"Taehyung! Wake up!" I open my eyes to see my surrounding. Its morning again and like every past years I am all alone in my room on my cold bed. But as always, I get woken up by my best friend's voice.Only if it was him standing on the edge of my bed and waking me up, not any recorded voice for my alarm. Sometimes I wish he really was here, waking me up for my university and screaming at the top of his lungs so that my eyes open and tickling me in my sleep. I miss his voice, his funny faces, his everything. Each day it feels like he is really here but he isn't.

It has been three years since he is gone and I'm alone to graduate. Jeon Jeongguk, I miss you. We don't even talk over the phone much now, we both have been busy with our life. I am trying my best to study hard but everything seems incomplete.

"Taehyung! Have your breakfast dear!" My mom shouts from downstairs. "Yes mom!" My mom makes breakfast everyday for me, she tries hard to keep me smiling and I try hard not to cry. I am not sad but not happy either.

I pass by the park, its still the same. Kids playing, couples having their own good time.

"Kookie! Let's play hide and seek" "Okay The but you have to find me"  Little 10 year old Taehyung closed his eyes, in a minute the 9 year old Jeongguk his somewhere. Taehyung looked around everywhere but he couldn't find the latter. He thought he would find him but he couldn't. He called out his name desperately. But no one answered back, at this moment little Taehyung was scared. Scraed if anything bad happened, his eyes were watering. Panic stated in his eyes.

Then suddenly "Boo!" . Taehyung flinced hearing the loud voice that rang in his right ear from behind. He saw Jeongguk was standing there, arms wrapped around his small tummy but he couldn't control his big laugh and tears. Jeongguk was showing his bunny teeth.Taehyung on the other hand was scared to death and didn't like the joke even a little bit. "Why did you do that? I was scared for you kookie" Taehyung said, still tears in his eyes and trying to control his red cute runny nose. He was sniffling. Only then Jeongguk realized what he had done, "I thought it was f-funny"  he said regretting his childish actions. He looked down with sad eyes. "I am sorry TaeTae, I won't ever scare you again" Taehyung turned his fade on the other side, still mad. "Is my Taehyungie mad with me? With his cute kookie?" Jeongguk said while pinching the latter's cheeks. The other one slapped his hands away."You are not cute. So shut up small kid" Taehyung said. Jeongguk pouted cutely, his pink lips being as fluffy as ever. "Really?" Before Taehyung could oppose, he was attacked with the little tickle monster. He bursted out laughing and falling on the ground. Tears formed in his eyes. "S-stop! It ti-tickles. Haha" "I won't stop unless you've forgiven your kookie and call him cute" Taehyung was still a mess under the small Kookie. He was tickiling him hard and both of them couldn't stop their giggles. "Fine. You are fo-forgiven and m-my Kookie is c-cute" he giggled.

Jeongguk suddenly stopped and stared into his bestfriend's eyes deeply. "Kookie will never make his little Tae cry. Can I kiss your eyes? I don't like your tears" Taehyung nodded smiling. Jeongguk placed a sweet and a gentle peck on both of Taehyung's eyes. His lips were so soft and warm. It made the older's heart melt. This is when they felt something weird in their tummies for the first time. "Better Taehyungie?" Taehyung placed a kiss on his forehead as a reply. "Better than ever"

​​​​​​​​​​​I look at the old park and unknowingly smile. When we were kids we used to fight, scream but in the end we would still be two idiot yet loving friends. Being a kid was easy. Life was like a rainbow then. Everything was full of colours and sugar. We were always so much happy. Nothing could come in our way of having fun and happiness. I am still waiting for the day when he suddenly would me from behind and would whisper a 'I am back' into my ears.

I was in a small cafe owned by one of my friends Jin. I saw two guys having their hands intertwined. They were staring deeply into eyes as if the world stopped, so carefree. They looked happy. Will I be like this someday? Happy with a guy? Happy being accepted? Happy being with Jeongguk? Would he like to be with me too? Will he ever like a guy? Probably not.

I got out of my own trance when I saw waffles and mango juice in front of me."Here is your order,Taehyung. Enjoy" said Hoseok, my classmate. I smiled at him. Whenever I feel too lonely, I come here to chat with Jin and Hoseok. They are the only friends I have now. They can be weird at times but inside they are soft and nice. Whenever I miss Jeongguk too much, at least I have a shoulder to cry on.

I feel my phone vibrating and I pick up the call. It was Jeongguk, finally after weeks.

"Tae?"

"Yeah?"

"How are you? Its been weeks hearing your voice."

"I am good Kookie. How about you? How is business going on?"

"Everything is good Tae. I am doing good. But are you okay? Are you taking care of yourself?"

"Yes"

A lie

"Tae?"

"Hmm"

"I miss you" 

"I miss you too and l-love y-you" 

The line fell silent for a second.

"Love you too Taehyungie" 

If only if he knew my love is different than his.

Don't know why but tears slipped off my eyes after ending the call. "He is close to your heart" I said to myself.

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