chapter 4
the psychology of good studentsIt keeps bothering Jooyoung that her textbook which cost her a bomb is missing, and although she would much prefer to stay in her warm dormitory room working on an assignment due quite soon, there is a weird uneasy feeling in her heart about her lost textbook that stresses her to no end.
So she sighs and heads out of her dormitory, treading to the main food hall first to search. The place is mostly empty, since it is after dinner time anyway, and the students who are there are all on their computers with a drink next to them, probably cramming work due. Jooyoung doesn't feel self-conscious as she bends low and looks up high to search because no one notices her. She's pretty convinced her textbook is around here. She thinks.
She bends down to look under a table to check if her textbook is there — it isn't. But when she springs back up, a familiar textbook is dropped onto the table directly in front of her.
"Thank you!" She exclaims abruptly to her benefactor in utter relief as she grips her textbook in her hands. Jooyoung doesn't expect to look up to realise her benefactor is Do Kyungsoo. Her grin falters.
He his head at her and sits himself onto the table. "Are you going to –"
"Treat you? Nope," she interjects firmly, but softens when Kyungsoo's face falls completely. "But still, thank you."
"Yeah, since you're thankful, treat me to something for helping you!"
She groans. "Why are you always like this?"
"I thought you already figured it out. I'm a miser." Kyungsoo says it as if he is mocking Jooyoung, and she has nothing to respond to that. She slides a hand across her face slowly, feeling frustration seethe in her.
"Okay, but... How in the world did you know I'm finding my textbook in the first place?"
Kyungsoo merely laughs. "You walked directly past me while muttering 'gotta find that textbook, gotta find my textbook...'" He stops speaking mockingly and reverts to his normal voice when he sees Jooyoung rolling her eyes at him. "And you seemed so bent on it because you even ignored my wave to you, so being a kind friend I decided to help you find it. It was on one of the seats near the washroom."
"Wow." Jooyoung has got to admit, she is pretty touched that Kyungsoo would actually spend effort to search for her textbook together with her despite only overhearing it from her mumbling.
So somehow they end up at the campus cafe, two coffees on the table (both bought by Jooyoung), talking about the most useless things and whiling away time. Kyungsoo is sitting across the table from her, his chin propped onto his intertwined hands. Their knees keep brushing against each other since it is a rather cramped space.
"I don't get it. How are you so chill about everything?" She asks again, because it's something she's tried to wrap her mind around but just can't. She's certain he has things in his life worth stressing out about as well. They're all university students. There can't possibly be nothing at all.
"Worrying is unnecessary." That word again. Jooyoung notices that Kyungsoo uses the word 'unnecessary' to describe anything he doesn't want to spend energy or time on — and that happens to be a lot of things. Their knees brush another time.
"Okay, then what is necessary to you?" She is genuinely curious. Kyungsoo looks up, as if he is deep in thought, and they sit in silence for a while. Jooyoung inches forward, and their knees under the table bump this time. They don't move away.
But before Kyungsoo can answer her, a chirpy looking guy comes over to their table. Jooyoung looks up at him.
"Hey, man! Long time no see!" The guy reaches out his hand for a high-five, and Kyungsoo momentarily breaks out of his thought to return it.
"Daehwi! How's your girlfriend going?" Kyungsoo grins, and Daehwi looks shy. Jooyoung sips her drink slightly awkwardly as she silently listens in to their conversation. It goes on for a while, but before Daehwi can leave, another girl comes up to their table.
"Kyungsoo!" She exclaims, waving, and drags over a few more friends. "Guys, guess who I found!" Before Jooyoung can even register what is going on, their table is swarmed by people from college that she doesn't even know exist. They come and leave, and she feels slightly claustrophobic, and just a little like she is the extra one at their gathering. Their knees are no longer touching under the table.
But she brushes the feeling away rather easily and takes out her phone to organise a list of what she needs to be stressed about so that, well, she can be more productively stressed. There's just so many things on her mind, and if she doesn't get them all out and sorted, she thinks she might really go crazy.
Things to be stressed about:
- Krystal Jung and her crappy attitude towards the student government
- Straight-HDs for all my courses please (Thinking about it now, she realises she has more things than she expects that she has to complete -- why did she procrastinate?)
- At least I found her textbook but where are my spare keys which have missing for ages
- Professor Park, his stupid papers to be completed, and his dumb policy of only giving one student a HD
- The nice boy in one of my classes (How is she supposed to pay him back?)
- What the heck is this exchange programme I signed up for? Is it a mistake?
By the time she has finished the list Kyungsoo has chased everyone away from their table. He looks at Jooyoung with a slightly sorry expression on his face, patiently waiting for her to finish whatever she is doing on her phone.
"Sorry," he apologises. "My friends got a little caught up."
"It's fine." She puts her phone down. "You have so many friends. Told ya you're popular." Jooyoung doesn't say this sarcastically; rather, it comes out of her lips with a tinge of amazement, which Kyungsoo seems amused at.
"Nah," he dismissively says, waving his hand. "But what were you doing on your phone while waiting for me?"
Jooyoung slides her phone over, and he takes a few moments to scrutinise the list, before narrowing his eyes at her.
"You don't need to be stressed about these," he says. "Is this why you're so uptight about everything?"
"I'm not uptight!" She exclaims defensively, but shrinks down again immediately after. "Okay, well, maybe I am, just a little, but it's justified! I mean, look!"
"Why are you stressed over 'a nice boy'?" Kyungsoo is genuinely confused — she can see the pure bemusement written all over his face. She closes her eyes and rests her head on the table. A person like Kyungsoo would never understand how the smallest things make her the most stressed.
"Because he's been so nice only recently, suddenly offering me his notes and all but I have no idea how am I supposed to pay him back for his nice deeds. And I have no time to worry about this because I have other commitments, so this whole thing in general is making me stressed," she mumbles from behind the arm she is lying on. Jooyoung isn't sure if Kyungsoo heard her but she's okay with him not listening to her ranting session as well.
But it surprises her when Kyungsoo doesn't merely give the phone back to her. Instead, he seems interested and actually concerned, which makes Jooyoung feel slightly better about herself already. Just a bit.
"And what's with the first item? 'Krystal Jung and her crappy attitude'?" Kyungsoo reads. "She seems like a fine person to me, though."
"Fine is not the word to describe her," Jooyoung groans with gritted teeth. She considers not elaborating because Krystal would probably up to the popular Kyungsoo so much during the exchange programme he wouldn't notice a thing, but she is stressed and Kyungsoo is listening, so she doesn't see why not rant just a bit more to relieve her emotions.
"Okay, basically," she takes a deep breath. "You know she's the Student Government President, right? In case you didn't know already, I'm one of the Vice Presidents, and long story short I can't stand her because she doesn't take her role seriously at all and skips meetings just to go to parties and stuff. And when she's actually at the meetings she doesn't even chair them properly because she's so clueless and instead keeps secretly going on her phone or checking her nails. Plus she's so fake it's gross."
"Huh," Kyungsoo says, his tone indifferent but his expression unreadable. Jooyoung nods.
"That's not even all, but I'm just going to leave it as that."
He chuckles, and surprises her again by going back to reading from her phone. "And about the straight-HDs? You know that grades here don't matter all that much, right?"
"Yeah, but it's more so that I don't end up crying over my grades or something after that. Better to be safe than sorry," she says, then her head, unsure if she should admit it or not. But she does in the end. "Also, I want to graduate with first class honours."
She notices that Kyungsoo doesn't comment on anything that she says. Instead he keeps reading on, and listening patiently to her, before going onto the next item. Before Jooyoung even realises it the list has been gone through already. And for some reason her heart feels lighter after talking so much about her worries.
She feels slightly embarrassed that she just had word diarrhoea in front of someone she barely knows (but feels familiar all the same) about all about her stresses, so she sits up straight and coolly tucks a strand of loose hair behind her ear as Kyungsoo watches.
"But you know, I'm the chill and smart Han Jooyoung," she says as a joke to brush off all she had exposed about herself. "At least to the rest of our college. By the way, you're the first person I ever hit with a pillow at 3am... It's true! I swear, if you see me other times I'm really composed, and you know, cool. Haven't you seen me around?… Stop laughing, Do Kyungsoo. Stop, you idiot!"
Kyungsoo has threatened to leave the table three times, and each time Jooyoung gladly tells him to do so. But he doesn't, and Jooyoung insist either. When she finally stands up is when it suddenly occurs to her that she has something she needs to get done by the next day for the student government. His eyes follow her as she picks up her found textbook and pushes in her chair.
"Gotta go somewhere?" He asks, standing up as well.
"Library," she shrugs. "I have some student government stuff to settle."
Jooyoung waves goodbye to Kyungsoo, then begins to walk in the direction of her dormitory block. What she doesn't expect is for him to tail behind her, almost like a little puppy, except he isn't all that cute.
"What, are you going to study? Want to join me at the library?" Jooyoung offers nonchalantly. She never likes to study or do work with people — which is the reason why she chose her single-bed room in the first place — but she guesses that with Kyungsoo it'll be fine, because she hopefully would be able to fish out some tips that gives him the good grades he has.
"Sure," he says, still tailing her.
Jooyoung takes the lift to her floor. He follows. She approaches her room and unlocks her door. He stands outside the entire time she is taking her the things she needs, fiddling with the paint on the wall that has been half peeled off.
Then Jooyoung goes straight to the library with her things. Kyungsoo continues to follow. "You can go take the things you need, you know. I can go to the library to get a seat for us both first."
"Yup," Kyungsoo merely says. She doesn't question.
He ends up following her all the way to the library — without taking any books at all. When they are both seated Jooyoung starts on her work immediately because she is not willing to stay in the library until late at night. She goes to fetch some books and multimedia resources she needs, and when she comes back Kyungsoo is still at his seat with no books on his table. Instead, he has his eyes glued to his phone, his fingers furiously running across the screen. Jooyoung imagines this is how she looks like when she is procrastinating.
"You not going to work? Whatcha doing?" She half-whispers, so that other students don't stare. They are in a library, after all.
"Playing a game," Kyungsoo says, eyes not leaving his phone.
"What game?"
"Diner Dash," he says, before his eyes grow wide. "Oh crap. A customer just left. Oh no oh no oh no. Wait, what's with the sudden influx of customers?"
Jooyoung bites a laugh back before she continues with her work. Two hours later, when she has completed everything she needs to do, she starts to pack up. And Kyungsoo is still on his phone, presumably still playing Diner Dash. He hasn't taken a rest from his game since they both sat themselves down at the library.
"Don't you have work to do..?" Jooyoung asks cautiously. She can totally understand Kyungsoo if he is procrastinating, yeah, but it doesn't even seem like he is procrastinating at all — instead the vibe he gives off speaks of utter carefreeness, like he has nothing on his plate, which is impossible for university students like them.
"I have an essay due tomorrow to complete," he states, looking up from his phone for the first time.
"Do Kyungsoo! It's 10pm now, what are you going to do?" Jooyoung seems ten times, no, scratch that, a hundred times more panicked than Kyungsoo himself about his incomplete essay.
He merely laughs. "Relax. I'm almost done. The conclusion, appendix and bibliography portion won't take much time or effort."
"It will!"
"Nah. In my past essays it took me less than half an hour. I'll still be going to sleep before midnight today."
"Impossible. And you still get HDs? How in the world are you so smart?"
Kyungsoo sits up at this, cocking his head to one side. "You yourself don't look like you study all the time." The library is darker and emptier than average now that it is near closing time, and his voice sounds as if it's echoing through the shelves. Not in a creepy way, though.
Jooyoung slumps back into her seat, sighing. "Yeah, well, but my grades aren't as good as yours."
"Isn't Han Jooyoung the girl everyone talks about?" Kyungsoo is raising his eyebrows now, his head still to one side. "Like the girl who's incredibly cool and probably the smartest in our major?"
Jooyoung lets out a satisfied smile, not bothering to bite it back. She is flattered, honestly. Her mood is lifted in an instant, and she feels her cheeks warming to a nice fuzzy temperature. "Haha, I guess you could say it's true. I mean — I do get HDs most of the time, or all of the time, and that's with procrastinating and a part-time job! Pure genius. Plus like, when I walk around I do exude a cool —"
"Remind me never to compliment you again," Kyungsoo cuts in.
She feels cheeky today, so she continues. "As I was saying, I exude a cool aura, and my gait is that of a scholar, and —"
"Oh my gosh," Kyungsoo sighs, but Jooyoung finds a hint of a smile hidden behind his expression of disdain. "Fine, smartest girl. Do you want to proofread my essay? I'll proofread your next one."
"Yes!" She breathes, completely giving up on her cocky act. Kyungsoo is smarter than her (only slightly, but still), and she wants as much of his help as possible for as many assignments as possible. Forget her pride, her grades are much more important. She controls her tongue and doesn't say anything lest Kyungsoo finds out its an unfair deal that he's offering — he probably doesn't need her proofreading, but she wants his so badly.
"What's your essay topic?" Jooyoung asks.
"A comparison between the self-perception theory and the social comparison theory."
"Yuck, that's boring." She makes a face, and he laughs. (Jooyoung loves how she can say the most random and annoying things to Kyungsoo without worrying about what he thinks.)
"Boring, my foot. Your taste . This topic is fun! Why did you even choose psychology in the first place if you're so uninterested in it?"
"Why did you choose psychology as your major?" She shoots the question back at him because she can't answer the question herself.
"Because it's fun," Kyungsoo chirps, almost like a little child, and at this point in time Jooyoung questions his mental age.
"Don't you have plans for the future? Given your grades, with the scholarship and all, you would have easily become a law or medical student."
Kyungsoo bites his lip. "Okay, actually I would prefer going into the business sector after I graduate."
She is so exasperated she wants to scream, but she reminds herself that they are in the library quick enough before she does something she would regret. "Then why didn't you take business as a major?" She whispers, but the frustration that scathes it is evident.
"Nah, if I can't get into the line of business I'll just be anything that I can be. It doesn't matter much, I don't want to worry about it now." Kyungsoo shrugs again. It is less than a month since Jooyoung got to know him and she is already sick of his shrugging. She is still greatly wondered at how their personalities could be so different.
And although what he said doesn't make sense to Jooyoung at all, she has to admit: he seems happier, more humorous and popular, more free to play Diner Dash and go to the convenience store at random intervals to grab random items. Which Jooyoung isn't.
For the first time in years, she wonders if she's been living her life all wrong.
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a/n: my birthday is tmr and my exams start the day after that what is this madness bzz
I OWED SO MANY OF YOU REPLIES i’m so sorry!! just replied to everyone i hadn’t replied to aaa but i hope everyone’s having a great 2019 so far! i think it’ll take a while before my next story because of circumstances.... but i promise i’ll be back :”)
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