chapter 24
the psychology of good studentsAs promised, Jooyoung has a study date with Krystal because the latter needs escape. She’d called Jooyoung, her voice tinkly and bubbly as usual, but this time Jooyoung caught the twinge of anxiousness in her voice when she asked — and regrets not recognising the quaver before.
Having this study date is something that's perfectly fine with her, and she’s happy Krystal heeded her words and actually reached out for her help. It feels she’s finally doing something to make someone’s life better, and honestly it’s a great feeling.
Krystal had asked not to meet in the library or anywhere too public because she was a little afraid she would meet her friends, so Jooyoung offered to bring her to another place she goes to, sometimes — the bench outside a secluded lecture theatre. She is memorising some statistics when Krystal’s face pokes out from behind a wall.
She grins as soon as she sees Jooyoung and plonks herself opposite her, waving enthusiastically. “Hey Vicey,” she greets. “Thanks so much for letting me study with you.”
Jooyoung smiles back. “Nah, no worries.”
And then silence sweeps through the air because she is an awkward person who can’t sustain conversations even if her life depends on it. Abruptly, she turns back down to her notes and mumbles, “If you need help with anything there I can try my best to help.”
Krystal laughs, then Jooyoung can hear the sound of a textbook flipping. “I would ask you if I could. But you don’t even take my modules.”
“Oh. Yeah, I forgot,” Jooyoung dumbly says, and she wishes she’s better at conversations. Offering to help someone of a completely different major is like asking a cow to milk itself — completely ridiculous.
Krystal still stares at the working Jooyoung, clicking her pen repeatedly. She seems like she wants to speak, because her lower lip bobs slightly, but she doesn’t, and goes to study instead. Jooyoung wants to continue conversation too, because she’s always open to new friendships, but she doesn’t know what to ask.
Jina texts her soon after to ask if they can study together, but today Jooyoung knows Krystal doesn’t want that much company. So she declines her — anyway, she’s not feeling up to explaining to Jina why they are studying together in the first place.
But she’s enjoying the day because it’s not too cold and she has a warm cup of coffee (courtesy of breakfast with Kyungsoo, who’s no longer ‘mad’), and having some study company is nice too. This day is just a silent hug.
And Jooyoung’s glad she didn’t let her morals down in the end.
Jooyoung’s list of stresses makes its appearance again the few days before her first midterm paper. But now, obviously, it’s much better and much shorter and she’s so glad, thinking back, that she's managing to chill a little from hanging out with Kyungsoo so much.
Of course she’s still frenzied and a procrastinator — which explains the two topics left unstudied one day before her examination — but she feels the old Jooyoung, somewhere along the way, has packed up and headed off, not bothering to say a proper goodbye. The new one has brought less luggage with her and feels lighter trodding up hills and mountains. Especially now that she has a hand to hold the entire way there.
It’s 1am the night before their first paper and Kyungsoo really should be sleeping, but instead he’s calling her and making sure she sleeps enough too despite needing to mug.
“Go to sleep now. I don’t care how many more subtopics you have left. You have to be up early tomorrow,” he nags, and Jooyoung gives up balancing her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she attempts more questions.
“I don’t know... what if I screw up tomorrow? I really do need good results for honours,” she sighs, leaning back into her chair.
“I promise you that you won’t. You’ve worked so hard for this, I’ve seen you. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t finished revising all the content now,” he says. “Your health is more important, baby.”
Kyungsoo loves playing the ‘baby’ card whenever he needs to convince Jooyoung of something. And of course, it works all the time. She sighs and pushes away her textbook. “Okay, fine. I’ll stop for today.”
“Good girl. Need me to come over to cuddle you to sleep?”
That is a tempting proposition and on any other night, Jooyoung would have agreed without hesitation. But tonight is exam night and she doesn’t want Kyungsoo walking around campus when he should be sleeping. So she shakes her head although he can’t see it over the phone. “You sleep now too. Don’t need to come over.”
“Then let’s talk until one of us falls asleep.”
She laughs, reaching her fingers out to switch off the lights, then padding towards her bed and snuggling up under the covers. “Are you sure you’ll be able to sleep after hearing my beautiful voice?” She teases.
“Hmm. Will I?”
“I want you to though,” she says softly, laying on her side. She imagines Kyungsoo lying beside her, his head pressed against her pillow, his scent filling the room. Then she closes her eyes and pretends he’s right beside her. “Good luck for tomorrow, Do Kyungsoo.”
“I believe in you too, Han Jooyoung,” he asserts, but she can hear the smile in his voice. He always has a smile in his voice at times like these. “Think of me when you get nervous, okay?”
“Psh. Then I will get even more nervous.”
Kyungsoo laughs. “Fine. Then don’t. But I still have some stuff I want you to remember.”
She smiles, pulling her blanket until it’s buried under her chin. “Hmm. I’ll consider.”
“Drink water before the paper,” he says. “Then go to the toilet.”
“Kay.”
“Also, when in doubt, the answer is always 3.”
He says it so seriously she can’t even tell if he’s joking. But it’s funny anyways, and she bursts into spontaneous laughter. “If I do this and I end up failing the paper I’ll kill you.”
“But then you’ll be lonely for the rest of your life.”
She considers it for a moment. “Hm. True.”
The plan to sleep early is aborted unconsciously and they talk the night away, running on adrenaline, coffee, and just a little tinge of love.
Jooyoung’s hardly got 4 hours of sleep but she’s unusually energetic. Her heart is thumping but she knows she’s got this. She’s smart, cool university student Han Jooyoung. She’s living her dream. She’ll graduate with honours. She promises herself that.
The examination hall is chilly and her hands are shivering and sweaty at the same time. But she forces herself to concentrate on her neck, protected by Kyungsoo’s scarf. He’d brought it and put it on for her this morning just because he knows she loves breathing in his scent and with the bundle conveniently hung across her neck, she can bury her nose into it anytime during the exam.
Jooyoung spins her pencil, resting her chin on the table while waiting for the examination to start. Kyungsoo’s started his first examination of the day already, and he’s probably breezing through it. Man, he might even be sleeping on the table because he’s so chill about the whole midterms thing. And yet she knows he’s going to do so well. That’s a comforting thought.
When the time starts and her heart takes a final leap as she flips open the page, she can see Kyungsoo in her head wishing her good luck. I believe in you, Han Jooyoung, he says, his heart-shaped lips curving into a smile.
I believe in you.
The horrendous two weeks and a half of unnecessary nerves and a whole lot of hand aches slowly crumples itself up into a mangled mess of the past and fades into the distance. Exams are things of the past now. In the time since Jooyoung finally felt alive again, she’s met with Krystal once (just to accompany her because her nursing assessments aren’t over), her high school classmates once, Jina and Minseok a few times (while they were together, and Jooyoung felt like such a third wheel), and Kyungsoo almost every day.
They’ve just finished eating their dinner at a classy Japanese restaurant, which Jooyoung paid for (surprise, surprise). Some things never change. But she doesn’t mind when it’s Kyungsoo — he just doesn’t feel comfortable spending his money unnecessarily, like in fancy restaurants, and that’s fine. She knows she’s going to have a good, stable future if they marry (she hopes every day that it happens) because he'll have enough money to last them for generations, so she can pay for their dates now.
Campus is a nice, cosy place to walk around at night so they do, wandering hand in hand everywhere, sharing a canned drink from the vending machine just for the sake of it, and stealing occasional kisses. But they wander to the dorms soon and for some reason, today Jooyoung’s heart feels especially heavy that they have to part, even if it’s just for a night. It’s funny because they haven’t done anything out of the ordinary that night and yet she feels so sad that he has to go.
Kyungsoo, however, doesn’t seem to notice her heavy heart. “Good night, love,” he says, pressing his lips onto her forehead. She looks up at him and doesn’t respond.
Instead, Jooyoung tugs at the sleeve of his coat. “Do you wanna sleep over at my room tonight?”
“All of a sudden?” He laughs, tenderly her face. “Maybe another night?”
But she’s persistent because she knows she won’t be able to sleep without him tonight. “Not in my room then. I’ll sleep over in your room?”
“Baby, we both only have a single bed.”
Jooyoung in a breath, and her cheeks puff up unconsciously. She wonders if she looks cute. Then she gets an idea, which seems genius to her. Uncharacteristic, but genius, yes, and besides, dire situations call for dire solutions.
She keeps her cheeks puffed. “Jooyoung-ie is sad that Kyungsoo doesn’t want to sleep with her tonight,” she says as cutely as she can, imitating the way little kids can’t pronounce some syllables right. At the same time she pulls on his sleeve lightly, pouting slightly.
His mouth hangs slightly ajar, and under the street lamp, Jooyoung can see his face turn a pinker shade. She has the upper hand now, she knows.
“Doesn’t Kyungsoo-ie love Jooyoung?” She continues to pout, tilting her head to the side slightly. Honestly she feels ridiculous, but Kyungsoo is always put into a spell when she does things like this, so it’s fine. None of them can even fully comprehend what she's doing, anyway.
“Uh... I... I...” Kyungsoo’s eyes dart around, and the tips of his ears are so red she has to keep herself from smiling. She grabs on to his wrist this time, and she swears she can feel his heart rate. It’s a bullet train in there.
But then he shakes her off half-heartedly, walking away wordlessly as if he’s still in a trance. Jooyoung frowns for real this time, because watching Kyungsoo’s back as he walks away is a sad thing.
She sighs. Guess she’ll have to settle for imagining him beside her again tonight. But she tells herself it’s okay as she keeps her eyes on his figure, illuminated by the street lights, because she can’t be this clingy all the time. He probably is really tired out and just wants the bed to himself — that’s totally understandable.
Kyungsoo turns his head slightly, just enough to look at the floor beside him, and then his footsteps slow. Then he swivels around and locks eyes with Jooyoung, who can’t help but give him a small sad look.
He starts to stride over to Jooyoung with a look of determination in his eyes. Grabbing her hand tight and weaving his fingers through hers, he drags her along as he continues his decisive walk towards his dormitory building. She obediently follows, and feels her heart palpitate — that was crazy hot.
“What were you even waiting for,” he says, almost in a growl when they reach his room. His eyebrows furrow slightly as he fumbles in his pocket for his key, but his hand doesn’t let go of hers.
When he finally opens the door he pulls her inside then shuts the door close, before wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her towards him such that there is no distance between them. Then he drops her onto his bed, and ravenously attacks her lips, nibbling them. He’s never kissed her that fiercely before, and it’s a whole new experience. She slings her arms around his neck and tugs him closer, tasting him fully.
She’s sure her bottom lip is swollen when they finally break away, out of breath. They are silent for a few seconds, both breathing heavily. He makes sure her head is comfortably on the pillow, and then locks her legs in place with his.
“Don’t ever use that method to make me do something again,” he threatens, narrowing his eyes at her. She can feel his breath on her lips when he speaks, and it only makes her smile.
“Yes, Sir,” she playfully agrees, kissing his lips once more.
“I’m serious, Han Jooyoung,” he scolds, tangling his legs with hers. “My heart can’t take things like this.”
“Get used to it, dumbo. You’re going to be stuck with me for a long, long time.”
He bites his lip, then pulls her close such that her head is resting against his chest, and his chin above the top of her hair. “I don’t think I ever will get used to it. I don’t think I ever want to.”
After midterms is a short break, and neither Kyungsoo and Jooyoung go back to their homes because the holiday is too brief to do anything. So they end up spending almost 24/7 with each other because of the sole reason that both of them can’t stay away from each other.
The first time they were separated after their lunch and Jooyoung missed Kyungsoo so much she was going to go crazy, she thought it was just her. She willed herself to get distracted by something else, anything else, so that she wouldn’t be the sort of girlfriend who needs her boyfriend there every second. But then just as she was about to plug in her computer to watch a movie she received a text.
From: Jooyoung’s Scrooge
please come over baby i miss you so much
It’s not hard to imagine how fast she dashed over to his room after seeing it.
Jooyoung is a homebody and Kyungsoo is chill with anywhere she wants to go, or doesn’t. So they end up spending most of the time indoors, either in her room or his, attempting to cook with the small portable electric cooker she owns, or playing board games, or watching Disney movies, or simply cuddling and catching up on all the sleep they had lost over the course of the term.
After a long nap together on Jooyoung’s bed today, they are watching reruns of old dramas.
“Lee Minho is handsome,” Jooyoung casually comments as she munches on the bag of chips in her hand. Kyungsoo pulls his knees up to his chest.
“Park Shinhye is pretty,” he says just as nonchalantly, but she knows what he’s trying to do. Petty beast. She throws a chip into his mouth and he chuckles, before resting his head on her shoulder and snuggling his hair onto her cheek.
He yawns. “I’m sleepy.”
“In the last 24 hours you’ve slept for at least 14,” Jooyoung deadpans. She reaches forward to pause the show just as the two protagonists are about to kiss. “It’s probably because this is boring.”
He nods, like this is a serious issue. “The troupes they’re using are overused and dry.”
Jooyoung nods, puts the bag of chips down and stands up, her hands on her hips. Kyungsoo looks up at her in amusement. Contorting her face, she does the best impression she can of an unreasonable mother-in-law. “You’re not allowed to marry my son because he’s rich and you’re not!” She squeaks in a high-pitched voice.
Kyungsoo laughs, completely understanding what she’s doing. Rich, jerk mothers-in-law have appeared in three quarters of the dramas she’s watched. He then stands up as well, and Jooyoung grins. He clutches his stomach, his face also writhing in mock pain. “I have a terminal illness... but I don’t want to tell you! Because I don’t want to lose you!”
Jooyoung begins to walk in slow motion to behind Kyungsoo, then sings her best, out-of-tune rendition of a drama soundtrack. Still in slow motion, she wraps her arms around Kyungsoo’s waist and sobs exaggeratedly, “Don’t leave me.”
He turns around, forcing Jooyoung to let go of him. Sticking out his foot slightly, he holds her hand. “Take one step forward,” he instructs in a whisper, as if they really were acting in a serious scenario.
She does, and he pretends she trips. Then he catches her in his arms and “accidentally” plonks a kiss on her lips. This makes her smile, and he knows it. So he adds in a bonus kiss. Or two. Or five.
“What’s our drama ending like?” Kyungsoo asks huskily, his nose still touching hers. She can’t help the growing smile on her face.
“Be patient, Do Kyungsoo.”
“I don’t want to. Let’s elope now.”
Honestly, that makes Jooyoung’s heart skip so many beats. But she holds her tongue and doesn’t let herself get carried away by his impulsive thoughts. Instead, she kisses him on the nose and laughs. “Don’t be crazy. I still want my degree.”
“I want you.”
“You have me.”
“Forever?”
“Forever.”
A kiss. A tight hug. Then, a whisper by her ear.
“I love you, Han Jooyoung.”
Lastly, a smile. “Silly, I love you too.”
a/n: :):):):):):) heheh
I OWED SO MANY OF YOU REPLIES i’m so sorry!! just replied to everyone i hadn’t replied to aaa but i hope everyone’s having a great 2019 so far! i think it’ll take a while before my next story because of circumstances.... but i promise i’ll be back :”)
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