chapter 23
the psychology of good studentsJooyoung cannot believe what is going on right now. She’s rendered speechless, truly, and tears just flow out of her eyes without her knowing because she feels so bad about herself and also so scared for Krystal.
No wonder Kyungsoo always defended Krystal. But Jooyoung had just gotten annoyed and brushed the topic off. It makes her feel so, so bad.
To think a she, a psychology major (oh, gosh), wasn’t able to sense the anxiety and low mood of someone who’s been beside her for ages and ages. To think she’s been so mean without knowing anything. To think she, who claims her pet peeve is premature judgement, has gone ahead and done just that.
Kyungsoo’s hugging her tight and pressing tissues to her eyes, soothingly repeating into her hair, “It’s not your fault. It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” But this time the guilt has consumed her so much not even he can convince her she isn’t a bad person, or a hypocrite.
But Jooyoung is a fighter, and fighters don’t mope. Even if it’s a mess and all she wants to do is disappear. She has to clean up the mess — and do it well. She takes a strong deep breath and wipes away her tears as best as possible, before asking Kyungsoo, “Do you know where Krystal is now?”
His eyes widen. “Now?”
“Please,” she begs, a leftover tear trickling down her cheek and falling onto the back of his hand, creating a wet splotch on it.
“Okay, okay,” Kyungsoo gives in, still helping Jooyoung to wipe away her tears with the back of his sleeve. She shuts her eyes and blinks a few times to get all her tears out, then gives one last sniff as she stares back at Kyungsoo’s worried eyes.
“I want to make sure she knows I’m by her side,” Jooyoung says as he gently pulls her out of her seat. He nods and gives her a long, comforting kiss on her cheek, then laces his fingers with hers.
“Let’s go.”
They end up at Krystal’s dorm room, and it is only now Jooyoung realises how far away it is from the usual party scene. This is where Krystal retracts to after long days of not being herself. Jooyoung wonders if she’s ever let anyone in for long talks til dawn, if she keeps memories in her room, if she enjoys being there more than anywhere else.
She looks at Kyungsoo for reassurance before she knocks, and he smiles and nods. So she taps on the door with her knuckles, once, twice. Jooyoung’s not exactly expecting a response, but Krystal opens the door, her hair in a messy top knot. She’s in something Jooyoung finds awfully familiar — a loose old shirt and track pants, like what she wears almost every day — but never thought she’d find her wearing.
When Krystal sees Jooyoung at the door she bursts into her grin again. “Hey Vicey!”
Jooyoung thinks of how many times she’s done this, how many times she had to put on a overly bubbly, flirty facade, how many times she must have felt so caged into herself. This time Jooyoung wants to burst into tears. “It’s okay, you don’t have to be like this in front of me too,” she says softly.
Krystal looks confused for a second, slightly open. Then her gaze shifts to Kyungsoo, and he must have mouthed something, because when she looks back at Jooyoung again her smile is more languid, more wan.
“I’m sorry I withdrew from the student government all of a sudden. The pressure there was eating me up,” she apologises tiredly. “I’m sorry you have to deal with someone with a disorder like this too. Now that you know of it, it’s going to become a burden.”
“Krystal Jung!” Jooyoung chides, utterly shocked. She can’t help but grab hold of both her shoulders — the most physical contact they’ve ever had — and stare into her eyes. “You are most definitely not a burden. And I don’t want to see you apologise for your anxiety ever again, you hear me? Whether you have anxiety or not doesn’t make you any less of a person.”
She laughs. “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”
Jooyoung stares back at her, letting out a small sad sigh. She as a psychology student, she realises. She wants to make Krystal feel better but she’s at a complete loss as to what to do.
“You’re amazing as Krystal Jung whether you’re bubbly or not, okay? And if people don’t realise that, or can’t take a ‘no’ from you when you don’t wanna do things, or don’t see the importance of time for yourself for you, then they don’t deserve your friendship,” Jooyoung says seriously, her hands slowly sliding down from her shoulders.
Krystal continues to fix her gaze on Jooyoung, a different emotion filling her eyes.
“And I know saying ‘no’ is going to be really tough. As well as trying to control your stress and anxiety,” Jooyoung says, her eyes wavering. “I can’t solve all your problems, but just know that I’m a- a- a friend too?”
Krystal smiles at her, and it’s the most genuine, heartwarming thing Jooyoung has seen in a long time.
It pushes her to continue. “And you can come study with me when you don’t wanna hang out with your other friends? I mean, that’s if you want to, of course. Also if your friends are bullying you in any way you can always call me.”
Krystal nods, and Jooyoung swears she can see a glimmer of shine in her eyes.
“I’m great at smacking people down with pillows,” Jooyoung jokes this time, and Kyungsoo is the one who snorts (He’s the first — and last — person she ever got practice with, at 3am).
In her baggy shirt and without any makeup on at all, Krystal looks especially vulnerable. But today, although she isn’t grinning widely or laughing in her tinkly giggle, Jooyoung thinks it’s the happiest she’s seen her.
“Thanks, Vicey,” Krystal says after a moment of full silence, pulling Jooyoung into a tight hug. Jooyoung is slightly shocked but she allows the hug, awkwardly patting Krystal’s back with her free hand, the one not being squished. She’s not good at hugs or comforting people but she knows Krystal feels better from their little talk.
That’s all she wants for now.
Jina hasn’t been herself the entire day at the convenience store. She’d walked in expressionlessly and dropped her bag on the floor before lifelessly slipping her uniform vest over her shoulders. Then she didn’t even acknowledge Jooyoung. Jooyoung’s worried, and has been prodding her with questions, but she knows her questioning can only go a certain extent without it being annoying. So she lets her be. She knows Jina needs her space too.
Today Jina’s quiet and passive, the total opposite of her usual self. She’s even reading her medicine textbook, something she’s never done on shift. But her eyes are merely glazing off the page and she’s mindlessly flipping her highlighter in her hand. Jooyoung gives her the entire counter to be by herself and goes about doing other things, like clearing the trash customers left behind on the tables.
She’s almost done when she suddenly hears Jina’s voice, which makes her jump.
“I’m going into the storage room to count the new stock,” she says, hopping off her seat and walking towards the said area without another word. Jooyoung nods, eyes trailing after her.
She considers following when the door of the store opens and in bursts in a frazzled-looking Minseok.
“Minseok! What are you doing here?” She asks, thoroughly confused. Isn’t he supposed to be at either the hospital or labs now?
Upon landing his eyes on Jooyoung, he suddenly groans, dropping to the floor. She rushes over to him and he mumbles into his hands miserably, “I screwed up big time today. I didn’t mean for it to come out as a rejection.”
Before Jooyoung can say anything, though, he suddenly springs up, and his eyes dart around the store almost frantically, before focusing back on her. “Where’s Jina? Did she come for her shift today?”
She slowly gestures at the direction of the storage room with confusion evident on her face, but Minseok only registers what he wants to, which is apparently Jina’s location. He leaves his bag and dashes in.
Jooyoung rushes into the room after Minseok does because technically, he’s not allowed in there, and if the security camera footage of him there is viewed, both Jooyoung and Jina are dead meat.
Jina whips around when she hears people enter, and her tired eyes immediately widen, and harden, when she sees Minseok there.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” she says harshly, and Jooyoung is shocked as well.
“Jina...” Minseok calls her name almost desperately, taking a step forward. But Jina only retracts, swiftly hiding her hands behind her back so that he can’t grab them.
“I’m sorry I’m not the type of girl who’s cool with being rejected. This is going to sound rude but I really don’t think we can go back to being friends too,” Jina says, and Jooyoung can see her eyes welling up with tears.
“Let me explain, Jina, please,” Minseok pleads, walking towards her until she can back away no more and they are barely an arm’s width away.
“I don’t want to hear your-“
“I want to be your boyfriend,” he says seriously, and Jina immediately stops fidgeting. Instead it looks like she has her breath bated, waiting for him to continue. So he does.
“I really, really do. I want to be the one holding your hand in the future along the hospital corridors. I want to be the one you snuggle up to after your 36-hour shifts. I want to be the one who calls your name like you’re mine.”
The tears in her eyes have formed twinkles, and she looks smaller and, dare Jooyoung say, more adorable than ever. “T-Then, just now-"
“When you asked me if I wanted to date you and I said “maybe later”, it was because I freaked and was so shocked you were asking me out first. I was going to ask you out this Saturday, when we go for the dinner I promised you. I didn’t know what I was talking about, but you ran away before I could even process what I said.”
It takes barely three seconds for the tears to clear from Jina’s eyes. Jooyoung would have laughed in normal situations, because it’s so typical of Jina to be fickle with her own emotions, but this scene she’s watching is so cute that she can’t make a sound.
She swallows, taking a step closer to Minseok. He takes both of her hands in his, looking at her straight in the eye. “Be my girlfriend, Choi Jina.”
“Okay,” she says, a smile lighting up her cheeks. Jooyoung can’t help but smile too, and when Minseok leans in, she turns away, feeling slightly embarrassed she’s watching their first kiss, something that should be shared in private. She wouldn’t have liked it if someone watched hers and Kyungsoo’s first kiss as well.
She softly closes the door of the storage room behind her when she exits and immediately takes out her phone, texting the first person she thinks of.
To: Jooyoung-ie’s Scrooge
(His contact name for her is ‘Kyungsoo-ie’s Dumbo’, which to her, is pretty darn cute.)
guess what
His reply comes instantaneously.
From: Jooyoung’s Scrooge
you know i can never guess
To: Jooyoung’s Scrooge
minseok just confessed to jina and now they are currently being the cutest couple ever
From: Jooyoung’s Scrooge
i saw that coming but WOW THAT’S GREATTT
also, i think we are the cutest couple ever. they can come in a close second.
Jooyoung chuckles at her screen, but before she can reply him, the door to the storage room opens and Minseok and Jina emerge holding hands. Minseok clears his throat loudly, the tips of his ears turning redder than they should be. Jina on the other hand looks like she’s going to die of excitement. Jooyoung should be the one most embarrassed, honestly, third-wheeling like this, but all she can do is grin at them.
“Hey Jooyoung,” she chirps.
Jooyoung rolls her eyes playfully. “Now you acknowledge me,” she says, then wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at the both of them. “Ooh, looks like there’s a new doctor couple in the house.”
Minseok rubs his neck shyly so she decides to more, because embarrassed people are the most fun to tease. “And here I was thinking you actually liked Kyungsoo in that way because of the way you completely acted heads over heels for him in the past. Especially before and during London.”
Minseok looks mortified, and Jina guffaws loudly. “No I do not!” He exclaims, horrified. “Do Kyungsoo is just my idol because, well, he’s bloody amazing at everything.”
Jooyoung laughs, turning to Jina this time. “And you! Are you going to still chase after your boy bands frivolously since you’ve gotten yourself a man?”
“I do not chase after them frivolously!” Jina exclaims. “And yes, because the like I have for them and the love I have for Minseok are two separate entities.”
“Choi Jina!” Minseok shouts. “Really?”
“I change my bias every two days, Minseok,” she tells him seriously. “For you, don’t you ever think of escaping.”
Jooyoung pipes in, finding the whole situation fun. “Are you sure?”
It doesn’t take very long for her to get chased out of the store by both Minseok and Jina because she’s being infuriating as heck. But it’s fine, because she agrees she’s just being annoying.
Kyungsoo is sitting opposite Jooyoung in the library, watching her with his head on the table, his cheek resting on the back of his palm. She’s studying because her midterms are just two weeks away, and she can’t afford to procrastinate any longer. Especially since she’s forgotten most of whatever happened in class the past semester.
“Are you done?” Kyungsoo asks after a while, obviously bored because he’s been just sitting there watching her for ages. He’s brought his textbooks to study but everyone knows he doesn’t need to read them to excel in every single paper (what a jerk).
Jooyoung isn’t like that, so she has to study to do well. “Nope. I wanna finish this set of questions first,” she says, not looking up from her books. She brings up a hand to shoo Kyungsoo away. “Go back if you want to. You’re wasting your time here.”
“But I wanna do stuff with you,” he says, almost childishly. She smiles at him, but then goes back to her questions.
“After my exams.”
“That’s whole weeks away!” He pouts, upset. Jooyoung laughs — Kyungsoo can get so clingy at times it’s funny. She loves it when he’s like this, but not when she really has things she wants to finish and has picked up the momentum of not procrastinating for once.
He bends over her books, eager for her to complete her question set as soon as possible. “Which one do not know how to do?” He asks, then let his eyes trail over the page until he finds a blank answer. “This one’s answer is D,” he points. “Because if you look at A, you can rule that out because the theory of –“
“Do Kyungsoo!” She exclaims, laughing at him. She knocks his head with the pencil she’s holding. “You’re so annoying, gosh.”
“You’re annoying too,” he whines. “You’ve been cooped up here for ages, let’s go out?”
“I told you, dumbo. After my exams.”
He narrows his eyes at her, then begins to stuff his pens back into his pencil case. “Fine,” he huffs. “I can’t believe your grades take precedence over your boyfriend.”
“You were never a priority,” she jokes, but he merely squints at her before picking up his bag and pushing in his chair. She can tell him things like this only because she knows that he knows what’s really the truth (aka, he is her number one priority). But this time he’s on with the game too.
“I’m leaving. I’m so mad at you,” he says, slinging his bag over his shoulders. Jooyoung goes back to her question set and waves goodbye to him.
“I told you to go first,” she says. “Have a good rest, okay? If your friends come to ask you to go out, tell them you need your sleep because you were up late last night helping me with work.”
“Whatever, bye,” he says, swivelling around on his heels and walking briskly out of the library. When he is out of sight, Jooyoung looks up at the empty seat and chuckles.
Two hours later, a pack of dinner plonks itself onto the table. She looks up and, of course, there’s Kyungsoo, who’s avoiding eye contact with her.
“Kimchi fried rice,” he mutters. “5000won.”
Jooyoung reaches out for her wallet but Kyungsoo stops her, and leans in close, one hand around her cheek. He gives up on the no eye contact, and his gaze is boring into her heart. She smiles, but he doesn’t smile back, because he’s “mad”.
“Let me tell you the price system first. Exam periods have special rates,” he says almost factually, his warm breath hitting her cheek. “For every 1000won you owe me, its 5 minutes of cuddling. And every 10,000won is a kiss. Not a peck. Finally for every 50,000won it’s undivided attention for 2 hours, in which I can do anything I want.”
Then he retracts, steadying himself by holding onto the table. Jooyoung nods and waits for him to continue, but he doesn’t, and seems slightly taken aback that she has nothing to say as well, so he stands back up and points at the packet of fried rice again.
“Don’t eat it too late,” he says. “And don’t study until too late either. 11pm, max. Then it’s off to bed. You better send me a message when you leave the library or it’s another 100,000won added to your debt.”
And then he leaves in an exaggerated huff again.
At 6pm the next day, Kyungsoo turns up with another packet of dinner.
“Ox Bone Soup. 7000won,” he says, lingering around the table. Jooyoung looks up at him and thanks him for the food, closing her textbook. He seems to have caught a glimmer of hope when she pushes the textbook away, but his slumping down is more obvious than ever when she just grabs her other textbook and flips it open.
Jooyoung thinks he’s leaving when he turns around, but instead he walks to the nearest bookshelf, before randomly picking up a book. Then he returns and plops himself down into the seat opposite Jooyoung, clearing his throat.
“Since I’m here, might as well learn about —" He takes a quick glance at the cover of the book. “— the Abe Constitution.”
She hides her laugh. He could’ve just said so, if he wants to stay — no need to torture himself like this. “Sure,” she says sarcastically. “You’ve always been interested in politics.”
He grunts, adamant on reading the book. Jooyoung’s not paying much attention to him, but looks up when he shuts the book on the table and lays his head on it, using it as a pillow for sleep.
He’s too cute, so she watches him sleep for a while. She too, can’t wait until their midterms are over, just so that they can do their random trips out again and she can, you know, repay her debt. Reaching across the table, she gently his head with the tips of her fingers.
Jooyoung doesn’t fail to see the small smile on his lips when she does so.
It’s 6:10pm.
Jooyoung checks her watch again to make sure she didn’t read the time wrong, but it is really 6:10. Kyungsoo hasn’t come yet — he had come at 6 the previous few days. She wills herself to concentrate on her work, because she came to the library to study, not get her dinner delivered by her boyfriend.
She’s reading her textbook but nothing’s really going into her head. Is he okay? His classes for the day are over at this time, is he out with his other friends now? Did he forget about her? Jooyoung knows it’s definitely not right for her to expect dinner from him every single day, but she also knows Kyungsoo isn’t one to just suddenly stop doing something he’s been doing for no rhyme or reason.
6:15pm, and Jooyoung is about to call him when she hears the sound of running footsteps. She pokes her head out to take a look, and lo and behold, Kyungsoo is dashing towards her with not one, but two packets in his hand.
He looks like he’s just rushed to something he’s late for, and Jooyoung finds that a little funny, because technically neither of them made any agreement that he should come at 6pm, but the both of them expect him to.
“I went to queue for the famous fried octopus. 14,000won,” he pants, pushing the first packet towards her. Then he stacks the second packet on top of the first. “Also, I got you some salad, because you need vitamins. 4,000won. Total for today is 18,000won.”
Jooyoung also realises the meals are getting more and more expensive as the days go by. She knows his ulterior motive. But now he’s being so sweet she really can’t care less — going all the way to Jongno to get her fried octopus just because she briefly mentioned it the day before?
“I’m touched,” she gushes, looking straight at Kyungsoo. “Thank you, love.”
He narrows his eyes at her, but sits down opposite her anyway, and leans in, resting his chin on his palms. “Don’t ‘love’ me. I’m still mad at you.”
“I know,” she breezily says, then opens the packet of octopus. It’s melty and delicious when she puts it into , and she can’t help but close her eyes to savour the taste. “This is so good, it’s going to help me gain back all the weight I’ve lost the past week from stress.”
His expression immediately changes to one of absolute worry. His eyebrows furrowed, he leans in more, squeezing the top of her arm slightly. “You crazy girl, I told you not to study so hard. How much weight exactly did you lose?”
She shrugs, popping another piece into . “Not that much. 2kg.”
“That’s a lot for just a week!” Kyungsoo exclaims, his mouth forming an automatic small frown. “Even your arms got smaller...”
“Don’t worry, I’m gaining the weight back as I eat, see?” She says, continuing to munch on her food. He doesn’t look convinced so she decides to joke, “Besides, aren’t I prettier now? I’ll look more like a girl group member after midterms.”
One thing she realised about Kyungsoo almost a year of knowing him is that he can’t take jokes about Jooyoung. Or maybe her jokes just aren’t funny, because he’s staring at her incredulously now.
“Are you crazy, Han Jooyoung?” He scolds, then picks up a piece of octopus with the spare pair of chopsticks, feeding it to her although she has one in already. “You are to finish all the food here today, or I’m not letting you go back to your work.”
“Yes, sir,” she laughs. That’ll be a piece of cake.
“It’s ‘yes, love’ to you, missy.”
a/n: the story is ending soon but i've grown so attached to all my characters that i don't want to leave :""" things have to be done though! but look forward to the last lap of fluff heh
I OWED SO MANY OF YOU REPLIES i’m so sorry!! just replied to everyone i hadn’t replied to aaa but i hope everyone’s having a great 2019 so far! i think it’ll take a while before my next story because of circumstances.... but i promise i’ll be back :”)
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