chapter 7
the psychology of good studentsKyungsoo waits for Jooyoung after the lecture is over. Once she is done, they walk side by side down the steps, to the front of the room, where an exit is.
"Ms. Han Jooyoung."
Jooyoung flinches in her steps, unsure if she heard the Professor call her, and is about to continue walking when Kyungsoo nudges her with his shoulder and tilts his head slightly backward.
PCY, he mouths, and Jooyoung turns around to find Professor Park staring straight into her eyes. It's imposing, how his eyes are so large and never seen to blink, or soften.
But she isn't so scared of him now. After all he's the one who gave her the opportunity to go to London, which, the more she muses about, the more excited she gets.
She gestures Kyungsoo to leave first, and she deferentially makes her way to him and greets him. She tries to smile, but it's a bit difficult, because he doesn't greet back. Instead, his gaze shifts to the thin stack of paper on the table.
"I read through your essay," he says without expression. Then he stares directly at Jooyoung again. "Do you have anything to say about it?"
She is taken aback. What would she have to say about her submitted essay? Her most recent essay had been planned a week in advance, as usual (after tons of procrastination), written on time, and even sent to Kyungsoo for reviewing. What would she have to say about it?
"Um, no, Professor."
Professor Park sighs, and it's so deep it comes out like a low rumble. All that time, he doesn't take his devouring stare off her. Now, his eyebrows are furrowed, and he grabs a corner of the paper gingerly, before ing it at Jooyoung.
"I don't like to beat around the bush, so I'm going to get straight to the point," he icily says, hands folded tightly across his chest. "Your essay looks exactly the same as another student's. 100% similarity."
"What?" Jooyoung exclaims, perhaps slightly too loudly, and begins frantically flipping through the paper to check it. But it's no use, because she is so flustered and so absolutely scared that she can't register a single word. She had been reminded over and over again about the consequences of plagiarism that for her, it became one of the biggest crimes of all time. And now Professor Park is telling her that she had plagiarised someone else's work?
Professor Park hasn't blinked. "Plagiarism in our university means immediate expulsion. I'm sure you know of this. And of course, you won't be able to go on the exchange programme as well."
This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening.
Jooyoung feels her eyes well up with helpless tears. "There must be an error somewhere. I'm certain," she says, but her voice is shaking along with her hands. She clutches on to the paper as tightly as she can to prevent dropping it, and doesn't notice it crumple in her fist.
Professor Park sighs again and uncrosses his arms. "I know you're a bright student, Ms. Han, and that you badly want to be a First-Class Honours student, but using unscrupulous methods like this to achieve your goal is unacceptable."
Jooyoung feels a sore ache rise at the back of the throat, the kind she gets when she is about to cry a flood of tears. But she swallows, as hard as she can, wiping away the tears that have formed with a swift swipe of her hand, and implores, "May I ask which student's essay I have plagiarised?"
Professor Park raises an eyebrow at her, as if he is unsure what she would even do with this information. "Mr. Do Kyungsoo."
Her eyes round in shock. "Never!" She exclaims. "I would never use his essay for my work. Not in my next life."
Jooyoung plagiarising Do Kyungsoo's essay? What in the world was happening?
"We'll conduct more checks. But do know that if this situation remains status quo for another few days and we can’t find anything to back you up, the consequences would be dire." Professor Park stalks out of the room after giving Jooyoung one last hard glance, but she can't bring herself to look at him, or greet him goodbye. Her tears have stopped threatening to spill, and it is instead replaced with an erratic heartbeat.
She was mad.
She can't think rationally because a wave of annoyance is flooding over her, and all of a sudden all the memories of how genius Do Kyungsoo overshadows her in every way possible come rushing toward her. He doesn't even put in any effort, he didn't pay attention in lectures, or stay up until late studying, but he's still taking everything away from her.
And now he's ruining her entire life as well, by causing her (probable) expulsion and her exchange trip to go to dust.
She stomps out of the room, fuming. When she sees Kyungsoo waiting outside the hall for her, she doesn't hesitate to confront him, mostly because her mind is a mess and that's the only thing she wants to do right now. The sight of him alone irritates her so much she can’t think rationally.
"What the heck are you doing to my life?" She exclaims angrily. Kyungsoo looks more taken aback than she has ever seen him.
"Me? What did I do?" He questions, detaching himself from the wall he was leaning on, clearly puzzled by Jooyoung's outrage.
She scoffs. "I bet this happened because you used my essay and handed it in when we exchanged them for feedback," Jooyoung blurts, and although she knows she has no evidence and is being totally unfair right now, nothing can stop her. She is raging, and she doesn't care.
Kyungsoo's face contorts into a look of slight annoyance. "I have no idea what's going on, but what even gave you the idea I did that?"
Jooyoung knows where this is going. It's going to end up bad. But she doesn't want Kyungsoo in her life anymore. Ever since he enrolled in the same university (why didn't he go to an Ivy League, since he is so capable?) he has been nothing but trouble, even if she had just known about his existence a month ago.
"The nerve of you, gosh," Jooyoung spits sarcastically. She is shocked at the amount of spite in her voice — she's never spoken to anyone this way before, she's not the sort.
Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows for a second, and she can see him resisting rolling his eyes. But his face returns to how it usually looks — nonchalant and now that Jooyoung sees it, distant — in almost no time, and he merely crosses his arms. "If you're going to get so uptight about everything like this, I'm not sure of your capability to handle all everything on your hands, Student Government Vice President."
Her title sounds especially scathing in his voice, and it echoes in her head even long after she decides to leave him there and shamble away on her own.
Jooyoung doesn't manage to have lunch before reporting to the meeting for the exchange trip. It's one of the last meetings before the trip itself, and on the way there she keeps repeating to herself not to worry, that she'll be able to go in the end, that her name would be cleared. She doesn't notice her empty stomach because she feels slightly nauseous anyway, and very, very tired.
When she turns up at the room almost everyone turns their heads to look. "Sorry," she says, knowing she's late by a bit. She takes a quick, unintentional glance at Kyungsoo (who doesn't look up at all), and scurries to a seat where Minseok had pulled out for her.
Minseok looks slightly concerned — it isn't Jooyoung to be late to anything, especially not meetings like this where she knows it's going to affect everyone if she's not on time. But he doesn't probe. Instead, he goes ahead to hand out everyone's e-check in form.
"I've done up these slips for everyone so that we won't waste time in the airport on the day itself," he smiles, and Jooyoung is so detached she doesn’t even feel proud like she usually does that he's being an amazingly responsible secretary-treasurer even here.
"Thanks, mate." Jooyoung looks up because she doesn't expect Kyungsoo's voice to ring so clear. It seems like a long time since he sounded happy like that, or maybe it's because the only voice she hears now in her mind is the angry one.
But since when did Kyungsoo and Minseok become so close? Why is he so good at making friends? Why is she annoyed at this?
Minseok looks especially pleased, and he turns to stare straight at Kyungsoo. "No problem!" If Jooyoung didn't know better, Minseok may have looked like he was flirting with Kyungsoo. But definitely not. She is noticing way too many things today.
The meeting consists of four things, in summary.
One, all the usual meeting administrative stuff, the confirmation of details and completion of proposals and plans. Small talk. Buzz about London and the places they could visit in their free time. The campus they would be attending classes in. Weather, and the clothes they should be packing.
Two, Krystal smiling unnecessarily at everything in the meeting, squealing in an excessively high pitch at random points in excitement, and flirting with every single male student present, Kyungsoo included. And aside all that, making no useful contribution at all.
Three, Minseok and Kyungsoo chatting like they've been friends all their lives. Kyungsoo chatting with everyone like they've been friends all their lives.
Four, Kyungsoo and Jooyoung avoiding each other's gaze the entire time.
The crickets are loud in Jooyoung's room that night. She can't concentrate on anything, not even scrolling through social media. So she crawls out of bed and wraps herself in a big coat, then goes out of her room for a walk. She figures it'll clear her mind in some way or another.
Jooyoung can't even decipher what she's feeling now — it's part anger at Kyungsoo, part fear of being expelled, part disappointment at herself for everything she's put herself through so far, and part, pure fatigue. Her heart is heavy.
The night is chilly, and she tucks her hands in her pockets as she strolls around the dormitory buildings. It's quiet, and mostly dark, and besides a few students doing work in the food hall or at the benches along the corridor, it's mostly empty as well. Jooyoung strolls past the food hall, then a pantry, then room after room until she reaches the outdoor court.
She stops only because she is piqued by curiosity at the lean figure shooting a netball into a hoop with messy aim, then immediately positioning herself beneath it to catch it. She repeats this continuously, the ball bouncing off from the board (it isn’t even supposed to be a netball hoop) and her leaping to grab it. From her vague knowledge of Netball acquired through Physical Education classes back in elementary school, she knows the person is probably practising as a Goal Keeper. And she can recognise the figure anywhere, even if it is dark and she can only espy whooshes of her wavy hair flying elegantly in the wind.
Clad in a body hugging sports shirt and shorts is none other than Jooyoung’s favourite President, Krystal Jung. Jooyoung checks the time on her phone and wonders why she is out practising in the wee hours of the night. Momentarily, she wants to offer Krystal her coat, seeing that it is extremely chilly and no one should be out dressed so skimpily. But she thinks better of it and walks on, deciding she wouldn’t interrupt her swift jumps and smooth action.
Jooyoung returns to her room soon after, feeling the cold of the night seep into the layers of her clothing. She lies on her bed motionlessly for a few moments, then decides to stop throwing herself a pity party and rolls off of it, crawling to her desk instead. She checks her email, then decides to look at the essay Kyungsoo wrote again — the one that she apparently plagiarised, although they were doing their work on completely different topics. Her reply of feedback to him, she realises on second read, is pretty useless — since she didn’t know what to say, she had just commented on which parts she found needed a bit more clarity (although they were minor things, really), and a few other vague remarks here and there.
She then scans the essay itself, skimming through the numbers and statistics and carefully crafted paragraphs, then goes to look at the one she submitted through the school’s submission system.
It takes a while to load, but when it finally opens, and the words stare back at her all too imposingly, the first glance of the first page of the essay is enough to drive her into a frenzy. The crickets stop chirping and the room is pulled into a deafening silence.
At the top of the page in large, bold print, writes “Kyungsoo, Do. A Comparison of the Self-Perception Theory and the Social Comparison theory”.
Jooyoung feels faint as she re-reads it thrice over. Had she submitted the wrong essay after receiving Kyungsoo’s and saving it in her computer?
Oh gosh, yes, she did.
She is so, so screwed.
Her fingers twitching, she continues to stare at the screen because she can’t tear her eyes away from it. What is happening to her these days? She prides herself for her conscientiousness and carefulness even if she’s rushing her work. But this, this has got to be the biggest mistake she has ever made in her entire life.
She has so much at stake just for this silly mistake. Her grade for the course. Her goal of graduating with first-class Honours. (Still) Possible expulsion. Her entire –
“Kyungsoo!” She suddenly remembers, jumping out of her seat. She dashes to her phone feeling dread and stress fill her. For some reason the previous fear of her low grade has completely dissipated, and the only thing occupying her mind is now Kyungsoo — and the guilt Jooyoung feels for having caused him so much grief for nothing at all. She hurriedly dials his number and puts the phone next to her ear.
He must be so mad.
But he isn’t the sort to get petty.
Ring, ring.
This isn’t just a small issue.
Still, their friendship is worth more than that.
Ring, ring.
Kyungsoo must hate her.
No, Kyungsoo —
The customer cannot be reached at this point of time. Please leave a message after the beep. Thank you.
She considers putting down the phone, but she is not one who runs away from problems like that. So Jooyoung sharply inhales.
“Hello, Kyungsoo?” She whispers tentatively into the silent phone, then runs out of things to say immediately after. “Um... I’m really sorry. I don’t know what else to say. The entire fiasco about my essay just now? I didn’t have to shout. I’m sorry. Really.”
She bites her lip as the room is drained of her voice, then she takes a deep breath again. “Um, can you come to the convenience store tomorrow? I feel I should be apologising in person,” she flushes, then puts down the phone because her guilt is ripping her apart.
Han Jooyoung, Vice-President of the Student Government, feels the lapses of her personality consuming her whole.
Han Jooyoung, self-proclaimed chill and top-tier college student, is stressing out over an already submitted paper late into a cold fall night, but this time, mostly because she’s going to lose something she treasures, maybe even more than her grades.
Han Jooyoung, valedictorian of her high-school and potential honour roll student, almost forgets about her grades at stake when she goes to sleep that night.
Jina doesn’t come for her shift the next day because she has to attend a briefing for her upcoming residency. (“Help. I think I’m going to accidentally kill someone in there,” she whimpered to Jooyoung over the phone a few days ago. Jooyoung tried her best not to instinctively agree. She failed.)
The convenience store is unusually quiet without the usual chatter of Jina over new great dramas, group comebacks, and gorgeous guys. And Jooyoung can’t concentrate on anything when the lurching feeling in her stomach is eating her mind up.
Did Kyungsoo receive the voicemail? Will he come even if he did?
She ruffles her hair in frustration as she pulls her gaze away from the glass door. It seems like ages since her shift started but in reality, it has only been less than an hour. She needs to do something to distract herself, she decides.
“Yes, I will stop overthinking,” she asserts as she stands up decisively. Then she walks around the store and grabs food and drink off the shelves in quick swipes. Kyungsoo likes this instant spaghetti. This brand of coffee too. And this brand of cup noodles, even though he always buys the other ones because they’re cheaper. This bar of chocolate. This raincoat, just in case.
She wonders for a moment as she picks up the raincoat why she’s being so nice to him all of a sudden. Guilt, she reckons. There was some research done about it some time ago by some psychologist in the UK about how guilt triggers certain things to become obligations, she just doesn’t exactly remember the reasoning behind it now. Jooyoung pays for the items and waits.
Thirty minutes. An hour. Two hours. No Kyungsoo.
She feels her heart fall.
To: Scrooge
hey
To: Scrooge
did you receive my voicemail
To: Scrooge
come now please my shift is ending
Then she ponders for a moment.
To: Scrooge
and i bought you some stuff
they’re 100% free and from me
Jooyoung’s shift ends, but for the first time, she can’t believe it does. She smiles half-heartedly in acknowledgement at the boy who comes to take over her shift, then awkwardly tosses all her purchases into a plastic bag grabbed from the counter. She lugs the big bag to a seat and sits down in the store itself, ignoring the fact that the boy is watching her strangely.
Honestly, she doesn’t know what she’s waiting for either. It’s evident that Kyungsoo isn’t coming. He’s ignored all her calls and texts. And if it was Jooyoung in his position, she knows she wouldn’t come as well.
Which is why, fifteen minutes later when a short figure wearing khakis is spied strolling in the direction of the store, Jooyoung’s heart leaps in surprise and she can’t help but dash out to greet him.
a/n: my exams ended yesterday I'M LIVING
and look at me i can't even make drama last a single chapter lol sigh how does one develop actual, good plots??? i'm so attached to my characters i feel like protecting them i know this isn't normal but ah
okkk but to defend myself jooyoung isn't the sort of person in the first place to hide her feelings and prolong misunderstandings so... well :)
I OWED SO MANY OF YOU REPLIES i’m so sorry!! just replied to everyone i hadn’t replied to aaa but i hope everyone’s having a great 2019 so far! i think it’ll take a while before my next story because of circumstances.... but i promise i’ll be back :”)
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