every moment that he is with her, there will be no time she won’t smile, or even better, laugh.

The start of the following starts differently for Baekhyun. He goes to their usual area after attending his lecture on a Monday that finishes at twelve. It takes him approximately six minutes to walk to their spot and there, he quickly spots Jongdae, Chanyeol, Raeen and his favourite girl. Jongdae is the first to notice his presence and bobs his head at him. He responds to that and then, his eyes quickly travel back towards the girl who had her head down, fishing something from her bag and stands up, still having his presence unnoticed.

Chanyeol and Raeen soon realises his arrival, nodding their heads as the former calls out his name. It is only then she looks up and meets Baekhyun’s gaze, then a smile paints her lips and moves out of the table. He stops and his eyebrows furrow, thinking she is going to leave again now that he’s arrived. But then, she stands in front of him before she completely walks past him and shows up her purse. “I’m just going to get everyone lunch. Do you want anything?” She asks.

The scary thought is quick to leave his system and breathes out in relief. He clears his throat and makes contact with her eyes again as he answers, “Wait here. I’ll come with you.” At her nod, he moves to place his bag down and tells everyone that he will be going with her, which really is no surprise to any of them. Then, he walks back to her and places his hand on her lower back, guiding her and also keeping her close to his side.

On the way, Baekhyun asks the her why is she the one getting food for everyone, being genuinely curious. The girl answers with an embarrassed face, telling him that she is bored and doesn’t have anything to do, as she is pretty ahead. Baekhyun can’t help but feel proud. Albeit he knew how serious she is when it comes to her academics, she always managed to give herself some break every after the period she works hard.

They are standing before a burger place and she is looking up at the menu, contemplating which kind of burger she should get when she is asked, “What are you getting?”

“I don’t know yet.” She answers softly. “I don’t know if I want the Wagyu Cheese burger or the Fish Burger.” She then wonders, “What are you getting?”

“I’m getting the Wagyu Cheese, but without the pickles.”

“Okay, then I might just get the Fish Burger and then the sweet potato fries.”

Baekhyun chuckles at her fondly. “Okay, stay here. I’ll order.”

“Wait—” She stops when she sees him raising his eyebrow. She hands a card and a paper from the pocket of her jacket. “Chanyeol gave me his card. He said it’s on him. The list of what they want is on the paper too.”

“Okay, I’ll get more then!” He claims playfully, making her laugh as he takes the card.

But upon ordering, Baekhyun decides to make two orders. One for Chanyeol and the rest, and the other for him and for the girl. People can say it’s a matter of pride or whatever, it doesn’t really matter for him. All he knows is that, he wants to be the one spending on the girl. He can’t let another man, or another person at that, to pay for her when he’s there and can do it himself. He wants to pay for her because he just simply cares for her. He wants to be that person for the girl. Only if she’ll let him, really.

Waiting for their take away order doesn’t take very long, that around twenty minutes later they are back to their spot with food for everyone. Placing the paper bags on the table, everyone shuts their laptop down and puts away the papers to the side to give space. She is busy distributing the food when Baekhyun tells Chanyeol to move one seat down, after placing down the bottle of drinks, so he can sit next to her. The tall man smirks at that but stands up anyway, grabbing his bag to put it on another chair.

About to sit, her eyes widen, a little surprised that Chanyeol is not the one sitting next to her anymore. Smiling at the new person, her eyes land on the other man to give back his card. Her gaze returns back to Baekhyun, “Let’s eat?”

The male nods and unconsciously moves his seat closer to the girl’s side, minimising the distance in between. The two other males snigger while the Raeen giggles, enjoying the scene. Luckily, the girl is busy unwrapping her burger and grabbing one of sweet potato fry that she doesn’t notice them. Swallowing the chips, she looks up and asks everyone, “Shin has a class today, doesn’t she?”

Jongdae answers, “Yeah, but only a lecture at 2.”

“She won’t come for the lecture though.” Raeen follows. “But she’ll come in to prepare for her prac tomorrow.” She checks her phone. “I think she’ll come just in time when Yeol and I are in class. Or maybe even earlier.”

At that, she nods, completely paying attention and understanding— another thing that Baekhyun admires from her, even before he got the chance to meet her. She always pays attention to the things her friends say, may they be saying random things or they’re telling a story or opinion about something even if she’s busy doing something. He remembers those times whenever she always puts her pen down and listens to what her colleague was saying and then continues studying when she was not part of the conversation anymore. But then, they know she’s still listening because she speaks at times when she has to say something.

The guys are busy talking about the plans for their next night out, including Raeen. Everyone knows that among them, she is not the type of girl who is into going out at night. But there would be times, where she would join them and although she doesn’t come always, everyone in the squad is glad of her open-mindedness, despite her being so uptight at such situations and places. Though, they understand. She’s extremely introvert, which explains her quietness and fondness of being alone, to the extent she would go and travel alone instead of coming with friends. But somehow, she manages to get along with all of them, after all, although she is that type, she is friendly and can be welcoming too.

Just as she is finished with her burger, she is drinking her drink when someone calls out her name, catching everyone’s attention and precisely, Baekhyun’s. He’ll never forget that face, that man. He’s the same one she was talking to at the car park last time, the same time where he felt so jealous and realised just how much he really likes her. His gaze is snatched again when he hears her call his name out delightfully and falls into stupefaction when she stands up from her seat and sprints to give the male a hug. He’s dumbfounded to see how close they are and insecurity is quick kick up in his stomach. He feels hurt, seeing that because for him, it took him months to get that close to her. But now, here he sees her, hugging another man who she just met. He’s seen him a lot around the campus but he didn’t really. He didn’t care until now.

As though the pang of jealousy that has hit him isn’t enough, his face turns sour as he sees her smiling so brightly at him and the way she’s looking at that man as he’s talking, like she wants to remember all of sides of his face, irritates him so much. But he can’t even do anything. In fact, he can’t even say anything because Baekhyun knows to himself that he is just her good friend. And now, even the wind the comes around knows just how much he hates that. Friend? He doesn’t want to be just her friend. He wants to be more but what if that will be the reason she’ll drift even farther from him? She already did just for the mere reason they were getting too close that she feared people might get the wrong impression of them. And though Baekhyun doesn’t care, she does and that’s what is stopping him. He feels like he is stepping on the edge: should he just do it and confess, instead of just imagining them together or should he not? With the latter, there is a security that he can keep what they have now, even if it means not going anywhere beyond that. He doesn’t want to lose her but that also means, he can’t be hers. He can’t express his real affection for her in the way he fully wants and he knows that is going to drive him crazy.

It isn’t until they are walking towards their table, Baekhyun snaps out of it. He leans back and his face is already stoic, not really wanting to look at them together. He meets Chanyeol’s eyes and by his gaze, the latter knows that now isn’t the time to push anything. So the tall male straightens himself, acting like nothing is up and looks at the pair, along with the two others.

“This is Sehun.” She introduces. Gesturing towards everyone one by one, she continues, “He is Chanyeol. This is Jongdae. And she is Raeen.” Sehun nods at everyone, greeting them.

“Oh, I know him.” Raeen announces casually then corrects herself, “Well, I’m familiar with him.” She turns to the newly introduced male, “You were in my tute for Crim last year— second sem, weren’t you?”

Sehun nods, recognising her. The girl is amazed. “Yeah. Are you still doing it?”

Raeen scrunches her face, “Nah, it’s not for me.”

The male chuckles, while the girl finishes the introductions, “And there is Baekhyun.”

He nods but Baekhyun barely moves as he curtly returns the nod. It doesn’t impress the girl but sets that aside when she turns again to Sehun. “Is your friend coming soon?”

“Yeah, I think, actually. He said he would be here in 5 mins. I just got the message when I got here. And then I saw you, can’t help but say ‘Hi’.”

She smiles. “I see.”

“I might meet him at the cafeteria.” He adds. “I’m kind of hungry.”

She giggles. “Okay, I’ll see you at class.”

“Of course.” Sehun glances at everyone and politely smiles before taking his leave.

He is out of the area when the girl turns back to his seat. Baekhyun takes his back off the chair and collects everyone’s rubbish, not glancing at her at all. He stands up and heads to the bin, taking a breather after. He feels like his heart is about to explode and he doesn’t even know what to do with it. He just feels pissed and… not okay.

“Baek.” He hears someone call. He moves his head to the side and sees that it is Shin coming. He stands upright. “You okay?”

“I guess.” He mutters.

“What happened?” She asks. “I thought you guys have made up.”

Baekhyun immediately looks at her, knowing exactly at who she is referring to. “Yeah.” He grumbles. “We did.”

Shin has a confused look on her face. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Yeah.” He answers curtly.

No more is needed at that. “Baekhyun, what’s wrong?” Shin questions, genuinely concerned.

“I hate it.” He grunts with frustration and pain and helplessness. “I hate it so much.”

“You know you got to talk to me more so that I can understand.”

So Baekhyun breathes out and starts, “I thought after that Saturday night, we’re okay. That things will go back to the way it used but now, I don’t even know anymore.” Biting the inside of his cheeks, he continues, “Some Sehun guy came and her face lit up so brightly like she was so delighted to see him. She hugged him and in a way I wish she did during the first few months we met. But damn, I didn’t even get close to that. It took me so long to get through her heart and seeing someone who just came in so easily like that, it makes me so angry. So…”

“Insecure?” Shin finishes that it shuts up the male. She knows she’s hit it spot on.

“Yes.” Baekhyun admits. What’s the point of lying now anyway? But when she laughs at that, it begins to irk him until he realises it’s not a mocking laugh.

“Baekhyun you know, I can see that you really like her. So much. You didn’t even act like this when you said you liked me. When I rejected you, you took it nicely. Personally, I’m thankful of that.” She stands next to him, leaning her back against the bar he’s leaning on too. “But you know, there are things you have to risk for the better. Have you told her?” She asks. “The fact that she makes you all crazy like this?”

He looks away and answers in a quiet voice. “No.”

“Then why don’t you do that?”

“It’s not easy as you think it is. I don’t want to lose her.”

“Is it really?” Shin questions with all seriousness. “Is it really that difficult? Confessing to her is scarier than losing her just because of the fact that you chose not to do anything with your feelings with her right now?”

Baekhyun’s face is blank, simply in daze, processing what his friend pointed out.

Giving him enough time process at least the bare minimum, she continues, “Frankly, if I were you, I’d take on the risk of losing her because I did everything I can than losing her because I choose to keep chickening out. Don’t lose the chance you still have now.”

Silence finds Baekhyun.

Before she leaves to give him a moment to process everything, she pats his shoulder. “Think about it, Baekhyun. I’m going to go ahead and see others. See you again in a bit.”

He nods at that and follows her figure absentmindedly, his thoughts running towards the girl he likes so much. Then, he looks away and takes a deep breath before looking up to nowhere as he gathers his thoughts.

Should he? Is he ready? Ready for anything that’s going to happen?

“Are you okay?” The girl finally breaks out to Baekhyun as they head towards the exit of the building. Everyone is walking ahead of them and the girl purposely lags behind to walk next to him.

Since he came back at their table, he barely said anything. He is so quiet to the point she felt uncomfortable. That isn’t Baekhyun’s intention but he can’t just look at her. Because every time he does, his thoughts fly everywhere because he keeps getting lost in her gaze. He’s a lovesick puppy who doesn’t know what to do because she is that precious to him. He knows that and he feels like that!

“I mean, is everything okay?” She asks again, seeing how he keeps his silence.

Baekhyun stops from his steps and holds her back. She is looking at him through her lashes with gloomy eyes, filled with concern and worry. His heart aches to see that and more, he’s the reason for it. “Yes, we’re okay.” Uncertain, he looks at her eyes deeper. “You’re not going to avoid me again, right?” Afraid that she might again because of his behaviour.

She shakes her head. “No, Baekhyun. I’ll be here for as you want me to be.” She smiles, making it so tempting for him to press his lips against her soft ones. But he holds himself back, not wanting to shock her and also because he respects her.

“Okay so then, let me take you to dinner? Take up the offer you passed from last time.” He says, remembering her promise.

“Okay.” She nods. “I’m totally fine with that.”

Baekhyun smiles, obviously delighted. “Perfect.”

Over the past month since they were introduced to each other, Baekhyun, unknowingly, was over the moon than he thought to know more about her, and the best part of it was that he was just not relying on his observations of her. He got to hear her voice clearer and closer, he got to see how she actually does her studies, what major she does, and he got to know from what food and kind of movies she likes and dislikes. The friendship grew to the point Baekhyun found himself waiting for her classes to finish whenever his finished first. If not, he would find himself messaging her so he could see her after class. At times, she would be with their friends, and for the other times, she would be in the library and stay there to finish her assignment. Baekhyun would then choose to join her. He wouldn’t disturb her though. He would just be there, so she has some company and also because... he simply just wanted to.

On the second and last week of their mid-semester break, the ladies and gentlemen decided to go down by the beach before the weather would get too cold. She wasn’t going to go initiallyㅡ given how she always had been a home buddy. For her, her time was best spent alone, in her room, either reading or watching movies and series. And more than, she felt like she shouldn’t be there because it was their outing. She only just recently became part of the group and she didn’t want to intrude. But Baekhyun couldn’t let that happen. He wanted her to come. She had to be there. After all, it would be their first outing since they met. She couldn’t miss out. Besides, all the planning was made with everyone in mind. So she had to come. That’s why with the combining powers of the boys and girls, particularly the male, she decided to go. Not that all that and much convincing was needed anyway.

Bonfire. Perhaps, of all that happened, from playing beach volleyball, to fun water games, splashing, going at casual restaurants for lunch, this would be her favourite, her highlight. The best part.

She was sitting by the fire with a safe distance, while everyone else was busy. Minseok was busy getting drinks for everyone and then there was Chanyeol getting his guitar ready as the girls, apart from Shin, were already drunk singing, already hyped to jam. Her and Shin were sitting silently with fond smiles on their faces as the latter teased them about being too excited when nothing in particular has started. Meanwhile, Jongdae was laughing aside, while grilling sticks of hotdog. Joonmyeon, on the other hand, was out to the toilet with Baekhyun.

“Drink?”

Tearing her gaze from the three figures, she looked up and saw Minseok holding out a red cup towards her with his signature smile.

He probably saw hesitance in her eyes and disclosed something, making her laugh, “Don’t worry, it’s soda.”

“Thank you.” She said politely, accepting the drink regardless.

Minseok nodded and gave a cup to Shin before sitting on his spot, next to Jongdae and Raeen. Just then, Baekhyun came back from the toilet and naturally took the space next to the girl as his seat, coming in between her and Shin. They glanced to each other with a smile.

The event began with Jongdae calling for everyone’s attention. They began playing games and having fun, forgetting about the worries of the world for the night. It was fun. For Baekhyun and for her. And then it came to a round where one of them would ask a question they have been dying or just really curious to ask to another. Minseok started it off by asking Joonmyeon a funny but strange question, making everyone laugh. Then, it was Joonmyeon’s, Raeen’s, Jongdae’s, Doeun’s and then Chanyeol’s turn. He called Baekhyun and everyone went silent to hear his question for the latter.

“Are you really over with your feelings for Shin?”

In a snap, the girl’s head was quick to turn towards the guy, who looked had his mouth agape. He was caught off-guard. Everyone’s attention was now on him.

“Yeah, I’m wondering as well. You never liked anyone else after her.” Doeun added.

It took another second before he answered quietly. “You guys know that, that ended well before it even started.”

“And that was so long ago.” Shin added.

“But you were the first and only girl by far that he liked.” Chanyeol pointed out.

“You guys would never know that though.” She responded, siding with her good friend. “I mean, some people would take a while to even realise that they actually like someone.”

“The point is,” Baekhyun began, afraid that the girl, who had been silent and shocked after the revelation, would misinterpret things. She needed to know that to him, Shin was nothing but just a friend. No more. “Shin is just a friend to me, like I am with her. I don’t have any feelings anymore for Shin. I’m long over it.”

Chanyeol dropped the topic at that, pointing out that it was then Baekhyun’s turn. The latter cleared his throat and carried on. But little did he know that the girl has been long carried away, her mind drifting off, now making sense of everything.

His kind gestures towards her didn’t mean anything else. It was just him being… kind. Rather, all of what she thought it meant, was actually for Shin. Baekhyun particularly cared for Shin, because he used to like her (and who knows there could have been something deep down left but he was just not admitting to it) and her, because of all the girls, he saw how shy and fragile she could get and of all the guys, they knew how comfortable she was with him.

For the rest of the time, she maintained a good relationship with everyone, with him, gradually accepting that perhaps, her relationship with Baekhyun will only be platonic.

It was ridiculous. She knew that. To get jealous every time he would show his concern and maybe even affection towards Shin. She felt her heart tighten every time. It because she knew it shouldn’t be like this. They were just friends after all and hoping for something more was way beyond the boundaries. It came to her actually— the fact that she might be reading too much into it. But it was not easy for her to think otherwise because whole her life, rejection has became her middle name. And she wouldn’t be surprised if her feelings for the male would be nothing but one-sided. Unrequited.

She didn’t miss what Baekhyun has done for her. How could she when he mattered so much to her? But to her, she thought that it was just Baekhyun’s good nature. As self-loathing as it may sound, he might even be just pitying her. Because she’s so… alone.