a/n: Minor mention of in terms of Taemin's conception and a bit of violence.

 

          In the morning, or what he assumed was morning, Jinki woke up with his cheek squished against Jonghyun’s chest, their limbs tangled together as they tried to share the bedroll beneath them. There was a bad taste in his mouth and his head ached terribly. He closed his eyes with a deep sigh, realizing suddenly what had happened the night before. He didn’t feel better, but he did feel lighter like a slight weight had been lifted from his shoulders. When he opened his eyes again he gazed up at Jonghyun’s face, a small part of him surprised to still find him here.

          He shifted a little closer, pressing his body against Jonghyun’s, and curled his fingers in the cloth of his tunic on his other side. Jonghyun made a soft noise as his head moved, nose pressing into Jinki’s hair gently.

          Jinki needed to figure out what happened to his mages, but for just a little while longer he’d find comfort in Jonghyun’s loose embrace.

-----

          Jonghyun lifted the water skin gently, smiling as Jinki took it to his lips to drink. “Once you feel you’re ready, we can head out.”

          He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, shifting his gaze from the man beside him forward toward the path that led further into the ruins. Then with a sigh, his gaze lowered. “I apologize for last night.”

          There was a long pause before Jonghyun softly asked, “What about it?”

          “It has been some time since I have… fallen apart like that. I apologize for throwing that upon you to deal with.” He swallowed thickly, flicking his eyes over for a moment. “It wasn’t right of me.”

          “You don’t have to go through all your pain alone,” Jonghyun reached over and gently curled their fingers together, lifting Jinki’s hand up to press a kiss to the back of his hand. “Not anymore. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Alright?”

          “Alright,” Jinki breathed out quickly. It had been a long time since he hadn’t been alone, too. For years since he had chosen the college and his identity over love, he had people around him at the college and through his travels, but he could name very few instances where he felt anything but loneliness. He cherished Kibum for his friendship, Minho for his constant understanding and support, but both of them knew so much of his life, had lived through it with him in some way. He felt as if he could control his demons in the slightest way by being able to tell Jonghyun them. It was oddly healing in a way, he thought. Jinki flashed a little smile, squeezing his hand. “We better get going.”

          A kiss was pressed to his cheek before Jonghyun stood. “As long as you promise to stand behind me, and no funny business mister.”

          There was a fond smile on his face as he crossed his heart with two fingers. “Simple spells and atronachs. I promise.”

          “Good.” He pulled on his helmet and gripped his ax. His smile was bright from the front opening. “Time to up.”

          Jinki chuckled as he followed, pressing his staff into the dirt with each step, grip tight around the wood.

----

          Jonghyun cursed as both Dwarven spiders crumbled into pieces before him, rushing through the parts toward the last place he had seen Jinki. When they had been attacked by the Falmer he had been pushed forward, toward the rest of the ruins they hadn’t explored yet. The damn spiders caused Jonghyun to lose sight of him. He could hear the distant sounds of magic, the crack of lightning and the woosh of fire. As he turned the corner he spotted Jinki in the middle of the room, back pressed against his ice atronach, twisting together to fight the three Falmer attacking him.

          He was staying true to his word and not using his more complicated powers, fire swirling around his left hand and arm. His hair had fallen from the tie, strands curling from the perspiration on his skin, and eyes focused. Even then, Jonghyun knew he was someone to be feared, but not because he was a mage, but because he was deadly, skilled. Jonghyun knew he should assist, but he wasn’t sure if rushing in would be a help or a hindrance.

          Jinki caught a sword swing with his staff, twisting it firmly with both hands and ripping the weapon from the falmer’s grasp. Just as quickly he had the creature flying across the room, crashing into the crumbling stone wall and falling into a heap on the floor among the rubble. The sword was dislodged from the wood and as he spun under the arm of his atonarch he threw it. It landed into the second falmer’s chest, leaving one to go. As the Falmer moved around the perimeter of the room is caused them to have their back to Jonghyun. As he stepped out of the shadows, banging the handle of his ax against the metal of his wrist guards to make noise, he gained the attention of the Falmer and Jinki.

          The fire around Jinki’s hand quickly changed, light blue frost billowing around his fingers as he formed a spike and using the distraction, sent it straight through the last Falmer's head. Jonghyun blinked, stunned, as he lowered his ax. “That’s a bit overdoing it, don’t you think?”

          Leaning heavily on his staff, Jinki’s chest was rising and falling quickly, but there was a smile on his face. Even if his eyes showed just how tired he was. “It was 6 against Icey here and me. I’m done being civil.”

          As he closed the distance between them, he removed his helmet and sat in on the floor by their feet, along with his ax. He lifted Jinki’s chin, smiling as he pushed his hair back. “Are you alright? I’m sorry I took so long.”

          “I’m alright, Love. Promise.” Jinki slowly blinked, taking a deep breath to try and relax a little. “I’m a bit tired. Must admit how difficult it was to keep my promise to you.”

          “I’m glad you did.” One kiss to his cheek before Jonghyun hummed. “I think I see our destination.”

          Jinki twisted, looking behind him. Through fighting, he hadn’t noticed the looming door in the distance. “I sure hope so.”

          The room was vast, a dome ceiling curving above them. There was a bit of rubble and cracked stone lying where they had fallen a long time ago. Once Jonghyun had his helmet and his ax, they made their way toward the large door. Jinki looked around the room and noticed two doors, one to the north of them and one to the east. His curiosity was bubbling, wondering what was behind each, but once he was sure there wasn’t any more Falmer lurking in the shadows he focused on the main task at hand. The large door that Jonghyun was currently tugging on harshly to try and open. “Let me in, Dammit!”

          “Very subtle, Love.”

          “It’s locked.”

          “Also very astute I see.”

          Just then there was a voice from the other side of the door, soft and muffled. “Who goes there?”

          Jinki squinted as he stepped closer. “Taemin?”

          “I will only ask once more before I set off the traps.” The voice was louder, more defensive. “Who goes there?”

          Jonghyun flexed his fingers on his ax, but for once didn’t argue when Jinki pushed him gently back by a hand on his chest. “I am Jinki Lee, Archmage of the College of Winterhold.”

          “Jinki?”

          “Let me in, please.”

          The groan of the hinges broke the fallen silence, and out of the dim light came a young boy. He had a mop of black hair on his head and small pointed ears poking out. He paused just inside the opening before a grin broke across his face. “Jinki!”

          As the boy slammed into him, Jinki got the wind knocked out of him, but he was quick to wrap both arms around the boy. “I’m so glad to see you alright, young one.”

          “Did Taeyang send you?”

          Jinki pulled away, frowning softly as he cupped Taemin’s cheek. “I’m sorry, but we found him. He didn’t make it.”

          “I wondered why no one came back.” Taemin’s bottom lip trembled.

          Jonghyun took that time to step forward, clearing his throat. “Let’s get inside. There could be more Falmer out here.”

          Taemin’s head whipped around to him, eyes quickly narrowing. “Who are you?”

          “He’s with me, Sweetheart. Come, he’s right.” Jinki walked back through the doors, left arm around Taemin’s shoulders, the other gripping his staff as he still used it to aid his movement. Jonghyun followed behind, walking backward to watch behind them until the doors closed. There was a makeshift camp at the end of the hallway, at the base of a large sphere. Jinki pushed down his curiosity on what it was, to focus on closing the big doors with magic and making sure the traps were set. When he turned around the young apprentice was taking a seat by the fire and Jonghyun was hovering between the two of them, leaning against the wall. “What happened here Taemin?”

          “It’s a long story.” He worried at his bottom lip, eyes staring at the flames before him as he pulled his legs to his chest. He didn’t look away when Jinki sat beside him. “When we arrived it seemed pretty straight forward. We were expecting the traps and protections left here by the Dwemer, but we soon found out that the number of Falmer calling these ruins home was more than we could handle. We were at camp, making a station to come back to from our research when they attacked while we slept. Master Eunji and Taeyang, they protected me, got me here. They left to try and find what could be keeping so many Falmer here or to get word to you, but weeks turned into almost two months.”

          “I don’t know what happened to Master Eunji, but we’ll find out on our way out of here.” Jinki reached over to grab the boy’s hand. “I’m proud of you, Taemin.”

          “For what? All I did was stay locked in here while they-”

          “I never should have allowed Eunji to take you on this mission.” Taemin’s head whipped up, eyes wide. Jinki laughed quickly, amused, “You are very talented, but you are young. Too young I believe to have witnessed the horrors within these ruins.”

          “I’m so happy to see you,” Taemin rubbed his nose with his sleeve. “I’m almost out of supplies.”

          “You did very well in portioning what you had to last this long.”

          “Who’s the brute?”

          “Hey!” Jonghyun huffed, squaring his shoulders.

          Jinki tried to hide his laughter behind his hand but failed miserably. “His name is Jonghyun. He’s the reason I made it here at all.”

          “I doubt it. You’re the most powerful mage in Skyrim.”

          “Your faith in me is appreciated, but I’m not without faults.” Jinki’s eyes lingered on Jonghyun for a few moments before he turned to Taemin with a soft smile, “Did you happen to find anything during your time here?”

          “If this big hunk of metal counts.” Taemin pouted slightly. “I’m not sure what it’s meant to do, wasn’t my section of research, but it seems cool. Was pushing lots of buttons and the dials moved, but I didn’t understand the purpose of it.”

          “I’ll look into that come morning.” Jinki sighed deeply as he reached up to rub at the base of his neck. “Are you hungry, Taemin?”

          “A bit tired.” He glanced up, pink on his cheeks as he admitted. “I haven’t been sleeping very well with the noises outside the door.”

          “Why don’t you rest and when we have food, we’ll wake you.” Jinki could see the hesitance, but also the desire to do just that. “I promise you’re safe. Jonghyun and I will make sure of that.”

          “Okay,” Taemin shifted a little curling up in his bedroom with a tiny bit of wiggling. “Mm, than...ks.”

          Jinki ran a hand over his hair gently as Taemin drifted off to sleep. “Always, Sweetheart.”

-----

          Jonghyun gazed over the fire at the young boy, still sleeping soundly wrapped in his blankets, as Jinki cooked a bit of the vegetables they still had in their packs from that traveling caravan of merchants. “You care a lot about him.”

          It wasn’t a question, but Jinki answers it as if it was. “I do.”

          “Who is he to you?”

          Jinki paused in his movements before sighing and putting the pan completely over the fire. Carefully, he moved back until he was sitting alongside of Jonghyun. “He’s my younger brother.”

          “What?!”

          “Shh!” Jinki hissed quietly as he made sure Taemin wasn’t going to wake up yet. “He doesn’t know.”

          What do you mean he doesn’t know?” Jonghyun scuffed.

          “He was just a babe when she died, just past his first name day. I had been traveling the world with Kibum and our mutual friend. He only met me after our mother had died and I joined the college… returned home to deal with things.” Jinki finally looked over at him, laying his head on his arms over his knees. “He’s my half brother. We have different fathers.”

          “Jinki…”

          “I know I should tell him, but there are so many questions I know he has that I have the answer to. Ones I don’t wish to answer.”

          “Like?”

          “His father he, forced himself on my mom.” Jinki swallowed thickly, lifting his head just enough to look at the fire instead. “Sometimes I wonder if it would have been different if I had been there instead of traveling the world like I was important or something. I remember her telling me through a letter. I read it while staying in the inn in Solitude. By the time it reached me, Taemin had already been born. I was on my way back to meet him a few months later when she was killed. She never treated Taemin for the sins of his father, never got to tell him what she wished to about that half of him. I’m not sure I’m ready to break the idolization I know he has for his Dad.”

          “Who does he think his father is?”

          “A traveling merchant, who died on the way back to Winterhold before he was born.” Jinki returned to moving the vegetables around to make sure they didn’t burn on one side. “He’s the only family I have left and he doesn’t even know it.”

          Jonghyun wiggled to get closer, laying his head on Jinki’s shoulder as he gazed over at the boy. “One day, sometime soon, you need to tell him that you’re his brother. It doesn’t have to be today, but someday.”

          “I’m just afraid he won’t want anything to do with me.”

          “I’ve only seen you two together for maybe twenty minutes, and I highly doubt that.”

          Jinki snorted quietly. “I hope you’re right, Love.”

          “When have I been wrong?” When Jinki looked at him deadpanned, Jonghyun frowned. “Actually, don’t answer that.”

----

          It so happened after they ate their small dinner, Taemin lead Jinki up the ramp to the top of the sphere because of how many questions Jinki kept thinking of. “There’s this weird sphere up there and some buttons. The buttons move the mirror looking discs on the ceiling, but the lights never lined up so I don’t know.”

          “You seemed to have worked through a lot.” Jinki squeezed his shoulder before taking the next bit of ramp to the top platform. He raked his eyes over the tomes sitting on the table behind the controls before plucking one up. Jonghyun knew that it wasn’t his place to ask questions, not that he’d understand what to ask or what the answers were, so he walked to the wall that separated the two platforms and sat against it, looking up at the mechanism waiting for Jinki to mess with it.

          He looked over when he felt someone sit next to him and smiled when he saw Taemin. The young boy smiled brightly, “Do you think he’ll figure it out?”

          “I sure hope so, or we’ll all be stuck here for another month until he does.”

          “You’re funny.” Taemin giggled softly. When he stopped he quietly asked, “How long have you known Jinki?”

          “About five or so months. Give or take a few weeks. He traded his room for an back to the college.”

          “And you agreed?”

          “I really wanted that bed.”

          Taemin hummed before saying, “If you hurt him I’ll make you into a brute ice cube.”

          “Duly noted, Kid.”

          “I’m not a kid! I’m Eleven!” Taemin whined. "Almost twelve!"

          “Alright, slightly bigger kid,” Taemin grumbled before pushing off the floor and stomping up to where Jinki was, leaving Jonghyun laughing quietly to himself as the parts of the machine began to move.

-----

          “What the is it?”

          “Jingles, language.” Jinki sighed, running a hand over his face.

          “Okkkkay, what the hell is it?” Jinki glared at him, “What, what’s wrong with hell?”

          With a shake of his head, Jinki focused back on the picture reflected on the wall before them. “It looks like a map. I have no clue what could be so important that the map that leads to it requires all this calculating.”

          “The Staff of Magnus.” Taemin quietly quips from his spot between them. He has one of Jonghyun’s large furs over his shoulders, the fuzz almost overtaking his small frame. His eyes are wide when both adults look down at him. “What?”

          “The Staff of Magnus is only written in the most restricted books in the Arcanaeum.” Jinki replies with a raised eyebrow. “How in the world did you get access to those?”

          “It was on your bedside table… I found it.” He was trying to hide in the furs, hugging them tight around him.

          “Ah, is that so?” Jinki mumbled to himself before humming, raising his voice as he continued. “I suppose it could be the Staff. That seems to be the Labyrinthian, but then again, I’d rather not explore that.”

          “Is someone scared?” Jonghyun asked, voice light and teasing.

          “My predecessor as a young Master went there with 5 other fellow master Mages. He was the only one who returned out alive.” Jinki shrugged quietly, still studying the map before his eyes closed with a sigh. Then he looked at Jonghyun, “You still have my sketchbook in your pack right?”

          Jonghyun nodded and jogged down the ramp to find his pack. As he disappeared from view Taemin quietly asked, “Why does he have your sketchbook? You never let anyone touch it.”

          “I had no room in mine.”

          “Are you together?”

          “Taemin!” Jinki snapped his head toward him so quickly his neck cracked a little.

          “What! Just curious.” Taemin frowns, crossing his arms over his chest. “Kibummie says you need someone to share your bed.”

          “Oh my gods, Kibum did not talk to you about that.”

          “No, I overheard him as he mumbled writing a letter. To Minho, I think.”

          Jinki ran an exasperated hand over the length of his face. “I cannot believe…”

          His voice trailed off as footsteps could be heard approaching. Jonghyun grinned as he handed the sketchbook over. His smile fell as he looked between Taemin’s bright expression and Jinki’s exhausted one. “What happened while I was gone?”

          “Nothing of sheer importance,” Jinki quietly stated as he flipped open the leather-bound sketchbook, bringing the charcoal to the parchment. “Other than I have to kill my Master Wizard for corrupting the youth.”

          “Okay, what the actual did I miss?”

          Taemin’s burst of laughter was enough to let Jonghyun off the hook with cursing.

-----

          Jinki glanced over when he heard the soft footsteps on the old, worn stone. A gentle smile pulled at his lips at the sight of Jonghyun. “Hey, Love.”

          “I woke up and you weren’t in your bedroll.” He carefully sat next to him, back against the wall and shoulders touching. “I was worried.”

          “I’m sorry.” Jinki easily curled their fingers together, tugging Jonghyun’s hand over into his lap as the man’s head fell to his shoulder. “I couldn’t sleep so I came up here to think.”

          “I thought you might be up here tinkering with things.”

          Jinki chuckled. “I thought about it, but it makes too much noise.”

          Then, Jonghyun lifted his head and removed his hand from Jinki’s grasp, actions that caused Jinki to focus more on the man quickly. “Can we talk?”

          “Aren’t we already talking?” He flashed a little smile, nerves bubbling up and the sudden shift of the room.

          “We are, but I’ve also been thinking.”

          “I don’t like the sound of that.”

          Jonghyun looked up at him and as he spoke a smile pulled at his lips. “I love you so much Jinki, you must know that.”

          “I do.”

          “But,” As the smile fell, so did Jinki’s heart. “You have so many secrets hidden within you and I understand that you hold them so deep in you because of the pain in which they cause or were formed. That doesn’t make it okay for me to keep having to find out things that are a big part of you as if I’m a stranger anymore. What happened with Jaewha is one thing. Keeping the fact you have a younger brother, one that I suspect was a big part of the reason you were so desperate to find the survivors of the expedition, is a completely different thing altogether Jinki. And you know that.”

          “It didn’t seem important.”

          “Jinki, he’s your only living family, blood family.” Jonghyun’s brows furrowed as he continued, “I would have understood your motives more. Supported you more easily when you wanted to continue. I understand the importance of family, you know I do. Why didn’t you tell me?”

          “How much of my past do you wish to know, Jonghyun?” Jinki quietly asked, finally looking over at him fully. While his voice was calm and soft, his facial expression was not, his eyes hard and focused. “I bet there are many things in your past that you’d rather be kept there. Why must you know mine?”

          “Because yours keep effecting now.” Jonghyun hissed, moving a little ways away from him. “Jaewha isn’t in the past for you. You’re living with the pain of her loss every single day. Taemin is right down that ramp. He’s apart of the present and the future, Jinki. That’s the difference.”

          “Since you wish to know all my secrets so badly,” Jinki twisted until his entire body was facing Jonghyun. “Growing up in Markarth, I never imagined racism and terror I’d experience later. I trained with the blacksmith in fighting because I didn’t want to be the stereotype my friends claimed my parents were. I met Minho when I was eight. He lived down the stairs from me with his parents and older brother. When his parents disappeared and his older brother moved to Solitude to join the Empire’s forces, he moved in with us. My parents decided to move to Winterhold when I was 14. I didn’t wish to be a part of that, so, Minho and I ran away.

          “We met Kibum a few years later. I traveled with them as their Warrior, I was their first line of defense. Minho is an Archer and Kibum was already a mage at that point, skilled but untrained. The secret you seem to want to badly, is that I loved Minho. When I was 18, I proposed to him.”

          “You were engaged?”

          “I was.” Jinki’s fingers flexed around each other in his lap as he continued. “We had been through a lot together, grew up on the road. We left home at 14 and 12. We had a date in Riften and then the news came of my mother’s murder.”

          “Why… aren’t you with him now? You aren’t still married are you?”

          “I’ve never been married Jonghyun. I couldn’t do that to you or him if that were the case.” His gaze fell to his hands as he continued. “When my mother died and then shortly after my Father, I decided that I wished to follow my destiny, follow their footsteps and become a mage. In doing so, I had to choose between my identity and Love, Minho.”

          “Why? He wouldn’t go with you?”

          “He would have, but he’s a wood elf Jonghyun. They don’t do very well in winter climates for very long. I couldn’t do that to him, diminish his light for me. So I ended it.” Jinki reached behind him for his sketchbook, the book thick in his hands as he hesitated in handing it over. “I’ve had this since I left home at 14. I keep adding more pages to it, removing others, but you can look through it. I think you’ll understand me and my so called secrets more Jonghyun.”

          “Jinki I-”

          “I know I have a lot of secrets. I want to tell you whatever it is you wish to know, but I hope you understand putting my pain into words is difficult.” He stood then, smiling as he leaned down to press a kiss to his hair. “I will always hold Minho dear to my heart, but please remember after looking through all that, that I’d choose you no matter what.”

          The last thing Jinki saw before he disappeared down the ramp toward their camp, was Jonghyun staring wide-eyed at the sketchbook held gingerly in his hands.

-----

          Minho was very handsome Jonghyun learned as he flipped through the book, but Kibum was also featured quite a lot in the beginning. There were pages of flower sketches, little notes about their properties and what potions could be made from them. As the sketches of Minho stopped, the pages shifted to notes of magic and technique, things he wanted to remember. Enchantments and spells, diary entries next to sketches of the view from outside the college windows. Then there was Jaewha and Jonghyun’s heart stopped in his chest.

          Even without the label, he would have known who the little baby was. Jinki had been right, she was beautiful. One thing he noticed was the of the pencil were lighter like they had been before the pictures of Minho had stopped… when Jinki had been happy. It wasn’t until he read the little note by a picture of Jaewha from when she was two, hair up in pigtails and a big smile on her face, did Jonghyun fully cry. “The snow billows so softly and cold, but nothing will harm you little star in my hold. I will love you until the end of time, Sleep little star safe in my arms.”

          Little star seemed to be his nickname for her if the writings alongside the pictures were anything to go by. He had captured her life within these pages, writing small notes about her in the margins. From her first word to how she giggled when snow hit her nose. Her love of her father’s singing voice and how she would fall asleep in his arms only if he did when she was a baby. Jonghyun could tell by the frayed ends of the pages and the worn down ink around the sides that he had come to these pages far more than any other. He in a harsh breath and continued on.

          The next sketch had a date on the top. A year after the last of little Jaewha. The lines were dark and harsh, pulled with a force that left an indent on the next page. Jonghyun frowned deeply. The pictures of the snow billowing around the fountain in the courtyard, and the books of the library, were beautifully drawn, but he couldn’t forget the thick lines and how different they were from the delicate lines of before.

          Maybe he was reading too much into it, but it was too late to not. He flipped through those pages quickly, stopping only when there was a sketch of Minho once again, laughing beside the garden in Jinki’s rooms in the college. Ah, so they were still in contact. Jonghyun wasn’t sure how he felt about that until he remembered Jinki’s final words. ‘I’d choose you no matter what.’

          Sketches of Taemin were scattered throughout, and Jonghyun knew as the time passed that Jinki had kept a close eye on his upbringing and education, putting himself into it as much as he could while still keeping the boundary between them of Archmage and apprentice. Jinki may have trouble finding words to speak, but his written word vividly showed his longing to tell Taemin the truth, to have his brother as he should without the barriers. He wanted to raise him, to give him family they both needed.

          His bottom lip was trembling as he flipped the page, the date on the top ignored for a moment as he stared at his reflection on the paper. It was him hunkered over the fire, or firepit, frown on his face. When he finally looked at the date it was from that first month traveling, when lighting the fire was everything but easy for him. There were little notes again around the edges of the sketches, ‘He seems to hate me, but I’m not sure what I’ve done to cause such a thing’. He swallowed the lump in his throat and continued until he stopped at a picture of him sitting in the woods on a log, smile bright on his face. While the picture was beautiful it was the words at the bottom that made the tears appear again. ‘I think I love him, but how could he ever love someone like me too?’

          The second to last entry in the sketchbook was dated a few days prior. It wasn’t hard to recall the memory. It was of their time in the field of flowers, when chasing each other playfully turned into giggling between kisses, rolling around in the field. The picture showed him after, staring up at the stars with flower petals in his hair from their time together and a pleased smile on his face. Jonghyun wasn’t sure how Jinki captured it, but there were stars present in the eyes sketched on the paper. ‘I hope he’s permanent.’  Was lightly written at the bottom of the page and Jonghyun quickly snapped the book close.

          He pushed off the ground and quickly walked down the ramp. Jinki was by the large door at the end of the hall, from the looks of things reinforcing the protective locks on it. Jonghyun gently placed the sketchbook on Jinki’s bedroll. The mage turned quickly as Jonghyun approached and barely was fully facing him before their lips were connected. Jonghyun curled his fingers in his tunic while he touched the base of Jinki’s neck with the other, their lips sliding together familiarly. When they parted Jinki was softly looking at him, looking as if there was a question on his lips. Instead, he remained silent as Jonghyun spoke. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I demanded you to show me these things… I should have waited until you were ready to show me, even if it took forever.”

          But Jinki just fondly smiled and took his face into his hands to sweetly kiss him. “I hadn’t planned on showing you my sketches.. Not fully like that. I’ve never shown anyone that. But I don’t regret having done it.” He caressed Jonghyun’s cheek, head tilted a little as he gazed at him. “Life partners don’t keep secrets from one another. I’ll be better at it if you’ll keep me.”

          In response, Jonghyun just kissed him once again, beaming when Jinki chuckled as they parted. “What?”

          “You talk better with your kisses.”

          “Oh, well then shut up and let me talk.”

-----

          It was the next morning that they decided it was time to figure out what happened to Master Eunji and to give Taeyang a proper burial. Packing up their things Jinki could tell something was bothering Taemin. The young boy hadn’t spoken since he agreed to leave and that was very unlike him. While Jonghyun fussed with his armor Jinki sat next to Taemin and quietly asked, “What’s wrong?”

          “I just… don’t want to see Taeyang.”

          “Jonghyun and I will handle everything. You can wait just inside until it’s done if you want to go pay your respects.” Jinki smiled sweetly when Taemin looked up at him. “It was very hard for me to see him. I won’t force you to witness something that could harm you.”

          “Do you think Master Eunji made it out?”

          “I hope she has.” He squeezed Taemin’s knee before noticing Jonghyun struggling with his armor still and standing. “Get your robe on. We’ll be leaving soon.”

----

 

          “Do you plan on taking Taemin with us?” Jonghyun quietly asked as Jinki worked on fastening his plate on him.

          “He needs to be at home at the college, safe.”

          “Do.. you plan on going with him?”

          Jinki paused in his ministrations and straightened to look at him in the eye. “I plan on going with you. Minho is staying at one of our old cabins just to the south of here. All I’ll need to do is ask and he’ll him home.”

          Jonghyun laughed nervously as Jinki went back to work. “Minho… as in your almost husband Minho?”

          “That’d be the one.” Jinki turned him around with his hands, shifting the armor until he was happy with it. “Are you okay with that?”

          “Yeah, yeah, I just thought I’d be with you longer when I met him is all. I mean, hah,” Jonghyun squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, “I just found out about him last night.”

          “And I apologize for that.” Jinki turned him back around with a smile, handing him his helmet. “There are very few people in the world I trust enough to protect him, Jonghyun.”

          “If you needed to take him home I would have understood.”

          Jinki cupped his cheek for a moment before realizing Taemin was looking at them and slowly withdrew. “I have kept you from your mother for far too long, Love. Besides, I want to meet the amazing woman that gave me you.”

          “Oh, you’re just asking to be kissed.”

          He ran his tongue over his lips before giving a little smirk. He patted Jonghyun’s shoulder before walking around him. “Don’t be too slow getting your pack ready, Jingles. We move out momentarily.”

          Jonghyun glared at the back of his head, cursing him.

-----

          In the end, Eunji wasn’t found, but her staff was. Jinki grimly grabbed it as he kneeled, trying to figure out what could have happened for her to drop it. He recognized it to be her’s easily, the staff shorter for her liking than a normal one you’d buy. He handed the staff to Taemin softly. “You’ll keep it safe for her until we see her again.”

          “You think she just.. Left this here?”

          “There’s no blood, Taemin. She wasn’t hurt, so that’s what I have to believe. Maybe when you return to the college she’ll be there waiting.”

          Taemin’s face twisted. “What do you mean by that? Why didn’t you say we? Are you not coming to the College?”

          “Not yet.” Jinki sighed, glancing at Jonghyun for a moment before looking at Taemin. “I am going to Riverwood to meet Jonghyun’s mother. I thought you’d rather go home than come with us.”

          “How am I going to get home? I don’t know the way.” His small hands were beginning to shake, bottom lip trembling as his eyes widened.

          “I have a friend who has a cabin near here, a safe house.” Jinki ran his hand through Taemin’s hair. “During his offseason, he stays there. He’ll take you home. You’ll remember him when you see him.”

          “You are coming back to the college right?” Taemin looked between the two of them, rocking on his feet for a moment. “You’re not running away with the brute, right?”

          “Of course I’ll return, but I have to do something for me just this once, Young one.”

          The subject was dropped as they turned around and made their way back through the ruins once they came.

------

          Jonghyun shifted his gaze from Taemin kneeling in front of the marker they had made, to Jinki standing beside him. The man had his arms crossed over his chest, body facing Taemin, but his eyes were closed, jaw tensed. “Are you alright, Babe?”

          Slowly Jinki’s head turned and his eyes opened, expression softening as he looked at him. “I will be, Love.”

          Softly, Jonghyun captured his hand swinging next to his between them, fingers curling together easily. “I can’t wait for you to see my home.”

          “Is that so?” He mumbled as he moved to kiss his temple. “I hope your mom learns to like me.”

          “She’ll love you.”

          Just as easy as they slipped together, they fell apart, creating space between them both as they heard Taemin approaching. Jinki smiled as he ruffled Taemin’s hair, “You ready to go?”

          “Yeah, I.. I said goodbye.”

          “Chin up, Kid.”

          Taemin almost stomped his foot. “I am NOT a kid.”

          Jinki just laughed as he wrapped an arm around him, “Come on, let's smoke him going down these steps.”

          “Does he get winded in his old age?”

          Jonghyun squinted as they walked past him, talking softly. “Oh very much.”

          “You’re older than I am!”

          His complaint fell on deaf ears as they started down the steps without him.

-----

          The trees loomed before them, rising up into the clouds it seemed, causing the path before them to be heavily shaded. Jinki placed his pack on the ground and hummed, “I better head in alone at first. Knowing him, he still has traps in place.”

          “Traps?”

          “He’s a hunter by trade, Dear.” Jinki smiled as he walked forward. “There are dozen of traps set to put just as many arrows in you.”

          “Excuse me, what?!” Taemin giggled at his bewilderment.

          Jinki ignored his question as he calmly walked into the shadows, sighing as the beating sun on the back of his neck was blocked by the trees. He walked through the soft green grass and mushrooms before quickly twisting behind a tree, hearing the thunk as the arrows lodged into the wood of the tree. The next part was the worst and as the arrows flew he quickly created a wall of ice, not even blinking as it cracked just a bit as the arrows hit it. It was then hiding behind his wall of ice that he heard Minho call out, “Who are you and why shouldn’t I shoot you for trespassing?”

          He was laughing as he walked toward the edge of the wall, calmly calling out, “It’s not trespassing if it’s my land too, Matchstick.”

          As he stepped around the wall, Minho lowered his bow, a slow smile forming on his lips as he saw him. “Jinnie!”

          His bow was dropped on the porch as he jogged over, quickly bringing him into a hug. Jinki returned the embrace easily, relaxing in the comfort of his friend's arms. “Your traps need working.”

          “It doesn’t count if you were here when I put them in.” Minho pulled away, scuffing. He stood with his arms crossed, long brown hair over his shoulder in the braid he always had it in. “What are you doing here?”

          “Am I not welcome in my own cabin?” Minho cocked his head to the side, shifting onto one foot in response, causing Jinki to sigh. “I need someone to Taemin back to Winterhold.”

          Minho raised one eyebrow, golden brown eyes sparkling as he smiled. “And why can’t you?”

          “I may be possibly going to Riverwood to meet Jonghyun’s parents.”

          “Jinki, why that’s great!”

          “Yeah, so,” He cleared his throat before continuing, “Could you turn the traps off so they can come in?”

          “I don’t know. He did replace me.” Minho was smiling though and Jinki knew it was all in good fun. “Does he know about our past?”

          “He does.”

          “Does he know we’ve slept together since?”

          “He knows we’ve seen each other since that I’m still in contact with you.” Jinki watched as the man walked toward the huge tree by his house, climbing up the added steps in the trunk to the crossbow loaded on one of the branches. “Why? Planning on getting me into your bed again?”

          Minho’s bark of laughter was loud enough, Jinki thought Jonghyun and Taemin could have heard it clearly. “As much fun as that’d be,” He swung to the next branch to disable the other trap. He winked at Jinki as he finished. “You seem happy. I wouldn’t want to that up.”

          “Appreciated.”

          As Minho landed onto the grass by the tree, he wiped his hands off on his pants. He walked toward the house and quipped, “Go get your lover boy. I promise I won’t bite.”

-----

          The first thought Jonghyun has when he walks into the cabin after Jinki is that while his sketches were great, they didn't do Minho's looks justice. The next is why the is he so tall as he stands to greet them. Taemin rushes over, crashing into him in a big hug with a holler of his name, and Jonghyun notices the soft, fond smile pulling at Jinki’s lips at the display. Then the attention is on him and Minho is holding out his hand. “You must be Jonghyun. It’s good to meet you.”

          Clasping his hand, it was rough, yet strong. Probably from years of working with a bow. “Likewise.”

          Minho looked him up and down before looking at Jinki. “I approve Jinnie.”

          “Like I need your approval.”

          “You don’t, but I still give it.” Minho then smiled at little Taemin, “How about you help me cook the doe I have out back, hmm? I bet you’re starving.”

          “I haven’t had meat in weeks.” The boy happily quipped, rushing over to him to help.

          Minho looked over at Jinki and scuffed playfully. “What have you even been doing to take care of him?”

          Jinki rolled his eyes as they left, turning to Jonghyun as the back door banged close after them. He smiled, stepping closer to squeeze his hand. “You okay?”

          “He’s a lot hotter than I pictured.”

          “I don’t know if that’s an insult or a compliment.” Jinki pressed a kiss to his forehead. “He means well, mostly.”

          As he went to take off his armor for the night, Jinki followed him into the spare bedroom. “You share ownership of this land?”

          Jinki leaned against the door frame with his arms across his chest. “I do. When we broke up, I figured it was too much hassle to separate our names on the deed. It’s served its purposes when I needed a place to stay on my travels.”

          “So, you’ve been here since… you ended it.”

          “Mm, no more secrets.” Jinki took the few steps to sit on the bed, leaning against the backboard, legs crossed before him, as he looked at Jonghyun getting undressed at the foot of the bed. “I will always be very close friends with Minho. It’s easy around him. He’s been a part of every life-changing moment I’ve been through. When Jaewha died, he rushed up there to be there for me. Without him and Kibum, I doubt I would have had the restraint I had to not burn that city to the ground in my grief.”

          “I know you love me Jinki, but there is a self-doubting thought in the back of my mind that keeps making me think,” Jonghyun softly laid his plate on the floor under the window, turning with his hands on his hips. “That one day you’ll wake up and realize that you regret ending it and maybe reconcile. That I’m not him.”

          “We’ve tried and it didn’t work out. We missed our chance and I’ve come to terms with the fact our lives are leading different, if not sometimes crossing, paths. We want different things in life. I want to settle down, he doesn’t like staying in the same place for more than a month.” Jinki patted his lap once Jonghyun was out of his armor completely. “Close the door and c’mere, Love.”

          The door clicked close with a soft woosh before he was climbing up the bed and gently sitting on his lap. Jonghyun pouted as he played with Jinki’s fingers resting on his tummy. “I’m sorry. You must think I’m silly.”

          “Never silly.” Jinki lifted his chin and pressed a kiss to his lips, “I won’t belittle your worries. Do you trust me to be faithful to you?”

          “Yes.”

          “I love you and I hope you’ll trust me in my friendship with him.”

          “Who called it quits the second time?” He hesitantly asked, eyes flicking over Jinki’s expression as the man answered.

          “I did.”

          “How long ago was it?”

          “About a year before I met you.” Jonghyun hummed before falling silent. Jinki squeezed his hands, voice warm as he spoke again. “Talk to me, Love.”

          “Have you had on this bed?”

          “Not yet.” Jinki rose an eyebrow when Jonghyun blushed slightly. “Changing that has all to do with you tonight, Love.”

          “You’re really insufferable.”

          “Hey,” A kiss was pressed to the corner of his mouth, but Jinki only pulled away far enough that their noses brushed. “I’m not trying to diverge the conversation. I don’t want you uncomfortable around him.”

          “I trust you. If I can trust you with my life I can trust you to be friends with a man you’ve known since you were a child and still be with me.”

          “If you are uncomfortable with anything, talk to me, okay?” When Jonghyun nodded with a soft smile, Jinki wrapped his arms around him. “And I mean anything. We’ll talk things out.”

          “Can you hold me for a little bit?”

          Of course, he would, Jonghyun should have known. They laid down with Jonghyun mostly on top of him, his head pressed into Jinki’s neck and arms tight around each other, until Taemin came knocking to tell them it was dinner time.

-----

          The firepit was very warm in the center of the room. Minho had given his room up to Taemin for the night, opting to take the couch. Jinki found a bottle of his wine in the basement, sipping from the bottle slowly as Jonghyun leaned back against his chest. Minho gazed at them softly before saying, “I expected someone taller. You’ve always had a thing for taller guys.”

          Jinki took a sip of his wine before placing his chin on Jonghyun’s shoulder, gazing over at Minho. “The last two tall men I slept with didn’t end well, so I decided to switch it up.”

          Minho almost spit out his ale he was laughing so hard. Once he calmed down enough he happily asked, “Is he a good , Jonghyun?”

          “We are NOT doing this.” Jinki hissed, face and neck turning red.

          Jonghyun, who apparently had other plans, shrugged from under his blanket. “I’m not complaining.”

          “I was worried he’d level out in his old age.”

          “Keep it up Matchstick.” Jinki squinted, but he wasn’t really that menacing with how curled he was around Jonghyun.

          “Why is his name Matchstick?” Came the soft question after Jonghyun turned his head a little to ask Jinki.

          “We met when he knocked over a lamp and his hair caught on fire.” Jonghyun giggled quietly, eyes fluttering a little in his drowsiness at the reply. “I had to push him into the stream running through Markarth to put it out.”

          “I’ve tried to live it down, but he’s stubborn if nothing else.” Jonghyun found he was warmed by the way Minho looked at Jinki. There was a softness to the gaze, a fondness that told him he cared for Jinki. Maybe the idea of soulmates didn’t just include romantic ones. “Before we set out tomorrow morning, I must know, Jinnie. Have you told Taemin?”

          It was then a small voice came from the shadows dancing on the wall, “Tell me what?”

          Jinki could feel all eyes in the room fall on him, but he couldn’t find the words just yet. He thought he’d have more time to think of what to say, to think of how to go about telling the boy he did have a family. He swallowed thickly, shaking his head when Jonghyun tried to comfort him quietly and untangled himself from him to stand. After a deep breath, he approached Taemin slowly. “I think we should go into the other room to talk.”

          “Jinki?” The worry in those eyes made Jinki’s heart hurt.

          “Come on. There’s something I should have told you a very long time ago.” Taemin allowed him to lead him into the room the boy had just vacated. “Sit down, sweetheart.”

          “I’m a little scared.”

          Jinki sat beside him and sighed. “I hope one day you’ll forgive me, Taemin. You’ve always asked about your family, of your parents. When I told you I didn’t know much about them, I lied.”

          “What?” Taemin pulled back, twisting so his leg was up on the bed, brows furrowed as his tone of voice rose. “What do you mean?”

          “Your mother was a very smart, powerful and beautiful woman. She was kind and loving, mighty protective of those she cared about and those who needed a voice.” Jinki couldn’t bring himself to look at Taemin as he finished his thought, “I know, because she was my mother too.”

          “Wh-what?” His voice was just above a whisper, his bottom lip trembling as his eyes widened. “You’re my brother?”

          “I am.” He curled and uncurled his fingers in the fabric of his pants, trying to stop them from shaking so badly before he took the chance to look at Taemin. It broke his heart seeing him so shaken and afraid, betrayed… by him. “I was on my way to meet you for the first time when she… died.”

          “Why didn’t you tell me?” Taemin scowled, pushing off the bed to stand, arms held taunt at his sides and hands curled into fists as his voice rose. “All the times I asked about my parents, about my family! You knew and you just let me believe no one wanted me, that I had no one left!”

          “Everything I touch Taemin dies or leaves. I watched over you, I made sure you were taken care of and educated. I protected you in the only way I knew how, from afar.” Jinki’s head fell into his hands, fingers pushing into his hair as he sighed, heart aching. “How was I supposed to tell you I was your brother and raise you by myself when I hadn’t worked through my own grief? You deserve more than me, but I’m the only family you have.”

          “Is my father really dead?”

          Jinki whipped his head up, eyes b with tears. “No.”

          “No?” Taemin stumbled back, gripping the wood of the door frame clumsily. “Than you aren’t my only family.”

          “Don’t make me say this Taemin. Just.. please think your father was killed.”

          “Why? Just because you don’t have a father doesn’t mean I shouldn’t.”

          “You don’t understand, Taemin. There are things you shouldn’t have to know.”

          “I don’t want to be lied to anymore.” He clenched his teeth together before almost yelling. “Tell me!” When he refused once again, Taemin screamed it.

          Each word that came from his mouth was a stab to his heart. “Your father our mother. If I ever met him, I’d kill him myself.”

          Silence fell and all Jinki could hear was the harsh beating of his own heart, until finally, Taemin quietly said, “Please get out.”

          “Taemin-”

          “Get out, Archmage.”

          Jinki closed his mouth, pressing his lips together and willing the tears down for just a few minutes longer as he stood. As he stepped through the door he looked back and quietly said, “I am sorry.”

          “I know.” And then the door was closed in his face.

-----

          Jinki couldn’t recall much of the night before other than somehow he had made his way into bed after telling Taemin the truth. When he woke up his head hurt and his chest ached. He turned, expecting to see Jonghyun sleeping, but instead he was up, quietly eating whatever food was on the plate in his hand. He turned slowly, smiling softly as he ran a hand through Jinki’s hair when he noticed him awake. “Good Morning, Babe. How do you feel?”

          “Like .”

          “At least you’re honest.” He removed his hand to grab the fork on the plate, holding food down to him. “Eat. It’ll help.”

          Jinki groaned as he pushed up, taking the fork to eat the door. He squinted at the bright light coming into the room through the window. “What time is it?”

          “Probably late morning.” Jonghyun looked at him for a long minute before handing him the plate and reaching over to the side table. “Taemin left with Minho a few hours ago. He left this for you.”

          Jinki ran his fingers softly over the folded parchment. “He’s gone?”

          “He is,” Jonghyun frowned, cupping Jinki’s cheek.

          “I wanted to say goodbye, I-” Quickly the plate was removed from his hands and discarded behind Jonghyun, so he could take Jinki’s face into both of his hands, to focus his attention.

          “You’ll see him again. He needs time to process what you told him. Have patience. You won’t lose him.”

          “How do you know?”

          “For one, he did threaten to turn me into a brute Icicle again if I hurt his brother before he left.” He pressed a kiss to his forehead before finishing, “And second, I heard him tell you he loved you when he dropped the letter off. Just give him time.”

          Jinki’s gaze fell to the letter held in his hands for a moment, before he quietly asked, “Can you leave me alone to read it?”

          “I’ll be here when you need me.” Once he detangled himself from Jinki and the blankets, Jonghyun slipped on his boots and headed out of the door, closing it behind him. After one final deep breath, he unfolded the paper.

          Dear Jinki,

                    I’m sorry I made you leave. I just wanted to think by myself. I’m mad and hurt that you lied, but mostly because… you’re my brother and you’ve made me feel like I was alone. I need time to forgive you, but, maybe when you come back home we can talk more, okay?

Love,

Your Little Brother

          Jinki found himself smiling a little at the final words. He folded the paper and wiggled out of bed, putting it between a few pages in his sketchbook. It hadn’t gone the way he had wanted when he told Taemin, but there was still hope things could be fixed once he returned home. And that’s all that mattered.

-----

          The Cabin was locked up soundly and Jinki didn’t look back as they stepped out of the shade of the trees. The sun was bright high in the afternoon sky. As he took a deep breath, his eyes fluttered a little. “Are you okay, Babe?”

          Jinki slowly looked at him, before smiling. “I think I am.”

          Jonghyun grinned so beautifully at that, wind whipping his hair from his face. Before them stood a path to the nearest town, hopefully, that would sell them horses, and then off to Riverwood. When he had offered Jonghyun his room all those months ago at eventide, he had never dreamed he’d be returning very close to where they set off from together, to meet Jonghyun’s mother. He tried not to think too much about that just yet, or his nerve would ruin him. Instead, he focused on the soft squeeze of Jonghyun’s hand in his before they let go, continuing down the path.

 

A/n: I do hope you enjoyed this! I do have a sequel planned and few one-shots to connect the two.
Thank you for reading <3