003

“W—what are you doing at here?” Renjun’s pupils narrowed and seemed to flee from the expanding whites of his eyes. He couldn't believe it. Lee Jeno’s just talked to him. But the weird thing is, he talked in a nice way–? What is going on?

[ Flashback. ]

“Huang Renjun, can you please step forward and explain to the whole class how to solve this question?”

Renjun’s gulped nervously— math was never his favorite subject at the first place. Being in this class wasn't his favorite either. But his brother wants Renjun’s to be an architect— just like him.

But he hates it— especially being forced to do something he dislike. Only-God-knows-how-much-he-hate-it. But, he couldn't say no. His brother is the only person Renjun’s will never be able to just say “no” to. His brother is Renjun’s everything. He wasn’t able to looked at his brother face; A face filled with disappointment— when he told him, he wants to take art classes instead of architecture. He hate math. Math is the language of architecture. There is a proverb that goes; “If you can not become comfortable with math and couldn't understand the language— you have no hope in success.”

But— Renjun’s don't want to let his brother down. He don't want to disappoint him. He had no choice. No matter how much he hates math, he have to take that class. He thought. That's the only way he could do for his brother— to repay for all the love, sacrifice, time, effort and money Winwin’s has put for him after he lost both of their parents.

[ Renjun’s POV ]

“So, yeah.” Renjun’s heaved a long and heavy sighed.

“Here I am— staying in this architecture class as a student who people didn’t know existed, a student who were mistakenly marked absent, a student who listened actively yet felt invisible and a student teachers often assume that it’s not worth talking to or getting to know because I don’t have anything to say and they thought I don’t have potential.”

“I gotta admit that I'm a slow learner, but hey— does being a slow learner make you stupid? We’re all different, aren't we? We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all learn in different ways, and we can be fast learners in some ways and not in others— right?”

“...I'm just not good in things such as math while everyone learns it fast. Eventually I get it though. I'm not dumb ya’know. I'm just slow. But why my classmates and the teachers treat me like I am the stupidest and the most useless person alive?” He sighed.

“Is it because I don't speak much like the other students–? I want to speak, but I think it's not necessary to speak when I have nothing to say. I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just having a hard time to speak. I have trouble starting and continuing conversations. I can't even bring myself to start the conversation because I don't know what to say besides: Hey. I literally blank out when it comes to speaking. People have no idea how much time I spend trying to formulate my speech before I actually say it out loud. Why can't they understand that?”

“Huff~ I wish they knew how much effort I’ve put to speak up. But, they didn't. All they know is making fun and embarrass me infront of people.”

Renjun’s walked slowly to the front class, his steps were heavy. He don't want to do it. What's the point of explaining to the whole class when they never listened? But, he has no choice.

“You can do this, Huang Renjun. Believe in yourself. If you didn't, who else will?” He thought.

He exhales heavily, before he explain how to solve the question written on the whiteboard to his classmates.

“Can you please speak louder? I can't hear you!” Jeno’s shouted from his seat.

Yes, that's Lee Jeno.

He is the most charming and smartest student in this class probably in this school. He’s got looks girls swoon over, he’s good at studies and sports too. He’s perfect— but not for Huang Renjun.

For Renjun, he is a nothing but a piece of crap. Why? Because—

“How much the gold in your mouth worth, Huang Renjun?” Jeno sarcastically asked with his head cocked to the side slightly. The whole class burst into roars of laughter.

“Speak up, Huang Renjun! Oh wait— you brush your teeth this morning right?” Jeno’s asked another sarcastic question making the whole class burst into another laughter.

That's it. That is the reason why Renjun’s hates Lee Jeno so freaking much.

“Ew, that's gross.” One of the classmates shouted.

Renjun’s rolled his eyes upwards, making a way to his seat. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. He don't want to show his emotions. He don't want to be seen as weak especially infront of Lee Jeno. He'll
only make it worse if he sees Renjun’s cry.

If only Renjun’s could show Jeno’s how awful he made him feel.

“Ah. He probably don't care.” Renjun’s thought.

× ———— ×

“That's too much, man!” Mark’s shook his head in disbelief.

“W—what? What did I do?” Jeno asked, blinking his eyes innocently.

“Do you think your so-called jokes hilarious? You almost made him cry!”

“Who?”

“Renjun!”

“Oh.”

“Just oh? You don't feel bad at all?” Mark’s asked, crossing his arms against his chest.

“I—” Jeno’s paused, couldn't say a word.

“You want Renjun’s talk to you, but you treat him like that? What the hell is wrong with you, Lee Jeno? I know you're trying to get his attention but, that's not how you do it. You’re only making him hate you even more. Ah, that poor little guy.” Mark’s sighed. “You better treat him right, if you don't want to be hated by someone you love.”

“What didya say? I— I don't love him.” Jeno’s denied.

“You’re in love with him, man. I can see it through your eyes.”

“I—”

“Stop hurting him. I know you're dying to hear his voice, but that's not how you do it. Don't embarrass him infront of the people— just don't do it. There's a lot of ways to talk to him, Jeno ya.” Mark’s gently patted Jeno’s on the shoulder. “We’re living in reality not in drama. Do you think Renjun, the quiet kid will fall in love with bad boy like you? No. Wake up. I’m pretty sure he's preferred someone who will appreciate him.”

Mark’s was right. That's not how you treat someone you love. Jeno’s has hurting Renjun so much in the past— until now.

Jeno appreciates Renjun’s existence. He always did. He just didn't know how to show it. And plus, Renjun’s seems not interested in talking to him when Jeno’s approached him for the first time. He barely response to his questions. Everytime Jeno’s asked him something, he will answer with “hm, yes, no” or simply nodded his head.

“Am I not attractive and interesting enough for Huang Renjun?” Jeno’s thought.

He let out a long sighed escaped through his lips and resting his head against the desk.

“I’ve do a lot of things to get Renjun’s attention and this is the only way that works. He never looked at me before. But, everytime I made him mad— he will look at me. I know he didn't look at me in loving and affectionate ways, but somehow it makes me happier.” Jeno’s smiled bitterly.

“He always forget my name even though we're staying in the same class for three years, but now I'm glad. He remembers me and— my name.”

“Aha yes. He remember you, but as a jerk.” Mark rolled his eyes in a circle round. “Do you like that? To be known as a jerk? Ugh. I really don't understand you, Lee Jeno.”

“What else I could do, Mark?” Jeno asked, another long sighed slip through his lips.

“How about you greet him in a good manners? Show him your smile, be genuinely happy but don't be too happy. That's weird. You can start with saying hi and ask him how he is.”

“What the —? Do you think he will accept my ‘hi’ after everything I’ve done to him?”

“Oh, oh! Maybe you can compliment him like “You look beautiful today” then walk away. That'll leave him confused, but flattered and thinking about you!”

“...........”

“What do you think?” Mark tilted his head to the side, wiggling his eyebrows.

“If this doesn't work, I’ll dragged you to the hell.”

“I’m hella sure it will!”

× ————— ×

“W—what are you doing at here?” Renjun’s pupils narrowed and seemed to flee from the expanding whites of his eyes.

“Start from now on, I’ll be sitting here. Next to you.” A wide smiles plastered all over Jeno’s face.