chapter 20
the psychology of good studentsIt is 1:39am and Jooyoung is sitting in the dark, cross-legged on the bed. She’s back in her faculty tee and pyjama pants, with all the makeup long removed from her face and her hair back in a messy cascade just past her shoulders.
She wills herself not to check her phone again. Her battery level has gone down 10% just because she keeps switching on her phone to check the time (and if there’re any messages) and switching it off again.
Her heart is still beating fast and her head is a giddy mess and her mind is just going Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, stop thinking about Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, kiss, Kyungsoo. And it’s really difficult, but she’s trying her best to convince herself of a few things.
One, she doesn’t need to go to Kyungsoo’s room right now. Definitely not. Her bed is comfortable enough and has all her favourite smells of floral softener and something vanilla-like. Doesn’t matter if it doesn’t exactly smell like Kyungsoo. Besides she doesn’t need to snuggle in his arms to sleep right now. She’s been sleeping alone for almost her entire life. Who needs Kyungsoo’s arms? Who needs Kyungsoo’s scent? Who needs Kyungsoo’s breath on her neck?
Two, she doesn’t need a text. He’d already said goodnight to her when he dropped her off at her room. No point sending another text saying exactly the same thing. Also, you can’t get a kiss via text, so what’s the point? Screw texts. She doesn’t need them.
Three, she doesn’t already miss Kyungsoo like an idiot.
It has literally been merely two hours. She can still taste him on her lips. The adrenaline still hasn’t died off yet. She can’t miss him yet, not now. She can’t miss his arms and his face and his eyes and the little mole on his neck and his cute ears and his soft voice –
Jooyoung crumples her body into a ball and flops downwards onto her bed. She feels the little resolve that was painstakingly inching into her mind completely do a free fall and disappear.
Screw everything. She needs to go to Kyungsoo’s room right now. She needs a text from him. She misses Kyungsoo already. So much it makes her want to lose control. She’s felt something like this before, some nights where she was tired but couldn’t fall asleep. She wanted badly to receive a text from nowhere wishing her goodnight for the second (or third) time, or be able to crawl into his blankets with his arms protectively wrapped around her.
She felt she couldn’t go to his room then, because what right did she have? But now, she feels she can hold the universe in her hands, she can do anything.
So Jooyoung flings her hair backwards in order to clear her line of vision, grabs her keys and phone in a single swipe and hurtles out of her room, her slippers hardly worn properly.
She’s hit by a gust of cold wind as soon as she steps out and her toes curl in her open-toed slippers. She ignores the goosebumps forming on her skin and stomps forward, determined as ever to reach Kyungsoo’s room. For a second Jooyoung almost laughs at herself for being such a noob at dating, feeling all the emotions flood her too much. But she can’t care less if guys don’t like clingy girls. Kyungsoo may like them. You never know.
She turns round a corner and is about to take the staircase down when she sees a guy run up the stairs and fling open the door. The guy looks up at her, and they lock eyes for a second.
Then she begins to laugh.
“You’re crazy,” she exclaims between her giggles. “Do Kyungsoo, you’re crazy.”
He breathes heavily, a sheen of sweat lining his cheeks. Bending slightly to catch his breath, he stares back up at Jooyoung, a smile forming. “Says you. Aren’t you out here as well?”
“I totally didn’t come out because I missed you,” she blurts, then feels her face heat at her blunder.
“I didn’t either,” he says indignantly, still panting, but Jooyoung can always tell when he’s not telling the truth. Aw.
She grins. “You look like you ran a marathon.”
He gets up then, and it is only now that Jooyoung realises how broad his shoulders are. No wonder he envelops her so well when they hug. It’s like she fits there, like she was born to be his missing puzzle piece.
“And you look cold,” he observes, his chest still huffing from running all the way to her block and up the stairs. Kyungsoo fusses over her, pulling her hands into his and rubbing it. She doesn’t know how to explain that his touch is already sending the sun shining on her to feed her with warmth. He mumbles something about running out in a t-shirt and slippers, before sandwiching her body in between his arms, her back on his chest. He curls his arms around her body. Then he begins waddling forward, Jooyoung still trapped in his variation of a back-hug.
“What are you doing,” she asks, laughing.
“Going to your room. Being a penguin. Spreading my body heat to my baby.”
Oh gosh. Jooyoung has officially become Kyungsoo’s baby. Her heart melts. She didn’t expect him to be the sort of person who would give his girlfriend pet names, nor come over in the middle of the night because he missed her (although he insists otherwise), nor randomly hug her in the corridor — guess all these aren’t unnecessary to him.
They tumble into the room and fall on her bed, Jooyoung still trapped in his arms. He makes sure the blanket covers her, before nuzzling his nose into her neck, then landing a soft butterfly kiss on her shoulder. His legs drape across hers and his scent engulfs her.
“Kyungsoo,” she calls softly.
“Mm.” His voice is a mere comforting vibration on the back of her neck.
“Just now what you said before you kissed me.” I planned my first kiss for someone I want to spend my entire life with. It keeps repeating in her head and she knows she has to address it before the giddy tornado gets stronger.
“Yes?” He asks sleepily. He moves his arm slightly, until it covers her abdomen and makes it warm.
“Entire life?” She asks cautiously, her heart pounding, not because she’s scared of what Kyungsoo would respond to her bringing it up, but because the prospect of ‘entire life’ sends weird electricity circling her bloodstream.
“You know I’m always sure,” he says huskily, as if he’s afraid she would be insecure, and presses his lips to the top of her ear, like a wax seal.
And she trusts him, of course, because he’s Do Kyungsoo, and Jooyoung has learnt to trust him with anything and everything. “Mm. I know.”
She feels a smile spread on his lips, brushing the tip of her ear near where her hair is. “Goodnight, Han Jooyoung,” he whispers, his lips tickling her ear, his breath like a anecdote for any worries.
With his voice being the last thing she hears before she closes her eyes, she knows already she’s going to have the best night of sleep ever.
Jooyoung feels it doesn’t change much whether they’re dating or not. Or maybe they’ve just been dating unknowingly already, because everything seems so familiar. Their hands are still intertwined as they stroll to their lectures, his thumb brushing the back of her palm every moment or so, them joking and cackling over the most ridiculous things. Kyungsoo still waits for her after every class, doing his assignments (or slacking off again) on his computer. Jooyoung still gets Kyungsoo his favourite stuff from the convenience store every time she has her shift because well, she’s used to it.
It’s nice.
And the day passes just like any other day. And for some reason (is this what dating does to you?) Jooyoung’s especially proud to be holding Kyungsoo’s hand as they wait in front of the lecture theatre for the previous class to end. He’s not going for the lecture, he’s just accompanying Jooyoung in waiting, like always, and it’s so sweet for him to sacrifice so much time sometimes she feels a little bad.
Jooyoung can feel the gaze of a boy from her class on them, so she looks up directly at him and waves, just so that he knows she’s aware. He smiles and goes over, as if he’s been waiting for his cue.
He blatantly looks down at their joined hands so Jooyoung squeezes them tighter, just so that he knows she’s not ashamed the slightest. Then he looks up again and grins at Kyungsoo in particular.
“No more Krystal?” He asks, almost brazenly, and Jooyoung raises her eyebrows at him. What the heck — it’s either that he’s been living under a rock or he’s just being obnoxious (although she strongly suspects the latter) because the time the rumour was spreading like wildfire Kyungsoo’s also been denying it to no end. And besides, it’s been a dead conversation topic. Does he really need to bring it up in front of Jooyoung?
Kyungsoo shakes his head at the guy. “Was never, bro,” he smiles. Kyungsoo is too nice to attack anyone outright, and too unbothered to get angry. He tugs Jooyoung towards him, slinging an arm protectively around her shoulder and across her neck in a comfortable headlock. She rests her chin on his arm as he continues, “I’m Han Jooyoung’s."
Her anger dissipates immediately.
The boy laughs, his next line directed towards Jooyoung. “Wow. If he’s dating you, something’s finally going to make this bum study.”
“He doesn’t need to,” she retorts breezily, just because she doesn’t exactly like him already. Of course she can tell he’s just teasing, and it’s not like Kyungsoo minds people calling him a bum, but only she can attack him with words like this. As well as maybe some of his closer friends. Not just a random boy in his class, although Kyungsoo would probably say he’s a friend. But just let her be dumbly protective if she wants.
“True,” the boy nods. Then he places his hands in his pockets and grins, deciding to end the conversation since he can probably sense Jooyoung’s mild hostility. “Well, last long! Wait ‘til Jae knows about this, though. He’s going to be so upset.”
“Jae?” Jooyoung is confused. Isn’t he the boy who keeps lending her notes for no reason? She was so stressed out in the beginning because she had no idea how to make sure he didn’t feel upset over her awkwardness, but now she’s learnt to give up wasting her energy and give him straight-up ‘no’s. So she doesn’t think much about him anymore.
“Yeah. He voluntarily writes lesson notes for you even when you don’t need them, doesn’t he?” The boy gives an all-knowing smile, before stalking off. From the corner of her eye Jooyoung sees Kyungsoo looking at her, so she rests her head on his arm.
“I told you about him before. Long time ago. He was on my list of worries which you told me was unnecessary. You know, this boy who’s just been extremely nice and kind to me whom I didn’t know how to repay because it’s not like I want his kindness anyway?” She’s speaking especially fast, but it’s not as if she’s under compulsion to prove herself, she’s just feeling the want to.
“I don’t really remember,” Kyungsoo admits.
“That’s okay. It doesn’t matter.”
He shuffles slightly. “That guy was saying this Jae person likes you?”
“Apparently,” she nods. “But it makes sense, because why else would he do such a thing?”
Students pour out of the lecture theatre then, and he lets go of her neck, making her wish she had brought a scarf because it’s suddenly so cold. Kyungsoo doesn’t say a word as she waves goodbye to him. But he looks hesitant when he waves back, like he doesn’t want to leave, and keeps muttering something she can’t hear.
“What’s with your expression,” she laughs. He’s giving her an unreadable one, and she doesn’t get an answer before he decisively marches over to her side, then slides his hand back into hers. She raises her eyebrows at him.
“Aren’t you going into class?” He asks, nudging her. She is genuinely confused because she does have to go, but from now tightly he’s holding onto her hand it seems like he wants her to skip class to accompany him.
So she shrugs, keeping an eye on his unchanging reaction. “I guess?”
“Then let’s go.” Kyungsoo pulls Jooyoung into the lecture theatre to attend the class even though he’s not supposed to. But he’s Kyungsoo and all the lecturers and professors who know him love him, so it doesn’t matter anyway.
“What does the Jae guy look like?” Kyungsoo asks the moment they enter, his eyes darting around in search for the boy.
“Why are you so curious about him?”
He seems to be ridden by a guilt of some sort, so he doesn’t answer for a while. And when Jooyoung thinks she hears something from him, it’s just his muttering again. This time she manages to catch what he’s chanting over and over. “I am not a confrontational person, I am not a confrontational person...”
“Non-confrontational my foot. You confront me every day about debts I have toward you,” she teases.
He ignores her completely. “I am not a confrontational person, I am not a confrontational person...”
“What are you even sa-“
Then something hits her, and she suddenly can’t believe her ears. “Is this whole following me into class thing about Jae? Are you seriously jealous?”
His muttering hitches for a split second and she knows she’s spot on. And it’s so funny to her especially since she has never expected a jealous Kyungsoo to appear.
“Really? You’re really jealous?”
“Shut up.”
By a of pure luck Jae appears in front of them in that very moment, and Jooyoung wants to thank him for waving at her as usual, with his mega-watt grin and crinkled up eyes.
Now she can tease Kyungsoo even more.
Jooyoung waves back at Jae, with a comparable amount of enthusiasm to his, and his look of pleasant surprise is evident on his face. He smiles impossibly wider and she can’t help but laugh. Jae sits up straight in his seat, pushes his glasses up, and pats the seat beside him excitedly. He mouths something to her but she doesn’t catch what he is saying.
Oh no — Jooyoung has never sat next to him before, but this time she suddenly feels bad about leading him on. Now he thinks she wants to sit with him, and who knows do what else with him.
Kyungsoo watches this entire exchange, of course, but Jooyoung doesn’t notice that he’s stopped muttering until he lets out a grunt of some sort, surprising her. She turns to see him giving Jae a polite smile, before placing a firm hand on her shoulder. Squeezing them slightly, he meaningfully steers the both of them away from Jae. She tries to turn to wave and mouth an apology, but it’s difficult when Kyungsoo’s grip is so firm (it’s not painful, though, and Jooyoung knows he’s being gentle with her already).
So she settles for a small apologetic smile. Kyungsoo grunts again.
He directs the both of them to a seat relatively near the front of the lecture theatre, and Jooyoung doesn’t fail to notice that he’s decided to sit directly in front of Jae. They’re a few rows in front, but as long as Jae’s looking to the front he definitely would be able to see them, even if it’s only from the corner of his eyes.
The moment they sit down, with almost no space between them, Kyungsoo snuggles up to her, his head on her shoulder and his arms curled around her. She knows he wouldn’t do this normally but he’s being irrational today and just trying to let Jae know about their relationship without directly telling him (but it’s okay, it’s not like she’s not enjoying it).
“You’re pure evil,” Jooyoung says, feeling her heart palpitate, and savouring his touch. She’s never going to be able to look Jae in the eye ever again but for this, it’s all worth it. Kyungsoo snorts softly and she chuckles.
“I didn’t know Do Kyungsoo is such a petty person.” Jooyoung turns her face slightly so she’s looking down at the top of his head, and he can’t see, but she’s smiling at him with a whole lot of affection.
He doesn’t move from his position. “I have no choice. My girlfriend is too precious to just let go.”
“Cheesy.”
“You gotta get used to this.”
It’s difficult to pay attention for such a long period of time so before class ends Jooyoung has already logged out of the lesson and into her laptop. She scrolls through the net, reading movie reviews when she chances upon a review of Big Hero 6. And of course, although she has watched it a million times and would personally rate it 11/10 (as with all other Disney movies), she decides to click on the link. She shifts in her seat and surreptitiously places her books in her bag so that she can prop her elbow in the space where the books are.
She scrolls and scrolls, internally feeling her heart melt all over again at the same characters who made her cry a thousand times over. But an audible sigh of bliss escapes her when a picture of Tadashi Hamada materialises on the screen.
Kyungsoo looks over when he hears the sigh, leaning in to look at her screen. “Who’s that,” he whispers.
“Tadashi Hamada,” she replies, propping her elbows on the table and resting her chin on it. The professor ends the lesson then, and packs up her stuff before leaving the lecture theatre. Students begin to file out as well, but the both of them don’t budge.
“What movie is he from? He looks a bit familiar,” Kyungsoo speaks in his normal voice again.
“Big Hero 6, dumbo,” Jooyoung says. Then she her screen (to be more exact, Tadashi’s cheek) and Kyungsoo looks at her questioningly. It doesn’t faze her. “He’s so handsome, what even.”
“Han Jooyoung...” He narrows his eyes at her, and she really can’t tell whether he’s jokingly upset or seriously so.
“What?” She asks, feigning ignorance. She’s stopped Tadashi’s cheek and has proceeded to staring straight at Kyungsoo with a mock-clueless, taunting face.
Kyungsoo's expression makes him seem like he’s caught in the middle of a bad life decision. He puts his elbows on the table as well, then covers his face with his palm. “Why do I have so many opponents in securing my girlfriend’s heart,” he mumbles into his hand, and Jooyoung’s unable to hold back her grin, which would erupt into laughter anytime.
She takes a final look at Tadashi before closing her computer screen, then focusing her attention on the man in front of her, even though he’s not looking. “Tadashi’s handsome, but...”
Jooyoung’s not thinking when she reaches forward and tilts his chin towards her. She can feel a little bit of stubble (just a little — he probably forgot to shave last night), but his chin isn’t the main focus when his surprised, big eyes are so adorable.
“You’re more handsome?” She declares, but she sounds unsure. Although she’s not. Gosh, how do people say things like that — even if they mean it from the bottom of their hearts — without feeling the heat and embarrassment run up to their faces?
Kyungsoo’s expression locks into place, and seeing his flustered face is like finding treasure. It hardly comes out, and when it does, he’s so especially small and cute that Jooyoung feels her tummy do weird jumps again. His lips open and close slightly, unconsciously, and she smiles. And then without thinking (again), she leans in and gives him a tiny peck. And another. And another.
When she retracts her hand and shrinks back to her original position, she knows her face has gone absolutely hot and pink. But oh goodness, Kyungsoo’s face is so... red Jooyoung can’t help but burst into laughter.
“You gotta get used to this,” she says as nonchalantly as she can, trying to throw at him what he had thrown at her.
“Crazy,” he says, his cheeks flushed, and despite his remark she can tell he likes whatever just went on. “Han Jooyoung, you’re crazy.”
“Crazy what?” She singsongs.
“Just crazy. My favourite type.”
a/n: we're at chapter 20 already??? WOW
there's only a few chapters yet, and this story is not technically over,, because there are still unsettled things ;-) but errrr hope you enjoyed the fluff heh
also when is exo coming back bc i miss them a lot :"""
I OWED SO MANY OF YOU REPLIES i’m so sorry!! just replied to everyone i hadn’t replied to aaa but i hope everyone’s having a great 2019 so far! i think it’ll take a while before my next story because of circumstances.... but i promise i’ll be back :”)
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