Jinki insisted he really did not care which side of the bed he took. In response, Jonghyun slipped off his shirt and boots and plopped directly in the middle of it, smothering the pillows with his face. He shifted, turning his head to rest his left cheek on the pillow and smiled over at Jinki who was standing near the end of the bed completely dumbfounded. “That is surely not what I meant.”

           “You can pick either side of me.”

            “Uh huh.” Jinki pulled the pins that kept his hair from his face, laying them on the table. He sat on the edge, hand brushing against Jonghyun’s for just a moment before he was pushing his bare side with both hands, moving him to the far side of the bed. Jonghyun huffed, playfully annoyed at the action, as he glared. Jinki grinned as he wiggled under the blankets, grabbing his pillow Jonghyun had taken hostage and smacked him upside the head softly. “Now just don’t be selfish with the blankets and I won’t have to push you off the bed.”

           Jonghyun scoffed, “Why does it have to me being selfish with the blankets?”

           “You get colder than I do.” Jinki softly replied. Jonghyun’s facial expression softened as he gazed at the back of Jinki’s head. He was absentmindedly looking at the way the blankets had fallen on the body line of him when candles around the room were put out. “Goodnight Jonghyun.”

           He coughed, suddenly realizing he was just practically checking the man out, and turned so his back was towards him. As if it being pitch dark wasn’t enough to cut him from his vision. “Goodnight.”

 

----

 

            In the morning Jinki seems on edge as if in a rush to get out of the city. Jonghyun follows him as he walks around the room with his eyes, munching on the apple he was eating for breakfast. Jinki was wearing his robe again and their extra furs were laid out on the table for when the headed. The snow would only get worse the more north they traveled. Jonghyun had a lot to do before he was ready to leave, primarily being putting on his armor, which was a big task all on it’s own. Just as he took a huge bite of his apple Jinki turned arms up above his head fixing his hair. He had a deep frown present on his face. “Why aren’t you getting ready?”

           “We’ve never left in such a rush as this before.” He commented, words muffled as he fought to chew his apple and speak at the same time.

           Jinki pressed his lips together, arms falling as he finished putting his hair back. He huffed but said nothing else. Curious, Jonghyun quickly finished his apple and moved to get his things together, and then getting ready. He was slightly worried about the mage. He was usually calm and collected, in control of any sort of outward emotions, or at least that’s how he was the last few months Jonghyun had traveled with him. He wondered what could have occurred since last night for him to be acting in such a weird way. As they walked out of the hall there was a man in ragged clothing sitting on one of the bar chairs. He sneered as Jinki walked passed, and Jonghyun didn’t miss the way he instinctively pulled the hood of his robes up over his head.

           It wasn’t until the snow was crunching under their boots, turning to the right from the bridge of the city to head up to Winterhold, that he spoke about it. “What has you so frayed around the edges?”

           Casting a sideways look, snow slowly falling between them, Jinki hummed, increasing the speed of his steps to walk ahead of him a few paces. “It’s nothing.”

           “Awh come on.” Jonghyun huffed slightly as he worked to catch up. “Something is bothering you. You wanted to get out of that city. Why?”

           “The city wanted me out.” Jinki quips, creating fire in his hands to warm them through his gloves.

           “What?”

           At that Jinki laughed, mockingly. “That entire city hates me for my race Jonghyun. I was uncomfortable from the moment we walked in there.”

           “Is that why you put your hood up when that man sneered at you?”

           Jinki sighed, but the movement and the sound were masked by the furs and the wind billowing around them. Then he stopped, startling Jonghyun slightly. Jonghyun turned to have the wind at his back as he watched Jinki lift the sleeve of his robe and push down his gloves just a little. The bruise was vibrant against the color of Jinki’s skin. “You don’t get it.”

           “Who did this to you?”

           “The man who sneered at me.” Jinki quietly replied, covering it up as quickly as he showed it. “He wanted to put me in my place when I went to the market this morning to get a few things.”

           “Why didn’t you fight back?” Jonghyun asked, frustrated, “Or told a guard?”

           “The guards do not care. If they did they wouldn’t allow the abuse that happens in what they call the Gray Quarter.” Jinki smiles, almost sadly. “And I’m not even quite sure if you’d even come looking for me if I had not returned, or believed me when I said anything. I’d just be an elf burning things to the ground. Killing an unarmed man.”

            “Jinki-”

           “Forget it, okay?” He gave a hopeful smile, but it didn’t reflect in his eyes. “We have a lot of ground to make and the snow will slow us down considerably.”

           Jonghyun swallowed thickly as Jinki continued to walk on then, his own feelings about mages making guilt churn in his stomach uncomfortably.

 

----

 

            Jonghyun wasn’t taking to the cold as well as they had hoped. Even with his extra furs around him, he was shivering. He had ignored Jinki’s soft concerns for some time now, but his hand was shaking, his lips having a frost over them and slightly blue, as he went to drink, and Jinki knew he had to find shelter before Jonghyun was seriously hurt. He knew there to be caves in the mountains to their left. He pressed his lips together, making the decision without bringing it up Jonghyun at all. When he turned to the left and strayed off the path Jonghyun looked up from his feet, confused. He followed primarily out of curiosity, wanting to see what the mage was up to, but also out of the feeling to protect him. When he steps into the cave after him, his curiosity only increases. Before he can ask anything Jinki’s eyes are meeting his and only one word comes from his lips. “Sit.”

           Hesitantly, he does so, finding a large rock to carefully rest against. Jinki moved to face the cave opening. His hood fell from his head, fulls falling from his shoulders as he moves his arms in wide movements, and then there’s a flash of warm light and the wind and snow from the blizzard stop. Jonghyun blinks rapidly, jaw-dropping as he realizes that the snowflakes are whipping against the orange barrier and stop, not coming into the cave. Jinki’s smile is almost blinding as he turns. “What are we doing?”

           “Making camp.”

            “But it’s not even midday.”

           “You can’t handle anymore.” Jinki simply says, depositing his furs and bag further into the cave, and moving around the dimly lit cave using the light from the floating orb over his head. He was gathering twigs and other burnable things and Jonghyun realized he was collecting things for a fire.

           “I’m perfectly fit to continue the trek Jinki.” Even as he said the words his fingers and toes ached, a dull pain traveling up his limbs, and his teeth chattered slightly.

           “I know physically you can handle walking much farther distances,” Jinki looked over at him from through his lashes as he kneeled making the fire. “However, I suspect that much longer in this blizzard that’s going to get far worse mind you, you might lose a few fingers. Can’t really swing an ax that well without those, can you?”

           “M’m fine.”

           Jinki tossed his furs over on his feet. “Warm yourself up.”

           “But you-”

           “I can keep myself warmer with magic.” Jinki fussed with the stones he was using to make a pit. “Just use the damn furs Jonghyun.”

           Grumbling quietly Jonghyun did as he was told to, collecting the man’s furs into his hands and laying one over his lap and curling his hands into the warmth. He watched curiously as Jinki set the fire quickly, the blaze tall and warm. Then the bedroll was laid out just to the left. “Undress.”

           At the sudden order, Jonghyun bristled. “Excuse me I require dinner and some ale before I give a show to someone Jinki.”

           He expected a witty comeback, a glare, or even a scuff, but the pink painting Jinki’s features was not expected at all. “I can’t heal any frost damage with your armor on. I can keep you warmer without it.”

           “Alright.” He was too embarrassed to pay much attention to Jinki as he undid his armor. He shivered, wrapping his cloak around himself as the cold air around them penetrated the thin cloth of his underclothes.

           “Oh, Jonghyun.” Jinki breathed, taking his hand into his warm ones. “Does this hurt?”

           “A little.” He admitted quietly.

           “Sit, allow me to heal you?”

           He trusted Jinki then, knowing the mage didn’t have to do any of this at all, especially with how he was treated in Windhelm. As he sat on the bedroll, Jinki’s thick fur cloak around his shoulders, he felt the warmth and crispness of Jinki’s magic running through him. His hands were healed first, each one separately held in both of Jinki’s hands as he healed them.    Then his feet were healed. Even with the warmth of the fire making the warded off cave warmer and the cloak, Jonghyun still shivered harshly. Jinki frowned, a thought popping into his mind to help that he was sure he’d either fail to ask or one Jonghyun would refuse. “What are you thinking about?”

           “Hmm?”

           The right corner of Jonghyun’s lips was curved up as he softly gazed at him. “You were rummaging in your bag for something and just froze. I’m quite sure that far wall isn’t that interesting.”

           “Oh,” Jinki dipped his head, pink dusted on his cheeks, before sighing. “I was thinking of ways to help warm you up further is all.”

           “And?”

           “It’d involve me getting into that bedroll with you.” Jinki cleared his throat, nervous. “My body heat and being that close… but I know it’s a stupid idea.”

           “No, it’s not if you really think it’ll help me stop shivering like this.” Jinki’s eyes squinted a little as he studied the man, before figuring out he was being honest. The surprised apparently was vivid on his features as Jonghyun laughed. “Thought I’d refuse?”

           “Completely.” Jonghyun hummed, laying the cloak in a neat pile near the bedroll and then slipping it. He watched Jinki pull his robes off, take the pins from his hair, and slip off his boots. He folded his robes and Jonghyun wondered if he was stalling for some unknown reason. But then he was coming closer, looking unsure with it all, before slipping it after him. He tugged the cloak over them, making sure Jonghyun was the closest to the fire. He wiggled his arm under Jonghyun’s head. It was odd, being this close to Jinki for the first time. It was the first time he had noticed how many freckles he actually had. “Are you comfortable?”

           “Yes.” Jonghyun stared at Jinki’s adams apple bob as he swallowed, feeling the other arm of the man falling over his waist to hold him close. He was warmer, heat traveling over him far more than just being this close to Jinki would give. “Thank you.”

           When he looked up at him Jinki was smiling easily, eyes dipped down to look at him. “I couldn’t let you suffer from something I had every power to fix. Relax. I can feel how tense you are.”

           If he only knew the real reason. And it wasn’t the cold.

 

----

 

           Even after the harm was healed and he was warm, no longer shivering, Jinki was adamant about staying in the cave to wait out the worst of the blizzard. Currently, he was cooking dinner, some type of stew from the ingredients he had in his pack. It had no meat in it, but that was no bother. Jonghyun had been fighting thoughts of how to bring up his conflicting feelings about going to the College of Winterhold, his reservations about mages in general, ever since Jinki had shown him that bruise and fully believed he wouldn’t have helped him if he had gotten into trouble. He knew he needed to, but even as he wrapped the cloak tighter around him and opened his mouth to speak, he didn’t want to. “Hey, Jinki?”

           Jinki hums without looking up from the stew. “Hmm?”

           “I need to... Tell you something.” Jonghyun swallowed thickly, eyes squeezing shut for a moment. “I’ve been thinking about it since you showed me your bruise.”

            “Oh?” The mention of his bruise caught Jinki’s attention quickly. He sat back against the stone he was resting by. “What of it?”

           “I once told you the only person I had left was my mother, that my father left before I was born.” Jinki nodded in understanding, focusing on him with all his attention as if he knew how important this was. “That isn’t quite true. Not completely. The man who created me did leave, but the man I thought of my Father died when I was six. A mage killed him right in front of me. My mother met him when he came to work at the lumber mill, to help my grandfather with the more physical aspects. They fell in love and he was everything a good man should be. He never made me feel like a bastard like I was. I was his, never let me forget it. The mage wanted extra money when we were sitting by the fire late one night. He was reading a bedtime story to me. I had some type of nightmare and we were out there to prevent my mother from waking up. I ran to hide when he went to get the money we had, but it’s hard to fight against fire with a knife.” He takes a shuddering breath, fingers twitching a little on the cloak he was holding around himself. He couldn’t look at Jinki as he finished his story with a weak voice. “He was burnt to the point of it being impossible to identify him before he could even take a step. I can still smell the scent of burning flesh. Ever since that day I’ve despised mages.”

           When he finally has the courage to look up it hurts. Jinki isn’t looking at him anymore, instead focusing on the dirt he was moving around with a stick. Jinki’s voice is distant, guarded as he finally looks up and tosses the stick into the fire. “Consider your end of the deal complete then. I apologize for making you travel with me all these months, for.. Believing you to be my friend. I’ll have a payment ready for your trouble in the morning. Excuse me.”

           Before Jonghyun can process what he’s said, Jinki’s pushing off the ground, walking through the barrier in just his simple clothes. Dread crashes into Jonghyun then. While they had had their differences, times of bickering and disagreements, even with his original reservations he had learned to enjoy Jinki’s company. Now he knew deep down he had lost his… friend. Yes, Jinki was his friend. A friend he had just deeply hurt. He swallowed thickly and moved to take over looking over the stew. Time passed almost too slowly as he took turns looking at the stew and through the barrier for signs of Jinki. After a while, he got worried and pushed off the ground to go look for him. It took him a moment to see him through the whipping winds and snow, but he tightened his grip on the cloak and headed toward the man where he stood on the cliff to his left.

           Jinki doesn’t look over at him as he falls in line, screaming over the wind. “What are you doing?”

           He closes his eyes for a moment before smiling a little. “I’ve missed the snow.” He looks over and his eyes aren’t really looking at him, glazed over almost. “You should be inside where it’s warmer.”

           “You didn’t come back and the stew is ready.”

           “You almost sound like you care for my well being.” Jinki hums, turning and heading back. “Come. No need for you to get frostbite again. I doubt you’d be comfortable with me healing you again.”

           When they return to the cave they eat in an awkward, tense silence. Once finished and cleaned up, Jinki goes to his bedroll and turns his back toward Jonghyun with a soft goodnight. Jonghyun stares at his back for a long time, confusing emotions running through his head. With a deep sigh, he closed his eyes to cut the connection and tried to sleep. Hopefully, by morning he could explain to Jinki he hadn’t meant him when he said he despised mages.

 

---

 

           When he wakes up it's to the sound of metal scraping against metal and the soft mutterings of Jinki. Squinting a little in the sudden rush of bright light from the fire, he rolls over with a soft groan. When his vision finally focuses Jinki is making breakfast. His things are already packed up against the wall and he doesn’t fail to notice the coin purse sitting outside of it. When he begins to get up Jinki finally takes notice and looks over. He has a sad look in his eyes, dejected almost. “I wanted to be gone before you woke up, but I miscalculated my time I see.”

           He pushes up fully, sighing as he took a chance. “When I said I hated mages.. I didn’t mean you.”

           “That’s like saying you hate carrots and have for years, but randomly picking up a certain one and only liking that one,” Jinki comments quietly. “If you hadn’t noticed, I’m very much a mage. It’s the very fiber of my being Jonghyun. I am included in such a clear and broad statement of your hatred Jonghyun.”

           “I do… did hate you at first.” Jonghyun pressed his lips together, “When we first met I hated what you were, what you stood for, but you were the first mage I had talked to for longer than a moment. I don’t hate you now. I don’t wish to be out of our agreement, I’d like to consider you a friend Jinki.”

           “I always thought we were.” Jinki then softly admits. It’s a moment, feeling so long and slow before he continues. “While I understand where such a strong feeling could be created and held for mages from such a traumatic event, I thought-”

           When he stops abruptly, Jonghyun’s stomach drops. “Please finish.”

           Jinki looks so hurt looking at him. “Having people hate me for my race, for being a high elf, is one thing. It’s something I cannot change. It’s who I am. I have no control over that, but this? Being a mage? I chose that. This is how I chose to represent myself, how to live my life. I thought for once, just once, I had found someone who cared about me. Truly cared about me. Looking through the misconceptions mages get and seeing I’m more than the fire I can create. I should have realized this was all just apart of the deal and wrapped in fear.”

           The realization of just how he had crushed Jinki made Jonghyun want to curl in on himself. “Jinki..”

           “Forget it, okay?” The familiar ring of the words he had hurt just a few days ago echoes in Jonghyun’s mind. “If you wish to fulfill the deal we should get going soon. There’s about a half day left before we get there and we should go before the blizzard picks up again.”

 

----

 

            Ever since they had left the cave Jinki was purposefully walking a few paces ahead of him, almost ignoring him. Frustration was slowly building in Jonghyun and without thinking he ran, slipping in front of Jinki and stopping. Jinki squints, peering from under his cloak as he hollers over the wind. “What in all hells are you doing?”

            “I am not moving until you aren’t mad at me anymore.”

           “I’m not mad at you.” Jinki easily confesses, crossing his arms. “I’m upset. I’m hurt. There’s a difference.”

           “I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry Jinki. I never should have hated you before getting to know you. You’re a very kind and sweet person.” Jonghyun roughly grabs his shoulders when Jinki tries to walk around him. “You’ve done nothing in these past few months to reinforce my notions about mages. You’ve saved my life so many times. You’re my friend.”

           “How long?”

            The sudden question gives Jonghyun pause, “What?”

            “How long did it take for you to realize I’m not a murdering, zealous criminal?”

            “Jinki…”

           Jonghyun can see the anger flaring in the man, the heat of his gaze. “I have my secrets and things in my past I’d rather keep there, but I’d never harm an innocent man. I’ve never killed another living being unless out of defense and yet you painted me like I was the one who killed your father before you even knew my name. I am powerful, but I do not use it for the harm of others. I am more than my powers Jonghyun.”

           “I know. I know that. I’m not asking you to forgive me quickly, just to give me a chance to make it up to you.” When Jinki looks away Jonghyun softly grabs his chin, making his gaze meet his own again. “You like reading about history and you like picking flowers even if you have no use for them. You like the snow and the stars in the night sky. Your favorite fruit is snowberries and if you could you’d never have to drink anything but your fancy elven wine that’s way too sweet and I’ve told you that and yet you still share it with me. Please.”

           Jinki softens then and his lips move with his mutterings, but the words can’t be heard. He repeats himself when Jonghyun prompts him. “I never told you my favorite fruit was snowberries.”

           Jonghyun softly smiled. “You didn’t have to.”

           Their eye contact is broken as Jinki looks away, chewing his bottom lip and Jonghyun knows he’s thinking about all that’s been said. When he looks up again he smiles a little. “When we get to Winterhold you can stay at the inn if you wish to not go into the college.”

            Jonghyun beams, because he knows Jinki is giving him a second chance. “Maybe you could show me around first… and then I’ll decide.”

           They stand there, smiling softly for a moment before Jinki’s eyebrow twitches up as he smirks. “Are you going to get out of my way or are we both going to freeze out here?”

           “Oh yeah right yeah.”

           Jinki’s soft laughter can’t be heard over the wind, but it didn’t need to be for Jonghyun to know he was. His eyes were moving into crescents, wrinkles at the corner as he moved around him. He wasn’t sure what awaited him in Winterhold, or after, but he felt calm knowing Jinki was his friend again.

 

---